Josh and Ted stopped in front of Jessie's high school. Jessie, Josh's sister, was talking to a couple of friends, waiting for her brother to pick her up. Ted nudged Josh and jerked a thumb toward the group.
"Your sister's friends are hot," he said, making a different jerking motion in his lap.
Josh shook his head. "Jesus, Ted; is that all you ever think about?" Josh had listened to Ted's lurid description of every female under the age of thirty, as they drove down the street. He couldn't pass a woman without making some kind of suggestive remark. It was getting old.
"Come on, dude," cajoled Ted. "Haven't you ever wondered what that red-head would be like?" He waggled his eyebrows in what he thought was a suggestive gesture. "You know what they say about red-heads..."
"The same thing they say about blondes, brunettes, and chicks with tattoos?" Josh asked. "Ted, you say the same thing about whatever kind of chick you're looking at."
Ted shrugged. "Well, what can I say? They're all sluts... underneath." He punctuated the last word by grabbing his crotch.
"Shit, Ted... Shut up," he slugged Ted's shoulder, "here comes my sister."
Jessie bounced up and stood outside the car. "Hey, Ted, Big Brother..." She made no move to get in the car, just glared at Ted, who smiled up at her.
Josh slugged him and said, "Open the door, Jerk-Wad."
"Stop hittin' me, Dick-Face," replied Ted, as he got out of the car and opened the back door. "After you, Miss Edwards..." he said with mock grace.
Ted watched as she ducked and scrambled into the car, hoping to catch a glimpse of upper-thigh, or even her panties. He was disappointed. Jessie had plenty of practice getting into a car in her short school-plaid skirt, without giving her brother's sicko friend a peep show.
Once settled in, she smiled sweetly at Ted. "That you, sir. You're a gentleman and a scholar."
Josh shook his head, smiling. "Wrong on both counts, Sis," he called back.
"Shut up," said Ted, climbing back into the front seat.
Jessie dug around in her purse as they pulled into traffic. She found her brush and gave her golden blonde hair a few swipes. She kept her hair short, just below her collar, framing her round freckled face. She wasn't what you would call a classic beauty, having high, plump cheeks and a pug nose, but she was cute.
"So, Jessie," Ted said over his shoulder, "what's the scoop on those two girls you were talking to? They available?"
"I'm not your pimp, Ted," Jessie replied in a tired voice.
"Hey, I was just askin'," he shot back, feigning hurt innocence.
"What's wrong? Can't you find any college girls dumb enough to go out with you?"
Ted laughed airily. "Oh, you are a real comedian, little girl..." But he said nothing further.
Josh smiled to himself, knowing that his sister had struck a nerve. Ted did have trouble finding girls who would date him more than once. Small wonder, he thought, the way he treated them. He had no social skills whatsoever. Ted hadn't learned to keep his big mouth shut.
"So, how goes the man-hunt, Jess?" Ted asked, slyly. "Got any poor sucker on the hook, yet?"
Josh cringed at the mention of his sister's hunt for a boyfriend. He knew that she felt odd, being the only one of her friends still unattached. It was getting close to graduation, too. If she didn't hook up with someone, Josh would have to be her date to the senior prom.
Jessie sighed and responded, "Oh, I have a few prospects," she lied.
"Yeah, right," scoffed Ted. "Whoa, check that out," he said to Josh, pointing at a young, large-breasted blonde. Leaning out the window, he shouted, "Hey babe! Whatcha doin' later?"
Josh laughed and said, "Come on, Ted. Get over yourself, will you?"
Ted sighed and remained quiet as they drove on down the road. The silence was a welcome respite from Ted's constant stream of cat calls and lewd observations. Josh popped a CD in the car's player, and they drove on listening to DePeche Mode.
When they got to Ted's apartment, he hopped out without a word and waved over his shoulder. Jessie got out and took his place in the front seat.
"I hope he's not upset," she said earnestly.
"Forget him," her brother said dismissively, "he's an asshole."
"Then why do you hang out with him?" Jessie asked.
"Habit, I guess," replied Josh. "We've been friends so long, I don't even think about it."
Jessie sighed heavily and hugged her backpack. Josh shot her a glance and asked, "What's the matter, Sis?"
"I can't find anyone to take me to the prom," she muttered. She turned a puffy-eyed face to her brother. "Is there something wrong with me, Josh? Am I ugly, or what?"
"Hell, no, you're not ugly," replied Josh. "You look great. A little... innocent, maybe."
Jessie looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you look kind of... prudish." He cleared his throat and added, "Not that that's bad, necessarily. It's just..."
"What? I should look like that slut Shelly Piccolo?"
Josh knew Shelly Piccolo. Hell, everyone knew Shelly Piccolo. She'd slept with half the boys in her eighth-grade class, and worked up from there. By the time she got to high school, most of the senior boys knew her reputation: "If you want a good time, just call Shelly Piccolo. She puts out like a Coke machine."
"No," replied Josh, fighting back the involuntary hard-on brought about by the mention of Shelly Piccolo. "I don't think you need to go that far. Just try to look more... accessible."
Josh tried to explain that it was more a matter of attitude. She usually hugged her backpack to her chest, as if it were a shield. And it wouldn't hurt to undo one or two of the top buttons on her blouse. And she shouldn't glare at boys, as if she were daring them to talk to her. Jessie listened attentively, making mental notes.
"So, all that stuff makes me look prudish?" she asked at the end.
Josh shrugged. "Yeah, sort of. Of course, that's just your big brother's opinion." He turned the corner and pulled into the driveway of their father's house. "I mean, it all says: 'I wouldn't even consider having sex with you.' And that's a real turn-off."
"Josh," she said timidly, as he shut off the ignition, "I don't think I want to have sex."
Josh chuckled, then looked at his sister's face. She looked like a frightened rabbit, cowering against the car door. "You're serious..." She nodded and opened the car door, bolting for the house.
"Huh," Josh said, staring after his sister. He'd never heard of an eighteen year old girl who didn't at least think about having sex. This was not good, he thought.
He gathered his stuff and followed Jessie into the house. She wasn't in the kitchen, so she must have gone on to her bedroom, he thought. Oh, well, she needed some time to think things out. Maybe, if she took his advice, she could finally get a date.
He grabbed a Coke from the fridge, a bag of sour cream and onion flavored potato chips from the pantry and went in to the living room to watch TV. His team was playing an exhibition game, so he had no further thought of the conversation with his sister. It wasn't until half-time that he even got out of his chair.
When his bladder demanded attention, he got up and went to the bathroom. As he came out, he could hear sobbing coming from his sister's room. He went to the door and knocked gently.
"Sis? You okay?" he called.
"Yeah," came the weak reply.
Josh sighed, considered going back to the game, and then knocked again.
"Sis? Can I come in?"
"Okay."
He eased the door open and saw his sister getting up from her desk, closing her diary. She had changed into a pair of worn jeans and a gray pullover sweater-shirt. The gray woolen material emphasized the redness of her round, freckled face. She reminded him of the days when they were in grade school and some bully would steal her doll, or tie her pig-tails together. He was overcome by his protective instinct, and determined to fix whatever was wrong.
She stood in front of him, eyes downcast, tears drying on her round cheeks. She took a deep breath, making her firm round breasts rise provocatively as she looked up and met her brother's eyes.
"What's the matter," asked Josh, looking stern.
Jessie stepped forward and put her hands on his shoulders. "Oh, Josh! I'm never going to find a date..." She began weeping again as Josh hugged her. "I'm such a loser!"
Josh sighed. "Oh, is that what's bothering you?" He pulled her away slightly and looked into her red eyes. "I thought we had that settled. All you need to do is a little image polishing..."
"But," she stammered, "Even if I do... I wouldn't know what to do! I-I don't even know how to kiss properly." She buried her face in Josh's shoulder and sobbed again.
Josh stroked his sister's trembling back and made soothing sounds. "Come on, Sis. It's not that bad." He pulled her back again, saying, "Look, what if I showed you how to kiss? Would that help?"
Jessie stopped sobbing and stared at Josh with a blank expression. "That sounds stupid," she said flatly. "It's like one of those dumb romance movies..."
"Fine," said Josh, turning to leave. "You just figure it out on your own..."
Jessie ran up and grabbed her brother's arm. "Wait," she implored. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude." She placed her hands on his shoulders and smiled up at him. "Go ahead. Teach me..." She puckered up and lifted her lips.
Josh laughed and said, "First of all: no puckering. They only do that in the movies." He put his hands on either side of her face and shook her gently. "Loosen up... There..." He gave her a light slap on the cheek. "Just hold still and follow my lead. Now..."
He leaned over and placed his lips against hers as he grasped her lightly around her waist. He kissed her gently and pulled his head back to assess his sister's reaction. She still had her eyes closed, licking her lips.
