Better the First Time Around

"Ouch!" She shouted over the music.

"That's not a safe word," I replied with a sadistic grin.

The lights were low, casting shadows in the corner where she stood. Faced forward, her arms were up over her head, shackled to the x-frame in soft leather cuffs. Her body naked except for the g-string; the soft white skin of her back contrasted with the reddening lines left by the signal tail. I stood about three paces behind her, with the whip in my hands, armed and ready to throw with aimed precision.

"Not so hard," she whined.

A loud firecracker pop was my reply. Never touched the target, but her whole body jerked sideways as though I had. Mind-fuck at its finest. Again, I fired off another round. Pop! Crack! Crack! This round, contact was made. Sweet little diagonal stripes of red immediately appeared.

"Fuck you!" she yelled.

I rushed up, grabbed her hair at the nape of her neck and pulled back. In her ear, I whispered, "you wish." She turned her head to face me. Tears filled those phantom grey eyes and a knife stabbed my heart. I looked away quickly and returned my gaze. My hand loosened the grip of her hair, and I lightly stroked her back. Reactive to my touch, she tensed. I flashed a smile, winked and asked if she wanted to continue. She nodded and I kissed her cheek.

I raised my whip and fired another round. The unforgettable sound of the whip as it brakes the sound barrier turns heads in a crowd. Red marks appeared on her shoulder blades, which blended in with the array of others. She squirmed and twisted at each contact. I paused and watched her settle into the groove, as though to anticipate the next volley.

"Breathe." I reminded her.

Her back expanded as she took a deep breath. Adrenaline charged through my body, quite the rush. There was a churning in my groin. Hot crotch.

There was a pause as the pounding beat of the music faded; created a silence that reminded me of where I was. I walked a couple steps up to where my shackled beauty stood and placed my hand on her back. The heat of her back told me it was almost time to stop.

"Hi, there," I said.

She turned her head and I could see the dreamy look in her eyes. She was in 'sub-space', floating high on the released endorphins. It was time to stop.

"I'm fine. I want more."

Nah, we're done. I reached up and released her cuffed wrist. Fortunately, I held her wrist as the weight of her arm dropped like a stone. She couldn't help it, either; she was 'in the zone'.

"Talk to me." Nothing, no sound. "How ya doing?"

"Fine," she said in a slow drawl. "I'm doing fine."

A sure sign was that she'd resumed control of her own body. She was able to shift her feet while I removed the remaining cuff. She lowered her arm all by herself, without the same free fall as before. Yeah, she was doing fine..

I wrapped my arm around her waist and walked we walked over to the couch. She uncurled away from my arm, and sat down, she slowly leaned back against the cushion. Her eyes were still 'dreamy' but I could see some clarity there as well.

"Want some water?" I asked.

She nodded.

I reached over to the table next to the couch and grabbed a bottle of water. I removed the top, and handed her the bottle. She smiled a thank you and helped me guide it to her mouth. I moved my hand away as she drank unassisted. She handed the half-filled bottle back to me and leaned against the back of the couch.

I held the bottle in case she needed more, and sat on the couch next to her. She leaned against me, her head rested in the nook of my shoulder as I placed my arm around her. She placed her arm across my abdomen, giving my side a quick squeeze.

We sat there for a while. It felt good to hold her. I wanted to do more than just hold. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to...well, it wasn't up to me. She was in a monogamous relationship. To play in a scene with somebody is one thing, it doesn't always lead to sex unless that's already negotiated.

A couple strands of her hair tickled my nose. I brushed them away from my face and rested my head next to hers. She raised her hand from across my stomach and placed on my chest. The churning got stronger, virtual heatwaves rose from my crotch. I didn't expect her touch to bring on such a reaction, such heat. Maybe it was the fact that I had been celibate for a few months and yearned for sex..

I put my hand over hers and she curled her fingers around mine. My hand trembled slightly at her touch. I started to remove my hand, and her fingers clenched tighter. I felt uncomfortable by her action. Thought in my head twirled. This was beginning to get out of control; it wasn't part of the negotiation.

She moved her face closer and suddenly kissed the side of my neck. My face flushed, and my throat was suddenly dry. I pushed her away and leaned forward to get some space. WTF?

"Oh no you don't", she said playfully.

"I need some water." My voice sounded raspy.

"Will this help?"

Before I had a chance to answer, she put her mouth on mine. She pulled me close, while she forced my mouth open using her tongue. Not much of a struggle, I was easy. She pushed me back on the couch and laid between my legs. Her mound pushed against mine. She felt something hard and took her mouth from mine.

"You're packing? Damn, when were you going to tell me?"

I scooted back on my elbows and sat up. This was not part of the scene.

"And what makes you think it's for you?"

Her grey eyes misted and she sat upright. Silenced. No words to fix this.

I'm such an idiot.