As always, all characters are 18+. Another thank you to R.P for editing the story. Enjoy!
*****
I sat silently throughout the entire flight. Due to the shock I felt, I couldn't say anything. My mind was cluttered with the things that had happened in the past few hours. I should be happy. Right? We're not actually related. But...I'm not my mother's daughter? Why didn't they tell us?
I had millions of questions going through my mind. And from the tense look I saw on Nate's face when I turned to look at him my dad hadn't told him yet. My mom sat there, looking broken and trying not to cry.
There was total silence; silence when we got our luggage; when we got shuttled to our car; when we got in the car. And everything within the car was still on the drive home from the airport.
About half way through I felt a hand touch mine. Not even bothering to notice it was Nate's I took it away and stared out the window, rethinking my entire life.
I'm the daughter of some rich asshole, who could also be a criminal. And I've spent my entire life stealing from men and women like him. I'm supposed to be one of them. Fuck! Who the hell am I?!
When we pulled up to the house, it didn't feel like home anymore. My parents weren't my parents; my room won't really be my room. Was my name even my birthname?
The only person I knew to be real and true was Nate. And only then because we just started an affair, not because I was used to him being my brother. And even then, in the back of my mind a voice was saying, He's just a stranger you happened to grow up with.
I was the last one to leave the car. I found myself facing towards town instead of home.
"Anya?" Nate tried to take my hand. I withdrew and looked at him.
"I-I...I can't be here right now," I breathed. I couldn't even find my fucking voice!
"Baby, please come inside." I turned my attention to my mom's shaky voice.
"I'm not your baby!" I snapped at her. "I'm not your baby," I repeated less harshly. My voice got stuck again and I couldn't stay still anymore. I needed to move. I started walking away.
"Anya?" Nate called out, confused. I stopped, only for a moment, to look at him. His face...his worried and confused face. Seeing it broke my heart. I didn't know what to do. I marched up to him and gave him my lips. He froze for a moment, still not knowing the truth and surprised by my unapologetic boldness.
"I'll come back," I whispered. "I promise." He looked down at me.
"An," he whispered, taking me by the hips. "What's going on?" There was total confusion on his face and in his voice. I looked toward my par...Wayne and Marge.
"Ask them," I answered curtly. I turned and walked away, tears staining my cheeks. I was walking away from the love of my life. And it was breaking my heart.
****
I stared into the peppermint tea, a complimentary beverage provided by the local cafe/book store that I had fallen in love with right after I had started the reading phase of my life. I had gone there to use one of the computers for research into who I really was...or into who my mom actually was. But firstly, it would be hard to even begin without names. And secondly, I was still debating whether I really wanted to know more or not. I had taken my tea out to the sidewalk cafe to think.
"Anya?" I heard a voice. I turned my head to see...Jesse!
"Get the fuck away from me!" I hissed with a terrifying calmness that even scared myself. He should have been scared...I should have been scared. I had no clue what I'd do if he made me snap at that moment. He put his hands up.
"I'm sorry for the way I acted," he said. "I really am."
"Not accepted," I replied, still sounding dangerously calm. "Get out of my face."
"I think you need to know...Nate had some pretty messed up drawings..." he began.
"Of me?" I interrupted, not caring what he had to say about it. "On a jump drive? Yeah, I know. And I fucked him for it." When I looked back at him, he looked horrified.
"That's si...!" he began, but stopped.
"Sick?" I finished for him. "Wrong? Would it be better if I said he fucked me? No? That's worse, isn't it?" I had never done anything like this before. The angry words I wanted to say so badly were being said to him rather than to my journal. I knew I shouldn't be taking my frustrations out on Jesse. But it was as if I couldn't stop myself. Once the words started spewing forth, they wouldn't stop.
"Or is this fucked up conversation turning you on because you're a borderline rapist?" I spat at him.
"You're the one sleeping with your brother..."
"He's not my brother," I growled. "There. It's out. Those three simple words make it all okay. Don't they?" His expression changed from horrified and offended to one of utter confusion.
"Oh, wait," I said as if a sudden thought had occurred to me. "They don't really...because now I have no idea who the fuck I am!" I laughed sarcastically. After a long moment of silence, I realized how ridiculous I was being.
"You're one fucked up bitch, Anya." He tried to walk past me. I tripped him before grabbing his shoulder and aiming his fall towards the pavement. He hit the pavement with a sound that brought me some satisfaction. He looked up at me, surprised and pissed off.
"I know." I calmly grabbed my tea and walked away again. It was then I saw a police officer shouting at me and starting to come over. I reluctantly put my tea down, still feeling pissed.
"Fuck me!" I shouted before sprinting in the opposite direction, up the hill towards an alleyway. Out of nowhere a cruiser's siren started blaring. I turned to see the officer now shouting in a different direction. I stopped, dumbfounded by the scene playing out before me. The police cruiser was rolling down the hill, the siren still blaring. It appeared someone had turned the siren on and released the parking brake. Just as it dawned on me who it might have been, Nate came into sight, rushing up towards me.
"Okay," he panted. He took my arm and guided me into the alleyway, taking a couple turns so if the officer came looking he wouldn't be able to find us. After we took a second to look around, he pulled me to him, kissing the life out of me...or perhaps into me.
"Listen to me," he said sternly. "You're still a part of this family, no matter what. So what if we took you? So what if you're not blood related? 'Blood is thicker than water' is supposed to mean that the family you identify with the most is more important than who gave birth to you." He continued to look into my eyes, holding me tightly, hoping his words would penetrate the bitterness I felt.