I never married and that may partly explain the things that happened with my son John. As a girl, I was not particularly pretty, yet I found myself asked out on more dates than some of the best looking girls in the school. I was naïve and thought the boys liked my friendly personality, but a jealous classmate set me straight one day.
"It's your tits they like," she hissed in my ear when I told her about my date with a boy she had a crush on.
God blessed me with an hourglass figure, perhaps to compensate for my lack of looks. Like my sister, I am over-endowed upstairs. I also have a shapely behind and long, attractive legs. After what my classmate said, I began to observe the pattern of my dates. I realized that once a boy had seen what he wanted to see, he either lost interest or kept me on the down-low.
When I realized that boys who seemed so excited to date me were only curious about my body, I was very hurt and disillusioned. Then at age 18, I became pregnant. The boy's parents forbade him from seeing me when they found out and soon after he graduated high school, they left town.
John was born when I was nineteen. After that, I did a library degree and became a librarian. I poured all my energy into raising John and working to support him. I swore off men. I became entirely self-supporting and I was happy to remain single. I had my freedom with no man to tell me what to do. My world shrank to myself and my son.
John was never an A student, but he did well enough in elementary and middle school. Then, in his last year of high school, when he was eighteen, his grades dropped steeply. I was concerned, as any parent would be, for my son's future. As luck would have it, my sister Glenda was the guidance counselor at John's school and I asked her to talk to him and see what she could find out.
The day after their interview, I called her and she asked me to come to her office. I took the afternoon off work and went to the school. Glenda came out and escorted me into her office. I asked her what they had talked about.
"Of course," Glenda said, "what passed between John and I is confidential. You are my sister and I want to help, but I can only talk in general terms. OK?"
"Fine," I said, "I appreciate any information you can give me."
"Well first of all," Glenda began, "John is becoming a young man and he is interested in the opposite sex. Perhaps you can tell me something. Has John had many dates?"
"No," I said, "it's sad, but the girls he likes don't seem interested in him."
My sister nodded. We both knew what the problem was and it was something we had all inherited to some degree. Like me, my sister has a fabulous figure, but not much in the way of looks. As a girl, she was wild and even slutty, but unlike me, she married the first man who asked her. He turned out to be an alcoholic and a less-than-faithful husband, but she stayed with him, perhaps out of desperation. They never had children and she seems to satisfy her maternal instincts in her career, working with young people.
"Yes," she said, "John is aware that he does not attract the girls he wants to date, and that depresses him. So one part of his academic problem is that he is depressed and he obsesses about girls all the time."
"What's the other part?" I asked, curious.
"Well this is a little more difficult to talk about, but it involves you, so I am going to tell you," Glenda said, looking at me and then looking away.
Her demeanor made me nervous. "How am I involved?" I asked.
"Well," my sister said, "John has urges like all teenage boys and they're not being satisfied in the usual way. You two are alone a lot and it seems his attention has become focused on you."
"What do you mean?" I asked, still not sure what she was getting at.
Glenda sat up straight and stuck out her chest. She smoothed her dress down over her large breasts.
"This sort of thing," she said, "can become an obsession for young men. Perhaps you remember how it was for us in high school. Boys were all over us."
"Ok," I said, "but how does that concern John?"
Then I realized what she meant.
"My God!" I exclaimed, "Do you mean John is looking at me in that way?"
"That's it, I'm afraid," Glenda said, "In the absence of a girlfriend, you have become the focus of his urges and you're distracting him from his studies."
"Well what am I supposed to do about that?" I asked dejectedly. I was totally at a loss.
"The strange thing is," she said, "He is attracted to me too. You and I are so alike physically and the whole time he was in my office, I noticed him looking at my body."
"What can we do about this?" I said.
"I know," Glenda said, "It's a dilemma. On the one hand, we don't want to encourage these desires. They're natural, but they're incestuous. On the other hand, we want him to succeed and if he doesn't get some relief, he may flunk high school."
"This is very upsetting," I said, "I can't think of a solution," I looked at her desperately, "What do you suggest Glenda?"
Glenda gave me a searching look.
"How would you feel if I invited John over to my house this week end? David's gone on business for two weeks, so we'd be alone. I can help him with his studies, and it may also help him to talk more openly about his feelings in a relaxed environment."
"That sounds great Glenda!" I said, "Thank you so much! You are a lifesaver. If you need anything, just let me know, I'll be happy to provide groceries, John has a big appetite."
"Oh that's ok," Glenda said, "I'll enjoy cooking for him, no worries."
And so, that weekend, I drove John to Glenda's house and dropped him off with his books and an overnight bag.
On the Sunday night, Glenda dropped him off again. He looked different, and his attitude had changed for the better. Normally rather quiet, John seemed to have gained confidence and he was certainly in a good mood. I was delighted. I decided Glenda must have used her counseling skills on John and it had worked.
Next time I saw Glenda, I congratulated her warmly. "I don't know what you did with John," I said, "but the difference is amazing. I don't want to pry, but can you tell me what you guys talked about?"
