"How would you like to have an end-of-semester mini-vacation like we did last year?" my big brother asked me as soon as I had entered the house.
"Back to Little Tokyo?" I asked. "Back to the hotel? That sounds good."
"Better," he replied with a grin, helping me out of my jacket.
That had me intrigued. Whenever he grinned like that, I knew that he had an idea that I would simply adore.
*****
We drove for hours, up into the mountains, up into the snow and ice, the four-wheel drive on the SUV certainly getting a workout. While he had never previously driven a real vehicle with four-wheel drive, all the experience with racing games had taught him how to do it, and my big brother had virtually no trouble whatsoever.
At last, we arrived: a small secluded cabin, well off the beaten path. Even before he had parked the SUV, I was hugging my big brother, thrilled at his surprise.
One long weekend alone in the snow-covered mountains... and it was still daylight on Friday.
This was definitely worth the complex trading of numerous shifts at the video store which would leave me working virtually non-stop for four days straight between Christmas and the end of the year.
"How did you find this place?" I asked, finally separating from my big brother. "This is beautiful!"
It was indeed beautiful. The small cabin with a narrow wrap-around porch was perched in the middle of a wide clearing, with about a foot of pure virgin white snow covering the scene. The mountain sloped gently upward to the north to the summit, and a fairly significant descent, fortunately barricaded by a snow-covered wooden fence, marked the south side of the area.
"Some online research," he replied with a wink and an I'm-not-divulging-my-secrets smile.
The interior of the cabin was just as beautiful as the exterior. Dark wood dominated the furnishings: table, four chairs, king-size bed, dressers, armoir, cabinets, mantle, bookcase, coffee table... Dark colors dominated the decorations: a lot of navy blue, dark gray, black. It seemed as if the cabin had been designed for darker passions, for painful pleasures.
That was just fine with me.
The kitchen was already stocked with food, both ready-to-eat microwavable meals and enough supplies to prepare our own food for up to a week, even though we would only be at the cabin until about midday Sunday. Then again, in a snow-prone area in winter, it made sense to ensure that we could survive for up to a week if necessary.
There was fortunately running water and a flushing toilet. Granted, I had been camping quite a few times, including twice during the winter, but having running water and a flushing toilet made the weekend even better, even before the weekend had really begun. There was also electricity, which was an added bonus. In case we did get snowed in for some time, there were numerous candles and countless gallons of bottled water in a closet, and a generator outside with fuel for the generator stored in a small shed behind the cabin.
We had everything we could possibly need for the weekend, including the most important thing of all: We had each other.
As a special bonus, there was even a tall, albeit artificial Christmas tree in the main room, already decorated beautifully with ornaments and lights and fake snow with a wide white skirt at its base. Underneath were a few gifts, each bearing my name written in my big brother's handwriting. Clearly, he had planned this weekend well in advance, and had even sent these gifts ahead to be placed here prior to our arrival.
I hugged him close, a tear in my eye from the joy I felt from his thoughtfulness and from the overall surprise. But I could not open the gifts until the following morning, for that would be, as he said, "our special Christmas."
*****
As the sun set, I leaned against the railing of the wrap-around porch on the west side of the cabin. Standing behind me, my big brother held me snugly, kissing the back of my head. Nothing was said as we enjoyed the quiet and the beauty of Nature, far away from the noise and the busy lifestyle of Berkeley.
We stood on the porch until the final rays of daylight had disappeared from the sky. Clouds were moving in to obscure the stars and filter the light of the moon, but the scene remained beautiful and serene. Snow had been forecast for that night, adding another layer of purity to the mountainside.
"Let's go back inside," my big brother finally whispered into my ear. "I believe dinner and wine would be appropriate for tonight."
"Wine?" I asked, surprised, and he laughed softly into my ear.
"Wine," he confirmed. "The management only knew that I was paying with a credit card. They didn't know that neither of us are twenty-one yet, and they provided a bottle of wine when they stocked the cabin for us."
I had tasted wine previously. Back home, our parents had occasionally allowed us to drink wine, but only in their presence and only a very little, and only if we were not planning to go anywhere that night. But there was definitely something appealing about having wine on our own for the first time, thousands of miles away from our parents, seemingly millions of miles away from any other humans.
After giving me a final squeeze, my big brother offered me his arm, which I gladly accepted so he could lead me back inside.
Dinner was indeed nice. We dined by candlelight, sharing a meal of spaghetti, salad, bread, and wine. The alcohol went to my head quickly, even though I was very slow to drink it, and I had quite a heady feeling by the time we had finished eating. While my big brother cleared away the dishes and the leftovers, I stretched out on the sofa, my eyes closed, definitely thankful that I was not planning to drive anywhere but wondering how I would fare in one of the racing games if we had brought our console with us.
Soon, my big brother knelt beside the sofa. I could still smell the alcohol upon his breath, and somehow, it was an aphrodisiac for me. Perhaps it was the fact that I was also feeling a little tipsy which delighted my mind. Perhaps it was the thought that guys sometimes take advantage of young college women who have been drinking, and while I would never accuse my big brother of taking advantage of me, he certainly did take me regularly.
His hand upon my breast somehow felt warmer than usual. He simply nonchalantly rested his hand upon me, as if submitting himself to a handscan to enter a secure military installation. I placed my hand upon his, and we shared a long, loving gaze in the dim candlelight of the main room. Certainly, he could feel the beating of my heart through my breast, and he could thus feel the rhythm of my forbidden love for him.
I sighed contentedly when he at last bent forward to kiss my neck. He squeezed my breast, my sigh turning into a soft moan. When his lips finally met mine, I was ready to melt; he could have molded me into anything his heart desired and I would have acquiesced without a second thought.
"I like the smell of the alcohol on your breath," my big brother whispered, and I had to giggle, for I could very easily have given him the exact same observation.
However, his renewed kiss silenced me. In fact, his renewed kiss sucked the breath from me, emptied my lungs, leaving me gasping when his head was finally lifted away. Yet his hand was still upon my breast, rising and falling as my lungs vied for oxygen.
"My beautiful twin," he complimented me, causing my heart to swell within my chest. "My better half."
I laughed openly at that for a moment, which brought a smile to his lips. "How can one twin be better than the other?" I challenged him, squeezing his hand upon my breast and thus causing him to squeeze my breast anew.
"You may have a point there, baby sister," he acknowledged, then silenced me with another kiss.
We bantered back and forth for a long time, our comments interspersed between kisses. Yet his hand never moved from my breast, only giving an occasional squeeze or caress.
"Turn on the tree lights," I finally requested, barely able to discern the alcohol on either his breath or mine. Only then did my big brother remove his hand from my breast, and even though he was never more than a few feet away from me, I felt a slight sadness at no longer having him touch me, especially there.
Fortunately, the sadness was short-lived, for a few moments later, multicolored lights flashed in the room: red and green and yellow and orange and blue, the lights on the tree blinked in random patterns, adding a cheeriness befitting of the holiday season. I knew my eyes were sparkling even before I saw how my big brother smiled at me as he returned and again knelt beside the sofa, his hand returning to my breast and squeezing with lust as he kissed me in earnest.
When he pulled away and moved his hands to the top of my sweater, I was definitely ready, needing to be naked before him. I wanted to give myself to him, to give and give and give and give and give and give until he had taken everything within me. Yet he moved slowly, purposefully, respectfully, lovingly, unbuttoning my sweater with the care of someone unwrapping a gift which is known to be extremely fragile.
He parted my sweater, then bent down to kiss my stomach through the camisole I wore. My hands in his hair, I guided him, directing his lips back toward my chest, where he kissed me directly over my heart, his lips lingering there for quite some time before his hand slipped underneath the camisole, stroking my skin before ultimately kneading my breast through my bra.
"Please, big brother," I pleaded softly. But he backed away, withdrawing his hands and his lips, and ultimately standing beside the sofa. I reached for him, stroking the noticeable bulge at the front of his jeans, looking up at him with heartfelt desire.
He took my hand, and pulled me up to stand before him. We embraced in the dancing multicolor light emanating from the tree, our hearts practically beating in unison. Even as the kiss lingered, he moved his hands to my shoulders, slipping the sweater from my frame.
I stood there as my big brother adored me, kissing me and touching me as he undressed me, camisole, jeans, socks, bra, and thong ultimately joining the sweater upon the floor. All I wore was a loving smile as he picked me up and carried me to the darkened bedroom, depositing me at the center of the king-size bed.