It all began at about half past two one morning; with the sounds of some dickheaded cunt roaring around the streets, drunk and drugged no doubt, presumably showing off to his equally drunken and drugged-up mates.
I remember burying my head under the duvet to block out some of the racket – and then I heard the car again despite the duvet, its engine roaring louder this time; then howling nearby suddenly, followed by a moment's silence and then an almighty crash as the car buried itself in our lounge wall.
There was a major earthquake, then dust everywhere and instant panic; my sister running screaming from her room; Mum and dad rushing everywhere; me, naked then wrapped in my duvet, doing my best to find my laptop and other such valued possessions in the dark and above it all the sounds of police and then emergency service sirens as they homed in on the little arsehole who'd just fucked up our lives.
I have no concerns to cheerfully say that he, drugged and drunk indeed, had come out of it worst as a large chunk of the wall had collapsed on top of the car and him, thus inflicting numerous "life changing" injuries. I had absolutely no sympathy for his mates in the passenger seats either, two of whom were also quite badly damaged and I was also pleased to hear that they'd all been charged with numerous offences.
The only downside was that knowing the British judicial system, they'd probably be getting no more than a few months inside and a slap on the wrist each at the worst......despite having made our lives hell.
But there were other, more interesting abiding memories of the moment; seeing my very fuckable sister fleeing down past my room stark naked; her cute titties almost flapping as she passed by; her arse wobbling so beautifully. Then another quick flash when she turned at the stairs and inadvertently displayed her bushy little triangle, before she managed to pull her dressing gown on and wrap it tightly around herself. And then there was a full frontal view of my very yummy Mum as her dressing gown billowed in the air, her shortie nightie hiding virtually nothing.
It wasn't the first time I'd seen either of them naked but these particular sighting became very deeply etched into my erotic memory amidst all the chaos.
There were also images of my partially clad father, his belly wobbling everywhere above his droopy underpants; him shouting obscenities at all and sundry....but those images of him quickly became history and as good as forgotten.
For us things now became very different.
Gone was our nice four-bedroom house and relaxing gardens; at least for some while. The emergency services "made the house safe" as they removed what was left of the car – which had been stolen, as one might have guessed – and we were made to vacate the premises on the spot; wonderful fun in the middle of the night, I don't think. Thank heavens it was summer and the night was both warm and dry.
And it was even more "fun" for me because as I said, like my sister, I'd been sleeping naked and had leapt out of the house wrapped only in my duvet, leaving my clothes and even my dressing gown behind. Oh yes, I'd saved all the important things to my life, namely my phone and my laptop, but I hadn't bothered with my clothes!
Being hustled around in the middle of the night by a rather attractive paramedic lady isn't conducive to keeping everything under control and for some reason I kept finding that I was becoming aroused; presumably the strangeness of the situation was erotic somehow even though I was now standing out on the lawn with a quickly gathering crowd of onlookers all around.
And so it was that Mum managed to find me a pair of dad's trousers and one of his shirts to put on while she held the duvet up round me and yeah – I know she got an eyeful and I was at least partially erect, but I couldn't have cared less; I just wanted to get better covered, even if the trousers were way too big around the middle for me.
Anyway, within hours we were moved into a hotel courtesy of our insurers but such luxuries as waiters and room service hardly made up for the loss of our comfortable home.
Eventually, a few days later, Dad came and told us that he'd been informed that our place had been deemed structurally unsound and that it would have to be demolished before being rebuilt, news that went down like a lead brick.
I went and shut myself in my hotel room to block out the sounds of Mum and sis sobbing loudly as the news of our extended 'exile' sunk in.
If there was a good side, it was that we'd all managed to save our personal possessions and they eventually also brought us all our clothes so we didn't look quite so much like tramps. They also then stabilised the place sufficiently to allow the removal of much of our furniture and family bits and pieces, which were put into storage for us.
But the worst part was the hotel.....it was crap, to be honest; I'm not sure if it had any stars against its name at all, it certainly didn't deserve any.
The food was nothing to get excited about at all; the place was noisy, it was dirty and the beds were uncomfy and eventually Dad and Mum kicked up enough fuss to make the insurers find us a temporary home; the snag being however that it was only a three bedroom place with just one bathroom now, but better than this hovel.
But perhaps more importantly, it was some fifteen miles away from where we'd been living.....on the wrong side of town from where dad worked. Nevertheless, it was better than the privations of hotel life, so we accepted their offer and duly moved in.
And at this point I'd better tell you a bit about us because it's only now that the members of our family really become part of the story.
Dad is an overweight exec; he's well past his prime except in the business field where he's still something of a rising star or so he says, but I'm going to say no more about him because apart from his parental duties he never really does a lot for me, to be honest.
Oh, I ought to add that he's 48 this year and for that matter, Mum's 43; I'm 22 and my sister is 19.
My Mum Pam, quite unlike Dad, is sweet and she's pretty too; I love her dearly. Not least because she's a busty lady who always dresses to show off her best bits although she has to actually because she works as a beauty consultant, but beside that she's an absolute darling to me. Yeah, I do love her to bits and I'll do anything for her, especially when she promises to give me one of her nice sexy cuddles as a thank you!
Both Mum and Dad are perhaps of average height, but somehow I've managed to reach six feet two inches, some five inches taller than either of them and I can only add that thank heavens I've taken after Mum and not Dad in looks and ways.
Much as Dad's doing well, I'd hate to look as miserable as he does or be so wrapped up in making money that I couldn't enjoy life. And I'd hate to be as fat as he is, for that matter.
So back to me – I've been at Uni for the past three years – all I need now is a job; something to do with computers preferably.
Speaking of enjoying life, I'm not going to tell you all the details of how I lost my virginity but I did manage to do so, a few years back. It happened at a rather wild and boozy Christmas party; and I don't even know who I screwed, to be honest, but one thing I will say is that it was a family party with some aunts and nieces there – so I'm still curious about who my partner-in-crime was! I won't tell you how old I was either; all I know is that my penis, which I'd better tell you now, is almost exactly eight inches long and uncut, performed well by all impressions. Twice!
My other family member is my sister Kim; a cute Facebook-rapt kid who seems to think that selfies are the most important part of her life, so far as I can see. But she's a fun sister to have and diligent with it on the whole; she's been working full time at the chemist shop down at the local centre; she was the assistant manager at the time of our "troubles". She'd have gone to work there when she left school but she had to wait until she was over 18 and now I think she's got her career fairly well mapped out.
Oh and she's pretty as well; she takes after Mum so she's quite generous up top and she's got a really cute face, when she's not posing for her camera! I've seen her Facebook photos – she's showing a heck of a lot of her cleavage in them! Despite her charms I don't think she's got a steady boyfriend; I mean she doesn't seem to go out with any bloke more than once – perhaps she's just not ready for anything serious yet.
I won't say that she's a blonde because the next time I see her she'll probably have dyed her hair black or green or some other colour. She's got a gorgeous bum too, not that I'm an arse man but even so it's worth a second look whenever I catch her in her undies!
