Damn, I hate it when nothing goes right. It was one of those days. Nothing I did today seemed to work out the way I planned. I got up this early this morning so I could take a few extra minutes getting ready for work. While putting on my makeup, I discovered that I was out of my favorite eye shadow, the color that really makes my eyes stand out. Then I discovered that the blouse I had planned on wearing was wrinkled, so I had to quickly iron it. And then I ripped my pantyhose. So those went into the waste can. Then, while at work, I spilled coffee on a very important client, just barely avoiding falling and breaking my neck in the process. Which probably would have been better, because now I'm sitting at my desk, playing number crunch and I can't get the fucking numbers to add up correctly!
The fact that my grandfather was in his office speaking with said important client did nothing to calm my anxiety. If I leave the office to try to relax, my grandpa might need me to get something for him. If I'm not there, I will surely look like a slacker. But if I stay here one more minute, I'm going to throw this goddamn computer onto the floor.
In a effort to calm myself, I try to recall what got me here in the first place. After graduating from high school, I was able to complete two years of basic courses at a university back in the states. I was force to put my education on hold while I worked to save up money to complete my education. You see, the U.S. apparently has a fucked up system that states if you don't have a child, are not married, and are not in the service, the school considers that your parents should be able to help you pay for school until you are 24 years old even if you don't live with them.
I am 23. And I do not live with my parents. In fact, I am here in Germany working at my grandpa's engineering facility. My parents suggested that I come for a visit to help me relax and see the world. Yeah right. Instead of sitting at my grandfather's house all day being extremely bored, I decided to do some secretary work at his company. I mean, it's not like I can go out exploring, I'd get lost in a heartbeat. And I can't speak the language, so what happens if I want something? Do I point and grunt like a caveman? And screw television. I couldn't understand it even if I could find a decent program on.
So now here I am. Me, a young, blonde hair, blue eye, 5'8" woman stuck behind a desk trying not to have an anxiety attack over what business deal I may have caused my grandfather to lose. Just as I start to get up to run to the restroom, the door to my grandfather's office opens.
"Thank you very much Mr. Riechen. And I promise you, you won't regret a thing," I hear grandpa say. All I could do was stiffen my spine and smile weakly as my grandpa led Mr. Riechen out the door. As my grandpa came back in, I was pretending to look at the numbers on my desk. Oh boy, here it comes, I thought. I'm on the next flight back to the United States.
But to my surprise, Grandpa walked around me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Good Lord, Kimmie," he said, using his nickname for me, "you're too tense." With that, he began to massage my shoulders. Relief flooded through my body. I couldn't help it, I began to cry. After all the crappy things that had happened today, I had planned to have my ass chewed out. But here was Grandpa, being as sweet as can be.
"Hush now," he said. "We'll have none of that. Just relax and let me rub your shoulders. Tell me what has you so upset." So, I did. Everything just came pouring out. Once I started, I couldn't stop. "Honey, I wish I would have known all that. I would have given you the day off."
"I know grandpa, but I just wanted to show everyone that I'm not here just because I'm your granddaughter."
"But that is exactly why you are here. You're here because I wanted to keep you out of trouble when you got bored at my house. There is nothing wrong with that. I busted my ass to make the company the successful business that it is. And if it helps my granddaughter's life a little easier, then I have nothing to be ashamed of, and neither do you, you understand?"
"I guess so," I said, sniffing. "I think I'm just stressed out. I thought my life would be on track by now. I should have graduated from college this past May. Instead, I'm two years behind and I have no clue as to when I'm going back, or even what I will be majoring in."
"Yeah, that sounds like you."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, baby, I've watched you grow up. And the one thing that I couldn't understand was why you always had everything planned out. You had your week planned, your day planned, hell, I even bet you had your hours planned. And when things didn't go according to plan, you flipped out. Honey, the world doesn't go according to plan. You can set guides, but you can never make plans. You see, guides just help keep you on path. If you don't get something done when you expected, who cares. If it's important enough, you'll get it done eventually. You should learn to relax."
During his speech, my head had lolled back from relaxation. My eyes flew open from their drowsy state when my head landed on something hard.
"Oh, uh, sorry sweetheart. Sometimes I get carried away."
Totally shocked I asked, "Did I do that?"
"Well, sort of. I'm sorry. It's just been so long and here you are, a young, attractive, intelligent woman and you're letting me touch you. My body sometimes has a mind of its own."
