Part 02 – Revelation
"What's that on the back of your neck and ear? Looks like a smudge. It's something green..."
I froze in the doorway of kitchen, feeling my shoulders slump. Fuck! I didn't finish wiping off the Frankenstein make-up. I was dead cold busted.
I turned to face Kara to see her reaction. After hours of thinking about how this encounter would go, I still didn't feel prepared. I had hoped that it would've taken longer for her to figure things out or that maybe she never figured it out at all. I had seriously dropped the ball not checking myself in a mirror before coming home. I had no one but myself to blame for this.
As I meet her gaze, she was reaching toward my collar, attempting to wipe off what she saw. It was an innocent gesture. In that moment I realized that she still didn't know. All she saw was just something smudged on the back of my head. She had no reason to suspect anything else.
However, my own guilty thoughts carried over to body language and betrayed me. If I had been thinking quickly, I could have played it off. I could have made up some story about something that had happened at the imaginary restaurant where she thought I worked. I didn't know I had been presented with an out until it was too late.
Kara wiped off a the smudge of green make-up from my neck. At first, she didn't put the pieces together. She saw nothing out of place other than an unkept brother. But then she saw my face and the look of fear and shame in my eyes. Her brow furrowed, puzzled, as she wondered why I looked so terrified. She looked down at her fingers that had cleared the green make-up off of my skin.
Then her eyes widened as a realization swept over her. The pieces fell into place in her mind. She looked back up at me, her own face twisted with shock. "Frank?" She said in voice barely above a whisper.
I didn't answer. I couldn't say anything. I was watching her begin to figure what had happened today and my own guilt left me speechless. Yes, she may have been my ultimate desire, but she was also my sister. Fuck toy aside, I still loved her as family and I had broken a sacred bond of trust.
She had been holding a small saucer of cut fruit and when her understanding of the big picture hit. Her grip faltered and the plate fell to the floor, shattering.
The crash of the breaking plate made me wince. "I'm sorry," I said weekly.
I studied her face, looking for signs of what emotion was about to come lashing out at me but I couldn't read her. I got no vibe at all from her.
Without saying anything, she simply turned her eyes away from me and walked out of the kitchen. Seconds later, I heard the door to her room close. I wasn't even given the odd satisfaction of hearing it slam.
I knew better than to follow her. Just as I needed time to think earlier, she needed her space now. I stayed in the kitchen and cleaned up the shards of the broken ceramic and scattered chucks of apples and oranges.
I stood alone in the kitchen for a long time wondering if I should, in fact, try to go talk to her but decided go with my first instinct and leave her to herself. I finally returned to my room and lay on my bed, still dressed with the lights off. I left the door to my room open, as an invitation to my sister if she wanted to yell at me. I don't know how long I lay, staring at the dark ceiling before I drifted off to sleep, but it was probably a couple of hours.
"John," I heard my sister say softly. I jumped at the sound. I looked over at the clock and saw it was almost 4am.
.
"Kara..." I said, raising up, instantly awake. In the darkness I could see her form sitting on the end of the bed at my feet.
"I guess we need to talk," she said.
"Yeah," I said, "I guess so, too."
"How... When... When did you get into the business?" She asked. She was trying to build up to the main topic. She was trying to establish common ground before getting to the heart of the matter.
"Right before last Christmas. I was modeling in an art class for extra money. One thing led to another and then I'm with women in front of a camera."
She didn't respond.
"How about you?" I asked. "When did you start?"
"I did my first scene about a month ago," she said after a long pause. "Ii guess it all started just before graduation when I was with my friend, Bailey. We went to her sister's house for a sleepover. Bailey's older sister, Melissa, had a real nice place with a pool and would give us beer and alcohol as long as we stayed there when we drank, so we hung out there a lot."
I reached over and turned on a lamp to see my sister's face. She was wearing a light blue robe, but it was wrapped tight and revealed nothing. She didn't appear to mind the soft light and kept talking.
"One night, Bailey passed out drunk and I got to talking to Melissa. I asked her what she did for a living. I wanted to know what she did that allowed her to have such a nice place. I mean she couldn't have been two or three years older than me and she had a real nice house all to herself."
"Melissa had been drinking a good bit too and she spilled the beans. She told me she did porn. I was too drunk to be shocked so I began asking her all kinds of questions and she told me everything."
I nodded and let her keep going.
"At first it was just a thought in the back of my mind, but over the next few days I began to think more and more about it. I thought back to one guy I had gone out with who had used his phone to record us having sex. We watched it afterwards and I made him delete it but I thought it had been pretty hot. After talking to Melissa that night, I couldn't get it out of head."
"The more I thought about it, the more it turned me on. I mean, I loved having sex and I loved the effect I had on guys. I loved the way they looked at me. I was the one in control. I was the one who determined how far things went. I had all the power. I began to fantasize about making a real video for people to watch and it only made me hotter."
"Right after graduation, I called Melissa and asked her about how I could go about doing what she did. She didn't try to talk me out of it or anything. She gave me the address of her agent and set up a meeting. Things move really fast after that and within just a few weeks I was on the set for the first time."
I interrupted her to ask, "Were you nervous?"
"Maybe a little, but not really," she said. "I was so fucking excited about it. It was so wrong and wicked. It turned me on like nothing else." Her voice had picked up tempo with air of enthusiasm. "And the guy. Oh my god. It was my first big dick. All of the high school boys I had dated and had sex with couldn't compare to some of the guys I've fucked on set."
I bent my knees upward to my chest to hide from her my erection that had started to grow listening to her talk so energetically about making porn. I may be busted and have hell to pay but she was still a thing of beauty and my body was reacting to her story.
"It's kind of funny, talking to you about it," Kara commented. "You're guy and got into porn for the money, and I'm a girl and got into it for the sex."
