It was around 7pm on December 22, when my cab from the airport pulled up to the curb. An awkward nervousness rumbled in my stomach as I paid the driver then removed my suitcases and gift bags from the trunk. I paused for a moment and stood at the gate to the yard of the house were I grew up. I took a deep breath before heading up the walkway to the front door.
See, my family was expecting me home on Christmas day, but I thought it would be a fun surprise to show up a few days early. I had not seen my two sisters in nearly 3 years and had only seen my parents once in that same time period. With my family living in Pittsburgh, attending a university in Los Angeles made it very difficult for me to travel back to my hometown often. In my case, with such a shortage of time and money, it made it virtually impossible. My commitment was to get my graduate degree over 3 years by working straight through with no summer breaks. So with my intense dedication to the curriculum and the hours I was putting in as an intern with a local minor league hockey team's public relations department, I found myself too busy to keep in touch with my family in any fashion. I know it is a lousy excuse, but that was my lifestyle and my family supported me on it. There were the occasional phone calls around the holidays when mom would give me an update of how my dad was still a workaholic even after retiring; how well my older sister Colleen was handling her new family life; and how my younger sister Lizzy was a menace and was going to drive mom to an early grave. Aside from the phone calls, I received an email back in July from Colleen telling me that she was pregnant again. More recently, within the past few weeks, I received a text message from Lizzy saying that mom and dad hated her and were going to kick her out. I thought she was just being dramatic, but knowing what I know now, I wish I had not ignored that text message.
I approached the door with my nervous tension slightly subsided, sat my bags beside me and gave a few quick raps to the glass on the front door. I stood there clenching all the muscles in my body and breathing the steam from my nose and mouth. I had not yet fully adjusted to the extremely frigid climate that I was so accustomed to growing up. Southern California will spoil you rotten when it comes to weather. Suddenly the door cracked open a bit and I saw Colleen's eyes and smile grow as big as her face when she realized it was me.
"David!" she screamed as the door flung open and she lunged out into my arms.
"Hey sis, Merry Christmas!" I gave a quick peck on the cheek, then grabbed her shoulders and held her at arms length so I could get a better glance at her.
"Wow, Coll, you look great." And she did. For being a 30 years old, 6 months pregnant and already a mother of 1 boy/1 girl fraternal twins, she looked fabulous. "Don't take this the wrong way, but your body is really responding great to this pregnancy."
"Awe, thank you David" She said with blushing cheeks and a big smile. She took that comment as flattery because she gained nearly a hundred pounds during her pregnancy with the twins. She had a lot of problems with how her body was handling the pregnancy and was on bed rest for several months. When I left for California, she had been working extremely hard for several months after the birth to get her body back into shape. All that hard work really paid off because she looked to be back to the beautifully fit, 120 lbs woman she used to be, well, not counting the wonderful baby lump growing beneath her red Christmas sweater.
"Are you sure there aren't two little ones hiding in there again?" I said with my hand placed gently on her perfectly rounded belly.
"Definitely not, jerk" she replied with a smile and gave me a soft punch in the arm.
"I love the shorter hair. It's very mommy-like." Running my fingers through quickly with a teasing grin on my face.
"Get inside goofball, before we both catch a cold." Colleen snickered.
"Wow, you really have become mom, I mean, a mom. Haven't you?" Again she gave me a punch in the arm, but a little stronger this time. Then as Colleen stepped out to reach for a few of my bags, before I could tell her to stop, I heard...
"Stop right there missy. What would possess you to try to lift those?" Just then Colleen's husband Darren appeared in the doorway with two little munchkins latched to each leg.
"Welcome home David" as he extended his hand and pulled me in for half a hug.
"Hey kids, say hello to your Uncle Davy." The two shyly turned away, then David pried them from his legs and they ran back towards their mommy.
"Hi Justin and Jamie!" I said with a slight wave towards them. "Wow, I haven't seen them since they were little babies. I can't believe how big they've gotten."
"And don't worry, by the end of the night they will be biting your ankles, not mine." Darren replied as he reached for one of my suitcases and one of the gift bags.
"Well I hope so, because I told Santa to bring them something extra special from Uncle David, so they better warm up to me." as I tussled the hair on their heads with both my hands.
"Come on in Dave so we can get you settled and we can go downstairs to Dad's bar. Crack some beers, throw some darts and shoot the shit..." Just then Colleen punched Darren in the arm with much more force than the two nudges she gave me.
"DARREN!!! You know daddy wanted that to be a surprise for David"
"Sorry hun, I forgot. Got caught up in the moment. Sorry too David, but really, it's awesome. You are going to love it."
Darren and I always had a good brother-in-law relationship ever since he met my sister while doing his undergrad work at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh. Darren lived in the dorms on campus, so I would go party with him and my sis any chance I could get. I got to see and experience a lot of odd and crazy things in those days, but that's a different story. They progressed into a much calmer lifestyle after getting married and having the twins...as they should have.
Once through the doorway, there was the choice to go left into the living room and den area of the house, right into the dining room and kitchen area, or straight up the stairs to the second floor where the bedrooms were. Like a deer in headlights, I just stood there with the heavy bags pulling down on my arms. The warmth of being back in that house overwhelmed me with emotion. Then I snapped out of it...
"Where's mom and dad?"
Colleen swooped down and picked up both Justin and Jamie at the same time in one only-a-mother-can-do type motion. "Put your bags down. Darren will carry them up to your room for you. Mom and Dad are in the kitchen."
"Thanks D." I sat the bags on the floor, gave Darren a pat on the back then headed towards the kitchen.
As I turned the corner to the dining room, dad saw me from the counter in the kitchen. I held my finger to my mouth for my dad to 'shhh'. Mom was checking on the cookies she had baking in the oven, so her back was turned. I could tell she was in her typical holiday zone because the Christmas music was blaring and she was singing along. She was so much in the zone, that she did not hear the commotion of me, Colleen, Darren and the kids at the front door.
I snuck up behind her and placed my hands over her eyes just as my dad said "Guess Who?". The shock of my cold hands touching her faced caused her hips to buck back very quickly right into my crotch. I didn't realize it prior, but my penis was partially erect during the moment of impacted. It wasn't an erection of sexual implications, but I guess one of the comfort of being home or maybe that of having to take a leak since getting off the plane. Either way, I was a little embarrassed and in a bit of pain. I just hope she didn't feel it. I doubled over and fell to my knees as mom spun around and realize who she just butted...literally.
"OH MY GOSH, DAVID! Are you alright dear? I'm so sorry!" My mom crouched down beside me. In that motion her dressed fluttered a bit and a waft of all the wonderful scents in the kitchen rushed my face. Again, I didn't recognize it as anything sexual. It was just the smell of cookies, eggnog, and cakes and mom's sweet scent all mixed and came from beneath her dress.
"I can't believe you are here days early! Did you see your beautiful niece and nephew yet?"
"You ah-ight David?" dad snickered.