There were two rules for the annual family camping trip: everyone had fun, and absolutely no sex.
The first wasn't so much a rule as it was a parenting tactic. Every time Kyle or I would get upset or whine about something small (as children sometimes do), they'd remind us about that we were supposed to have fun. It was, after all, a rule. Most of the time, it worked. At least until we got old enough to know better.
That's about the time when the second rule was established. Kyle and I came up with it once we realized why we were constantly being sent to gather more firewood, even though we wouldn't have gone through the stack we had already. Our rule was mostly tongue in cheek, but at the same time, we didn't want to think about our parents fucking.
This year would be the first trip where the first rule wouldn't be a problem for me, and the second most definitely would.
It was also quite possibly the last time I'd be able to come along, for a while at least. Somehow, we'd found a way to get to the same site, one nestled deep in the foothills around Mount Shasta, ever since I was just a little girl. I remembered exploring the virgin woods; following the rivers and streams until they ended in ponds or waterfalls; finding secret places that were entirely my own.
Even when I was away at college, we still found a way. We timed the trips to my school breaks. Sometimes traditions change, but the meaning behind them doesn't.
After graduation, I had tried to follow my dreams. I pictured myself applying my newfound business acumen to the nonprofit world, making a modest living helping others. It turns out, that's a pretty tough way to make a living. So, at the beginning of the next tourist season, I would be packing up my modest belongings and moving to GuarujΓ‘ with Catalina.
It wasn't hard to tell that Catalina was excited. To date, she had sent me a one plane ticket, a notice that my ticket had been upgraded (Business Class? I didn't even know there was such a thing), two maps of the island (one with several red circles and scrawled notes on the sides), pictures of my fully furnished bedroom, and thick packets of miscellaneous legal paperwork related to the relocation and the job.
I felt like I should have been excited, too, but the idea of leaving my life behind only filled me with dread. The idea of leaving Kyle behind was somehow even worse.
We all rode in together, just like we have every year since I was a little girl. Dad drove; Mom was in the passenger seat; Kyle and I sat in the back. We shared brief, furtive looks. I could tell he was just as eager as I was. I knew I'd be fucking him during the trip... I just wasn't exactly sure how. With our parents around, it was going to be difficult to find the opportunity.
When we got to the site, we all immediately fell into our old roles. For Mom and myself, that meant setting up the tent and arranging the sleeping areas. I laid out the sleeping bags, making sure the zippers on my and Kyle's opened towards each other, just in case.
For Dad and Kyle, that meant unloading the vehicle; splitting firewood; moving stones and logs out the way to ensure a comfortable clearing. Last year, I hadn't noticed how Kyle's muscles rippled under his skin or how his firm ass looked in his jeans. This year, I couldn't focus on anything else.
"Ally?"
Mom's voice. My heart leapt into my throat. Had she caught me staring? Was I staring? I quickly averted my eyes, pretending that I had been scanning the tree line for whatever reason.
"Mmm?" I replied. "Sorry, what?"
Kyle heard, as well. He seemed to know that he had been distracting me. There was a barely perceptible smirk on his lips as he slowly bent over to pick up another freshly cut log. He wasn't making it easy on me, and I was sure he knew it.
"Are you going to hammer in that stake, or are you hoping it'll sink in on its own?" Mom asked.
Embarrassed, I realized that I had been merely holding onto the mallet. No, 'holding' wasn't exactly right. It was more of a delicate, yet firm, grip on the handle. What's more, I also realized that I had been lightly stroking the surface with my finger. Oops.
"Just enjoying the fresh air," I lied. "You know how my mind wanders." That part was true.
"Hey, Ally," Kyle said, saving me from my embarrassment. "Remember that tree we found years back? The one with all the names carved in it?"
"Yeah," I replied. I vaguely did. It was a few miles north of our site. A tall, strong tree in a clearing mostly obscured by dense growth. Over the years, people had decided it was the perfect place to carve their names and leave a very small mark on the world.
"We should check it out later. See if it's still there." Translation: let's go somewhere to fuck.
"Sure," I replied. Noncommittal. Cool. Translation: God, yes. Our eyes met for a moment; his smirk was back. It was a look he wore well.
"That sounds interesting," Mom added. "Mind if we tag along?"
Kyle's smirk turned into disappointment. I could only imagine what was showing on my own face. But Dad agreed and before I knew it the four of us were hiking towards some tree that I couldn't care any less about, which may or may not even still be there. Looks like half of us, at least, were following the "no sex" rules.
The tree was still there, just as I remembered it. The grass around it was soft and dry; it would have been a perfect place to fuck my brother. Such a lost opportunity! Countless names had been carved into the bark. Some made sense- they were names and dates. Initials. Small hearts with arrows shooting through them. Others were nonsensical words like "milkdank," whatever that meant. Someone else had drawn a crude image of two stick figures having sex. It would have all been very interesting if I didn't have much more pressing matters on my mind.