Too Far Gone

Wow. Oh my God, it's been a while hasn't it. First, let me say that I was in a pretty dark place when I first started this storyline. When it came time for the sequel, life had actually gotten better. So a lot of the emotion that was fueling it just wasn't there. It made writing this sooo much harder. Still, there were people that kept me on it. So a HUGE thanks to them! And without any further ado... Haha, further ado! By the way, there's a penguin.

-Shaide

I sat in the niche of the open window, letting the suburban breeze flow past me and into my room as the sun rose in the distance. It was peaceful, relaxing. This has always been my favorite moment of the day. There's nothing like it. For me, it was the definition of home. I watched as cars, SUVs, and the ever so rare truck trudged their way out of the neighborhood to begin their daily work schedule. That'll be me in another year or so, I thought. Trudging along. And moments like this will be left to my childhood memories. Maybe one day my own daughter will sit in a window having these same thoughts. Adrian and I really need to have a talk about that. We've never talked about having kids. I'm not even sure I want kids. I filed it away for later. Right now, I just wanted to sit in my pajamas, sip Dad's coffee, and enjoy the moment.

I got a few more sips in before I heard Bryce's car attempt to start up. I didn't even see him go outside. He got out and raised the hood. I've always found that peculiar. Men always do that. Even when they don't know anything about cars, they'll still pop the hood. Like there's going to be some neon sign popping out saying, "This is what's broken." Then again, maybe my little brother did know about cars. How would I know? That one thought completely ruined my morning.

He slammed the hood down and got onto his phone. This was my chance! I didn't even bother going to my suitcase, I still hadn't unpacked yet. I just grabbed my clothes off the floor from yesterday and got dressed. Coffee and beautiful morning sunrises forgotten, I ran down the stairs and out the door.

Too late. I saw Bryce get into some dark blue car. There was a woman driving who looked kind of familiar, but I couldn't place her. She glanced over at me and peeled off.

Damn. Too late. How the hell did he get a ride so quick! I sighed and went back inside.

Well, I was up now. Good and energized, with nothing to do. As I walked down the hallway, I looked at Bryce's door. There were other journals in there. Black pages I hadn't read yet. Was I ready to read them? Could I stand to? I didn't know. Which probably meant that I wasn't. Every time I thought about it, all I could think was how alone he was, how much he needed me, needed all of us, and we weren't there for him. I ran from those thoughts, and retreated to my room, wrapping myself in the safety of my text books.

-----

Lynn

Alice. Alice 2.0. The bitch. We didn't talk the whole way as I drove Bryce to school. It had been years since I'd last laid eyes on her. But there she was, all beautiful and fuckable and perfect. The Beauty and the Brains. The bitch.

Here I am, trying to juggle Bryce, and D, and the gang, and the rest of my fucking life, and she has to come along and grease up all my fucking balls! What the fuck did I do to her?

And the way she came running out? Was she about to offer Bryce a ride? I laughed at myself. At the very thought. Of course not. Their family never gave a damn about Bryce. If they had, he wouldn't have been such easy picking for me. He wouldn't be the sad, depressed, sadistic bastard that he was. If they had loved and cared for him, he wouldn't be the man of my dreams.

"Are you actually going to school today," I asked him.

He looked disconsolate. "Yeah. Might as well."

"We could just hang out," I said. Let's hang out. Let me fuck you.

"No. I need to make a few appearances," he replied. He seemed distracted, but it might have just been because of his car. "By the way, I'm not walking."

"Huh?"

"Graduation. I'm not going."

"Why?" He had been so intent on that before.

"2.0 is giving a speech. I'm not going."

Oh. Good. "Well, if you want, I can get the crew together and we can celebrate." Say yes! Say YES! "And after," I added, putting on my sex-kitten voice, "you and I can have our own private party."

He smiled his sad, little half smile and looked over at me. "Yeah, I'd like that."

YES! Fuck you, Alice! FUCK YOU! He's mine! All mine!

I continued my inner celebration the rest of the drive. As we pulled up to the school, I looked over at him. He was still stuck somewhere in his head. "How about a little preview of graduation night," I suggested, rubbing my hand over his crotch.

I could feel him hardening through his jeans; I knew he was tempted. "No thanks," he said, grabbing my hand and removing it. He reached into his pocket, took out his keys, and handed me his car key. "Tell Johnny Boy I want it back tomorrow."

I pouted at him, but he didn't give in. "Fine." I said, just a little pissed.

He grabbed my head and pulled me into him, kissing me hard, as his tongue started doing acrobatics inside my mouth. I was half drowned in him when he finally pulled back. I could feel him invading my very being as he looked into my eyes. "You're mine. And I don't want anyone to see how special you are. You're mine."

"I'm yours," I said, half delirious with need. Need for more, need for him. He gave me another quick kiss and hopped out of the car. I watched that slow, graceful glide of his as he walked into the school. "And you're mine," I whispered. "All mine."

Driving usually helps me get my thoughts together, but today it was empty and unsatisfying. Although, that was probably my pussy talking. That kiss from Bryce had me all hot and bothered. And wet. Mostly wet. I needed cock. And nobody fucked like Bryce fucked, and I refused to settle for less. So I was fresh out of options. I pulled into the driveway and ran past my brother into my room, slamming the door. I needed something in me!

I jumped out of my jeans and panties, grabbed my vibe out of my nightstand, and shoved it in. Yes! Something!

It wasn't Bryce, but it was something. It didn't have the need, the passion, the way he climbed into me through my pussy. It didn't look me in my eyes, it didn't whisper into my ear. I couldn't feel his mouth, his kiss. It didn't have hands to roam and caress my body. It didn't have his tongue inside of me.

I pumped faster, harder. Willing it to transform into him, to be him. I wanted him. Here. Now. Fucking me. Hard and fast. Shoving his cock into me. Filling me. Using me like some little fuck hole. His hand twisted into my hair, pulling me into his kisses when all I wanted to do was scream. He wasn't there to suck on my breast, pull and play with my nipples the way I liked. Forcing his pleasure into me until I couldn't help but feel it.

Ahhh. Ahhh. Yessss....

I panted, catching my breath. It was small, but it was enough. Just enough.

I turned off my vibrator and tossed it to the side.

It wasn't Bryce. And nothing less would ever truly satisfy me again. I wrapped myself in my sheets, imaging it was Bryce that was holding me, and drifted off thinking of his last words to me. "You're mine."

----

Alice

The only thing duller than a psychology book is a history book. And both are subjects that I love. But they paled in comparison to what was just outside my door.

Bryce's door. That led to Bryce's room. That led to Bryce's journals.

That last though scared me. The last page I had read was stuck in my mind. The pure hatred that bled out of the pages. Tears began to water my eyes as I thought of that little boy who had written that. Lost in the shadow of his older siblings, siblings that should have been there for him, watched over him closer. I began to cry for him as he chose some sad path that I was sure I had never even known existed.

I wiped my eyes, took a deep breath, and mustered up my courage. I was one of those siblings, and it wasn't too late to pull him back. I had to believe that. I had to believe that it wasn't too late for me to show my little brother that I loved him.

I got off my bed and walked out of my room. As I opened his door, it jumped out at me immediately. It was the only thing that didn't belong. The only thing out of place.

No, that's not right. It was the only thing in place. The only think in the room that should have belonged to an 18 year old boy. The only thing that said someone lived here. His backpack. It was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed.

Suddenly, my courage fled me, abandoned me. Bryce's backpack. This didn't belong to the little boy. It wasn't some artifact from the past. This was the here and now. Inside that bag I might find the clues to who that little boy became, where that dark path had led him.

I thought of my own backpack in high school. Book covers with unicorns and hearts. Folders with my favorite bands and celebrity crushes. Small pockets filled with notes from friends and would-be boyfriends. Secret love letters that the world could never see between me and my older brother.

Suddenly, it dawned on me. On how much I was invading his privacy, on how I was abusing it. Was I only interested in Bryce because of a school project? I had suddenly discovered my lost little brother, would I forget him as soon as I got an A?

I could feel the tears starting to build again as I began to see my life from his point of view. For so many years I had been all about me and Adrian. I had left Bryce behind, and so had Adrian. We had been so wrapped up in our own struggles and our own love for each other that we forgot to share that love with Bryce. Our parents had been so blinded by our successes. And Bryce was left alone, struggling and forgotten.

I looked at the backpack again, beginning to reconsider. Then I remembered his face when he came home drunk. "The fuck is wrong with you," he had said. He had a look of absolute bewilderment, as if the idea of his older sister helping him was completely foreign, alien even. That look held in my mind. No, Bryce wasn't going to just accept me and open up. I was going to have to force my way back into his life. I didn't even know I had closed the door, but it was good and locked now. And if I wanted back in, I was going to have to kick it down.

My mind made up, I unzipped his backpack. Would you believe he didn't have one book cover? I went through his notebooks, and they were full of notes. Just notes. No little side letters or anything. I opened the smaller pocket in front. Only pens and a small mp3 player. Fuck!

After spending 3 useless hours listening to his music selection, I was mentally exhausted. Three hours trying to make some small assumptions about my distant little brother, but he listened to everything. Rap, Pop, Rock, R&B, Classical, even some country tracks here and there. He literally listened to everything. Fast, slow, techno. Everything.

Was there nothing to give me insight into this boy? I lived in the room across from him for years and I couldn't think of one thing I knew about him except that his favorite color was black and he hated his family.

I went and put the mp3 player back into his backpack and decided to take care of some other business.

At one in the afternoon, the school was just as busy as I remembered. Student aids roaming the halls, students skipping class trying to avoid them, assistant principals on search and destroy missions. Principal Walker had read and heartily approved of my speech. Our meeting ended an hour ago, I had spent my time visiting my favorite teachers, hoping to run into my little brother. But he was nowhere to be seen.

----

Bryce

Fuck. I ducked behind the window in the door. Had she seen me? I peeked around and saw her still sitting and chatting away with my Calculus teacher. No. I was still safe. Fuck. What the hell was she doing here? Didn't this school have any security standards! I reached for my phone, but thought twice. I wasn't about to run, not from her. After all, we would be on the same campus next year. I was be bound to run into her eventually.

I leaned against the wall. Fuck. I hate surprises. Maybe I should call Lynn. I smiled at that. A little afternoon delight wouldn't be too amiss. But no, I didn't want to get into that habit. Lynn would be only too willing to indulge me.

Still, it was better I caught her than her catching me. Deep inside me, in places I hated to look at too closely, there was still some little boy that wanted to run to his older sister to hug and kiss his boo-boo's. But fuck that little boy. The rest of me wanted to slit his throat and call it mercy. Save him the pain when even that was taken away from him.

NO! NO, no no!!!! I wasn't that boy! I refused to be! I was past that. Past them. Past all of it.

I peeked in again, watching the students fawn over her as she helped answer questions. Mr. Richards was only too glad to have Alice 2.0 bless his classroom with her presence. It didn't matter though. None of it mattered. I walked past the door. That stupid little boy inside was hoping she'd see me and run out to hug me, but that man he'd grown up to be knew better. People like to think they're better than they are, but the truth is they're worse than they ever imagined.

But not me. I'm exactly who I want to be.

I breathed. It was the first time I had been able to take a real breath since seeing her. I walked past the door, uncaring, relaxed. She wouldn't chase me from here. She wouldn't chase me from myself. I had turned this place upside down and inside out where ever I was. I walked the hallways, head held high, proud. And not a single person dared to say anything to me. That was power. That was mine. That was something Adrian never had.

----

Alice

I left the school partly disappointed. I had hoped to see Bryce busily taking notes as I surprised him in his class, or sitting beneath the shade of one of my favorite old pecan trees studying to be the next Dr. Oz as I sat down next to him. Still, I had managed to make dinner plans with Virginia. She was in my grade back when I attended school here, now she was the principal's secretary as she studied to be a teacher in her own right.

I went home and soaked in my thoughts. When I had mentioned Bryce, she had tensed up. It was unnerving for someone who knew to look for it. It was a clear sign of fear. It was strange. And the restaurant she had chosen was upscale with a dress code. Expensive, too expensive on a secretary's salary.

I poured myself a glass of wine, Mom considered herself an expert on good wines and whines. Thinking that soaking was a good idea, I ran a good hot bath and sank into the water. Virginia looked the way I felt when Bryce caught me in his closet. Worried. Scared. Almost terrified when his gaze focused in on me. I was too close to his journals. To foreign and unwelcome in his environment. What had she gotten too close to?

Dinner was great. Then again, for $75 for a plate the size of my fist, it had better be the best chicken parmesan on the planet. And it was fun catching up with Virginia. We talked and chatted about what was going on with us for the last few years. She only had two more classes to take before she graduated and took the state licensing exam. And the school already had a job lined up for her when she was ready. Then she started in on me. I had to dodge a little bit when she asked me about my love life.

"Yes, I'm seeing someone." That was true.

"No, you don't know him." That was kind of true. I mean, can you really know anyone, really?

"Oh, he's wonderful." That was definitely true.

The real problem was she apparently still had Adrian on her radar and I had to work to keep my claws tucked in. "He's doing well, all business and everything. Oh, yes, he's seeing someone." I decided to change the subject. "So, how's my Bryce been doing?"

"B-Bryce, oh, well, you know you Brunson's, right," she laughed. But it wasn't an honest laugh, she was nervous.

"Well, where's he ranked in his class," I asked her.

"12 last time I looked. Still in the top ten percent though." She started pushing things around on her plate, anything to keep from looking at me it seemed. "So, what are your career plans," she asked, changing the subject.

"Well, I've still got a few more years of school to get through, but I'll probably try to join a practice in the city. Adrian," damn why did I bring him up again, "knows a few people out there he thinks can help me get started with internships and the like."

She laughed, "Of course he does. Adonis always did look after you. So is he coming down for your speech at graduation?"

"That and to see Bryce walk the stage."

She looked up at me. "What do you mean?" I looked at her confused. What did she think I meant. What other stage could I possibly be talking about? "He's not walking. He turned in his notice today that he wouldn't be attending."

"What?!" Suddenly, everyone turned to look at me. I lowered my voice back down, "Why would he do that?"

"No idea, but- "

"Don't accept it. He's walking. I guarantee it." I pulled out my wallet and laid the money for my part of the bill on the table. "I've gotta go, V. I'll call you later, okay."

"W-Wait, don't tell him you heard it from me!"

There it was again, that nervous fear in her voice. Her whole demeanor shifted. "What?"

She was staring at me, eyes wide open. "You can't tell him I told you."

"If you're worried about him telling the school on you..."

"No, it's just that... Well, Bryce... Just, just don't tell him I told you, okay?" She couldn't even make complete sentences.

"Okay, V. Don't worry. I won't tell him, I promise."

As I stood outside Bryce's room, I was glad she had stopped me. It had made me think, instead of just reacting. I would have driven home like a bat out of hell and demanded he walk across that stage. I mean, how could I give a speech about my brother graduating if he wasn't even there?!

But thinking like that was the reason I was on this side of a closed door feeling like I was about to invade some foreign country. I took a deep breath. This was about him. It was his graduation, and surely he had his own reasons. I needed to be understanding, willing to listen, and, maybe, hopefully, convincing. But understanding needed to come first.

After I knocked on the door, I heard him moving around, and then the click of the lock. "What," he asked as he opened it. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Just a pair of silk pajama bottoms. His hair still kind of wet from the shower. Wow, apparently my little brother was a little buff.

"Hey, can I come in? I think we need to talk."

----

Bryce

What now? I looked her up and down. Wow. She was wearing a short black dress that hugged her breasts and hips, high-heeled black shoes, with her hair in some sort of curly sexy up-do. She looked good. Really good. I leaned against the door frame, "And what would we need to talk about?"

"Can I come in?"

Whatever perfume she was wearing was absolutely delicious. But then, this was Alice. She was always beautiful. Alice 2.0. The Beauty and the Brains. Did I really want her in my room, again? "If I say no?"

"I'll keep bothering you. Mom and Dad will get involved. And Adrian will probably want to put in his two cents when he shows up."

That was definitely unacceptable. "Fine." I stepped out of the way so she could come in, then closed the door behind her. What the hell could we have to talk about? Maybe she heard about the Jose incident. That wasn't really my fault though. If Jose would have just shut his damn mouth. But no, he had to keep talking shit, like he was the big dog around this town. He wasn't talking like that anymore, though. I still couldn't get that girl's face out of my mind. Maybe I shouldn't have cut her up so badly. But it was really Jose's fault. He dragged her into this lifestyle, not me.