Touch

"Wake up sleepy head." I could feel warm breath on my lips and smell the slightly sour scent of milk long ago consumed as the soft words pierced through the fog of peaceful sleep I had been thoroughly enjoying. I kept my eyes closed, hoping to make Kerry think I was still asleep.

"Wake up." She said in a sing-song voice that dragged each word out sweetly. I felt the soft touch of her nose brushing mine as she turned her head back and forth to give me an Eskimo kiss. I nearly opened my eyes at that point but held my discipline.

"Wake up Jay. I need to suck you again." My eyes shot open and I was staring into my sister's big brown pools of deep love. She laughed that beautiful laugh into my lips and I chuckled with her.

"Well, I'm certainly awake now!" She laughed even more and then started to rub her nose on mine again. The sensation tickled a bit but was deliciously soft and intimate. I rubbed her back and let my hands sweep over her body to hold her to me. A shudder went through me as I felt the silken smoothness of her skin and was once again completely addicted.

"I love you Jay." She whispered against my lips. The feel of her so close to kissing me was painfully erotic and I tried to end it by pushing my lips up to meet hers. She pulled back and smiled apologetically before once again rubbing her nose on mine.

"I like this. Why don't we just stay like this for a while?" She asked, once again brushing her lips ever so gently over mine.

"I don't have any objection to that," I answered with a smirk. My hands started their constant search for any sort of flaw on her back and my head turned just a bit to rub her nose with mine.

"Good," she grinned back at me. Her hand was on my upper arm, fingers twisting to feel my skin and the muscle beneath. She used her whole hand to massage me and then just her thumb and then her fingertips. It was like she was trying to figure out what felt best so she could only do that from then on.

We lay facing each other on our sides with my left arm beneath her and my right over her side, both hands feeling her back. I kept running into her bra as I explored her and it was a bit frustrating. I wanted to take the damn thing off her but I knew that was a line she wouldn't cross easily. It took a good bit of self control not to do much more than glide over the strap when I came to it.

"Are you hard for me Big Brother?" Christ! If I hadn't already been I would have been decidedly stone-like just from hearing her ask that.

"Always." It seemed like a good answer and not the least bit untrue as well.

"Oh, I had no idea!" Her lips stretched into another smile. I wanted to kiss her so bad just then.

"Then it's a good thing you asked." She giggled against me and I flashed back to being between those heavenly legs a few hours before. My mouth watered at the thought of doing that again.

"Well then, I guess I should get to work."

"No, you can hang out for a while. I'm not going anywhere." I didn't want her to feel like anything we did together constituted work but I was hoping to use a more subtle approach over just telling her if it was work she shouldn't bother.

"Oh yeah? And here I thought you had a hot date you needed to get to."

"I do, but it's not till nine so I've got time." I expected her to laugh but instead she pulled away and looked hurt. "I'm not serious Kerry."

"I know," she looked contemplative as she said it. I wasn't sure she exactly meant what she said.

"What's wrong?" I asked when she shifted against me and laid her head on the pillow too far away for me to kiss her.

"Nothing."

"Come on Kerry, don't give me that."

"It's nothing, don't worry about it. I'll get over it." I looked into her eyes and tried to decide if she really wanted me to leave it alone or press her.

"You can tell me anything, you know that." I figured using her own promise to me would get her to open up. At least I hoped it would.

"It's just..." she paused and frowned hard like the words wouldn't come to her. I waited for her but she stretched that silence until I was sure she wouldn't go on without prompting.

"Just what?"

"It's just; I don't like to think about you being with other girls. That's all."

"Well I can't blame you there. I don't like to think about you being with other guys either."

"I know, but it's different."

"How's it different?" I hoped I didn't sound like I was getting angry with her. Truthfully I was a bit put out by this, but I knew the conversation this was leading to was inevitable so I figured I might as well get it over with.

"It's different because you've been with other girls. I haven't."

"You haven't been with other girls?" I asked in mock surprise.

"Asshole! You know what I mean." She lightly slapped my chest but smiled at me nonetheless.

"Well what about that guy you used your mouth on. Doesn't he count at least?"

"No, he doesn't."

"Oh, so a blowjob isn't sex then?"

"That's not what I mean. You know I'm not like that."

"Like what?"

"A slut!" I stared at her a moment in surprise. I hadn't really meant to imply she was a slut but that was how she took it. How do I get out of this one?

"Ok, that's really not what I meant Kerry."

"Then what did you mean." She sounded a bit angry but not to the point that I couldn't salvage the situation.

"Well, I just meant that you aren't as inexperienced as you...No that's not right either. Look, I just wanted to say that even if it was only a blowjob, you have been intimate in some way with someone other than me." I didn't like the way this was coming out but I just couldn't seem to say what I meant.

"So?" She was loosing some of her anger but I still had a bit more to go.

"So, knowing that kind of bothers me. In the same way that knowing I've been with other girls bothers you." I felt a great sense of relief as understanding spread throughout her perfect features. Shit, not even together for a day and I almost ruin it by sticking my foot in my mouth.

"Oh. But you've done a lot more than I have."

"Yeah."

"So doesn't that mean I should be more insecure about it than you?" I wasn't sure how serious she was as she gave me a wide eyed look that could have meant anything.

"Maybe. I don't know. The point is we have to try to overcome it and not be insecure at all."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She sighed.

"I am right. I'm right, right?" I smiled at her and she giggled at my ridiculous display of insecurity. "Seriously though, I understand where you're coming from. If you want to ask me something you can. You don't have to worry about how I might take it. I'll just be honest with you. Alright?"

"Ok," was all she said and we fell into a not entirely comfortable silence. I was certain she was trying to decide if she should ask about my previous experiences. I just let my hands feel her skin and tried not to be to neurotic about it.

"Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"How many?"

"How many what Kerry?" I knew what she meant but for some reason I wanted her to say it clearly.

"How many have you been with? Girls I mean."

"Are you sure you want to know?" As soon as I asked that I regretted it. It made it sound like some sort of dark secret that could come between us and I didn't want her to think I wanted to hide it from her.

"I don't know. Is it bad?"

"I don't know what would make the number of girls I've been with bad as opposed to good."

"I mean, is it a lot."

"No. At least I don't think so."

"Then yes, I want to know." She looked scared, vulnerable. I considered lying to spare her but it wasn't like I could get away with telling her I was a virgin. I decided to just be honest and hope what I considered a modest or even small number wouldn't make her break down in tears.

"Twelve. I've been with twelve girls. In the biblical sense."

"Oh," she said blankly. "I thought it would be more."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that. It's just, you're so good looking I thought you'd have girls hanging off you everywhere you go." I was laughing before she'd made it halfway through and she looked at me in consternation. "What?"

"Girls hanging off me? Come on, I realize you're attracted to me but shit Kerry, I'm not a rock star."

"No but...I mean it just seems like you're so confident and all. I just figured you could get a girl whenever you wanted to." I raised my eyebrows at her and she blushed.

"Everybody gets shot down Kerry. I'm no man-whore and I don't really aspire to be. I like more meaningful relationships rather than just a quickie after a night of drinking with some girl I can barely remember the next day."

"Oh, well I'm glad. I didn't think you were like that but I thought you could be if you wanted to."

"I'll take that as a compliment then." I smiled at her and she blushed again. She was just so easily embarrassed. 'Someday she'll realize that shit isn't necessary and she'll get past it,' I told myself.

"Is that all you wanted to know?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'm not really in the mood for more Q and A anyway." She pressed up against me again and my smile broadened to a nearly lecherous level.

"What are you in the mood for?"

"I'm not sure I should say."

"Why not?"

"It's just so dirty." She pressed her nose to mine and spoke against my lips yet again. For a girl with limited experience, she sure knew how to tease me to a boil.

"I like it when you're dirty."

"I know." Her eyes were bright with lust and I felt her tremble under my hands as they continued their constant caress over her back.

"Tell me what you want Little Sister." I whispered against her lips. Those deep brown eyes seemed to flash and she smiled so seductively it made my hands stop and pull her against me harder.

"I want to suck my Big Brother's cock and drink his hot cum." Oh God, it doesn't get sexier than that!

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"That is dirty, sucking your brother's cock. I'm not sure if I should let you do that." I wanted her to rise to the challenge and show some strength and I held my breath as she considered how to respond.

"You wouldn't be able to stop me if you tried." Those were exactly the words I would have chosen for her and I couldn't have been happier to hear them.

"Well then, I guess you can have your way with me." The sexual tension suddenly broke when her intensely lustful stare gave way to a laugh. I smiled at her but wasn't as amused as she seemed to be.

"I'm going to make you cum so hard Big Brother." The humor disappeared in a flash and she was sexpot Kerry again. I groaned at that, knowing it wasn't an idle threat. The two most intense orgasms of my life had been at her hands. I knew she could do it again.

She slid off the bed and out of my arms and I was dismayed to see she had put her panties back on. I hadn't really looked away from her face much since waking up and hadn't really noticed the feel of them against me. I wanted nothing more than to get those off her permanently.

Kerry reached out to stroke her hand down my belly and over my hard on before gently cupping my balls. She was still standing beside the bed, bent at the waist as she used her left hand to support me. Her right made its way down to join the party and she wrapped it around me and started stroking.

"Do you like it when your Little Sister touches you like this Jay?"

"Um let me think about that. Fuck yeah!" She looked me in the eye but didn't smile as her hand picked up speed and her grip firmed on me. Once again she had found that perfect grip. It was uncanny that she was so good at this.

"Tell me what this makes you want to do to me Jay." I was surprised to hear that and pondered the best way to respond.

"Jesus Kerry, it makes me want to do more than I could ever tell you."

"Try." She sounded serious yet seductive and I found it impossible to resist. Her focus returned to the pleasure her hands were giving me as I thought out what to say. She stared at my cock as her hand flowed over it and I swear she looked near to drooling.

"Ok. Feeling you jerking me off makes me want to touch your pussy. It makes me want to eat you from ass to clit and make you scream for hours. It makes me want to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk afterwards." I felt like maybe I had gone too far but her hand only picked up speed on me.

"Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"It makes me want the same things and so much more." My heart rate went through the roof and I was fighting off the urge to cum.

"I know what you mean." I groaned out at her and she looked back at my face.

"This is going to be really hard for us Jay." She said in a non-sexy and very serious tone.

"What is?"

"Not making love."

"Yeah, I guess it is." I wanted to ask her why we needed to hold back but I didn't want to seem like I was pressuring her to give in. I just kept telling myself I could wait as long as needed.

"I want to Jay, God I really do."

"It's ok Kerry, you don't have to explain." She hung her head and her hands stopped their movement on me. She straightened up and I wondered how I had ruined the moment.

"Stand up I want to try something new." I looked askance at her but she just gestured for me to get up. I hesitated some more but eventually got on my feet beside her.

"Some day soon you're going to fuck my pussy Jay. I can't wait and I know you want it to but we have to wait. Until then I want you to use my mouth." She dropped to her knees before me and used both hands to jerk me.

"Ok Kerry, I can't say I object to that."

"Jay, when I start to suck you I want you to grab my head and fuck my face hard. I want you to imagine you're fucking my pussy and really give it to me. Can you do that for me?" I gaped down at her and wondered if I could do that. She was my sister, my most intimate lover, and my friend. She wanted me to be rough with her but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it.

"Wow Kerry, that's..." I struggled to find the words to explain myself. "I mean, I'm not sure if I want to do that to you. I sure as hell don't want to hurt you."

"I know Jay, I trust you. That's why I want you to do it, because I know you won't hurt me." She wasn't telling me everything and I knew it. Maybe with some other girl I could have let that go, but not with my sister. With her there on her knees in front of me I could see deep down she was scared. She was trying to hide it, but it was there.

"Why do you want to do this?"

"What do you mean? I just told you..."

"There's something else Kerry, I can see it. Tell me what it is." She looked like she was about to deny it, but then she sort of shrank in on her self. Her hands, which had been driving me to distraction, stilled and just held me loosely.

"You deserve this Jay, why are you trying to get out of it?"

"Why do I deserve it?"

"Because I love you and I want you to be happy." She said it almost like it was a question and I couldn't believe that was all that motivated her.

"Why do you think I'm not already happy?" I figured it out then, but once again I needed her to tell me so I could be sure.

"Jay..."

"It's ok Kerry. Please, if you trust me just tell me." I implored.

"Because I won't fuck you! Are you happy now, I said it. I know as long as I hold out you're not gonna be satisfied so I have to find ways to make up for it. Shit Jay, why do you always have to pick at everything?" Her hands fell away from me to go to her face so she could hide behind them and once again I felt like an asshole. It was worth it though. I really didn't want to do something like that to her if she wasn't into it.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want you to feel like that." I had more to say but it just wouldn't come out. She stood up and grabbed her robe from the floor and once again tried to flee the room. In the seconds I had to decide what to do I figured I'd rather have her angry in front of me than sad somewhere else so I stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Don't go Kerry. Please, I'm sorry. I love you. I don't want to do anything that you're not comfortable with. I just want to have fun with you, to give you pleasure and make your life better. Please." I hoped she wouldn't burst into tears again but of course she did. I was left holding her against me with a rapidly shrinking dick and a tangle of emotions to deal with.

"I'm sorry I'm such a nutcase Jay. I know I'm a pain in the ass." She said between sobs on my shoulder.

"You aren't a nutcase. It's just a strange situation, that's all. And you aren't a pain in the ass either." I stroked her hair and enjoyed the smell of it against my nose as she shook against me.

I held her for a while and it lasted so long I started to wonder if this was more grief for our parents coming out. If so it was surprising, considering how much she had already displayed in the past. Regardless of the source, she was hurting and I did my best to alleviate that.

"Damn it, I think I ruined the mood." She said into my neck and I knew she was done crying. She leaned back to look at me and I smiled at her. "I'm sorry."

"Would ya stop apologizing already?" I said in a sarcastic tone and she hung her head a bit. "Look, enough of the drama for now alright? Let's get some lunch, I'm starving."

"Ok," she sounded so down. I hated to hear her like that and cast about for some way to cheer her up.

"'Ok.' That's all you've got to say is 'Ok.' Come on girl, we're going to eat! You love to eat, remember?" She smiled but I was determined to get a laugh. "In fact, last time I checked you loved eating so much they kicked you out of the diner you worked at for eating more than serving the food."

"Shut up!" She finally laughed as her hands pushed against me in outrage. "They didn't fire me, I quit because I was going to college!"

"That's not what I heard." I couldn't keep a straight face as she once again exploded in outraged giggles. I laughed with her too and we felt the tension slowly lift.

"What do you want for lunch?" I asked as we turned to head for the door.

"I think it's closer to dinner time now." She said and then looked at me weird. "Aren't you gonna put some clothes on?"

"I hadn't planned on it. Why, does my nudity disturb you?"

"Yeah, but not in a bad way." She grinned at me and bumped her hip against mine.

"Alright, I guess I can wear shorts if you insist."

"I do. I can't be attacking you every five minutes and make dinner at the same time." I grumbled to myself melodramatically as I retrieved the shorts I'd been wearing before from the floor. I stepped into them and pulled them up quickly so I could resume the intimate embrace I'd had to leave in order to do it.

"Happy now?"

"No, but I'm getting there." I frowned at her and pulled her along with me to head downstairs. I didn't ask her why she wasn't happy, that was for another time.

We had to separate in order to make it down the stairs, either that or look like a couple of loons clinging to each other the whole way down. Never one to make myself look stupid, I opted for following her down. She paused in order to put on her robe, a true tragedy that, and then took off for the first floor.

The view when following a woman down the stairs isn't quite so fascinating as following her up them so I just stared at the top of her head as we descended. I wanted to find a way to erase every bad thing Kerry was suffering under whether I knew about it or not, but of course I couldn't. All I could hope for was that I wouldn't become one of those bad things for her.

Once at the bottom of the stairs she turned and bounded through the dining room into the kitchen leaving me hustling to catch up. By the time I got there she was already digging out a pot from the drawer under the stove.

"You don't have to watch me, I'm just gonna make some Mac and Cheese and maybe some hotdogs. Not really fascinating stuff." She said as she went about preparing to cook the five star meal she'd just described.