She moved into the new apartment in the morning and waited for her roommate to arrive. They had never met, and spoken only twice on the phone. Still, Tammy had hopes for the best. This was a big step for her. After three years in the city, she was taking a plunge and moving in with a total stranger.
There was something mysterious about it; it was a real adventure, and one she had always fantasized about. Her friends had warned about the potential dangers. Hell, she had seen a dozen movies that highlighted the dangers and drawbacks. But somehow she felt it was something she needed to try, even if only for a while. How could she be a real city girl without something like this under her belt?
So she sat in the kitchen with a bottle of water and waited, trying not to think about how nervous she was. After all, it was a black woman. She took a deep breath and a swallow of water.
Tammy had never been around blacks much. Growing up in her town, there had been a few, but they seemed to keep to themselves, and she had never thought much about them until she came to the city. Here they were everywhere. At first it had been kind of a shock, or at least a surprise. Tammy knew she wasn't supposed to be surprised about something like that: you weren't supposed to think anything about the color of people's skin. But she was ashamed to say, although only to herself, that she did think about it. She did not hate them, or she hadn't, anyway, but she always noticed them. So it was now a part of her experiment. It was time to get past all this. She was a big girl, and the incident, well, that was just one time, just an isolated event.
Not all black people were like that, she hoped.
The bell rang at a quarter past one. Tammy answered the door and let her new roommate in.
Her name was Rochelle, that was what she had said on the phone and in the application, and she wore a grey suit. Her face was heart-shaped, pretty, and her hair was tied back in a long, tight braid. In one arm was a beige coat and a large purse hung from her shoulder. She did not smile when Tammy opened the door.
"You Tammy?"
"Yes, it's nice to meet you, Rochelle." Tammy was afraid she sounded too friendly, like she would come across as condescending or something. Still, she offered her hand and Rochelle took it. The woman's palm was dry and warm.
"And you. Can I come in?"
"Oh, yes, of course, let me get out of your way. After all," she said with a laugh, "this is your place now."
Rochelle ignored Tammy's joviality and entered. Wordlessly, she went from room to room and took in the space and the light. It was a big apartment, and very clean. The owners had just renovated it in the spring, so the whole place had a new feeling.
"I wasn't sure which room you'd want, so I didn't unpack anything yet," Tammy said. "Isn't this place great?"
"Yes, it is," said Rochelle. Tammy followed her through the apartment.
"When are your things coming?"
"Tonight, after seven."
"Okay, um, Do you have a lot of furniture to move?"
"No, not now. I keep things light."
They went on. Rochelle kept quiet, and it made her uncomfortable. Tammy asked, "Do you have an idea which room you want?"
"Which one do you want?"
"Oh, I don't really care."
"Then I'll take this one." It was the master bedroom with a huge window that looked down at the street. It got the best light.
Tammy smiled. "Great," she said, and tried to mean it.
They went over the final signing of the lease and Tammy gave her the keys to the apartment.
"Okay," said Rochelle when they had gone over everything, "I have to get back to work. I'll be back tonight."
Tammy nodded. "You work at a bank, right?"
"That's right, I'm vault manager."
"Wow, that's great," she said. Then there was a pause. Tammy made herself smile and say, "I'll see you tonight, then."
Rochelle didn't say goodbye when she left.
***
Tammy had the day off from her own job at the Masterson and Hunt law office, and so she took her time in setting up what had become her new room. It helped her relax after meeting Rochelle. She was quite a lovely woman, but she was so distant. This was it; it was real. No more just imagining things. For good or bad, this was going to happen. Of course she did not expect them to be friends. Not at first, anyway. But over time, they would grow closer, and Tammy could start to get over her own ridiculous fear.
She was upset at how nervous she had been, so she put herself to work to burn through it. Tammy had a fair amount of furniture: a bed disassembled in a box, a sofa, a dresser and several bookcases, not to mention a whole living room and kitchen set. The movers had brought them in, but she set them up and put them together on her own. She had been worried about how much stuff Rochelle was going to bring, but it did not sound like it would be much.
Tammy was strong from the gym and took pleasure in being able to move things around. Her last boyfriend, Mark, had made sure that she kept herself in shape. He had a refined sense of discipline which he had taken great pains to instill in her. Now, even six months after they had broken up, she still kept to the exercise and diet regime that he had put together for her. Mark had been hopeless as a boyfriend in several ways, but the firm order that he brought with him had always turned her on.
Among her things was a cardboard box filled with mementos from their time together, toys and things. When she had finished the first round of unpacking in her room, she sat down on her newly made bed and found the box sitting there, taped shut. She knew it from the single letter T on the side.
Tammy cut through the tape with an exacto knife and opened it up. Inside were ropes tied in neat bundles, blindfolds, scarves and sashes, a collection of clamps, a few vibrators, a leather bit gag, a ring gag, a leather harness, and leather restraints for wrists and ankles. She took out the bit gag and examined it, feeling all the little indentations that her teeth had left in it over the year and a half she and Mark had been together. There was her old buttplug, too, a fat, beveled thing. And to think she had hated it at first.
She planned to get new stuff when she found a new lover, but that hadn't happened yet, so she was still hanging on to it. She laughed quietly to herself, remembering of those times, then put the bit on the bed and went to take care of the bathroom.
***
Tammy was sipping a glass of wine while she arranged the living room, when the doorbell rang. A quick look at the clock said it was 6:50.
She had asked that her friends not come over until she had settled in and could have a proper house-warming party, so she decided that it must be Rochelle's things. There was no sign of her new roommate, so she went to the door and peeked through the window. On the doorstep was a black woman in a purple hoodie and jeans. She was chewing gum and listening to music through earbuds. She raised her hand in greeting when she saw Tammy in the window.
Tammy opened the door.
The woman spoke at once and said, "Yo, you Tammy? How ya doing? I'm Steph, Rochelle's sister." Tammy started to reply, but Steph just went right on talking. "Yeah, well look, I brought over a trunk full of stuff for Rochelle. She ain't home, is she?"
"Uh, no, not yet." Tammy heart pounded in her chest. This was the sort of person she would normally cross the street to avoid. It was something she hated about herself, but the feeling of danger that came off this woman made her knees weak. But this was exactly what she was trying to change.
Tammy thought she should invite her in, make small talk, show her around the apartment, all the stuff she was so good at with other people. Somehow, none of these thoughts would come out as words, so instead she made herself smile, and made herself mean it.
"Well, look I'm double parked out here, so lemme get this stuff out the trunk before a cop comes along, alright? You wanna come out and help me?" Steph snapped her gum and went out to the street where her car was. After a moment Tammy put on some slippers and followed her.
The car was an older model Chrysler, in decent condition, but the left tail light was out.
"Your light's out," said Tammy.
"Oh, yeah, I know, I gotta get that fixed. Here, could ya take this bag, and this box, too? They're kinda heavy, so. . ."
"I have them," said Tammy, and she took them in both arms and brought them inside the house.
The biggest thing was the futon, a giant one rolled up, heavy and old. Both of them carried it together up the steps and into Rochelle's bedroom. "Man, oh man, this thing is heavy as fuck," Steph said as they got it inside. Then she went out one last time and parked her car in a spot that had opened up a ways down the street.
When she came back, Steph plopped down on the couch and put her feet up. With her hood down, Tammy got her first good look at her face. She was younger than Rochelle, her cheeks a little rounder, but her skin was rough and marred with two pock marks, one under her left eye, the other near her chin. She had big lips and a full nose, and her hair was all in cornrows. She was quite thin, but with wide hips. Steph let Tammy take her in and gave a knowing smile.
"Man, this is a nice place you guys have got here. Wish I could afford me a place like this. My place is a real dump. Walls like cardboard, and fuckin' cockroaches! It's terrible. Gotta listen to the neighbors fightin' and fuckin' all night, you know. Can you hear any of your neighbors in here?"
"Uh, I don't really know. It seems quiet enough, but it's still the first day, so," Tammy shrugged and smiled apologetically. "Um, could you keep your shoes off the sofa?"
"Oh, yeah, shit. Sorry 'bout that. Hey, you got anything to drink around here?"
