Voices in My Head

I woke up to a slight head ache. The light streaming through the bed room window, normally muted, seemed unusually bright.

I was in my bed, but unsure about how I got here... my head felt fuzzy and a soft buzzing was in the back ground, like static or a dusty windshield, you could ignore it, but it did not go away just because you did.

The last thing I remembered was playing a pickup game of football in the park. The coach frowned on playing without pad and equipment because, God forbid, you could get injured and shit your whole future down the drain because of a stupid slip or wrong fall. (If it was up to him half the team would be put in cryogenic suspension during the summer and off season.)

School was just out so I had a couple of months with no organized practices... and I LIKE to play a fun pick up game.

While rubbing my eyes, trying to get adjusted to the bright light, in addition to the buzzing, a soft whisper began to assert itself...

{I hope he is feeling better. I can't, as much as I would like to, devote all day to waiting on him hand and foot. Groceries to buy, Jim's good suit has to go to the cleaners... and I have to stop by the pharmacy and renew his prescription for those little blue wonder pills.}

The whisper grew louder and at the same time I heard footsteps on the stairs.

{I will just peek in and see if he is still asleep.}

The door to my bedroom cracked open and my mother's red wavy locks broke the plane of wall and door, followed by her green Irish eyes and cute nose.

{Oh... he's awake}

And at the same time I heard, " Oh... you're awake"

What in the fuck was going on with my head?

{His room is always such a mess now and smells like an under arm. He used to keep it so nice and tidy... oh well, maybe I should take some time and clean it for him... }

She had moved into my room, looking around quickly... stopped, moved to the side of my bed then bent down to touch my forehead.

"How do you feel Jake?

{No fever... eyes look clear}

Mom leaned in very close. I started to pull back but was brought up short as I was already lying down.

{Eyes dilating... that's really good. Oh my poor baby, you need to be more careful}

She caressed my face, her hand moving from forehead to cheek.

"You gave us quite a scare there honey... but it looks like you're all better now."

{Football is going to be the death of him}

Two conversation were playing over themselves in my ears, I was hearing two things in her voice at the same time.

{He looks confused... }

"Do you remember hurting your head?"

Her hand got firm and grabbed my jaw, tuning my face to the side like I was three, then, gentle again she reached up to the upper right side, above and behind my ear. She probed gently but I flinched at the pain.

{Oh... damn... I did not mean to hurt him.}

You bumped your head at the park playing a game. Jackson brought you home. He was worried, said you hit the ground hard and got dazed, but everyone thought you were ok until you stated acting and talking weird

{I was so worried. Jim said no hospital even though I thought you might need a CAT scan. He can be an insensitive cheap prick sometimes.}

"I'm not sure I am alright yet mom... head feels a little weird."

"Oh you'll be up and out again in no time."

{Chasing the girls like you always have... and no wonder, you're big and strong and good looking... }

Mom's eyes darted down to my shoulders and bare chest.

{Oh Christ in a crisper! Knock it off you old fool... I need to go down stairs.}

I knew she was going to bolt, she did that often... one minute we would be talking, the next she was running to another room... she put her hand down to push off the bed but I grabbed her wrist, keeping her sitting.

{What?!!}

"Thanks mom... " I let go of her wrist and ran my hand up to her elbow.

{No!}

She scooted off the side of the mattress and away from my hand.

"... for always taking such good care of me."

As she stepped back I sat up, the sheet and covers falling off of me into my lap.

She took a deep breath and looked at the wall, exhaled and looked at me.

{Just relax Hanna... you are just going through some temporary hormone thing.... }

"It's what we moms do honey... we love you, I love you, so much... "

{Crap! I can't... }

"Mom... are YOU ok? You look kind of..."

She bolted for the door while saying, "Just rest Jake. Stay in bed for a while and I will call you down for breakfast."

And at the same time I heard her say,

{Oh shitshitshit! Don't look... please don't!}

I swung my feet off the edge of the bed and sat there as mom, I assumed, leaned against the wall next to my door. I could still hear her voice but it was not coming through the door or muffled by the wall. It sounded like she was whispering in my ear.

{I can not believe how crazy this is. Shit my nipples are so hard they hurt... you are such a bad mom Hanna Margaret! I can't do this here, I have to go to... ooo... so wet!}

What in Gods name was I hearing?

Foot steps retreated down the hall to my parents room.

The volume was down, the static almost swallowed it up but I could just make out,

{time to break out that rabbit.}

Too much information... my mom was going to go masturbate after being in my room... I could hear her thoughts in real time, as clearly as I could hear her voice. I bumped my head and got transported into another dimension... an alternate reality... had to be something like that.

I could not decide if it was more weird that I could hear her thoughts or that she was turned on by me. My big head was confused... my small head though... that was a slightly different matter... it knew exactly what it wanted, what it always wanted... big surprise. My boxers were tenting as I sat there.

6'4 and 200lbs of work and sports hardened muscles, plus the natural good looks I got from both parents I never have had a problem attracting girls that were ready and willing partners... but mom had always been a looker... as a kid I knew I had the best looking mom... all my friends were jealous but they all knew that my dad had her heart... how could it be any other way? They seemed like the perfect couple.

So... what was going on? I stood up and saw my reflection in the mirror. I was not unfamiliar with how I looked, but it struck me as pretty comical... 9 inches pushing at cotton that only had room for 6... and normally I would not be contemplating going out into the hallway, let alone approaching my mom's bedroom suspecting what I was suspecting. Crap... that was not a normal picture that came to mind as I thought about my mom, but ole one eye was about to bust its seems there was so much blood fighting to get in...

Stupid! I was being stupid... no way she was rubbing one out in the middle of the morning... she was down stairs making eggs and bacon and I was just going to embarrass myself. Well, I could always blame it on brain damage.

I opened the door and looked down the hall... that fucking buzzing was still there... I crept out and moved towards their door... I had not done anything like this since I was 10... a few more feet and I heard the whisper again...

{That's it Jim... you know how much I like it when you squeeze them... come on baby, grab them like you wanted them! Keep licking... make me cum like you used to honey... }

My hand had found my cock, it knew right were to find it... lots of practice in the dark... and I was stroking it slow and steady. Then there was no more from her.

"Ohhh Fuck! That's just not going to work!"

I heard the frustration in her voice for real...

(Come on now, you know what you have to do. Sorry Jim but maybe if you were more attentive, more like what you used to be... lets see... no... no... not you... nope... Carter? }

Carter? My dad's Jr partner?

{Fuck... alright Gina... you used to be able to twist me all up. }

Gina? My mom's best friend from grade school?

{Where is that other toy... there it is, ummmm, yeah that's it... feed me that hard cock Teddy while Gina eats me.}

Uncle Teddy? Dad's brother? She was fantasizing sucking uncle Teddy while being eaten by her friend Gina... when did my mom become such a slut?

{Fuck... its no use! }

"Nothing's working..." there were tears in her voice "I am so FUCKED!!"

I almost bolted back to my room, but I heard the overlaying whisper...

{You KNOW what will work! Yes... but... no buts. It's not real... its just make believe and you need... and it makes me feel dirty when I am done... I don't like tha... but so good while, and I need this...}

She was arguing with herself about something worse but that had worked before... what the fuck mom?

Yeah... you have room to talk, standing in the hall outside her room pulling on your own meat listening to your mom's private thought while you do it... real class there Jacob.

{Alright! Ok! Ohhh yeah, that's good honey, don't be so gentle, I'm plenty ready for you... }

Good she was back to Dad again...

{Yes... pound it in... no, I won't turn back over, I can't look at you, just fuck me! Oh baby, yes, like that... pull my hair, I won't kiss you, I can't Jake! Just fuck me hard... }

"Ooooooooooo.... Yeeesssssssss... that's.... Right... dump that cum in your nasty mom! Fuuuuuccccckkkk!!!"

I had blown a nut as she came and it was all over the hardwood floor as I stood there trying to quietly catch my breath. Nothing to wipe it up with... what a fucking moron I was. I stripped out of my boxers and wiped it up as best I could, maybe she would not notice... I could blame it on the dog except we don't have a dog.

Oh Hanna... that was good, I really needed that.

{Jim, you fuck... I wish you knew what you were missing... you used to be so good to me... we were good together... now I am reduced to fucking myself with plastic cock while thinking about my almost grow son. Shit! What am I coming to?

Well hell... I told him I would get him some breakfast, I need to go do that. I will clean all of this up later.}

I hot footed it quietly back to my room, tossed the boxers in the corner and hoped back in bed. About 3 minutes passed before she came out of her bedroom. I heard her bare feet softly on the hardwood floor...

{A woman's work is never done... I thought I mopped this floor just the other day but Jim spilled something sticky on is already... }

She stopped in front of my door.

{Should I check on him again? Just a peek, I won't knock in case he is sleeping... }

I don't know why I did it... oh yes I do, who am I kidding. I pretended to be asleep, after kicking the sheet off of one leg and pulling it tight across the other one making sure my still half stiff cock was covered but outlined.

The door squeaked then stopped.

{Wait... maybe I can just peek around... oh my... shit shit shit... Hanna... but it's so... HE is so handsome... where is a camera when you need one. This is a picture I could sell to a few people, Betty, Trish... but I would only show it to them to brag...}

I could not help it, even though I had just erupted, my cock swelled a bit and twitched under the sheet. Her breath caught...

{Ummm ummm umm... gotta go.

Fodder for another time.}

15 minutes and I could smell the bacon. I got up and dressed in a tee shirt and shorts, brushed my teeth and hair, and bound down the stairs like a "herd of thundering elephants"...

"Just in time Jake... "

She turned as I went towards her.

"It looks good!"

{Ooo, so do you... Jesus Hanna... }

She turned back to the stove, so I stepped around and slipped my arms around her small waist, put my chin on the top of her head and said, "Wow mom... you smell really great..."

{Oh. My. God!}

"Is that a new perfume? I really like it." I hugged her, pulling her back into me. "You should wear it more often."

I let go of her after doing my best to let her feel my cock against her, and turned to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "I am staved... you should sit down and have some too."

{SHIT! He smelled sex on me and liked it! It's wrong and gross but then why am I blushing and can hardly function. }

"No Jake, I ate earlier with your Father before he went to work. And I only made enough for you. Besides, I have been idle too long the morning, lots of work to do... {like mopping the upstairs hallway and washing all of my toys...} things to straighten up all over."

She set a plate in front of me, piled with scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. I took her hand and stopped her mid turn. She looked back at me wrinkling her brow.

"You know... women used to sit and watch their men folk eat... " I was already making eye contact but I narrow my eyes a little, her eyes got big and her eyebrows arched... "I could make you..." Her breath caught. "Maybe one day I will..." I dropped her hand as if it meant nothing and nothing had passed between us... "But not today.. not this this time"

{What?}

I dove in like I had not eaten in days.

Mom caught herself staring, a hand went to her face, and she began to breath again...

{i...}

She shuffled two steps to the sink and leaned against it.

{My knees are so weak... and oh my god, my vagina is so wet its leaking.}

I stopped stuffing my face and took a deep breath.

"That perfume is really great... you really should wear it all the time."

{This is too much.}

A few more bites and I had inhaled everything but the glaze on the plate. I stood up and pushed away from the table in one movement, and headed for the back door.

"I am going to go down to the mall and see who is hanging out... in your mad rush to clean, don't worry about my room... I was thinking of giving it a good scrubbing this afternoon... "

As the door slammed behind me I heard a thump as her feet hit the stairs on her way back to her bedroom...

This is going to be fun I think. I wonder if... and just then our neighbor Mrs. MacDonaldson walked out of her side door and saw me.

{There is Jake... what a treat to see him every day now that school is out... maybe I can get him to come by and cut my grass and trim my hedge... ooo that sounded deliciously wicked just now...}

I waved to her.

{Ooo, he saw me watching him... such a nice young man...}

Well now I know that I can hear more than just mom's voices in my head... maybe that is the static I hear constantly... voice in the back ground too far away to hear.

I thought about my mom, concentrating, trying to hear her over the din, or pick her out... no luck.

{He seems to have forgotten something... he is so cute when he is concentrating...}

The short walk to the local strip mall was confusing and educational.

I am hearing everyone's inner voice. I can't stop it... when I first hear it I can not tell who is saying what... if I recognize someone that I am hearing, as in see them and know them, then all of a sudden it sounds like them instead of some monotone drone... then, if I hear them again, even if I can not see them, the voice is in their voice... people I do not know stay monotone even if I see who they are, but if I hear words spoken then their thoughts sound like them from then on... weird, but helpful. The crowd at the mall got overwhelming very quickly and even though a friend waved at me I had to retreat away from the crowd to be able to hear myself think.

I don't know what I was going to do... this is crazy, but I have always found that practice makes a thing easier to do... maybe I could figure out how to control this with some time and practice... little bits at a time.

I went to a small park where there were not very many people instead of a shopping center with so many. Multiple voices started in on me as I approached.

Cars were a weird thing, incomplete thoughts moving in and out so fast...

Once I got settled on a bench I tried to relax, to breathe, to close my eyes and dim the back ground noise down... that did not work at all... so I opened them again and began to focus on individuals... the more attention I paid the more refined my "antenna" or "receiver" became attuned to that individual. Less static, more clarity. I was at first amazed at the banality of thoughts running trough the minds of the average person, tunes running on repeat over and over, compiling lists of groceries to get and wrongs to avenge. It took me a while to figure it out, but I also discovered that I can not hear the movies that play in people's brains... their daydreams or pictures that play out, all I can hear is the conversations that they hold with themselves... the running commentary.

I think the movies, the day dreams, would give me more entertainment, maybe more detail, absolutely more context, but for now, that was beyond my skill. Skill? Yeah... I am getting better at it so yes... a skill.

Now... how do use this to my advantage without stepping on my dick...

Over the course of the next few days I realized that my mom thought about sex every bit as much as my dad, but he thought she was oversexed but boringly predictable... she thought he was losing his drive and maybe it was her fault.

I dropped little hints but both or them thought I was too young to understand the complexities of their long standing relationship. I decided to not try to play cupid with my parents.

I also found out that my best friend, Jackson wanted to fuck my girl friend, he thought she was too good for me, but did not know how to make it happen without jeopardizing our friendship.

My girl friend Janice really liked being my girl friend for the popularity it added to her, and thought sex with me was really good, but wondered if Jackson was bigger than me, and how much bigger, considering the stories she had heard about black men vs white. Janice was also attracted to girls as long as they did not compete with her for what she wanted... she was much more adventurous minded than I had ever thought she was... and wanted sex much more often than I thought girls wanted anything except shopping.

One of the hardest parts of hearing what people talked to themselves about was not reacting to those thoughts as if I had heard them. Most of the time they were just selling themselves "wolf cookies" trying to gin up courage that they did not feel, or trying to save face with themselves rather than admit that they dared not say or do what they thought about saying or doing, at least not to my face. I was getting an education about people, learning things that I was not sure I wanted to know.

In trying to encourage mom, I went out of my way to compliment her appearance. When she put on a little extra makeup or a new dress or did her hair a little different, wondering if anyone would notice, I made sure to let her know that someone had, that it was worth doing and she was not wasting her time. It might have been why she picked up a new bathing suit... a one piece, but cut much more risqué than she would normally do. She told herself it was to entice my father, but secretly she admitted that she hoped everyone noticed and thought sexy thoughts about her.

Saturday late morning I was headed out to the pool to get some swimming in, and catch some sun... I walked though the kitchen as mom was heading up stairs...

{Oh my... Jim, you used to look like that and my stomach would flip for you instead of your son...}

"Enjoy the Pool Jake. Anyone coming over to swim with you?"

"Nope. Why don't you go get that new suit you bought and come spend some time outside?"

{I don't dare}

"No one will be there..."

{YOU will be there}

"but the two of us and you can see how well it works with no risk."

{Ha!}

"No... I think I may go upstairs for a while... " {I have a good view of the pool from my bedroom window.} "It's been a while since Janice came for a swim, you should invite her..." {then at least I can WATCH someone get really well fucked... you two were quite a pair out there the last time she was here.}