A Secret Even to Myself

This is purely an experiment to get writing. I do not know where this story will evolve. It is something of a break from the massive series which I am also working on... but more of a forgivable weekly sprint to see where a story will take me.

My goal is to publish every week. It's my challenge.

This is not really a novel, although I do have a plot with an end, but I am approaching it more like a serial.

This is a pure rough draft. I do not have an editor. My goal is to publish an episode at least once a week. Think of it as a live studio soap opera.

This novel will be MESSY and thank you for joining me on this scary journey.

Happy Reading

-Talyis

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A SECRET EVEN TO MYSELF

(C) 2017, Talyis Ellison

Chapter 6

Mahin tried to contain herself but she was hoping up and down like a grade school child at a brand new amusement park while looking up at Tobias. He only held the object of her anticipation above her with a stern look that she barely registered.

"You get 10 minutes of the phone," Tobias stated shortly and handed the phone to her.

She grasped it with both hands as if it were to come to life and wiggle out of her hand and escape. She quickly dialed Russ her agent and turned her back to Tobias. Every ring felt like she was finally able to take some control of her life.

"Hey Babe, what's up?" Russ said as soon as he picked up the phone, his usual greeting to all of his clients.

She covered the receiver and whispered to Tobias, "Can I get a little privacy?" He only stood statue still - her answer. She rolled her eyes, this choice seemed to twist against her already waning ability to hold her tongue with him. Today marked week three and she was feeling wild.

"He wants to punish me!" She spat into the phone to her agent, making sure Tobias knew she was tattling on him.

It was only mid-morning and Tobias was already on the rampage finding the slightest slip and was ready to deliver the guillotine. She had at least woken up on time to wake up Prince Charming but she had snuck away to use one of the guest bathrooms instead of degrading herself to ask him for permission. Her arms felt like taffy and she wasn't going to stand another uneven blow of consequential justice dealt out by the "judge -jury-and executioner" Tobias.

"Babe, I doubt he will really punish you. What's he going to do turn you over his lap?" Russ chuckled almost with a heat of wishing it. Lascivious bastard.

Malin turned red, "Russ, I am not joking."

"Listen, Malin, I don't care what he does. You just have to follow the judgment, which means you stay with this guy, you do whatever it is he wants you to do. Just do it.What is this week 3?"

"Week 1"

"1... Whatever. Babe, just..." She hated when he was searching for words that meant he was on to something else or talking to someone; and right now, she wasn't his priority. "Mahin you're almost done. Just 8 more weeks to go. Just do the time. Don't make a fuss and you'll be done before you know it. You'll be able to finally make this film. This all will all be an afterthought. This could mean Oscar and BAFTA awards, Babe. So don't screw this up."

"Russ, I don't feel-"

"I gotta go, Babe."

"Wait! Wait! Can you please give me Matt's number? Please!"

"No can do. Gotta go. Kiss kiss."

Malin squeezed her eyes shut, she was trying to fight back the tears that threatened to leak. Where was Matt and why wasn't he rescuing her from this mess. She smashed her fist into the marble but quickly regretted it because now not only her arms smarted like hell but now her wrist radiated.

"If you are done with your histrionics. Back to the library, middle of the room, you know what to do." Tobias ordered, taking the phone from her.

"Why?! Are you going this to me?" Mahin whispered.

"You need to learn that you must balance your life," he replied like it was a simple math equation.

"My life is balanced." Mahin attacked. "You're the crazy one who is unbalanced. You torture poor people."

"If it means I will save a life." Tobias' eyes burned like fire.

"You are not saving my life."

"Who said I was saving your life," the chill in his voice frightened her. "In my opinion, I think you are intent on throwing it away. Why would I bother trying to save your life?"

Malin looked at him in complete shock. "Why am I here then, If you don't care about me."

"I care about stopping you from harming others. And if in the meantime you realize that your unbalanced life is worth saving, then it's a perk." Tobias shrugged his shoulders, his relenting cold gaze burned her soul's energy.

"My life is balanced." She pouted less assuredly. "I don't know what your deal is but you don't know a thing about me. You're Mr. Perfect, you've never made a mistake? I live a good life. I do my job and I am fine. So, I made one big mistake, I don't deserve to be ridiculed, debased by some loner, sadist."

"I haven't even begun to show you sadism. You obviously haven't learned you lesson from yesterday. Go upstairs now!"

"You are an asshole!" Mahin screamed and marched upstairs to the library to do her punishment.

Tobias rolled his eyes, it had been a long time since a woman had behaved so obstinately around him with total disregard for what he had mandated for her own good. He loathed it and yet there was more to it than just that.

***

"So where is she?" Malcolm tipped back his beer and threw a smirk his way.

"Upstairs, dusting," Tobias answered. Popping popcorn into his mouth, while tanning on the deck.

"When are you going to tell her, you hire a cleaning service that comes in every day?"

Tobias stretched his arms above his chest and simply chuckled. A wicked smile crossed his face. Malcolm

"You can be a bastard you know that." Malcolm could only chuckle. He had known Tobias for ten years and he knew every one of his wicked tricks. He took another swig and kicked his feet out on the lounger to relax on the deck and enjoy the sun and the salty blue ocean breeze.

"Don't get to comfortable over there, my friend." Tobias threw popcorn kernels at his friend. "You might retire"

"Wow, Malin Chambers is in your house!" Malcolm thrilled and Tobias' playfulness evaporated. "How crazy is that? Have you seen any of her films?"

"No. I couldn't imagine what kind of person she is on set, let alone in her films."

"Actually, my friend. She isn't like your average gone-bad actresses. She is really respected. She works very hard. No shenanigans on set, ever. She delivers the goods, my friend. Every time."

Tobias rolled his eyes and ate another handful of popcorn.

"Why don't you come back, Tobias. It's been almost two years."

"No." He said shortly

"She wouldn't want you to live this way. She would want you to give up your dream."

"Malcolm, I am not having this conversation again with you," Tobias stood up and began to push the fallen popcorn over the deck into the ocean.

"Stubborn as always."

Malcolm has always been by Tobias' side since they first started working in the industry together as grips. Malcolm introduced him to Angelica. And, Malcolm was the only one he could call when he needed someone most. They had been each others camera operations since they started doing league Hollywood films. Although Malcolm was good, Tobias was really sought after as he started to get pressure to move in director roles but he loved the camera. It felt like chaos to him being push and pulled in so many directions. It was Malcolm, who introduced him to channeling his talents in the relationship dynamic of dominant and Angelica was the perfect submissive.

"Wow," Malcolm stretched, spying Mahin in the window. "She is stunning. How are you able to keep it together so well, Toby. She is simply beautiful."

"She's just another Hollywood actress."

"That's Mahin Chambers. Fuck, she is gorgeous. You know she is going to be something huge, Tobias. She might be the one dictating who works and who doesn't one day...when she cleans up."

"If she cleans up." Tobias retorted and glanced up to the library seeing Mahin sweeping the patio.

"Good thing she has you," Malcolm chuckled and pat Tobias' shoulder. "She'll be making all the decisions including who DPs one day. You better behave yourself."

"Well, it's a good think I left the industry."

"How did you get saddled with this job anyways?"

"Remember the incident at the grocery store?" Malcolm swallowed his swig of beer and nodded, "Well, I've been assigned anger management counseling and community service. This is the community service since they think I am such a pillar of society" Tobias grinned playfully and Malcolm choked on his laughter. "They felt taking in a person who stymies my anger can help me to channel it, make a difference and eventually let go of my anger."

Malcolm tapped his beer bottle and raised his eyebrows ready for the punchline, "You aren't going to knock out my windows, Toby, over this one beer are you?"

Tobias' eyes narrowed not wanting to laugh at his own misguidance.

"Relax, my friend," Malcolm saved Tobias from admitting his own weakness. "I'm staying for dinner anyways before I hit the road. Plus, I want to see what[s the big deal about this,

Malin, that's got your balls tighter than what they were when you first met Angelica."

"Don't insult me or Angelica. I have no desire for that girl."

Malcolm only hummed with disbelief. Tobias' chin flexed with tension only to be released by the sound of the front doorbell.

"That's her probation officer."

Malcolm followed Tobias back into the house. Malin was quickly torpedoing down the stairs.

"Tobias, does this babysitting job mean you won't be DMing next weekend?"

"Shit!"

"Well, of course, you can always bring Malin along..." Malcolm teased. Tobias shook his head, just the idea of having Mahin in a dungeon annoyed him. And yet the more he gave if a second thought, it excited him in an old familiar way.

Malin quickly skipped down the stairs she looked at Tobias and then to Malcolm then back to Tobias again.

"Malcolm, meet Mahin Chambers,"

"Pleasure."

"Malcolm is my good friend. You respect him as you respect me." Tobias said sharply. "Get the door."

"Gladly. It's my new probation officer and once he sees the shit I've had to put up with here,

I am out of here." Mahin flipped her hair and smiled at Malcolm. "Pleasure to meet you, Malcolm. You have better manners than your friend." Mahin skittered to the door like a starlet making her stately departure.

"Shit!" Malcolm laughed, "She's got you worked up royally, Toby. I like her. You finally got yourself beat."

Tobias narrowed his eyes not taking them off of Mahin leaving for the mud room and sulked into the kitchen.

Mahin and her new probation officer toured the house. Malin interjecting as much as possible about the substandard quality of life she was subjected to. The probation officer was trying to be as quick and thorough as possible, while really not paying too much attention to Mahin.

"Listen, I am here for the State, not for you. I am not your concierge. I am your probation officer. You follow the rules here. I don't care if he has you doing military boot camp exercises. You got it."

"He's a pervert. Did you make sure he is not a sex offender."

"Ms. Chambers. I really don't care. You want to go to jail and do your time. I will take you right now. But what you have here is more cozier than a cot in a prison ward. Count your blessings." With that, her probation officer handed her a cup.

"What's this for?"

"You pee in it?"

"Do I have to keep the door open too."

"Listen do whatever you wish. It comes up positive you are out of here. And then you will be peeing in front of many people, and showering and other than things."

"I made one mistake!"

"And now we face our consequences."

Mahin's eyes dropped as she took the cup and headed towards the bathroom, thankful Tobias was downstairs that she could get away closing the door.

"You've got 10 seconds," he called from the foot of the stairs.

"10 seconds to pee on command?!" Mahin's face crumbled into astonishment.

"That or keep the door open. No funny business."

Malin huffed and closed the door, counting.