The Things You Mae Me Feel

"No, you sit, babe; I'll go."

"Are you sure, hot stuff?" Dave asked.

"Positive," Kara giggled and gave him a big, fat kiss. "I'll be right back."

She stepped out of the theater to get some more popcorn.

Kara and Dave had been going out for two weeks now, and Kara couldn't have been happier with her pick. Although, at first, it was Oliver who'd caught her attention, Dave made her quickly forget that his brother was ever a contender. She'd found her soulmate in Dave, she felt, and Oliver did seem to her a bit of a brooding bore compared to her jovial boyfriend—which was a massive relief for her BFF, who had done all that she could to desexualize Oliver in Kara's eyes. Ellie didn't want to give her best friend up, but she would in a heartbeat had she kept pursuing him.

Kara returned to the theater with the popcorn and coke. She climbed down the stairs to the row they were sitting in when something unexpected made her stop in her tracks and observe.

She and Dave had gone out on a double date with Gena and Jack, with Ellie and Oliver tagging along. It was in fact a triple date. That, however, was known only to half of the six. The seating arrangement from left to right was as follows: Ellie, Gena, Kara, Dave, Jack, and Oliver. The girls had orchestrated that before the movie commenced. They wanted to opportunity to be able to chat if the picture proved to be a bore as it was guys' pick.

Kara dismissed the disturbing thought with a resolute head shake and returned to her seat, scolding herself for even suspecting such a vile thing.

***

Christmas eve, the Jensen residence.

Dan, Alice, and their children were seated round the table and enjoying a festive meal laden with strong booze and delectable food. Jack's newly fiancée, Gena, was also there along with Dave's girlfriend and little Michela. Jack had popped the question two days ago, and it seemed the Jensens would be getting their wedding after all.

"You'd better not be pulling an Ellie on us in a couple of months," Dan quipped while twirling his glass of cognac on the table.

"Dad!" Ellie objected with the majority of the table voicing its amusement.

"I'm just saying, pumpkin! I don't feel like paying for two weddings and have none of my kids married. We want to see some grandchildren around here for crying out loud. We're not getting any younger."

Ellie shook her head in mock ire before giggling into her glass of orange juice.

Truthfully, she didn't mind her father's banter at all. She was the happiest she'd ever been, and she knew that calling off her wedding had a great deal to do with it.

"Well, Dan, you may not need to wait for much longer," Gena said timidly and glanced at Jack.

Jack studied her face, realization slowly shaping his. "You're pregnant?"

Gena nodded in a blend of excitement and apprehension. She'd learned that just earlier today.

"Oh my god!" He slapped a kiss on her lips, cueing the rest of the table to commence the festivities.

All the women lurched to their feet to congratulate them, including Michela. The guys followed suit, and the Christmas cheer hit new highs. Dan left the table to fetch an exceedingly expensive bottle of Merlot, and by the time he returned, the seating arrangement had been reshuffled, with the women now clustered together and discussing everything pregnancy, from the sex of the baby to the due date. The head of the family uncorked the wine bottle and started filling glasses while the ladies were already conjuring up possible names and throwing out décor ides for the nursery.

"So, was it a part of the plan or was it an accident?" Dan asked, wreathed in the smoke of his Cuban cigar and elated at thought of a baby crawling around the house soon.

"How can something like that be an accident nowadays, with the pill?" Kara said. "It's downright impossible, isn't it?"

"You'd be surprised," Alice said knowingly and tried hiding her smirk as she took a swig from her wine.

Jack chuckled at his mother, noting the not so subtle smile. "Oh my god, what did you mean by that?"

"Nothing," she blurted with blush in her cheeks from either the wine or from—

"Dad?!" Jack said.

Dan guffawed at his perturbed son. "What you mother meant to say was that... accidents do sometimes happen."

"Who?!" Ellie said, also agitated at the news. "I bet it was Dave, wasn't it? He has

accident

written all over his face."

"Why me?! I bet it was you!"

"Hey!" Jack exclaimed. "If it was her, then it was me, too!"

The siblings kept bickering, none ready to be labeled as the

oops child

.

Oliver didn't participate. He sipped his wine as he looked across from him at his girl, who while perched in his mother's lap, was enjoying a scrumptious piece of blueberry pie. He smiled at her, yet she couldn't tell, or maybe

because

she couldn't tell. Her attention bounced back and forth between her quarrelling uncles and her pie. That little feisty Italian was loving every second of it.

"Dad," Ellie said with a haughty smirk, "tell Dave the truth, so he can start accepting that no one wanted him, and that he imposed himself on our family."

"Ellie, look at this face," Dave said, pointing at his face. "This is the face of a

love child

.

You're

the accident! Embrace it."

"

I'm

the accident?! You're so..."

Dave and his sister were going at it incessantly and cracking everyone up. Unlike their brothers, they found great pleasure trading banters and wits and could probably keep going all night long.

"Dad, tell Ellie—"

"No, you tell Dave—"

"Knock it off," their father ordered with a chuckle and poured himself more wine. Seeing Dave and Ellie going at each other's throats was entertaining as ever. "You want to know? I'll tell you. One or more of the four of you was an unexpected yet a very welcome surprise, and that's all I'm gonna say on matt—"

"Ha! He said

more

. You and Jack are so the accidents."

"

One

or more. He just didn't want to throw it in your face in front of your girlfriend, you lab freak."

"Oh, just tell them already, Dan, or they will never stop."

Alice tried to sound irritated, but she was as amused as her husband.

"Very well. That is if no one objects."

The siblings looked at Oliver, who shrugged with an I-couldn't-care-less face.

"Go on, Dad," Ellie said. "Break Dave the painful news."

Dave snickered. "We'll just see about that."

While all eyes on him, Dan poured himself more wine and took a sip, lingering for the effect. He could feel how anxious his children were to label and mock the poor bastard/s. He took a second sip, his face expressionless. He set his glass on the table and smiled at his wife. His smile sloped down to his granddaughter as he ruffled her hair, and from Michela, the smile was shot across the table at her father.

Oliver shook his head in mirth. "Of course..."

"Oh, god," Dave chuckled, ecstatic that it wasn't him. "Oliver! You wretched

oops baby

!"

"Behold"—Jack gestured at Oliver with both hands—"The accident."

Jack and Dave kept taking turns congratulating their brother for being the mishap.

Dan picked his granddaughter up and sat her in his lap. "Sometimes, the best things are the things you never even knew you wanted." He planted a loving kiss on Michela's cheek. "Isn't that the truth, son?"

Oliver slowly nodded, his eyes on his oblivious, simpering daughter.

Ellie, for a change, was still as she considered her striking boyfriend. Suddenly, it was all clear to her. It had to be Oliver. She hadn't fallen in love with him by accident; this was the doing of a higher power. Some deity had long ago decided that for her, when she was only a toddler. This deity must have really loved her, Ellie thought, for it was giving her everything she wanted, answering to all of her prayers.

Jack took Michela in his arms. "Soon, you'll have a nephew or a niece to play with. Isn't that exciting?"

Michela nodded vigorously.

"Right on!" he chuckled when she gave him high five. "Dad, let's break out the piano. It's time for some Christmas carols."

While everyone trickled into the living room, Oliver received a text. He swigged his wine as he read it, "Your room. Now."

He cut his eyes at the stairway and watched his girlfriend swaying her heart-shaped tush as she mounted the stairs. A smile curved his lips upward as he gulped down the exquisite wine. He glanced at his father taking a seat in front of the piano with the rest encircling him. They would never notice, Oliver knew. He rose to his feet and followed the smoldering blonde's footsteps.

Oliver wasn't wrong when assessing the situation. No one could notice him and Ellie gone while singing and quaffing their beverages round the piano. Unless they were looking for it, that is.

Just as he vanished up the second floor, Kara set her drink down and started up the stairs. Since that night at the movies, a suspicion had been sprawling inside her like cancer. She'd spent long hours mulling it over, but she couldn't shake off that pesky feeling that there was something very wrong with her best friend, and it had everything to do with her little brother. What Kara had seen that night wasn't awfully incriminating, and a less observant person wouldn't have thought twice about it, but she knew Ellie too well to disregard it.

While descending the stairs in the theatre and peering for the row they were sitting in, Kara caught the look Ellie had given her brother. That gaze pierced through the three people that had been buffering them and was answered with a similar look from Oliver. Both had gazed at the display of their phones a second before as the theater was dark and it was easy to pick up on it. Kara didn't know Oliver well enough to pass judgment on his look, but she knew Ellie like the back of her hand, and that look was a look she'd seen her giving many times in the past. It was a look, however, she should have never given her own brother.

By itself, the look wouldn't have been enough to make Kara dwell on it, but when factoring Ellie's engagement annulment along with the peculiar way she had been trying to steer her away from Oliver and toward Dave, made her think. She'd been keeping a watchful eye on them since, but they hadn't given anything away.

Until now. This was the breakthrough she'd been waiting for, and as she reached the second floor and bored into Oliver's closed door, she had a good guess what was going on in there. It certainly was loud enough. She treaded carefully, not wanting to alarm them before she would—

"Kara, don't!"

Dave raced past her and blocked her path.

His girlfriend shot him a look. He clearly knew more than he was letting on. "Why not? What would I see in there?"

He gulped, his arms still splayed out. "Let's take a walk."

***

Ellie blew Oliver a kiss as he made a U-turn and drove home. She watched as he rounded the corner and giggled as she started for her building entrance. She and her brother had taken a big risk tonight and fooled around while their family was chanting downstairs. She wanted to fuck him so badly but was too apprehensive since anyone could have surprised them in the act.

She punched in the code to her building and rode the elevator to her floor. She wanted Oliver to spend the night under the pretense of watching old movies, but her annoying best friend had torpedoed the initiative. Kara had seemed quite rattled when Ellie handed her the keys to her condo, so she could take off early. It was definitely going to be irksome, listening to her bitchin' about Dave, for he must have done something to make her this distraught.

She knocked on her door, and the pretty brunette answered it a second later in one of Ellie's pajamas. Kara looked hot in her night garments, Ellie thought, before she tossed her purse on the couch and shuffled out of her high heels. She flopped onto the sofa, bosom down, and sighed. "Well, let's hear it. What did Dave do?"

"What did he do? Well... nothing really. Only telling me the truth."

"Kar, it's late, and I'm a bit tired. You need to start making more sen—"

"I know about you and Oliver."

Ellie thought she had died at that second, her heart thumping distressingly against her chest. She raised her head and studied her best friend's face, her stomach braiding into knots. "Me and Oliver? What"—she gulped—"What do you mean?"

"Oh, drop the act, will ya, Ellie? I fucking know!"

Ellie stroked her fair hair back as she sat upright, sweating like a pig. "Kara, you need to listen to me now: Under no circumstances are you to repeat what you just said. Do you understand me? Do you fucking understand me?!"

"My god, Ellie... your own fucking brother?!"

"What Oliver and I do is none of your business. You just remember to keep your mouth shut, or I will smother you in your sleep, so help me God."

Kara shook her head, can't believe her friend. "What you and Oliver are doing is incest for fuck sake! It's crazy!"

Ellie fished her phone out of her purse and called her brother. "Yeah, fuck you. Oliver is going to be there any second now. Jump into the passenger seat and get your ass to here. Tell him he's spending the night at my place after all." She hung up and shot Kara a look. "I would start changing back if I were you."

"Ellie... this is crazy!"

"I heard you the first time."

"No, you didn't! If you did, you'd realize the—"

"Kara, with all due respect, I have been living this

crazy

as you call it for five months now. Don't you think I tried everything I could to get away from it?"

"Then what are you saying?! That you can't keep your hands off of your own brother?! Jesus Christ, Ellie!"

"I'm not going to defend myself here because as hard as it may seem to you: I've done nothing wrong. Whether you're okay with that is of very little significance to me."

Ellie patted to her room and started changing into her Superman pajamas. They were blue with a red

S

at the center and red elastic cuffs in both bottoms and top. Her best friend watched while trying to grasp what she was saying. She absolutely believed Ellie should be committed.

"So... how long are you planning to keep up with this insanity?"

Ellie put on her pajama bottoms. "Till death do us part."

"Dear god, tell me you're kidding. Please tell me you're kidding."

The blue-eyed blonde pulled her top on and looked into Kara's eyes. "I love him."

"

You love him

? The brooding porker with the receding hairline?!"

"So is that what this is about?" She sprayed herself with perfume. "You're mad at me for swaying you to Dave?"

"God, no! I'm glad I'm with Dave. It's the first time in a long time that I've been happy in a relationship, and you know that. I actually think I might be in love with him, but that's a story for another night. My point is that I couldn't care less about Oliver. I do, though, care about you, Ell, and what you're doing is going to ruin your life; yours, his,

and

Michela's."

"That's where you're wrong; my life has never been better. And besides, Oliver said he was gonna figure this out. He's gonna take care of me, Kar. I know he will."

Kara shook her head, flabbergasted. "Jesus, Ellie..."

Ellie entered the kitchen and fetched a bottle of whiskey out of the cupboard along with a shot glass. She set them on the countertop and checked herself in the mirror next to the front door. She gave her long blond hair a couple of strokes, making sure that it looked as enticing as always, and patted to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Kara, meanwhile, filled the shot glass with the whiskey and gulped it down. She poured a second one, and—

"What are you doing?" Ellie said coldly. "This isn't for you; it's for Oliver."

"Trust me"—Kara gobbled it up and shivered as she plunked the glass down—"I need it more than he does."

"Kara, you should really get ready. The second they're here, I want you out of my place."

"Why?! So you can fuck your brother?!"

"Well, yes, and you should really do the same. With my other brother, that is."

Ellie sat comfortably on the sofa checked the time. Her brothers were five minutes away at the latest, she knew. Kara sat next to her and observed her for full two minutes without saying a word. Only the desperate suckling noises she was making as she smoked her cigarette could be heard in Ellie's plush condo.

"You want one?" she offered when noting the way Ellie seemed to be craving it.

"No, thanks. I'm going through withdrawal, is all."

"Ellie, honey..." Kara shook her head, aching to get to her somehow. "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

Ellie gulped but kept staring at the clock on the wall, counting the seconds until her brothers arrived.

"You are the most beautiful real-life woman I've ever seen. Did you know that? I mean, I've seen guys throwing themselves at your feet,

literally

. I have seen your boyfriends crying and begging you not to dump them. You are so desirable that you can get any guy you want,

any

guy. Let me take you out a little, show you what the world has to offer, the abundance of men that would—"

"Kar, I don't want other men! I want Oliver!" Tears streamed violently down her subtly freckled cheeks. "You don't even know what it's like to want something so bad, and to have to hide it, to feel ashamed because of it... it's a horrible feeling, Kar." She shook her head, her tears relentless. "I gave it my all, I really did, but... I can't. Never in my life have I wanted a guy as much I want him. If I can't have him, then... I don't wanna live anymore."

"Jesus, Ellie, you don't mean that! You just—"

"I do! I mean it! Oliver means

everything

to me!" she cried, taking in labored gasps between painful sobs. "What do you do when you wake up one day and realize that your brother also happens to be the love of your life? How the fuck can you even get away from that? Do you think I was looking for it? To be in a relationship with him?" She snagged a cigarette from Kara and fired it up. She pulled, loving the smoke wreathing her lungs. "I pine for him, Kara, the way I have never. I dream about him, I think about him nonstop. I fantasize, I giggle, I... not even when I was 16 I was that pathetic."

Kara was dumbstruck. She couldn't comprehend how one could ever fall for a sibling, but she was definitely witnessing it now. As absurd and surreal as it was, she had never heard her best friend speaking about any guy with such passion and longing. Ellie was absolutely, head over heels in love with her brother, Kara was just starting to grasp.

"Fuck me sideways," the brunette sighed as she lit up another cigarette. She watched Ellie wailing on the couch, tormented by her illicit love for her bro. "Fuck!! Shit!!"

Ellie was actually beginning to feel better listening to her best friend cussing, for she knew it meant that Kara was past the initial shock and was now seeking a way to be in peace with it.

"Jesus Chr... fuck!"

Sobbing, Ellie snuffed out her cigarette and bolted to the bathroom. She washed her hands and face and brushed her teeth again, her reflection a mess.

"Ellie, get back here!" Kara yelled outside the locked bathroom door. "We're not done!"

"I don't wanna t-talk to you anymore... I need... Oliv-ver."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Ellie stepped out of the bathroom just as Kara answered it, and the brothers walked in with Dave pulling ahead. Ellie almost ran him over when dashing to her baby bro.

"Oliver!" she sobbed as she crashed into his body.

He swathed an arm around her and stroked her golden hair with his free hand, her tears tearing at his heart. "What's the matter? Why are you crying like that?"

Surprisingly, Oliver was the only one who was clueless in that room. His brother never disclosed to him his knowledge of his and Ellie's relationship, and neither did his sister. The looks on both Dave and Kara's faces swiftly got him up to speed though. He kept stroking his girlfriend's hair while soothing her with soft kisses to the top of her head. Ellie clung to him in a vice-like grip, constricting him like a python, unwilling to pluck her tearful face from his chest. It felt too good and too safe to be in his arms.