There is a belief in India, even now, among burglars that the possession a cloth stained by virginal blood would help them opening any impossible lock.
*
Beyond the vastness of the harvested fields, on the eastern horizon, appeared stealthily a tint of red arc, but soon expounded itself into a huge orb of bright orange. Birds started testing the melodies of their own voices. The color of the rising sun and the sweetness in the air borne voices implied a fortunate omen.
A jeep approached through the country road, raising dusts.
I was steering my flock through the same country road, on the opposite direction, for grazing. A shepherdess I was. The jeep slowed down and halted, with its engine idling. Only a tight space was left between the jeep and the edge of the road. So narrow was the road. Through that tight space all my sheep passed on to the other side, but I slipped. And there started down a deep slope from where I slipped. A strong arm scooped me up. I was stunned not by the shock of my near slip but by the handsomeness of a young man, face to face. The driver of the jeep.
He was in a sleeveless shirt. My thin torso was in the crease of his muscled arm. With his arm around, my heart started throbbing like his idling engine. I blushed. He lowered me to the ground and said, "Paappaa, paarththup poa (little girl, go carefully)"
His tone was obviously kind, but I got annoyed. I was not a little girl. I had attained my puberty. I was 18 years old and even voted in that year's general election. It was all the fault of my parents. They didn't celebrate my puberty function. The girl, when her first menstrual blood appeared, would be kept aside for a month in a fresh palm-leave hut, made by her maaman (mother's brother), and fed with sweetmeat and nourishing food to develop her boobs like tender coconuts, buttocks like watermelons, thighs like banana trunks and vulva like a buttered bun. And at the end of the month, the whole village and all other relatives and friends of other places would be invited for her 'pooppunitha neeraattu vizha (flower's sacred bathing festival)'. Thus it would be made known to the whole world that the girl is ready to have a mate.
My parents didn't perform all those nice things on me, because they were poor. And I remained literally a little girl to the outer world. And now this stupid driver also ignored me on that line. He moved away his jeep without even caring to know my feelings. Bitter tears, out of frustration, rolled down my cheeks.
One must get attention, after all. Without due recognition, one would be worth nothing but a dead person. I longed to get some attention.
* * *
Grazing my flock through the harvested fields, I reached the riverbank by noon. My sheep eagerly ran down toward the stream and quenched their thirst. There was a grand banyan tree on the bank of the river. It was its fruiting season. Lot of birds flocked the tree in incessant chattering. I gathered my sheep under the cool shade of that tree.
Leaving them there I went back to the stream. I stripped myself naked. It was not my wont to take bath naked in public places, but on that day I didn't care. I wanted to show whatever I had to whoever happened to come that way. But the sure thing was that nobody would come that way, by that time, but for my mother carrying my midday gruel.
I surveyed my nakedness. Small breasts, each in two steps: the base was of the size of a halved komettik kaai (a bitter fruit) and another step of the size of a small halved lemon, topped with a pepper size nipple. My cunt was a narrow triangle, barely covered with a soft moss of pale hairs and the cleft started well up on the little mound, presenting the shiny lips exposed.
I dived into the water and swam awhile enjoying my arrogance in presenting my nakedness to the open world.
Getting out, I dried and dressed myself with the same dress in an unhurried manner. Soon as I completed my clothing, suddenly from nowhere, my father appeared with my midday gruel can. I was surprised.
Ancestors of my father were well to do, I was told. Only my father made our life miserable because of his laziness. He was a thief indeed. Half of his life spent in lock-ups and prisons. When he was out, he would dress in spotless white and white and spend in excess. My father and me, we don't talk much.
"Your mom's not fit, so I brought you the gruel." He explained. I took the container and emptied it in silence. Meantime my father spread his whitish towel on the ground, lay down and started sleeping. That was typically my father: no work; no worries. I washed the container and then settled on the shade, turning my back to my father. By then I observed a disturbance in the flock. A ram started chasing a ewe, babbling.
I had seen those things earlier, but on that particular day it was too much for me to cope with. I turned behind and observed my father. With a forearm over his eyes, he was fast asleep. His chest's raising and falling was slow. I pulled my skirt up and put my hand in between my thighs. I pressed my middle finger into the folds of my cunt. Immediately it was bathed by my cunt juices. I tried to insert the finger into my slot, but it was not going. There was an obstruction. Where from the juices comes out then? I tried with my little finger. Ah, it could find the way!
I perspired and sighed while my little finger was moving fervently in and out of my lava hole. Then there...oh...I shivered. Something was moving up my legs. I had completely forgotten the presence of my father. It was his hand. I stilled in shock.
My father was fumbling up my thighs. I couldn't decide what to do. Before I decided, his thick fingers were at the lips of my cunt. My thighs opened up a little to give him access. I was shell shocked to realize my reflex. Immediately I closed my thighs. His fingers got entrapped in between. He didn't give up. He teased the wet lips of my cunt with his fingertips. I couldn't bear with the sensation. Eventually I gave up my resistance. He tumbled me backward, over him, and ran another hand over my breasts. My breasts were soft a while ago, but now under the touch of his hands they became taut.
My father got up and lifted me up on his arms and carried me into the sheep. He made some space among the sheep and laid me there on his white towel. The surrounding sheep got up on their fours and made a cover. My father unhooked my blouse and exposed my breasts. He cupped them in his big hands and started kneading. My body heated up and I arched myself into his hands. While kneading one he sucked the other. He took an entire breast into his mouth. I drifted up. I was no more a little girl. I felt like a big woman.
My father moved his free hand down and pulled away my skirt. Then he cupped my cunt and rubbed it with his palm. Heat emanated from my pleasure mall, scorching his palm and, at the same time, soothing with its juices. With half closed eyes I was pushing up my cunt against his rubbing palm. He tried to poke in a finger, but could not. He trailed down. His mouth replaced his hand at my cunt. Oh, God! I opened wide my thighs and raised my hips. His soft tongue was ploughing through the seams of my cunt lips. He slurped and nibbled at my clit. I became mad. Thrusting my cunt at his face I pulled out his hairs. Raising me thus to a fever pitch, he passed on to...
...the next phase. He removed his dhoti and underwear. His huge cock was standing in attention. It was as thick and long as a firewood log. I had never imagined a male organ would be so big. A fear came over me. And a fascination too. Moreover I was eager to experience. So I drooled in expectation. He hovered over me. I opened up for him. He placed the big mushroom head of his cock at my little gate. The head nuzzled against my wetness. Its shear heat and contact made me insane. I rubbed my cunt against it. He forced it at my entrance. Only a big NO. His cock is not my little finger. He backed off, but I became restless. Madly I wanted him in. He spat on his palm and oiled his cock-tip with it. So he hadn't given up. He held my buttocks, lifted my hips and spat into my cunt hole too. Then, squatting, he raised my legs and placed them on his shoulders. Taking his hands around my thighs and under my armpits, he held me by my shoulders and locked me up, his cock-tip being already at its target.
There descended an uneasy calmness in the air. The birds stopped their chattering. The sheep, on their feet, looked at us quizzically. A lone cloud stood still above the motionless tree head.
Then it happened. A fierce spear pierced into me. A long wailing broke out of me. The sheep fled in terror. The birds took to their wings so noisily. The tree-head swayed violently as if in a storm.
Very sharp pain it was. I tried to wriggle out, but his arm-prick-lock was solid. "Vidungappaa enne vitrungappaa (leave me, dad, please let me go)," I begged him in tears, but the bastard thief was not in a mood to heed. "Inthaa avvalavuthaan, ippo aayidum (that's all, it'll be over now)" was his answer. Mercilessly, he started moving his monster in and out. I had no other choice than crying silently.
A few minutes after I felt better, but then the monster spewed lava in my depth. He unlocked his grip and lowered my legs. His big thing slipped out. I got up on my shaking legs. Then I noticed it: a large wet red spot on the whitish towel. My virginal blood.
Allowing me to take rest, my father drove out the flock for afternoon grazing. The pain was subsided soon and I felt somewhat relieved. Whatever happened was a dream, I thought, or nightmare?
In the twilight, my father returned with the flock and I followed him homeward.
* * *
For the next few days we didn't share a single word. And one night I waked up to notice the back door of our house creaked and my father slipping out. I got up immediately and followed him. By that time he was away by a good distance. Our house was on the periphery of our village. He was walking through the fields. The moon was up. I hurried in a short run and got up with him.
"Where are you going?" I stopped him.