The Wae

"Good fucking riddance!" Joseph said, being sure to relay every bit of disgust he could muster through the phone. "I'm glad the bastard's outta here."

"C'mon, JJ," Jennifer said. "I know you two didn't get along all that well, but she really did love him."

"Love him? Give me a break, Jen," he said. "She made it quite evident in who she wanted to be a part of her life and it wasn't me."

"As I recall, you were the one that left, JJ," Jennifer interjected.

"Because he forced me to leave. You were there - you saw and heard the whole thing. And she let it happen. She didn't say a word - she just let it happen. I love her and I always will but she never stood up for me and she let that fucker kick me out," Joseph countered. "And he never let me come back. And swore that I'd never come back!"

"I know, JJ, I know," Jennifer said, trying hard to make sure Joseph felt the sympathy and empathy she was feeling. "But mom really hopes you can make it. It's been five years, JJ. Five years."

"Yeh, I know," Joseph said, resigned to the thought that he really did miss seeing his family. "I'll see what I can do. I miss you and mom but I'm not making any promises. I couldn't stand to be around him in life, and even now that the idiot's dead, I can't even stand to be around his dead corpse."

"Well, I hope you can get past all of that and come home. For mom. And for me. I love you JJ and I hope to see you soon."

"Bye, Jen," he said as he hung up the phone.

Joseph Jordan, or "JJ" as he was known to those closest to him, thought about his next move. Jennifer, or "Jen", was right. He knew he needed to come home and support his mother in her time of need. But the animosity and anger and sheer disgust he felt for his now-deceased stepfather was overwhelming. Janice, his mother, had met Morgan when JJ was 17 and the relationship was rocky right from the outset. Janice thought that Morgan's powerful, headstrong personality would mesh well with JJ, but she quickly learned that having two strong-willed men around in the same house was like pouring kerosene on a bonfire. Even after they married a year later, she thought things would get better but having Morgan under the same roof with JJ was disastrous. JJ tried his best to accommodate and step back for his mother's sake but every time he stepped back, Morgan saw it as an act of weakness and attacked JJ even more. Then, the day after his 19th birthday, JJ had enough. The argument had turned violent, leaving Morgan with a permanent limp and JJ with scars, both physically and emotionally. JJ left and vowed never to return.

And now, it was five years later and JJ had made a great life for himself. He had moved east and settled in Chicago. He had built a great life for himself from literally nothing and now was an assistant producer for a major television studio and a major player in the industry. And although he thought about his mother and sister often, he never let the thoughts linger long enough to get melancholy. But that phone call was a bit too much and he now found himself alone in his flat, looking for answers.

*****

As he exited the airport and hailed a taxi, JJ thought, "I should just turn around right now and go back home. They can't blame me for not coming back here. She hasn't even said a word to me in five years - she had Jen relay everything to me cause she was too damn afraid of Morgan. What the fuck! I should go back home." But as the taxi pulled up next to him, he knew he had to see her, to make true peace and to share with his family.

*****

The house was just as he remembered - large and overbearing. And it was packed with people, all there to lend their condolences and well wishes to the family. As he walked in thru the front door, JJ recognized some faces, but there were three times as many that he didn't know. He made his way over to the bar and made himself a drink and continued scanning the room.

After about 10 minutes, he left a tap on his shoulder and turned around. "Glad to see you could make it, son," Paul Lummis said. Paul was a long time family friend and the one man JJ could talk to when times had gotten rough. He'd been the only father figure JJ had ever known.

"I've missed you, too." JJ put his drink down and gave Paul a big hug, the kind of hug that needed no words but conveyed every bit of gratitude and love.

"And I've missed you too, Paul," JJ said. "How have you been?"

"I'm doing okay. Things have been steady. I've been keeping up with you, too. You're doing some really good work out there in Chicago. I'm proud of you. You're mother's really proud, too."

"Funny - she's never said a word of that to me," JJ retorted. "And that fucking low-life did all he could to make sure of that."

Hey, hey now son, I'm not the enemy here," Paul said. "No need to get out of sorts."

"I'm sorry, Paul. It wasn't directed at you. I know you aren't the enemy. Hell, you've been the only thing like a father to me I've ever known. Old wounds, you know? I don't like being back in this house. I almost got back on the plane and went back home."

"Well you are home now, son," Paul said solemnly. "And you need to go find your mother." Paul started looking around.

"I will, Paul. I will," JJ said, picking back up his drink. "I just need a bit more time. It took a lot to even set foot back in the driveway."

"I understand, JJ. Really, I do. Take your time." With that, Paul patted JJ on the back and went back into the crowd.

JJ found a chair and sat down, continuing to scan the crowd. As he looked around, the figure of a woman caught his eye and he was floored. "Damn," he said to himself. "I wonder who that is." The woman had her back to him and was at an odd angle but he could make out her amazing shape all too well. Even in the black dress, he knew she had a stunning body. Her legs and calves were amazing and the swell of her chest signified there was a major amount of tit flesh hiding underneath the material. JJ was also thrown at the fact that this was obviously an older woman - a much older woman. Her silver hair was cut fashionably short and JJ found it extremely attractive. JJ found himself getting an erection and he took a long gulp of his drink in an effort to help keep it bay. And as he stood up to pour himself another drink, the woman turned around and the two happened to make eye contact. JJ was stunned. It was Janice. His mother.

---

As the two stood there looking at each other, they were both frozen, unmoving. It had been five long years since he had last laid eyes on her and he almost didn't recognize her. Well, in fact, he didn't recognize her until he saw her face. She was a totally different woman from the one he remembered. This was still his mom, but at the same time, it wasn't. His mother had always been a very beautiful lady and JJ even saw that fact as he grew up. But the woman he was looking at now was a complete stunner. The emotions inside of him were twisted in complete knots - although he didn't know who she was at first, JJ couldn't believe he'd sprung a boner for his own mother. But the fact remained that he was completely taken by this woman standing 20 feet from him and found her to be absolutely enticing.

After what seemed an eternity, she finally started walking toward him. JJ wanted to move but he couldn't. His legs felt like lead weights and he was stuck in that one spot. As she got closer, he could see her eyes were welled up with tears and her lip was trembling.

"Oh, JJ. I'm so glad you're here. I've missed you so, so much," Janice said as the tears silently made her way down her cheeks. She reached out her arms.

JJ finally stepped towards her and embraced her in a long, deep hug. "I've missed you too, mom," he whispered, hugging her tightly.

The tears were flowing more freely now. "JJ, my sweet JJ. I'm so, so sorry for all of those things that happened ..."

"Shhhh. It's okay, mom. Really, it's okay. I'm here for you. All of that stuff is long since past. It's okay."

Janice was bawling now, sobbing heavily into his shoulder. The crowded room fell near silent as they all turned to watch the moment between Janice and her son. Many of them knew the backstory and for those, this moment made them well up with tears as well. Slowly, one by one they made their way out of the room into other area of the house in order to give them time for themselves.

The two stood there for a long time. Eventually, Janice was able to calm herself down. She pulled away from JJ and walked over to the bar to grab something to wipe her face.

"I'm sorry for that. Things have just been so bad lately," she started to explain, dabbing her eyes with the napkins she took from behind the bar.

"There's no need to try to explain anything to me mom. I know it's been hard."

"No dear," she said. "You don't know the half of it. But now's not the time to unload all of my grief on you. I'm just so happy you're home. Jen's going to be so grateful to see you."

"Where is she anyway?" he asked.

"She's on her way. She's taking care of some last minute things before the funeral. She should be here a bit later. She told me about your conversation the other day. I knew you'd come but I didn't expect you till much later tonight. I didn't think you'd want to be around all of these people."

"You're right - I don't," JJ said. "But like I said, I'm here for you, mom. For you and Jen. Not all of these people. And certainly not for that asshole. Fuck the fact he was your husband and I know you loved the dog. And I know he took care of you and Jen. But he was never a father to me and I'll never see him as such."

Janice walked over to her son and hugged him. "I know, dear. And I'm sorry for all of the turmoil you had to endure because of him. I should have never let things get to the point that they did. You have no idea how bad I felt, and still feel about that."

"So why didn't you ever say anything, mom?" JJ asked, stepping back from his mother's arms. "Why did you allow that fucking loser to run our lives like that? Big deal he was some wealthy big shot - we were already wealthy without his money. My real father left us plenty - damn shame he died before I could even walk. But even in his death, we were well taken care of. What did this bastard ever do? What did he ever do to help enrich this family? We were doing just fine till he came along! And you just stood by and let it happen!"

JJ felt his emotions starting to get the better of him and noticed that he was raising his voice. He quickly throttled it down and poured himself another glass to calm down.

"I'm sorry," he said, after taking a long gulp. "Now's not the time for that. Is shouldn't have yelled. Hell, I shouldn't even be here."

Janice walked over to him. "Shhhh - don't say that. This is your home. And it was your home before Morgan ever set foot in it. And you have every reason to be upset. It was all my fault and you have no idea how I've beaten myself up over it. I look at myself everyday and wonder what went wrong."

She sat down, fighting back tears again. JJ went over and sat down beside her.

"What are you talking about? What's been going on?" he asked. He knew this was more than just about the fight five years ago. He had a feeling that this was something much, much deeper.

"Oh JJ. I told you now is not ..."

"Damn that, mom," he snapped. "Now is the time. I want to know what's been going on. I've been gone too long. You need to tell me what's been going on and what that idiot did to you."

Just then, Jennifer walked into the room. JJ looked at his sister and he felt his heart leap in his chest. He'd missed her terribly. He stood up and she ran over to him, throwing herself in his arms. The tears were flowing down her face, as she felt so elated to see her kid brother.

"I knew you'd make it," she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. She began showering him with kisses all over his face and forehead. "I'm so glad you're home."

JJ pulled back with a little chuckle. He'd always felt embarrassed when she did that to him and even at 24 years old, he still felt like a little 10-year-old kid. The trio shared a laugh and the tension left the room. JJ stepped back and looked at the two of them. They looked so much alike. JJ thought they looked startling alike. He was sure to probe that later. But for now, he was just glad to be back between the two women in his life he loved more than life itself.

---

It was nice to be back in his old room. It felt oddly comfortable - odd to JJ since he had placed his head and heart so dead-set against ever feeling anything for this place again. The house was quiet now. All the guests had left and the only other people in the house were his mother and the housekeeper (in her own quarters out by the pool house). His sister had to leave and take care of some more business and he had planned to leave himself a bit later. He just didn't feel ready to spend the night in the house and his mother understood. They made a plan to meet in the morning for breakfast. But Janice wanted to speak with him at length before he left for the night. So while she made some calls, he had come up to his room to look around.

As he looked thru his things, he was surprised that his room had been left virtually untouched when he left (he later found out that his mother was very insistent on his room being kept off limits). He came across a picture of the three of them at a picnic when he was 18 and the thought came back to mind about just how much he'd noticed how their bodies had changed. While his sister's figure wasn't that dramatic - she was still of medium build but he did notice she had filled out a bit - his mother's figure had changed drastically. Comparing the woman in the picture to the woman that was downstairs, they were two completely different women. He took a long drink from the bottle of wine he had with him.

Janice was always a fairly "robust" woman; she wasn't obese or fat or anything like that, but she could have been fairly described as "big-boned" or having a "healthy figure." The woman that he saw earlier, however, was something out of a movie. Janice had always had big breasts but what she was carrying now were absolutely humongous to JJ - easily the largest he'd ever been around. He couldn't see through the dress but judging from the condition of her legs that he saw, he knew that her body was more toned, more fit. Her face even seemed to be a bit younger and it while he knew that she had to have work done, someone that didn't know her would've never been able to tell.

As he looked through more of the items on his desk, he heard his mother raising her voice and yelling. He left his room and quietly walked down the stairs. He sat down on the bottom step and tried to listen in on the conversation but was unable to clearly understand the nature of the call. What he did determine, though, that whomever was on the other line had really upset his mother. He heard her slam down the phone and quietly start to sob. He stood up and peek around the corner and saw her sitting on the sofa, phone on the table in front of her next to a large bottle of wine and a half-full glass. She picked up the glass and swallowed the rest before pouring herself another. The room was a bit dark, lit only by the fire in the fireplace and a single lamp in the corner. The room felt both romantic and gloomy at the same time. JJ could tell she'd been drinking a bit. He walked into the den, sitting down beside her on the sofa. He put his arm around her.

"Who was that? What's wrong?" he asked.

Janice quickly wiped her face. "I feel like such a fool. I've done enough crying today for a lifetime. It was nothing. Just trying to clear up some matters dealing with Morgan."

"Apparently these matters are pretty bothersome if they've got you crying. The woman I know wouldn't shed a tear if it weren't something that really bothered her. So what's the deal? And you might as well spill it since you know I'm not going to stop until you tell me."

"Oh JJ - just as headstrong as ever. I never could keep anything from you," she said. She took another sip of wine and snuggled closer to him. "It feels good for you to be back home. This is where you belong." She started to cry again.

JJ pulled his mother closer. "Ok, ok, enough of all that crying," he said, trying to ease her.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just been so awful..." she said, burying her face into his chest.

Even as he sat there trying to comfort his mother, JJ couldn't help but notice her body again. Her dress had ridden up a bit and was showing much more leg than earlier. He found himself admiring the way her legs looked and once again, felt that same feeling he had felt earlier before he knew it was her mother he was looking at. He also had the distinct vantage point of being able to look right down the barrel of her dress into the vast canyon of cleavage. He needed to get his mind off of that and fast.

----

"So who was on the phone?" he asked. "What got you so upset?"

Janice calmed down a bit and sat up, grabbing her handkerchief and wiping her face. She took a long drink of wine and sat back into his arms.

"Things weren't always great, JJ. Morgan was a good man, but he had a lot of flaws - and I know you are very well aware of them. It wasn't long after you left that things started to change. He was very good in taking care of me financially, but emotionally, things became strained. It wasn't just because you had left, but things between he and I just didn't seem to mesh. Long story short, he lost interest in me and he started seeing other women. I tried to make things right and I tried to do things to spice things back up - I wanted it to work. I really did love him and part of me still does. But he turned very abusive to me emotionally. That call was from one of his mistresses."

"Huh? One of? How many were there?" JJ asked.

"Three that I know of. All much younger, prettier," she said, not hiding her displeasure.

"I highly doubt that. You're gorgeous, mom," JJ said. He felt odd in saying it but it was very true to him - in every sense of the word. He continued to stare down into her cleavage and started to feel himself harden. He quickly tried to get back tot he topic at hand. "So what was the call about?"

"She wanted money. That's the only real reason they wanted to have anything to do with him. Little do they know that he squandered his money in bad investments. The one smart thing I ever did was that I never let him near my finances." JJ was relieved to hear that as she continued. "And I am especially glad that I spend any of my own money on this." She sat up and opened her arms as if presenting herself to an imaginary audience.

"What do you mean?" JJ knew full well what she was talking about but he had to play it cool. She shifted a bit in his seat, trying to hide the not so subtle bulge that had now formed in his crotch.

"C'mon JJ. You're a grown man. I know you've noticed how I've changed. I know it's been five years but you have to admit I'm not the same person you saw when you left."

With that, Janice stood up and put her hands on her hips, turning slowly around showing herself off.

"Your mother got herself a complete makeover and turned herself into a hottie," she chuckled. JJ was happy to see her laugh.

"I'm not going to lie, mom. I have noticed. And you look amazing."

"Well at least someone thinks so, even if it is my own flesh and blood. And I can see that I can at least get a rise out of a man." She nodded down to his crotch. JJ blushed a bit and quickly tried to adjust himself.

Janice let out a little chuckle. "Don't be silly. You're a grown man. And you are very handsome and obviously very observant. I sure I've got nothing that you haven't seen on your girlfriends. Too bad Morgan never noticed. He never noticed anything. He didn't even notice these. Do you have any idea how big these are now?" She grabbed her boobs with both hands and lifted them up and down for emphasis. "I went from a DD cup to a damn KK! You believe that? And it's not just my tits. I got tucked here and lifted there - all to make myself more appealing to him. And he never even once touched me!"