So. I visited the story discussion forum and stumbled on a thread asking why there weren't more mother/daughter stories. That got me thinking...and this is the result.
This is much more a love story than an erotic story, and therefore the "preliminaries" are likely too long for some people's tastes. I do, though, think there has to be some plausible rationale for the characters to do what they do, especially in incest stories. In any case, it doesn't really matter. I couldn't have written this any other way.
Writing this story was difficult. I cried as I wrote a couple of the scenes. But, thanks to a couple of martinis and some hugs from a very special person, I got it done.
I hope you like it. If nothing else, know that it's an honest attempt at putting some thoughts and feelings down on paper. Or electrons.
Kate
*
Danielle hesitated, frustrated with her inability to express herself.
"Why am I such a wimp?" she asked herself for the umpteenth time. Mackenzie, oblivious to her friend's turmoil, chattered on aimlessly.
"Jeez, Dannie," she was saying, "isn't this a gorgeous view?" As she spoke she gestured out over the gorge, glowing in the amber light of the sunset.
"Yeah...it's pretty amazing," Danielle responded softly. She looked down at the ground, then she rested her hand on her friend's arm. "Mac," she said even more softly, "there's something I need to tell you."
Mackenzie reached up and took Danielle's hand and smiled, even though she knew what was coming. She was a true blue friend and nothing would ever change that...even what she feared was about to be an awkward conversation. She just looked at Danielle and let her speak her piece.
"Mac," Dannie began, "I...I...you know that I will always be your friend." She knew that was lame, but it was a start. Mackenzie just smiled and nodded.
"Dannie," she interrupted, "I will always be your friend, too. No matter what." She saw Danielle smile. "That's right. No matter how perverted you are. I'll always be your friend." That broke the tension and both girls laughed.
"So, like, you know what I'm trying to say?" Danielle asked.
"Well, if you're trying to say that you want to get in my pants, yeah. I got that idea a while back," Mac giggled. Then she got serious. "And it doesn't matter, Dannie. I'm not inclined in that direction, and I'm really sorry about that, but it doesn't mean that I'm not your best friend."
Danielle looked down sadly. "I know," she said glumly, "I'm so...I don't know...I can't fit in with anyone...especially girls that I..." she broke off, shook her head, then plunged in again.
"Oh goddammit Mac, can't you just kiss me?" she finally blurted out.
Mackenzie looked at her friend silhouetted against the beautiful sunset. The light seemed to radiate from her, and for some reason she just looked so...
"Oh what the hell," Mackenzie said, turning to face Danielle, "Do it." Danielle just gaped at her. "I mean it," Mac said firmly, "Go for it. Kiss me. We'd better get this out of our systems before we're roommates, don't you think?"
"Yes, I do," Danielle said, taking Mac in her arms. The first kiss was tentative, more like a quick peck. But the hug was deep, full and warm. The second kiss had more staying power, and the ones that followed definitely picked up steam. Eventually, Mac got into French kissing and surprised herself at how much she enjoyed it. Finally, they paused to come up for air.
"See," Danielle said triumphantly, "you do like it."
"Yes I do," Mac said, smiling. "The problem is that I like boys. A lot. Like really a lot."
Dannie giggled. "You're just one of those kind of girls, Mac. Boys are icky. You know they only want one thing."
Mac laughed. "Yeah," she replied. "And I want that too. It's pretty awesome, Dannie, you need to try it. You might be a convert."
"No fucking way," Danielle said with disgust. "The male animal is not made for me. I'll just wait until you see the light, Mac."
They hugged and headed back to campus. It had been a wonderful weekend for the girls. Mackenzie and Danielle had been the two stars of their high school hockey team and Mac had graduated last year. She was recruited to the college's women's hockey team and Danielle was set to follow her.
A knee injury in Danielle's senior season had led to a year off, and she decided to stay at home to work and rehab in familiar surroundings. She had fully recovered, though, and everything was set for her to start in the fall, so she came up to see a game and visit the campus.
All too soon, it was time for Danielle to head home. When they parted, the girls kissed again. "I love you," Danielle whispered in Mackenzie's ear. Mac just ruffled her hair gently.
"Take care, Dannie," she said. "Say hi to coach Ellen and your mom for me."
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"Thanks for everything, Ellen," Janice said. "You've been so...understanding and helpful with Dannie."
The coach smiled and took another sip of her wine. "Janice, it's not unheard-of that women athletes are attracted to other women. I understand that very well," she said simply.
"I never really thought about it in that way," Janice said. "I mean that's the stereotype, but..." her voice trailed off as she recalled sitting in the stands at one of the high school games and overhearing one young man referring to Danielle's team as the FLAs—Future Lesbians of America—to the uproarious laughter of his buddies. Knowing that Dannie was attracted to other girls more than boys had made that remark seem particularly cruel and hurtful.
Looking a bit sad, Janice continued, "...but I assumed that Dannie was just going through a phase. I mean, we all went through the phase of having crushes on our girlfriends...we just outgrow them eventually."
"Janice," Ellen said evenly, "most girls don't go through that phase." She looked directly at Janice before continuing, "and some of us never outgrow it."
"You mean that you..." Janice began.
"Yes. Of course," Ellen said simply. "I assumed that you knew."
"Well, um...I guess...I mean I've never seen you with...well, anyone, I guess," Janice responded.
"Janice, I'm not 'with' anyone at the moment," Ellen replied, "but that's not the point. I understand what Danielle is trying to cope with—and it can be very difficult for an 18-year old. It doesn't make it any easier that her closest friends are all involved with boys—she's always been the oddball socially. I just want you to know that I'll support her in any way that I can."
Janice reached out and squeezed Ellen's hand. "Thank you for that," she said sincerely, "It means a lot." Ellen turned her hand over and interlocked her fingers with Janice's. The contact was electric for both of them.
Janice couldn't understand what she was feeling. Yes, of course she was very grateful for the coach's support of her daughter. But there was more. The strong, even gaze—the lean, powerful body. Overall, a very commanding person...but still...a woman.
Janice felt as though she were under a spell. They were simply holding hands, but feelings that she had rarely experienced were surging through her. Her mind drifted back as she struggled to make sense of what she was feeling.
She had been divorced for several years. The marriage to Carl had been a mistake for both of them. She had loved him, but had never been "in love" with him. She didn't know if he had ever been in love with her, but he had been so nice and respectful that she could hardly say no when he proposed. Besides, everyone told her what a perfect man he was. She felt like she would have been making a huge mistake not to say yes...it would have been like passing up a once-in-a-lifetime deal.
In the marriage, he continued to be very nice and respectful. And boring. In every way. He was hardly a sex fiend, but their married life had got to the point that she dreaded the twice-a-week mating ritual. She could still remember how it always ended with him grunting like a rutting animal and her feeling violated. She wondered why some women seemed to enjoy it. In any case, she gravitated to a circle of friends who shared strategies for managing the problem of their husbands' desire for sex.
Once Danielle had got into high school, he had moved out and that was that. Her friends kept trying to set her up with dates, but she hadn't been interested. The guys were all depressingly the same. Besides, she had many friends, and enjoyed being around them. And she had learned that romance just wasn't for her...
...except now, her head was swimming and she felt like a school girl again.
"Earth to Janice, Earth to Janice, come in please," she heard Ellen's voice as if from a distance, calling her back to reality. Her voice had a magical lilt to it.
"I'm sorry...I think I was daydreaming," Janice said, blushing.
"That's ok," Ellen chuckled. "It's been a long day, and I think we're both tired. Shall we call it a night?"
As they stopped outside the restaurant to say goodbye, Ellen extended her hand. Janice grasped it, but then, impulsively, reached out to hug her. She caught herself in mid-hug, though, and stopped.
Ellen laughed again. "It's ok," she said lightly, "I don't bite." Seeing Janice still hesitating she continued, laughing, "and lesbianism isn't contagious, Janice. You won't catch any dyke cooties if you hug me."
Realizing how ridiculous she seemed, Janice gave in and wrapped her arms around Ellen. "Thanks again for everything," she said, squeezing the slender woman tightly.
Driving home, Janice couldn't get the memory of the physical contact with Ellen out of her mind. It haunted her even in her dreams.
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"So it sounds like it was a great trip," Janice said after hearing Dannie's excited account of her exploits. "You're still sure that's where you want to go."
"Oh yeah, mom. It's a beautiful campus and the team is amazing," her daughter replied excitedly, "and you know it's a great school...we couldn't afford it if I went on my own...and they've given me a scholarship."
Janice nodded. "I just want to be sure that you're not just going there because of...because of that girl." In spite of her best intentions, she almost spat out "that girl."
