Saturday night and there I was: dateless, watching my brother's kids so he and his wife could enjoy a night with friends. Now, mind you, I adore my two nieces. At four and six they're a handful at times, but I love them and they are fond of me as well.
I'd been able to get them to bed at a reasonable time and found myself sitting on the couch, flipping channels and feeling a bit sorry for myself. I sighed and got myself a drink, before flopping back on the couch again to watch a film I'd already seen a million times.
Normally my brother and sister-in-law wouldn't ask me to babysit. Usually they'd ask my parents, but they already had a birthday to go to and since "Anna's got nothing to do anyway," as my brother apparently had put it, they'd asked me. Besides, they'd be back late and would need me to stay the night.
Obviously, my brother and I aren't particularly close. He's the kind of guy that's successful at anything he does. He's got a good job, fancy car, nice house and a family.
I on the other hand, seem to have developed from a bit of a 'troubled' teenager into a 'troubled' twenty-something. Nothing too serious, but I wasn't the one coming home with straight A's and whereas my brother knew exactly what he wanted to be when he'd be all grown up, I still am clueless at times.
I don't mind that he's so successful; I do mind him rubbing that in every time we meet. Sometimes subtly, sometimes not so subtly.
I always thought I'd move out at an earlier age than he did. After all, I was so much more mature, right? Right. I was also sure I'd be married before he did. Never mind the fact that he's six years my senior. He and Linda got married well over seven years ago.
As for my love life: it's pretty much non-existent. I blended in quite nicely with the wallpaper all through my high school years. I'd hang out with friends, but was too shy to even try to hook up with boys. I was the kind of girl that would admire a guy from a safe distance. As a matter of fact, I didn't have my first date until I was well into college.
***
His name's Ben and he's a few years older than me. He'd always ride his bike to college and that's how we met as I would usually do the same. I'd gotten a flat that day and had to walk the rest of the way home. He saw me and slowed down to ask whether I had a flat as if that weren't obvious... He actually offered to fix it, but as I was nearly home, I told him that I would be alright. I remember his sweet smile and he kept me company until I was home: a room in a flat I shared with three other students.
We chatted and laughed and from that day on we regularly cycled together to and from college. After a month or so he asked me out on a date. I was thrilled! I know, I know. Most girls have there first dates when they're sixteen or so, but still, I was thrilled and yes, probably felt like a sixteen-year-old.
Our date took us to a nice little pizza place and to a movie. I don't remember the movie, I do remember Ben's arm around me as we sat in the back row. I'd never been on a date, never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. I was a bit nervous, not sure what he'd expect me to do, but I needn't have worried.
He pulled me close sometime halfway through the movie and he caressed my cheek as my head leaned against his shoulder. He bowed towards me and for the first time in my life I felt someone's lips touching mine. It seemed only natural to open my lips and I felt his tongue slipping into my mouth. It took me by surprise and initially I pulled back, but he'd placed a hand behind my head and gently pulled me closer again. His tongue started roaming my mouth and I started sucking it a bit.
I softly moaned when I felt his arm trying to pull me even closer while his right hand had moved under my blouse and was slowly feeling its way up to my left breast. I think I nearly whimpered when he cupped my breast and started squeezing it through the soft, cotton of my bra.
He started to lean into me, pushing me back into my chair. There weren't many people in the cinema and luckily, the arm rests could be put upwards. I felt Ben moving his weight onto me and his mouth covered mine once more. He slid his thumb under the wire of my bra. Stroking the skin of my breast. I moaned in his mouth and tried to move in a more comfortable position. He stopped kissing me and started to unbutton my blouse.
I quickly looked up to make sure no-one realised what we were up to. There were only a few other people in our row and well, let's say, that they were neither paying attention to us nor to the movie.
Ben unhooked my bra and pushed it upwards. My breasts were now exposed to him and he started to rub a thumb over the nipple of my left breast. I loved it, but I was still uncomfortable: my left knee was jammed against a chair in front of us and Ben had manoeuvred my other leg behind him. My right arm was stuck between me and the chair. With my left hand I reached for Ben and went through his short brown hair.
I was wearing jeans and regretted not choosing my only skirt. I was inexperienced with boys, but I was not unfamiliar with the signals my body started sending me. My heart was thumping and there was a throbbing between my legs.
"Oh Ben," I whispered and stifled another moan as he moved so that he could pay attention to my other breast. I pulled my right arm free and put it around him, pulling up his shirt. I loved the feel of his warm skin under my hand. I tried to move my lower body closer to him as well as I needed to feel him between my legs.
He licked and sucked my breasts before working his way up and plunging his tongue in my mouth again. He moved his hand to my butt, squeezing it. One of my hands was still in his hair, while I'd moved the other under his jeans, eager to feel his naked butt.
His hand moved to the front of my jeans and then between my legs. He groped roughly, knowing I wouldn't really feel a thing through the thick fabric. I bucked, raising my butt to meet his hand. I so wanted to feel him!
He muttered something under his breath and then whispered: "There's not enough room here. You wanna go?"
I was panting, trying to catch my breath. I looked up in his dark eyes and nodded. I quickly put my bra back on and buttoned up my blouse. I felt hot and brushed my hair out of my face. Ben took my hand and we left the cinema in a hurry.
The fresh air outside helped me to cool of a bit, but there was still the undeniable throbbing between my legs. We rushed to the parking lot, where Ben had parked the car he'd borrowed from his best friend. We got in and looked at each other. It was not nearly as dark as the cinema, but still, it was quiet and there weren't any cars parked near us.
"You want to, ehm, you know," Ben smiled, "Or do you prefer to go, you know, someplace else?"
I wasn't sure where else we could go. I shared a flat and so did he. Ben looked at me, then to back seat and back at me again. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question and I nodded. With some effort we climbed in the back seat.
Within seconds we were kissing again and he pushed my back on the seat. I breathed heavily as he pushed my legs apart and moved between them. I loved his weight on top of me and his hands on my body. He undid my blouse and bra and started sucking and massaging my breasts again. I pulled his shirt up and over his head. Oh, my gosh, his naked upper body felt so good against my skin! I put my legs around him and tried to push him downwards. Down to my tummy.
He got to his knees and looked at me as he undid my belt and then undid the button of my jeans and slowly zipped it open. I started wriggling, the throbbing between my legs had continued and I felt my pussy juices trickle down into my panties. I wanted to close my legs to stop the flowing, but Ben was between them. As if he knew this, he grinned at me and pulled off my jeans. Then he lay on top of me again, kissing my stomach and stroking my legs.
I thought I was going crazy! I wanted him to touch me and at the same time I felt a little bit embarrassed. I wanted to cover my pussy, though my panties were still doing that job for me. Ben stopped my hand from going down, putting his face between my legs instead. He smelled my damp panties and stroked my pussy through the cotton material. He worked a finger under the elastic and for the first time I felt another finger but my own touch the tender, wet spot between my legs. He stroked me and I felt my body responding by trying to push itself onto his finger. He teased me a bit like this, before getting back to his knees.
"Let's take those off, shall we?" he said and he took my panties and pulled them off my butt and slid them down my legs. I had to raise my legs in front of him in order for him to be able to do so. He stroked my legs and kissed my feet and the back of my knees.
Then he bent over again and put his face between my legs. I suddenly felt his tongue on my clit and moaned. With his hands he kept my legs firmly apart and he started licking my pussy. Lapping up my juices and poking with his tongue in my tight little hole. I writhed underneath him, pushing my pussy into his face and trying to wrap my legs around him. He rubbed my clit, while his tongue did those heavenly things. When he pushed a finger inside of me, I froze.
"Sorry," I whispered. He said it was OK. I tried to relax, but Ben already took care of that: he'd started to lick and suck again and as soon as my body relaxed he moved his finger out of my pussy. And immediately back in. He fingered me first slowly, but as my body responded by moaning and a sucking noise coming from my pussy he sped things up. I felt my body tremble and I grabbed hold of his hair, bucking and grinding into his face as his finger made me cum. I'm not a screamer. I moaned and begged him to fuck me and when I'd cum on his face he grinned at me, his face wet with my juices.
I felt great, though I was a bit embarrassed with my cum flowing out of me just like that. I'd love to say, that we made love after that, but we didn't. Though inexperienced I knew something wasn't right.
Ben got up and was pleased that he'd made me cum, but also seemed quite happy to leave it at that. We kissed some more and I stroked the front of his jeans and realised he wasn't hard. Now, this was my first time, so, maybe it had all been very hot for me and not at all for him, but that seemed odd, even to me.
I offered to try and give him a hand job, not that I'd done that before, but hey, my inexperience could be considered arousing to some, right? Ben just smiled and said that maybe it was time to go home. So we just sat quietly together for a little while before we called it a night.
I felt confused about our date. On the one hand it had been really, very good. On the other: I hadn't been able to turn him on. He assured me it was OK, that I shouldn't feel bad about it. That it was him, not me.
We'd still cycle to and from college together, but we didn't go on another date. It wasn't until half a year later, that Ben confessed that he was gay. He'd been trying to deny it for a long time. He'd loved to make me cum as I was a good friend and he wanted to make me feel good, but in order to feel that good himself, he really needed a man's touch. That man being his best friend. They've been together ever since.
I know this sounds cheesy, but we've become better friends, now that that's cleared up. Though there are still times that I wish he would've really been my first.
***
The movie on TV had ended. I hadn't seen much of it. Recalling my date with Ben, I had worked a hand inside my jeans and had made myself cum. I could smell and taste it on my fingers. I decided to go to bed. Leaving a light on for my brother and sister-in-law, I made my way upstairs and checked in on the girls who were still sound asleep.
I took a quick shower, put on clean panties and my nightie and then headed up the second flight of stairs to the top floor of the house where my brother has made a study and a spare bedroom. I'd made sure that both set of stairs had the low child safety gate in front of them, just in case either one of them woke up and decided to go for a wander.
I lay in bed and grabbed the book that I'd brought with me, but I just couldn't concentrate. My mind kept travelling back to my short time with Ben. I think I can honestly say that I love him. We've grown very close and he knows me better than anyone.
I turned on my back and stared at the ceiling. I sighed and put an arm over my face. It was just my luck to meet this amazing guy, get this amazing first experience just to find out that the guy is gay. And it's not like men are queuing up for a date with me.
My father's always more than happy to point out that my brother could have his pick. For some reason he was never without a date. My father also liked to point out that I was the exact opposite and that having a gay male friend wasn't exactly a boyfriend. Right. Like I didn't know that.
