The Two Betrayals

I came home from work and entered my home. It had been a long day. I headed upstairs to check on my daughters. Two beautiful 14-year-old girls slept in rooms opposite each other. They're not twins, they had different mothers. After taking a few moments to watch both sets of blankets rise and fall I headed to my room wondering if my wife of ten years was awake. She was amazing, the first woman I'd truly loved. A tiny little 5-foot ball of sunshine and light. In the 12 years I'd met her I'd only seen her angry twice and one of those times she called me a 'meanie.' She did get madder when I couldn't stop myself from laughing at that.

I entered my room and saw something horrific, my wife in tears. My heart broke and I rushed to her and took her in my arms and she shoved back at me. It wasn't enough force to actually move me, but the intent of it struck me harder than a runaway truck. "Steph? Tell me what's wrong?"

She held up two letters and I took them from her hands, one was handwritten addressed to me and the other was a form letter. I glanced through the handwritten letter and saw a name I dreaded and her plans to come to find me so we could be married and raise our daughter together. I read the form letter already knowing what it said from the mere existence of the handwritten one.

Mr. Phillips

As requested by your attorney we are notifying you of the release from treatment of...

"Fuck!"

I crumpled the note and then realized I'd need it for a restraining order and began to smooth it out. "Steph, I need to call Mike Carper and get him to apply for a restraining order when I get back, I'll answer all your questions. I will tell you everything, but I need you to give me a chance to explain."

She looked at me and for the first time since I met her, I saw no light shining out from her eyes, "Is Emily's mother really your sister?"

"It is a long story. You know me. You know I love you. The only thing I love more than you are our daughters. OUR daughters regardless of who their birth mothers are."

"But you're their dad? And your sister is Emily's mother? Is this why you don't talk about your family? This is why you didn't have any guests at the wedding?"

"You know I would never do anything like that willingly. Hear me out at least? Please? Let me call Mike and then we'll talk."

"When I met you ... you were this seemingly impossible loving single dad and to find out that you..."

"I'll stop you right there. I have never done that. I've never had sex with my sisters. I never will and I never would. Like I said, it's a long story. Just let me call Mike."

I stood up and moved into the bathroom and took pictures of the two notes and texted them to Mike. I'd need to scan them when I had the chance. I called him and left a voicemail, "Hey, Mike. She got out. I need you to get the restraining order started. Call me back when you get up. I need this done ASAP to cover myself if she tries anything."

I took the time to wash my face and look at my reflection. It had been 23 years since it all began. It had been 23 years since my father died. I could see the age on my face. It was one of those things I never really took the time to notice. You know you're getting older, but actually taking the time to see was about like stopping to smell the roses.

I entered the bedroom again and got a bottle of water from the minifridge. I quick swig. And I began.

"My family was weird. My father worked hard at the plant 70 to 80 hours a week. The overtime was necessary due to the number of us. He was a good man. Then he died.

My mother, Moira, was a schoolteacher and did her best to make sure the house was clean and we were all fed. She was especially close with my older brother, Steven. He was ten years older than I was and the math showed he was born before she'd even met my father. I never knew why the two were so close, but in a lot of ways she treated him like a second husband. Lots of late-night talks in one of their rooms, sometimes even overnight. Mother-son nights out. After Dad died, he took a job at the plant and he did his best to step in to that role.

My elder sister was two years older than I was. Tabby and I never got along. I never harbored any resentment to her we were just different people.

My other sister on the other hand was my perfect sidekick. She turned 18 a few months prior. I was born in November and she was born in January, though our mother decided to call her April for reasons I'll never understand. I never did call her that she was always Squire. The Squire to my knight. Squire was my faithful companion. We did everything together. There wasn't a single human being I was closer to until my 18th birthday." I closed my eyes and I was there;

23 years ago

I'd just taken off the practice gear and was headed to the shower when my text tone went off from my locker. I opened it and grabbed my phone the text was from Steve: GET HOME NOW!

Knight: Bout 2 shower, then OMW. Why U buy a cake?

Steve: Get home and pack your shit or we'll call the police.

I sighed.

Knight; "You're not my dad, Stevie."

Steve: After what u did 2 ur sister ur lucky we let you pack.

Knight: I haven't done anything to squire

Steve: We know what u did 2 Tabby.

Knight: Haven't even talked to her in weeks.

Steve: Home now.

I showered then dressed and headed home.

It has to be some kind of surprise party. I barely talk to Tabby; we've just never got on.

It was about three miles between the school and the house I wasn't in a hurry and ignored the occasional buzzing. I chose to enter through the kitchen door and found my mother, Steve, my uncle Jim and aunt Colleen, and squire sitting at the table.

"If this is a surprise birthday party, you're supposed to be more chipper and there should be cake." Not that I'd eat it. Have to be careful. Need to stay fit to keep playing, need to keep playing or they'll withdraw those scholarship offers.

Moira's eyes were red. She'd been crying and you could hear the disgust in her voice, "How the fuck could you do it?!?"

"Do what?"

Steve tried to sound threatening, but it turned out like a really angry grasshopper, "We know what you did to her. Quit fucking around and pack your shit."

"What did I allegedly do? If I'm being accused, I need to know what I've been accused of."

Moira screamed, "We know you've been raping your sister!"

I couldn't contain the laughter, "What the fuck! That's a good one. Did I shoot Kennedy and fake the moon landing too?"

Aunt Colleen put on her stern voice, "This is serious. You won't be allowed to be around her."

"Wait? Are you actually serious? Who told you this bullshit?"

Moira seethed, "She confessed. Came to me crying. Said you've been doing it for months.

"She's lying."

Steve added in angry grasshopper, "Either pack your shit or we go to the cops."

"Then call them. Do a rape kit. You know damn well I didn't do anything like that."

Moria shook her head, "You know it's been too long to collect evidence."

"Okay? Does she have bruises? Call the police and get some pictures."

The angry grasshopper added, "We know you drugged her, so you didn't have to force her after the first time."

"Jesus Christ? Did she come up with this bullshit? Let's go to the hospital. Have her get a tox screen. If she's being drugged, it'll show up!"

"What did you find something that won't show up? You're not going to stay where you have access to your victim."

"Steve! Dumbass! I've never raped anyone. Hell, I'm still a fucking virgin cause Nicki won't let me get past third base. I have 4.0 GPA; I play football with practice every night and games on Friday. I have a job. And every other time I'm awake I have Pete, Nicki, or Squire within ten feet of me. You know I couldn't do this. You know I wouldn't do this. Let's take her to the police and the hospital. Maybe she had a what is it ... A psychotic break! She has to have a reason to make up this shit."

"Be Glad she doesn't want to go to the police, cause nothing would make me happier than seeing you in jail. She's satisfied with you just being gone."

"Idiot, she doesn't want to go to the police cause she is lying! I'm happy to take this to the police. Do it. Call 911 right now."

Moira butted in, "We're not going to let you victimize her more. Go to your room. Pack what you need. You'll never set foot in this house again. As of today, I only have one son. You should be glad that Colleen and Jim are willing to put up with you till your graduation."

"C'mon Squire, you at least have to know I didn't do this. You have to see reason!" She stood and walked towards me and slapped me. It would be 23 years before I felt something that hurt as much as that slap. "Eventually the truth is going to come out and I won't forgive you. You had the chance to believe me. You had the chance to see reason."

I marched upstairs to my room. As soon as the door shut behind me, I turned and threw my fist into the wall. I hit the stud and it broke.

Why the fuck would she do this to me? Why the fuck won't they believe me? They won't even let me try to prove I'm innocent. Fucking assholes. And Squire ... what fucking bullshit has she been spouting that she turned Squire against me.

I grabbed a trash bag and threw my clothes into it. My laptop went into its case. I gathered up all the paperwork, admissions letters, and random crap and threw it in my backpack. I used another trash bag for my shoes and my boots. Lastly, I opened the desk drawer and took my father's pocket knife and put it in my pocket. I scanned the room looking for anything else I might need.

This has to be a prank. I'll go to stay with the hillbillies for the weekend and come back to my party. No way this is real.

When I got to Colleen and Jim's place I was led upstairs and to a room. A room with five heavy duty slide bolts on the outside of the door. Colleen announced, "While you're here you'll have a curfew of 1045. You'll be expected to be in your room at that time."

"I assume you're locking me in?"

"Of Course, I don't want to risk you trying to do to me what you did to your sister."

"Is there an ensuite at least? What am I supposed to do if I need to pee?"

Jim then handed me a twenty oz bottle he'd been spitting tobacco juice into.

"Lovely." I entered the room and set my stuff down and heard the slide bolts be activated behind me. The room was spartan. A bed, a dresser, and a desk with a desk lamp comprised the furniture. There was a window which opened. I slipped through it. There weren't any trees near the house so it would be at best a 30-foot drop to the ground. I could do it if I had to, but I wasn't willing to risk it as it could fuck up a knee or an ankle and tank my plans. I did now have a suitable place to pee though. I did what had to be done and reentered the room. I laid down and hoped this was a prank.

The next day Nicki broke up with me. The guys on the team started giving me shit. It wasn't outright bullying; they'd get tossed off the team if they did that. It was annoying though. Things like a few rapist and sister fucker signs taped to my lockers, a lot of terrible jokes at my expense, and any time there was an opportunity during practice they went full force. Every action was designed to make me lose my religion. It was now a well-known fact that I was guilty of a crime I wasn't sure even happened and people acted accordingly. I kept my head down and tried not to let it bother me. Though occasionally I would catch Squire's gaze and the hatred in her eyes would level me. Nicki started dating George Brown the running back within a week of our breakup.

It was a month later in the prep for our final game of the season that I took a rather bad hit in practice and had to bow out early. Pete joined me. He'd been my only friend since the accusation. The only one who could see the truth. Pete threw out, "Why don't you just fight back? You lay out a couple of them and they'll at least leave you alone."

"They won't actually hurt me. They can't win the game without me."

"You know that protection ends on Friday, right?"

"Yeah, I do. But I'll still need to keep my cool. My father ... Before my father came to this shithole he did some bad things. He learned a lot and got out of that life. Though he taught me a lot of things he had learned in it. He taught me that I had to be calm when everyone else was emotional. He taught me that if I wanted to get ahead, I had to think and figure out what people wanted and more importantly WHY they wanted it. Motivation informs every action a person takes. He taught me that hard work was rewarded. He made me understand that I had to keep my intentions close to the vest."

I flashed back to the quarry. Whenever my father wanted to teach me something he drug me out there. This was when I was 8. He seemed taller in my memory than he was in life, "I've never been more disappointed in you."

"He was calling Tabby names! I had to do something it's my job.'

"You failed your job. You can't protect your sisters if you're suspended. What are you going to do if tomorrow that kid decides to jump Tabby? You need to think."

"But I..."

"Stop whining." He pulled open his shirt showing me his tattoos "I got these when I was young and stupid. I was prideful. I let my beast run and I paid for it. I've done everything I can to overcome them and what I've done. I've done everything I could to make sure you and your sisters have a better life than I did. That thing in you. That thing that beat that kid."

"I was angry. He was wrong."

"You need to keep that in check. You want to come out on top, you need to keep your anger tamped down. You keep the beast in his cage and outthink the other guy. For three days your sisters are at that kid's mercy cause you let your beast out."

"So, I was just supposed to let him call her names?"

"In that moment? You walk the line. You walk the line between the beast and the man. You let him know there will be consequences, but you keep that beast caged. You keep your cool or you lose ... sometimes you lose everything."

"So, tell him to stop. Keep my cool, then what?"

"You walk the line. Then you play it smart. You get that kid alone where no teacher, no cop, no witnesses and you let that beast out. You show him that crossing your family has consequences, but you need to do it the smart way. You need to keep your cool and think. It's the only way you can protect yourself and protect the most important thing in life."

"Family?"

"Family."

And Pete drug me back to the present, "And what does that have to do with letting these guys shit on you?"

"The applicable lesson he taught me was, 'Don't cut your own rope so the guy behind you will fall.' If I fight, yeah, they'll stop giving me shit, but I will get suspended, possibly more as they're just waiting for an excuse. I will lose my spot on the team. That will lose me a good number of my scholarship offers and the academic ones aren't worth as much as the football ones. So, as much as I want to grind these fuckers into paste, I have to keep my cool if I want to get out of this shithole. After the last game ... I can respond."

"I don't blame you wanting to get out after this shit got out."

"The rumors don't help, but this was always the plan. I won't work at that fucking plant and either die from over work like my father, cancer like yours, or get a fucking lung disease next time they have a 'spill.' This town is on life support only because people haven't realized it's dead yet."

"But if it hadn't gotten out you fucked your sister you'd at least consider staying right?"

"What the fuck Pete? You know I didn't do that. I never have and never would do that."

"Sure, sure. I get you didn't force her, but if I had a girl as hot as Tabby down the hall from or April for that matter, I would've been happy to pay a late night visit or two."

"Go fuck yourself, Pete."

I walked back to the hillbillies' residence and began studying while I waited for the door to my cell to be locked. If things continued as they were I'd likely be in the running for valedictorian, but I'd already decided to skip the ceremony. Nothing good would come from it and once I had the diploma in hand I might as well move. I'd gone over my options thoroughly and the one I'd chosen was six states away. It was a full ride scholarship with an allotment for room and board. I'd still need a job so I had some savings when I went for my MBA, but all I had to do was finish the game on Friday and get my diploma and then I would never see anyone from this Podunk trash fire of a town again.

The big game came and went. We won. 33 to 14. An interesting thing happened after. I saw Tabby in the stands. While everyone filed out, I went with the others to shower and slip into my street clothes. I moved back out quickly. And saw her waiting in the stands. She was alone. I turned my phone on to record audio and put in my pocket. I ducked under the bleachers and found her feet. I grasped her ankles and pulled her down, between the slats. I put my hand over her mouth. "Don't scream. I just want to ask you a few questions."

"You're not going to try and fuck me again?"

"We're alone. No Observers. You don't need to keep that lie going."

"You're not going to hit me? Pound me? Take what I told them you did?"

"Just tell me why to start? Why did you make up these lies? Why fuck me over? I always knew we didn't get on, but I assumed you were my sister and you'd have my back. I know I would've had yours."

I watched her face flash various emotions, I'm pretty sure guilt was among them, but it finished on resolve. "It was the only way for me to be happy."

"There is still time to fix it. You can tell them the truth."

"No."

"Why?"

"You have to be out of the way."

"I'm leaving when I get my diploma either way."

"You don't understand and I'm not explaining it."

She turned and ran out from under the bleachers. I turned the other way and walked out. When I got back to my cell I checked the audio. It was too garbled to make out her confession.

I went to bed and then I was in the quarry at top of the precipice. Dad spoke, "There are three spots you can jump from. Only one of them is safe this time of year. Pick one and jump."

I pointed to the one at the end. "Why that one?"

"You're standing next to it. You don't want me to get hurt so you would unconsciously indicate the safe one."

He smiled for a moment, "That's a good answer, but you can't trust everyone has your best interests in mind."

"Does that include you?"

"No, I'm family. Family takes cares of each other regardless of anything else. Now, use your head and decide which one to jump from."

I stepped closer and looked over the nearest of the three rocks that extended out from the land. There were rocks below and the water was a few feet out. "Not this one."

"Good, the kids like to take a run up to that one and jump past the rocks. You're still too small to make it."

I moved across and to the next jutting rock. Looking over I saw water, but I could see the bottom fairly clearly. "Too shallow?"

"It'd be fine in the spring or summer when it's rained, but it's mostly snowfall now. And it'll be another month till it melts."

And finally, towards the one I'd picked. "I'm still not jumping."

"Why not?"

"It'd be too cold. It's February."

"Strip down to your boxers and jump."

"No."

"If you don't take your chances when you have them you've already lost."

"And when I hit the water the cold saps my air and I can't make it to shore and then get frostbite on the way back up?"

"Then I drag your ass back to the house and give you something."

"What?"

"What doesn't matter."