Thanks for all the nice comments on my first two letters. Mom and I may be boring to some, but I wouldn't trade my experiences with her for anything.
For new readers please read "Whip it Out" and preferably "Amber" as well.
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December 1983. I haven't seen Amber since Thanksgiving. She's getting ready for finals. I miss her so much. Not just for her body but to feel attached to something or somebody.
This is my first year out of High School and everyone has left me. My best friend Kevin and Amber have gone to separate colleges. Tracey my sister is on her second year at Mizzou.
Most of my other friends have gone their separate ways as well.
My days consist of a few community college classes and working on the farm. Nights aren't much more exciting. I feel stupid cruising, remembering making fun of other graduates a couple of years ago.
On top of that Mom and I have barely talked for almost a one and a half years.
The first year was easy. Amber more than kept me occupied. Now I have time to reflect on what occurred and how it has affected mom and I.
We have never mentioned the barn incident again. It was such an emotional event. Any desire or need has completely left me and I know it has mom as well.
She sees to my physical needs and asks about my day, but it seems hollow.
This fall has found me home alone with mom most afternoons due to my college schedule. This has been quite awkward. It's been a long time since we were alone together and we seem like strangers.
At first mom always had to run an errand, work in the yard or send me on a job. Anything to keep distance between us.
As the winter has moved in, it has forced us to interact. And a workable normalcy has been reached between us.
The guilt I feel is killing me and my desire to let her know I'm sorry is overwhelming.
As usual mom's busy today when I get in. Coming through the door I hear the same;
"Hey, how was your day?"
"Nothing new."
"I need you to go up in the attic and get out all the picture boxes. Tracey called and wants me to send her some pictures for a class. Also, you might as well get out the Christmas tree and decorations while your up there. Your dad went to town and I want to have it ready for him to put up. He won't gripe as much about having to help, if it's already out of the attic."
"Bring the picture boxes in when you come!" I hear mom yell at me.
Sitting them on the kitchen table mom comes over and starts opening them.
We sit and hand pictures back and forth to each other just looking at memories like most people have done. Halloween pictures, Christmas pictures, baby pictures etc.
Reaching in for the next one I pull out a framed 11x12 of Tracey sitting on our old antique pull tractor. I remember dad let her pull it in a local tractor pull and she won. I was so mad he wouldn't let me drive.
Today however, my eyes are on the barn window in the background of the photo. As it's the stall #4 window. It's just glaring at me from the photo.
"What's that one?" mom asks bending around to take a look.
"Oh I remember this! Tracey was so proud" mom says as she sits smiling at the picture.
Her posture tensed up and I knew she was drawn to the window as well and everything it represented. Standing up I start to makeup an excuse to get away and mom stood, placing her hand on my forearm to stop me.
Glancing at each other I caved and just grabbed mom hugging her with everything I had, saying "I'm so sorry mom" and trying hard not to break down.
I feel her arms around me pressing me in and her head on my shoulder.
I guess she sensed I was tearing up as she rubbed my back and whispered "it's okay" into my ear.
Feeling her in my arms is strange. We were never a physical family, rarely hugging and kissing. I can't remember the last time mom did either to me. It was usually a pat on the back or some type of rough housing.
My parents' love was always there and taken for granted.
All I know is I cant' get enough of her.
"I'm just so sorry" saying again and pulling mom into me. I Desperately need to feel her acceptance and forgiveness.
Mom's head crushes into my neck having no where else to go. She lightly kisses my neck.
"It's OK we just have to figure out how to live with it."
I run my hands under her t shirt just to feel her skin.
Mom gently kisses my neck again giving her approval.
Running my hands over her back and sides I can feel her bare breasts within reach.
I am choking up trying to tell mom "I've missed you so much" as I stroke her bare back.
"Me too."
This is all I wanted. All I needed. Her complete forgiveness and to know she wanted to be my mom and not simply required to do so. I made no further move enjoying this moment.
Mom moves her hands to my pants and gently undoes them as they drop to the floor.
"Don't. You don't have to."
"Sshh" mom whispers in my ear as her hand finds me.
Mom uses her free hand and pushes her shirt above her breasts and then crushes herself against my chest.
Mom just firmly pushed my cock against her stomach. Not wrapping her hand around me or moving her hand much, just pushing me against her.
I think she needed to feel my desire for her still existed. As much as I needed to feel my mom's love.
This isn't my first breast but the first time I've felt moms'. I gently consume her left breast with my hand and fingers not wanting to miss any of it. I'm not shy with her nipple and roll it between my thumb and finger stretching it to it's maximum. Never hurting her.
Mom's just gently kissing my neck and massaging my cock against her stomach. I've started humping her stomach subtly with short firm thrusts.
Mom gently kisses up my neck to my ear as I am humping her stomach and hand, she whispers "It's ok, you can do it" in my ear. I unload a year and a half of pain and guilt on her and she doesn't break contact taking it for me as any mom would.
I refuse to give up her breasts moving from one to the other. Pushing against her slimy stomach I notice she hasn't released me either, not wanting the moment to end.
