We texted back and forth the next day, and the day after that. I was like we were afraid to Skype again, for fear of, ... I don't know what. Afraid it would happen again? Not really, I wished it would. Afraid that she would be forever freaked out, once she had come back to reality? Very!
On Friday afternoon I had just gotten home from work. I was going to see Marianne later. She had to work late, but we were going out at about 10:00 PM. I was undressing and down to my shorts and dress shirt when my Skype went. My heart leapt into my throat when I saw that it was Mom calling. I sat down and hesitated before pushing the button.
"Morning sweetie." She said cheerfully. "How are you? How was work?"
"Good. I just got home." I said smiling. "How was the presentation?" I knew that she had given her Powerpoint the day before.
"It was so great! Everyone was very impressed! I told them my son had helped me create it, and they thought that was really sweet, especially from overseas."
"Well, you know I'd do anything for you." She looked incredible in this cute little white sweater top, with a dozen tiny buttons down the front. I notice the top two were undone,
I hadn't meant anything by it, but a funny look flicked across her lovely features. "I know sweetie. I love that." She visibly relaxed. "Any plans for tonight?"
"Marianne and I are going out later."
"What fun. Where are you two going?"
"Don't know. Some little hole-in-the-wall down by the marina. She has to work, so not until around 10"
"Well you be careful."
"Careful of what?" I asked her, chuckling.
"You know. I don't want some pretty little French baker getting pregnant, just to catch a well-to-do American husband." I was a bit surprised by that.
"Well, ...first off ..." I started
"No, no. Don't get me wrong ..."
"It's not like that. We're not ... I haven't ... she's just a friend."
Mom had a look that was skeptical, but something more than that. We shared a long look that was a bit uncomfortable. She looked a bit ... just a tiny bit, jealous.
"Don't be jealous of Marianne."
"Jealous?!!" she countered, genuinely surprised. "Jealous? I'm not jealous" She looked to be rolling the thought over in her head. "Am I?" she quietly added, almost to herself.
"Are you?" I finally, gently asked her. She continued to ponder.
"Maybe?" She said in a tiny voice. "Just a bit?"
"Oh please, don't be. Please don't be. I love you! I've always loved you." I told her emphatically. But I was speaking to my mother; of course I loved her. I began to realize though that I was also speaking to Judy, who, I realized, I also loved. I loved Judy in a way far different than the way I loved mom. "I really do love you." She was hearing my words as "Mom". We shared another long look. She looked only slightly relieved.
"I love you Mom. And, ..." I added slowly, meaningfully, "I love you, Judy." She came fully alert at that. "I love you as my mother, but, ...."
"Oh please don't" she blurted.
"I think I love you, ... as Judy." She began to shake her head. "I love you as, ... a lover."
"No. You can't. We can't. We mustn't."
"I can't help it." I told her. "I want you that way."
There was a long silence where she kept slowly shaking her head. She looked like she was trying to convince herself more than me.
"I would love to be your lover. Take you to my bed. Make love to you." She continued to listen, shaking her head the whole time.