Part 2. This part is written from the point of view of Suzy, Alex's mother.
Last night. Not much else had been on my mind during the workday. Now that I had sobered up and done a short shift at work, it felt quite unreal. I didn't drink that much these days so the wakeup in the crowded bed, hung over, was an atypical experience.
Waking up naked was also not usual as I tended to sleep in comfortable jammies because the insulation of my house was from... 1940's? What was even more divergent from my normal routine was waking up with someone.
In the quiet moments of the workday, I had tried to remember when the was the last time I had woken up with someone after Alex had grown up and wanted to sleep alone. Someone I cared about, that is. There were the few one-night stands that I barely remembered, courtesy of Mer who had watched Alex so I could get on the prowl. The dating seemed to never work out for me. Sex, yes. Dating, relationships... there was always so much to do and Alex to take care of.
I walked past the old church graveyard, and like so many times before, I walked the familiar route to the grave. Nina Breanna Hendell. What would you have said if you knew about last night, I thought. I didn't think of myself as a religious person. Just sometimes I hoped that Nina was there to answer my questions, somewhere.
Nina had always been like me in that she was very open to things. Wiccan to the bone, she lived her own life as she wanted. That was the main reason that Alex did not have a father. They never could figure out who he was, and Nina hadn't cared.
I knelt before the grave and wiped the fallen leaves off it. "Oh, Nina." I sighed. As I felt the loss and pain again and saw the five-pointed star on the gravestone I remembered what Nina had told me of the Wicca philosophy one memorable weekend. 'an it harm none, do what ye will' was the gist of it, if I remembered correctly. From the depths of my memory, floated another one. 'Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the law, love under will.'
Drying the few tears on my cheeks, I rose. "Thank you. I love you. I'll try being true to your life. I'm sure that is what you would have wanted for Alex as well."
Arriving home, I changed from work clothes to something more comfortable. Although it had to be said that while I loved my warm, soft, and cozy clothes, I tended to wear 'uniforms' as I called them, especially outside home.
While I started the daily ritual of making tea, I checked the messages and on the top of them was one from Mer. 'Call me'. What a surprise. We had things to discuss, at least for a few evenings worth but I knew that she would manage for a few minutes.
Sipping my tea, I let my thoughts run free. During the day I had not had proper time to mull over things. That was one of the things that separated me from Meredith and Nina. They lived their life more moment to moment while I tended to at least to try to plan. Not that last night had involved any planning. Sighing, I decided to call my sister.
Mer picked up on the second ring. "Where have you been, don't you read your messages?" she almost yells to me.
"There is this thing called work, you might have heard of it." I calmly respond.
"You're a librarian, don't tell me that you cannot sneak in between the stacks and call me anytime you want. I mean, it is a library, not a hospital."
"I know. I just didn't have any time to get my head straight and talking to you wouldn't have made it any easier."
"Do NOT tell me that you are backpedaling. As I am not, and I hope to all the gods that Alex isn't either." she rushes out.
"I'm not. Do not fret, dear sister. You will get your fun. I hope. I haven't talked to Alex since." Small shiver of fear passes through me. "I'm sure it's fine."
"So, are we going to visit him again?" She enquires quietly.
I sigh. "Of course, we are. I truly think that while you inherited the looks, I got the brains. What do you think - that we start avoiding him?"
She is quiet for a few moments. "Suzy, I am afraid. I know it's stupid and not fair to think that he would start to hate us or anything, but... "
"I know. It's not rational but that makes it not a single bit easier. I say we give him a visit. Let our minds to be at rest." I hesitate "One way or the other."
"Ha! I knew you would be worried too. Sure, I have a client meeting and can be there at four and meet you both there, okay?"
You make your goodbyes and hang up. I look at myself in the mirror and decide to change before leaving.
Living in a small town has its benefits. One of them is that you can walk almost anywhere if you are not in a hurry. I could have taken my car, but it was only half an hour of walking. It is early autumn Saturday and while the air is slowly getting colder, there is still some warmth, and the sun is shining nicely.
I try to walk as much as I can to keep myself in shape. Now that Alex has lived by himself for a while, I've noticed that it is so much easier just to stay on the couch after work as there is not that much to be done anymore. In addition, I think that while my breasts gets the first attention of men - and some women - I think that my legs are my best part.
That is one of the reasons that I'm partial to stockings. Some women think them impractical or uncomfortable, but I like them. While my thighs are thick, they are in good shape and my calves are muscular and lean, thanks to walking and yoga.
Thinking about that I find that one of the most titillating thoughts is of getting to know what Alex likes about my body. It is not something that really hasn't come up earlier, not very surprisingly. Thinking about it now gives me hot feeling on my cheeks and butterflies in my stomach.
I feel like that thought is something I would need to immediately squash as totally inappropriate but that isn't the case anymore, now, is it? This all so new. On the other hand, I have handled other mental readjustments in my life, and I can't think how this would be any different.
My train of thought stops as I realize that I have arrived at Alex's building. I scold myself as I remember that we haven't even told him that we are arriving. Maybe he is not at home, I think and feel a momentary relief. I immediately feel ashamed of the feeling. These bouncing emotions are going to be the death of me, I tell myself as I press the buzzer.
The door clicks and I enter. Getting to his floor I look at myself in the mirror of the elevator. I'm in my 'uniform'; white blouse, neat gray skirt, flat heeled shoes and of course the stockings. Thinking about them makes me rub my thighs together and I get a momentary thrill out of it. I must admit that I spent maybe few more moments selecting my underwear today than I normally would. So, sue me. Maybe I'll get lucky, I think and with a grin come out of the elevator.
Alex has opened his door and seeing me comments "Aren't we perky today. To which do I owe the honor of your presence?"
I give him an enigmatic look "Wouldn't you want to know? Now let me in and make me some tea."
"Oh, and Meredith is coming as well as soon as she can get her work done."
