To Replace What Was Taen

I do not know how it happened. One day we were fine, the next everything was falling apart.

With mum's death, dad felling into drinking. I always remembered mum being sick ever since I could crawl. Cancer is what she got diagnosed with. A horrible disease. Of course, mum refused treatment. It was her strong belief that whatever happened in life happened for a reason. Served a purpose. I saw no purpose for her death, for her illness.

I do not know what I would have done if it were not for my three older brothers. Michael, the oldest, my protector. Damian, the middle, the serious one. Ralphael, my friend. Between Ralphael and me, there are seven years. I think it is because of that dad blames me for mum.

It was coming up to the eighth anniversary of mum's death. For the whole month, his drinking got worse and worse the closer the date came. I had just turned 18 and was still living with dad and Ralphael. Ralphael was there because I was. It was his turn this fortnight. A different brother would stay with me for two weeks before swapping over. All had their own lives. Houses, children, wives and fiancée.

This routine was wearing on all of us. I hated that my brothers were away from their lives. I hated having to grow up before I had to so someone was watching over dad. Even if it was from afar.

"Loo Loo? Loo Loo, where are you?" Ralphy called as he entered the house. I knew it was Ralphy due to it nearing 4 o'clock meaning dad would be arriving at our local bar.

"In the basement" I had been putting the washing on, when I heard the door open. As I entered the kitchen, I knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong Ralph? Dads not home." I do not remember ever seen any one of my brothers look this apprehensive.

"I know. It is I would feel better you not being here tonight. I am meeting some friends and do not want you here when dad returns." This made me worry. I had been alone with dad before but never a day before the anniversary date. This year was worse than any year so far.

Preparing myself for the last thing, I ever thought I would say. I gently replied. "Met with them. I will leave a note saying I went to a friends and will lock myself in my room." A few years ago dad got so violent that he broke my door. Michael, as a result, replaced a door with a stronger one and added several locks. "Ralphy go. I have you, Damian and Michael on speed dial."

Resolving to go, Ralph hugged me and placed a kiss on my forehead. "I am only going because I know you would force me to go."

An hour later Ralph left.

****

At 10 o'clock dad came through the door drunker then I have heard him. I was nearly asleep and heard him crash his way through the house until no noise remained and all was quiet again. It did not take me long to fall asleep.

****

It was last year that I came up with my plan to get my daughter pregnant. What my children did not know about their mother was how she refused treatment in the hope she would live long enough to deliver our fifth child. She never made it to fifth months.

I have been sober a year and my children never suspected a thing. Routine and knowing what I am like when I was drunk. I knew the boys have updated the house in a way that Louisa could be safe if they were not around. A year later and I am ready to act on my plan.

Locating my screwdriver, I went down the hall to my princess' room. Locks on a door are useless if you know anything about doors. It just so happens that is my job.

Disfiguring and removing the hinges, I slipped through the door. Louisa was asleep on her back making this task all the easier. Pulling of a prepared piece of duct tape, I placed it over her mouth.

****

Waking up because something unknown is over your mouth is scary. Waking up with something unknown over your mouth and your drunk dad looking down at you it ten time worse.

I tried to talk to him but it all came out as mumbles. While focused on my mouth, dad was securing my arms and legs to my bed.

"It'll be ok baby; everything is going to be ok. I know what I am doing." My dad said trying to calm me. "We, your brothers too, need to have a family chat. That can wait till morning, now that you cannot leave." After he simply turned and left.

****

I woke to yelling. I think it was Ralph and my dad, but could not be sure. As they came closer, I could hear everything they discussed.

"Why is Loo Loo like that? You are drunk still. I know today is hard but you need to stop drinking."

"Hard? You think it is hard for me. I lost your mother and could do nothing about it. Yes drinking was a poor choice on my part but I am sober a year. Here. Have a look at that. Call my sponsor"

I can only assume by the silence Ralph was seriously considering what dad had said.

"Dad, I am glad you are in AA, but why is Loo Loo tied to her bed?"

I closer they got to the door the more I heard.

"I was about to call you, Damian and Michael to come for a discussion. Your sister is tied because this is her decision and I did not want her to leave because I was home."

"Can I at least remove the duct tape and untie her now I am here? Please."

"Yes but allow me. I want to apologise."

As they stepped in I was reserved and curios as to what dad wanted to stay.

Dad came over to the side of my bed, knelt down and removed the tape.

"I am so sorry for scaring you, Angle. I thought if I told you I wanted to talk to you and your brothers you would listen. Can I remove the ropes and trust you to stay?" the sincerity is dads voice had me worried for a new reason.

"Yes I will stay and listen and I do forgive you."

With the ropes removed, I went and had a shower.

****

Two hours later bother Michael and Damian had arrived. Seated in the living room, looking at dad who was looking down. We waited for him to speak.

"Since your mother died I have been the worst father I could have been. What I am going to ask today will make those years look like nothing. Last year I started going to AA. I have been sober ever since then. Today marking one year. It was not until I went to AA, I realised why I was drinking. Your mother and I did not tell you everything about her illness. Yes, she refused treatment but not because of her belief. It was because she," dad stopped took a moment and continued. "It was because she was pregnant."

Before anyone could recover from the shock, dad continued.

"We were so happy when we learnt of her pregnancy but four months prior she had been diagnosed. It was either lose the baby or lose her. In the end I, we lost both. I tried to convince her that she should focus on getting better and we could have another child later, but she was so adamant that she keep the child. Every time I talked about it, her reply was 'it is my body; I will do what I want.' We always wanted a big family. Five children a least. We never anticipated we would struggle to conceive. That is why there is four years between Michael and Damian, six with Damian and Ralphael, seven with Ralphael and Louisa and ten with Louisa and Jerimiah."

Dad paused again. A tear escaped as he said Jerimiah. It was easy to tell that was the first time he had spoken his name.

"We first conceived young. She was fourteen, I eighteen. But we were together 35 years."

No one spoke for a long time. When someone did, it was Michael.

"Dad why not tell us?"

"I promised your mother. The last few days she had me promise her numerous times that I would not tell you about Jerimiah. I do not understand why she wanted it that way, but that is what I did."

This time I spoke up.

"Dad, what did you want to ask of me?"

"I am only 53. I can still give your mother the family she wanted. Do not get me wrong, she loved you all so much. I love you all so much. However, we loved the idea of siting around a table with five plus children and then the grandchildren. She would be so proud of you. All of you."

Dad paused again

"Dad, please stop procrastinating and tell us what you want Loo Loo to do." Damian spoke up for the first time.

"I want. Hum. I want you to have my child."

"But I am your daughter!" I exclaimed

"Yes you are. I would try, have tried to move on with another but I cannot. I love your mother so much. That will never stop. Louisa, my love, you are part of your mother. Half of you made comes from her. Some days you act how your mother would; you say what she would say, it is as if she is here again. Please think about it. I know what I am asking you and how it sounds." With that dad got up and left the room. Leaving behind four shocked children.

"Oh God. I did not see that coming. Am I still here? I feel like I am floating" I slowly spoke, still in shock.

"Yes, you're still here. What are we going to do? Asked Damian

"I do not know. I do not think we can make this decision today." Michael started before Ralphael chimed in.

"You are right about that. We cannot let Loo Loo stay here anymore though."

"Father might decide not to wait." Damian added.

"She can come with me." Michael responded as if the issue is settled.

"This has gone on long enough." I said standing up and facing the three of them.

"First of all, no. I am staying here. Second, this is not your decision. This is mine, solely mine. Shush." I said when I saw Michael go to interrupt. "We have to assume dad asked us all and not just me because he wants to do it the old-fashioned way. Besides, if I said yes and you saw us he knew you would all be pissed. The only thing you will have out of this is a new sibling. I will be nine months pregnant and giving birth and raising your sibling, my child. So I decide not you and if I say yes and you don't like it, well you'll have to find a way to get over it." With that, I left.

Walking into my room I stopped when I saw dad was there, at my desk. I walked over to him and realised he was looking at a picture of mum. Putting my arms around him, I held him.

"I miss her so much." With that dad started to cry. Lowering to the floor, we held each other, I rocking him, him clinging to me.

"Shush. It is ok. I know. I miss her too dad." I do not know how long we were like that but movement at the door caught my eye. Looking up I saw my brothers standing there, watching us. Feeling my head move dad looked up and noticed the three of them standing there. We were still holding each other when Michael came over and knelt down beside dad.

"We give you our blessing, if you still want another child and if you want Louisa to have that child."

With a rough voice dad said "thankyou" and put his head back down on my chest.

Michael rose nodded his head and all of them left.

****

Three days later, I arrived home from school with a decision made. When I walked in the door, I knew something was wrong. The power was out and it was eerily quiet. Pulling out my phone, I shoot a text to Michael, Damian and Ralphy. I simply put think somethings happened not sure. I had just sent it when I was grabbed from behind, a hand over my mouth, and dragged into dad's bedroom. When I entered, I notice dad tied to the bed, by his hands, with two men standing over him.

"Well this is a change of events. Thought you said you live alone." The biggest of the stated.

"I do. My daughter moved out last month." Dad tried to cover.

"Tie her to the bed. What are you waiting for?" the other one said he was smaller but taller that the first one. Obviously in charge

Tied up next to dad was when the reality of the situation sank in and I started to cry. Dad trying his best to comfort me.

The invaders spent the next hour going room-to-room looking for what it was that they wanted.

When they came back into the room, they rearranged their bags and were getting ready to leave when the front door opened. Together they left. I heard noise and shouting. When they returned it was with my brothers.

"Well look at what we found. Your children all came home to visit dad just to walk in on him being robed. At least your daughter was on time." The one in charge spoke.

I could tell an idea flashed through his head, by the smile he had.

"How old are you sexy." Sexy was overstating in my mind. Average height, average weight. 34c breasts with green eyes and long brown hair. I was by no means sexy.

Not looking at the men, I answered in a small scared voice. "Turned 18 three weeks ago."

"Perfect, we can have some fun." The bigger one said.

"There are three of us and five of you, so we are going to hold on to your sons while you have some fun with your daughter." The quiet one spoke for the first time.

"There is no way, you sick freaks." Dad shouted and tried to get loose.

"Daddy" my questioning tone had him looking at me.

"No that is different. I wanted that because I want your mother in some way again. This is just sick." Dad finished looking back at the robbers.

"No matter this is going to happen."

"You're going to have to make me." Retorted dad.

"It is either that or we tie or four of you up and we have some fun with her. On second thoughts,"

"NO" scream dad "I'll do it."

"Good choice" the bigger one replied handing over Ralphy to the quiet one and going over to where they had more rope. Tying each one of my brothers to a different chair that the leader had brought in, the quiet one untied dad and I before sitting down on the empty chair.

We looked at each other, unsure of how to begin before dad brought me into a hug kissed my forehead and apologised for doing it this way.

Dad had me lie down on my back then he lied down on my side so half his body covered mine. Raising his hand, he stroked my check while leaning in and kissing me. It was soft and hesitant as first but soon it was hot and heavy like horny teenagers. I parted my lips and his tongue slipped in and in courage me to play with his. We continued like this until we started running our hands over each other's bodies.

I had stopped paying attention to anyone else until I heard.

"This is so hot." One of them commented, I think the bigger one.

"Watch your sister and dad. This is turning you on." The one in charged also joined in.

"Boys if you don't watch I will use this knife, I got from your kitchen on your sister." The quite one said.

At the comment I tensed, dad noticed and tried to calm me down.

"Just focus on me. Focus on me and everything will be fine. Ok?"

I could only nod as my response.

We started kissing again. With our hands, still roaming I found the hem of dad's shirt and tried to remove it from his pants. Realising I was having trouble dad stopped, kneeled and removed it in one swift motion. It was not until three days ago I started to think of my dad as anything but and even then I never thought of his body is a sexual way. Now he was topless and I was amazed how good he looked at 53, toned and muscular. Before I realised, I was sitting up and my hand was reaching for his chest. As I was exploring his chest he moaned, what I thought was my mum's name, Rose.

I continued, this time looking at his face and he did it again. I knew what was happening. Eight years since her death, in their room, touching him like his. His body thinks that I am his Rose. He looked at peace in that moment. I allowed him to continue calling me Rose, encourage him.

"Yes, darling I am here."

"I missed you so much." Came out on a small sob.

"I am here now."

I continued on my exploration before stopping and removing my own top. Going to a Catholic all-girls school, the top was a simple white collared cotton blend. Realising my top was off; dad moved his hands to capture my covered breasts. Squizzing them and pinching the nipples. It was not long before he had pulled the cups down and continued without a hindrance. His exploration of my body was making me wet. As I started to lie down, I reached behind and unclipped my bra throwing it to the floor to join my top and his. Dad followed me down and once he was on top, we resumed kissing. With his hands between us playing with my breasts, my hands moved to his strong muscular back.

Getting more and more worked up as we continued, I wrapped my legs around his hip and started to grind against his covered groin. The friction between his zip and my covered pussy was amazing. Even this became frustrating. Not wanting to wait any longer dad simply undid the belt, unbuttoned and pulled the zip down on his jeans, forcing his jeans and boxers down to his calves. His erect cock sprung free hard and angry, easily 10 inches long, if not longer and 2 inches wide.

Not wasting any time and knowing I was wet enough, I pulled my modest panties to the side and guided his cock to my entrance. Removing my hand dad used his own to guide and rub his cock through my wetness causing me to moan each time he run over my clit. Giving the way I was acting you would think this was not my first time. I had even forgotten enjoying the sensations that were running through me. When he was ready dad lined up his cock and in one long continuous thrust, pushed his way in. I screamed, as he broke past my hymen but dad continued until he bottomed out.

That scream had everyone pausing, knowing what it meant.

"Hell yes. Take our own virgin daughter. This just got hotter." Shouted the bigger one

Dad looked up at me at that scream. Realising that I was not mother and seeing the tears running down my face, brought his hand up and whipped them away.

"I am so sorry baby. Why did you not tell me? I would have gone slower." Dad whispered into my hair.

"I was lost in the moment. You thinking it was mum, I wanted to give that to you." I replied through my horsed throat.

"Oh baby." Thinking he was going to stop, I jumped in. "don't stop. The pain is gone. Please continue, do not let me remember the pain."

Lifting his head and looking at me, dad started to kiss me as he started to move timidly in and out. As he started to move, the pain reared its head but just a quickly vanished. Slowly at first dad moved in and out. I felt so full and stretched. I was a new feeling and I loved it. A slow burn started in the pit of my stomach as I started to move my hip up to meet his thrusts. As I started to move more and more my moans got louder and louder and dad started to speed his thrusting to where our pelvises' were slamming together, rubbing on my clit at the same time.

"More, more." I threw my head back as I could feel my first explosion nearing. Dad must have realised to because he speed up, if that was even possible. Lowering his mouth to my neck, one simple lick was all it took and a convulsed around dads cock squeezing so tightly dad slowed his thrusting to become unnoticeable. "Oh Lord Oh God. Yes, yes that is it. Make me cum. Make your daughter cum on your cock. It is my cock now." "That is it princess, come for your daddy. Come around your daddy's cock." "OOOOOHHHHH, DDDAADDDDDDYYYYYYY." When I relaxed dad resumed his pace to where it hard been prior. His pelvis slapping my now sensitised clit had my head thrashing side to side. I could feel myself building again and could not believe it.

I felt his cock jerk within me and knew he was nearing his own release. This time as I came around him I dug my nails into his back. "Yes, oh good God yes." I screamed. "Daddy, oh God daddy, not again. OH YES, I AM CUMMMMMMIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG." This release caused him to trust in one final time, bottoming out as his cock started spurting within me. Spurt after spurt of hot cum shot from him deep into me. I was in heaven. "TAKE IT, TAKE MY SPERM BABY. Oh yes, I am cumming too. Cum around me. YYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSS" I never thought it would be like this for me. All my friends hated their first time. Mine made me want another hundred firsts.