This story was inspired by a reddit prompt where the punchline was "when yo white friend start arguing with his mom and then she starts sucking his dick"
*****
"I'm telling you man, my mother sucks my dick."
Jamal looks over at his friend Ethan and curls his upper lip in disgust.
"You proud of that, nigga? I wouldn't tell nobody if my mom did some shit like that. Why you so proud, motherfucker?"
Ethan smiles and replies "Because, she sucks my dick whenever I want. She always has, ever since I turned 18. Her mouth is like a big wet pussy, and I fucks it whenever I needs it!"
Ethan reaches his hand up for a high five, but is left hanging as Jamal stops walking and turns to face his blonde haired, blue eyed friend.
"Yo, son, I mean, even if your mom let you do some shit like that, why you telling me? She going to suck MY dick, nigga?"
Ethan shakes his head and says "No, I don't think she would... she doesn't even like black people, I think... but if you wanted to, I could sneak you over and let you watch."
Jamal considers this offer for a second, and retorts "Well, even if I did want to see some sick shit like that, how could I? It's not like I have a fuckin' Harry Potter cloak or some shit."
Ethan grins and starts to walk away from his friend "Yeah, well, you just come over tonight around 7. Come to the side of my house, and throw a pebble up at my window."
Jamal shakes his head as he watches his crazy friend walk around the corner and vanish, thinking to himself "White people be like..."
Later that evening Jamal tells his grandmother that he's going to step out to get more milk from the store, and quickly slides out the back door. She hardly notices his absence, wrapped up in her DVR'ed soap operas. As he walks down the street he notices that no one really walks around this neighborhood at night, and wonders why Ethan even lives here. 'Maybe they are white trash' he thinks to himself, and smiles.
Arriving to Ethan's house he looks around for neighbors but again sees no one. He steps through the broken door of their chain link fence, carefully pulling it closed behind himself. He circles around to the right side of Ethan's family home, careful to avoid the overgrown garden. He trips over a rake as he nears the side window and freezes, glancing around. Hearing nothing he continues, stopping under the window that he knows is Ethan's. Before he can look around for a pebble he notices a light go on, and Ethan's window open. Ethan's tousled head appears in the opening, and he stage-whispers "Yo, sup my nigga!"
Jamal smiles and whispers back "You know you can't use that word! How do I get up there?"
Ethan holds out one finger then disappears into the house, reappearing a moment later with a coiled up rope ladder. Jamal thinks to himself 'this nigga really think he a pirate' before stepping back and watching the bundle of sticks and rope to tumble to his feet. Carefully he tests his weight, and feeling no shift he beings to ascend, taking it one rung at a time. Halfway up he hears a knock on Ethan's door, and looking up sees Ethan's head vanish into the room.
From inside the room Jamal overhears this conversation
"Ethan baby, why are you still up? Don't you know it's time for bed?"
"Yeah ma, I know, but you don't control me so... what are you going to do about it?"
Jamal hears a sad sigh and then the sound of a door closing.
"Ethan, sweetie, what's wrong? Did you have a bad day? Are you tensing up again?"
"No ma, god... you're such a bitch. Why don't you go downstairs and get me a soda?"