Unfinished Family Business

I’d been nervous for the entire ten hour trip home, but as the cab made the turn into my parents’ neighborhood my anxiety kicked into overdrive. I hadn’t been home for the entire four years I’d been in the service and wasn’t convinced that my homecoming was going to be a friendly one. After all, my father hadn’t spoken more than two words to me in all that time, except to tell me how disappointed he was in me. Dad was a “my way or the highway” kind of guy through and through and when I told him I was quitting college after my freshman year to join the Marines it definitely was

not

his way. According to Dad’s plan I should be done school by now and ready to join the family business. Instead I was freshly home from Iraq with no idea what I wanted to do next.

I paid the driver and humped my duffle up the long driveway leading to the house. Dad’s house. He’d designed it and his company had built it. It was his house in every way, something he never let any of us forget. There was a moment of fear just before I rang the bell and I thought about turning back. I hoped Dad wasn’t home from work yet so I wouldn’t have to face him right away. I wanted some time to acclimate to my home again. Besides it would be nice to talk to Mom and Gwen before the drama started.

The moments between when I rang the bell and I heard the lock turn stretched into hours. The heavy timber door swung silently inward on well oiled hinges and framed in the doorway was my mother.

“Tony!” Mom shouted, rushing forward to pull me into a crushing embrace. I clutched my mother against me and suddenly I was happy to be home. Since I’m a couple inches over six feet and nearly a foot taller than her Mom had to stand on her tiptoes, despite her heels. I started to think she’d never let me go when she pushed me out to arms length to give me the once over. “Look how strong and mature you are.”

“Thanks Mom.” I was in my full dress uniform and I have to admit to being a Marine has whipped me into shape. I’d never been a little guy, but the service took a lazy kid who was soft in the middle from too much drink and turned him into a proud, hard bodied fighting machine. The last time Mom saw me I also had thick brown hair falling in my face and now that mop was trimmed into a neat flat top.

“You look so different.”

“But you look exactly the same.” It wasn’t insincere flattery, Mom really didn’t look like she’d aged a day in the past four years. Strike that, she really looked like the last fifteen years had touched her. Only faint laugh lines betrayed and a hint of crow’s feet testified she was over forty. Actually she just almost fifty, but her perfectly coiffed honey blonde hair wasn’t touched by gray and her finger was nearly as trim as it had been when Mom was a twenty-five-year-old beauty queen. My mother was considered quite the catch back then and my mother, just a working class guy, had been bold to go after her. She was a just fuller in the hips and her breasts were bigger after two pregnancies, but that only made her look womanlier. It might seem weird that I would notice my mother’s body like that, but honestly I’d never given it a second’s thought until I’d overheard my friends talking in the backyard as a teen.

Five or six friends were over to use the pool and they thought I was inside helping Mom bring some drinks out. I was about to step out onto the deck when I caught part of their conversation. One of my friends said, “Did you get a look at that rack?” There was giggling and another added, “How could we miss it? Damn, if Mrs. DiAngelo was my mom I’d still be breastfeeding.” And yet another commented, “Don’t forget her sweet ass, dude.” I wanted to rush out there and punch all of them as they went on and on about how hot my mother was, but I wasn’t just red from anger. I was embarrassed too. My mother was not a sexual being to me. I didn’t think I could ever face them again knowing my friends thought of my mother that way. I turned around to go back into the house and nearly ran into Mom. She just managed not to spill the tray she was carrying down her front and told me to open the sliding screen door for her. It was like cold water was thrown in my face and I was suddenly awake. Mom was wearing a black one piece bathing suit, nothing too provocative for her son’s teenaged friends, but I wanted to yell at her to cover up. Unfortunately it wasn’t just because my friends were checking her out every chance they could, but because I was noticing her curves now too. Mom did have an awesome body. Her ass was nice and round and her breasts strained against her swimsuit, which did nothing to hide how fat her nipples were. Those nipples that had nourished me. I felt my fifteen-year-old erection coming to life and I had to dive into the pool and hide until I got it under control. That night when I beat off I struggled to keep my mind on the hot girl who was my latest crush. Over time I came to terms with the fact that I had a sexy mom and was able to push it to the back of my mind.

“Why are you just standing outside?” Mom asked. I picked up my bag and crossed the threshold into the house.

“Is Dad home?”

“No, he’ll be at the office until late.” Of course he wouldn’t break his work schedule just because I was coming home from a war. “But Gwen is upstairs and she’s dying to see you.” Mom called out for my sister while I set my duffle down at the bottom of the stairs.

There was no way the tall, athletic blonde who came bounding down the stairs could possibly be my little sister Gwen. She launched herself at me from the bottom step and almost sent us both sprawling as she wrapped her arms around me. The last time I saw Gwen she’d been a gawky, coltish fourteen-year-old, all skinny legs and messy hair, more likely to be found climbing trees and starting fights that experimenting with makeup. Now she was a beautiful young woman, not an awkward tomboy. I held Gwen tightly and didn’t let her go until she complained she couldn’t breathe.

“Look at you, Mr. Serious Military Man,” Gwen said.

“Well look at you too,” I replied, still stunned by the change in her. She was wearing barely decent low-rise jeans and a tight baby-T that showed off how much she’d grown and also a gem in her bellybutton. I couldn’t believe Dad didn’t have something to say about her running around dressed like that. Her eye shadow and shiny lip gloss was proof that she’s discovered makeup and probably boys. “What happened to my little roughhouse sister?”

“She discovered boys,” Gwen answered, “but don’t worry, I can still give it as good as I get.” “You have to fill me in on everything that’s been going on.” When I’d first left Gwen and I were in constant touch through email, but over the last couple years our emails had dropped off as the concerns of being a teenaged girl had taken more of her time.

“No, first he has to get unpacked and you both have to get cleaned up. We’re meeting your father for dinner at the club this evening.”

“What’s wrong with what I have on?” I asked, though I knew the answer.

“I don’t think the first time your father sees you should be in uniform. Sorry, honey, but you need to give him time to come around.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“He will.”

Gwen, God love her, tried to cut the tension. “What’s wrong with what I have on?”

“You know very well, young lady. You can find something more appropriate.”

I went through my duffle and the best I could manage for the evening was a pair of khakis and a polo shirt, both in desperate need of ironing after their transatlantic journey. I tried steaming them while I took a much needed hot shower and that at least worked out the worst of the wrinkles. Mom looked perfect, as always, in a pale skirt that fell to just above the knees and a matching blouse, but I wasn’t sure that Gwen’s choice of outfit was any better than what she’d been wearing before. She’d traded her jeans and t-shirt for khaki skirt that was too short and tight, which went with her skintight pink polo, which barely hid her bejeweled bellybutton. On the surface it was a nice preppy outfit, but it was really the sexed up equivalent of one. It seemed my sister had become a girl of many looks, all of them designed to attract attention. Mom gave Gwen a disapproving look, but as Gwen had waited until the last minute to come downstairs there was no time for her to change into something else. We all hopped into the Land Rover and it was off to the club.

The Lancaster Country Club was everything you’d expect of an organization in which half the members could trace their lineage back to Colonial times. While my mother’s blood was definitely blue enough for membership, my father was a working class, self-made man who at times seemed to be trying just a bit too hard to fit in. Dad was determined to prove that he was just as good as any of those old money types. His sense of unease had somehow been passed down to me and even coming to the club now, years later, I didn’t feel comfortable. All that needless opulence seemed even worse to me after the things I had seen in the Middle East.

“I see the big war hero has come home,” said Mrs. Wellbourne, one of my mother’s friends. When she came close to give me a kiss I could see that she’d gone under the knife and it had left her with a somewhat startled expression. She left a smudge of garish pink lipstick on my cheek as we tried to move on.

“He just arrived home today,” Mom said, looking past the woman in search of my father. Mom seemed just as tense as I was about how the evening was going to go. We were trying to make our way toward the patio on the rear of the old manner house that served as the primary clubhouse, but Mrs. Wellbourne seemed determined to slow us down.

“You’ll have to come over later and tell us just how ghastly things are over there.”

“Uhm, sure,” I mumbled. Gwen spotted a girlfriend and thankfully dragged me away.

“Diana!” Gwen called out to a blonde chatting up a preppy football player type. Diana? That couldn’t be Diana Lansdale, could it? She was one of my sister’s oldest friends.

“Is that who I think it is?” The perky blonde said, as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. “Tony DiAngelo?”

I made a show of checking my dog tags and said, “According to the Marine Corps that’s who I am and you know the government is never wrong.”

“It’s so cool you’re finally home,” Diana said, giving me a big hug. She held onto me for a long time, which I didn’t mind at all. Diana had grown up to be a pretty hot babe. She and Gwen could have been twins, except that Diana’s body was curvier than my sisters and I knew that Diana’s blonde locks were the product of a bottle. She was dressed similarly to Gwen too, although her outfit wasn’t quite so formfitting.

Diana’s friend obviously thought our hug was going on too long because he stepped forward and offered one of his big hands. “Tony, this is Chad Wellington.” Chad tried to impress me with what he thought was a firm handshake, but which wasn’t.

“Hi Chad,” I said, somewhat warily. The way Diana was gazing up at me I was sure that she was using me to make this side of beef jealous and I didn’t feel like being drawn into someone else’s drama.

“How are things over there?” Chad asked. “I’m considering doing ROTC at Stanford this fall. I can’t imagine the rush of being over there in the shit.”

“It’s pretty much what you’d expect, bullets whizzing past your head isn’t very fun or exciting. There are better ways to get an adrenaline rush.”

“I’m not sure I’ll have time in my schedule anyway. I’m going to be pre-law.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I failed to be properly impressed.

“You have to promise we’ll catch up,” Diana insisted. “I want to hear about everything.”

“As soon as I am done with him,” Gwen said. “He is

my

brother, after all.”

“I’m sure you have mucho bonding to do.”

“I promise you my undivided attention,” I said, mostly because I knew it would bother that tool Chad.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Diana gave me another generous hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Gwen and I picked our way over to the bar, where I ordered a beer and to my surprise my little sister ordered a Cosmo. She noticed my reaction and told me, “I’m an adult now.”

“Just barely.”

“But I am eighteen.”

“And not twenty-one.” She looked all serious for a moment and I flashed a smile, letting her know I was just yanking her chain.

“You don’t want me to grow up, just like Daddy.”

“It’s a little late for that. I’m just sorry that I did miss you growing up. Speaking of which, do you always dress like that?”

“No, not always. I have lots of other cute little outfits, too. I refuse to be a slave to one look. I could be Little Miss Suburbia today and something entirely different tomorrow. It keeps life interesting.”

“You must be beating the boys off with a stick.”

“Only certain boys. Boys like Chad, for example. I have no idea what Diana sees in that fool. Well, I guess I do, but still.”

“Come on, take it easy on me. I only just got back. I wasn’t expecting you to be so…grown up. I guess I’m going to have to work on my threatening act.”

Gwen linked her arm through mine. “It’s so sweet that you want to protect me, but don’t worry. I never find more trouble than I can handle. I’m not an innocent little girl anymore.” Why didn’t that comfort me?

“I guess you’re not. I don’t know why I thought I would come back and find you exactly the same.”

“In overalls and pigtails? You’ve changed and I’ve changed too.”

“Yes you have,” I said wistfully. I should have been there when she went through being a teenager. A girl needs a big brother. But she seemed to have come through fine without me. Maybe that’s what really bothered me. We’d always been so close before I left and I hoped we could pick up where we left off.

“I think I turned out pretty darn good.”

I kissed her forehead and told her, “I’m sure you have. I can’t wait to get to know you all over again.”

“Here comes Mom.” Gwen downed her drink and set the empty glass on a table before Mom reached us, but I know she still saw it.

“Could you try to behave just for tonight please?” Mom scolded Gwen. “I don’t need you provoking your father on top of everything else.”

We were shown to a table in the corner of the expansive patio, which was good if there was a scene when Dad showed up, though I didn’t think that was very likely. Scenes just didn’t happen at the club and I suspected that was the reason we were dining there. I wondered what was keeping Dad, but it turned out that we didn’t have to wait much longer for the great man.

“Darling,” Mom said when Dad found us, a highball already in his hand. He kissed her cheek and looked over at us kids with disapproval. He picked on Gwen first.

“With all the money you spend on clothes, can’t you find anything that fits?” He grumbled.

Gwen smiled sweetly and replied, “But you want me to fit in with all the other girls, don’t you Daddy? I could always go back to climbing trees and playing with boys.”

Dad ignored her and turned to me. “Good to see you again, Tony.” That was all he had to say to me and he sat down for dinner.

Mom made several attempts at small talk throughout dinner, but as much as Gwen and I tried to help her my father just refused to be engaged by his family. When the meal came to a merciful close Dad instructed Mom to take Gwen home and said that I would be riding with him. Here it comes, I thought.

Mom and Gwen both hugged and kissed me before departing, with my mother gently reminding me to “stay respectful.” Gwen wished me luck. I followed Dad outside and wasn’t surprised when the valet brought around a brand new Cadillac sports coupe. We hit the road and the silence in the car was so oppressive that I wanted to scream when Dad finally spoke.

“There are some things we need to clear up now that you’re home.”

“I want you to know that none of my decisions have been because of you,” I said, taking a conciliatory tone. “I didn’t know where I fit in here and I felt like I had to go out and find out what life was about for myself.”

“Of course it had to do with me. You’re my son. You have my name and with that comes certain expectations. You have family obligations.”

“But what if I don’t want your life?”

“That life has made you and your sister pretty comfortable.”

“I know, but I don’t think the family business is for me.”

He shook his head. “Do you know what I would have done to be given an opportunity like the one you’re so intent on throwing away? My father worked in a defense factory until it killed him. I came from nothing and built everything I am from scratch. No one offered me any breaks.”

“Maybe I want the same chance to build who I am. Isn’t life about making your own choices?”

“Choices? I didn’t have any choices. I worked so hard because I had to. It was my only option. If I didn’t go and grab what I wanted in life I’d have nothing. I had a family to think about. But you don’t have to do all of that.”

It’s really funny how much like my Dad I really am. But he just can’t see it. I only wanted the same freedom he’d had as a young man, but he didn’t want to give it to me.

“I built all of this for my family. I did it so my son would have something to call his own someday, so he wouldn’t have to squander his youth kissing the asses of small men.”

“I appreciate that, Dad. But I…”

“You don’t appreciate it all. What do you propose I do with everything I’ve built? Hand it off to strangers when I retire? What if something were to happen to me? You don’t expect your mother to take over, do you?”

“Nothing’s going to happen to you, Dad.” It bothered me that he dismissed my mom so easily. I knew she would be more than capable of taking things over if she had to. She is far from helpless. I also resented the fact that he was so openly trying to manipulate me. “And if something did happen I would be there for Mom and Gwen. I wouldn’t let them down.”

“Like you have been for the last four years? I love your sister dearly, but Gwen is a handful, always finding trouble. I can’t help but think that if her older brother had been there to offer some guidance she might be different.”

“That’s not fair. You’re the reason I haven’t been around. You made it perfectly clear that while I stayed in the Marines I wasn’t welcome in your house. Christ Dad, most people would be proud if their kid went off to serve his country.”

“But you’re meant for better things, Tony. You made your choice, don’t blame me for the consequences of your actions.”

We continued in the same vein for the rest of the drive home, but it was pointless since neither of us was prepared to give any ground. We weren’t going to reach a resolution on our own. Dad shut off the car in the driveway when we got home, but he didn’t get out.

“If you’re planning on sticking around you have some decisions to make.” Dad said.

“I know that.”

“If you’re going to stay under my roof you have to live up to your responsibilities.”

“I just need to think about things, Dad. I need time to figure out what I really want.”

“You have some time, but not forever. You’re a man now and you need to start behaving like one.”

Things with Dad went pretty much how I expected, although I was surprised that he was prepared to give me some time to decide what I was going to do. I was sure I would get an ultimatum tonight to either do what he wanted or to leave immediately. I was totally flustered and needed someone to talk to, but when I went looking for Gwen she wasn’t anywhere to be found. I sat on a lounger by the pool in the dark, alone with my thoughts.

I had been so sure I was ready to chart my own course, but the things Dad said had gotten to me. Was I stupid to refuse what was being offered on a silver platter? How many struggling young men would have killed to be offered a position at a multimillion dollar company? And did I feel a responsibility to keep things going? God forbid something did happen to Dad, who would watch out for Gwen and Mom? I knew if I turned my father down this time I would be walking away from everything forever. Was I prepared to do that? Now that I’d seen the world I had a better appreciation for what I would be giving up. I couldn’t just turn my back on my mom, which is what I would be doing because I knew that as much as she loved me she would stay loyal to my father.