Mildred Miller that's me. I am thirty-eight a divorced women and have alone for n early five years. My son Ronnie is eighteen, a tall slender boy much like his father. I love my son as any mother would but at the same time events have caused me to look, think and even see my son in a whole different way. I would like to lay some kind of foundation for this story and why things got so out of hand but I have the very first vision in my mind and it is so embedded that I must start there and maybe as we go along fill in some past history.
I heard my son in the shower and I had washed just a few hours earlier so I took a fresh towel down the hall for him. I heard the shower running so thought he would be in the shower behind the curtain shower. Thinking nothing about any thing sexual but only to lay out a fresh towel for my son I opened the bathroom door.
At the first crack of light I froze. There was my naked son standing on the toilet seat with his penis in his hand stroking it. It looked fully erect and hard. I had not seen a erect penis for several years and for one second I looked at it with swiftly flashing visions filling my head. I have never been highly excitable, overly needful of sex or even excited by seeing a man naked. But for that very brief moments when I saw my son's erection my heart flip flopped and I choked up and nearly screamed in disbelief at what I was seeing.
It was understandable that a boy his age would masturbate thinking of all the pretty girls in his class or others he may have seen around town. But why stand on the toilet seat while doing it. Looking up I saw he had the air vent open and had his other hand in the vent. I started to close the door when he ejaculated and a large amount of his sperm came flying though the narrow crack and struck me in the face and running down over my nose coming to rest on my lips. I dropped the towels, closed the door and went to my room.
I closed my bedroom door and stood there with my back to it shivering. Why had I opened that door? What on earth was my son doing besides masturbating. With out thinking I licked my lips. The salty taste of this male sperm tickled my tongue and I licked my lips again. I was not thinking I was reacting to a stimulant that I had not tasted or digested in a very long time.
As I said I was never really into sex as such and I really did not care if my husband made love to me or not. But from time to time he would insist that I make love to him with my mouth until he ejaculated. He referred to it as getting sucked off. He often called me "Milly his cock-sucker." This was a derogatory remark I knew and it was to degrade me in a way that some how made him feel superior to me. But what I never told him and hardly ever admitted to myself was that I enjoyed oral sex and "sucking him off far better than him between my legs making love to me. He never made love it was more like just fucking me until he came." He never really made love I was just a depository for his sperm.
But on those times when he wanted me to "Give me head Milly" I found it pleasing and highly erotic. But I was never going to let on to that son-of-a- bitch that I loved to feel is rancid cock in my mouth and the warm sperm floating across my tongue.
I licked my lips one more time and took a finger to wipe the last drop from my nose placing it on my tongue as I remembered the only pleasant part of my married years. I was lost in thought before I remembered this was my son's sperm I was swallowing and enjoying. But I found I was not embarrassed or ashamed of my thoughts. I was the only one that knew how I felt or even that I had tasted my son's sperm no matter how inadvertent it may have been.
Was I bad mother? "No I was not" It was just one of those crazy things that happens though out life and we learn to live with it. The only real problem I had with what had happened was that I was highly excited for the first time in may years. I even felt a wetness between my legs and that quivering in my guts that had only happen a few times in my life. Never with my husband except when I sucked him off. The other times were before I was married and once during my marriage but not with my husband.
The house was still. I heard Ronnie leave some time ago. He took his motor cycle with out a word as to where he was going or when he would return. I laid on my bed thinking and then I remembered him looking up into the air vent.
The screw was loose and pulled out without the help of a screw driver. Letting the vent cover hang by one screw I saw a video camera mounted there aimed at the mirror on the opposite wall. From that angle it would be tapping the entire room. Reaching up I put in on replay and watched my self naked stepping in the shower and then step out naked and wet I watched myself dry off and suddenly noticed how I had rubbed my swollen bump covered with fuzzy red hair. My God, my son had been tapping me in the shower and after.
My son had also been masturbating while watching me naked. I did not know how knowing this was going to effect me. It was some what perverted and yet I found it strange for a teenager to masturbate while watching his naked mother. One of us was very very wrong and I was not sure which of us it was. I reset the camera and closed up the vent.
What was going on in my mind was not very motherly and certainly not within the morals of a normal person. It was a shock to think of my son masturbating while watching me naked. Yet I found it almost as erotic as the taste of his sperm. I could explain the feeling I got from tasting the sperm but not the slowly warming effect I was getting while as I remembered my son's erect penis and the thought of him watching me. This was almost too much, my mind working in combination with these visions. It was a strange new insight into the life my son was hiding from me and the lustful feeling I was getting.
The time passed and evening came so slowly. My son returned a little after dark, I asked if he had eaten and he said no so I fixed him a plate. I asked where he had been all day and he said a few of the guys had gone ridding out in the sand pits west of town. I asked if there were ever any girls out there watching or maybe even riding. He said not often but once in a while a girl and her mother from Springdale came over then rode together. He said the mother was a good rider and the girl was a little slower but both were pretty good. He told me of a cross country race that was coming up soon and this mother daughter team were going to ride in it.
I did not see how any of this could explain his fetish with seeing me naked and his masturbating while doing so. So I asked if the mother or the daughter were pretty. Ths question seemed to get his attention.
He looked up and said the mother looked a lot like me. I laughed and said " the poor woman."
Ronnie looked very serious and said " Mom don't you say that. You, haaa..." He went on "She is a very attractive lady and some of the guys say she is sexy as all get out."
Was my son saying that he thought I was sexy in a round about way. I swear I was in a total fog and at a loss for words. This was almost too much for me to understand. I left him setting there and said I was going up to my room and read.
I had a good book and it took my mind off the strange events of the day. But a cup of coffee would make reading a little more pleasant so I headed back down to the kitchen.
Ronnie was sitting on the sofa talking on the phone. The TV was on but I could hear most of what he was saying. What caught my attention was "Ok Jerry, I'll meet out back of the garage in twenty minutes and we can exchange tape there. Mom will not see us and I think you will like this one. Mom is really giving her self a good rub when she comes out of the shower. Almost like masturbating." Ronnie laughed and said "Yea, I really got off watching your mom. You got a great video of her last time. I jerked off twice it was great. Yes, yes I know my Mom has a great ass, yes I know you would. I would too. No I never have fucked a girl in the ass but I hear it is super special and tight too." He laughed at something Jerry said on the other end. Then Ronnie said "Ok twenty minutes." and hung up. I returned to my room with out the coffee.
Thinking has never been one of my strong points but I did wonder why I did not feel that what my son was doing was immoral, why I did not feel disgust with the thought of my son seeing me naked. Why I had enjoyed the taste of his sperm. What was going on was surely incest and to some that is the lowest from of sexual perversion. I even found that his exchanging secretly tapped videos of me with a friend did not seem to bother me. There was something very wrong and it was with me. My son was simply being an over sexed boy. Then I thought why not feed his lust and really give him something to get excited about.
It was dark when Ronnie slipped out the back door and slithered across the back yard like the snake he was. I on the other hand had slipped out five minutes earlier because I wanted to see with whom he was exchanging the videos with and to see if I might know the mother as well.
I was standing in the shadows of a large bush at the corner of the garage when a car came down the alley with out the head lights on. Ronnie waved as the car came to a stop and a young boy got out. He was smaller in stature than Ronnie but some how he looked older. Then it dawned on me if he was driving he must be older.
Ronnie said "Hi Carl. How is it hanging?"
The boy named Carl laughed and answered "Straighter, stronger and longer than your's boy."
Ronnie said "Well maybe if you see this." as he held up a VHS tape.
The boys exchanged tapes and then Carl asked "Does your Mom date?'
"No why?" Ronnie asked
"Because next week my Mom has a date and I may get to tape her with ths guy. I think he has fucked her before and maybe he will again. But I need some help going it. Do you think you can get out for a few hours after midnight. We could get a real good sex tape if we work together." Carl said.
Ronnie said "Really? Holy fuck do you think we could get it on tape? Damn, holy shit that would be so fucking great. How would we do it."
I had never heard Ronnie swear and use language like that before. It was more like what his father might use. But the boy was a chip off the old block even if I did not like it.
Carl went on to say that his mother would take the guy up into the apartment over their garage and do it there. But Carl thought he could tape it if Ronnie would help hold a latter so Carl could tape it though a window. The boys sounded so excited that together they might tape and get to see a "Real fuck film."
