The Taming of the Shrew

"You're going to have to watch over your grandmother and that's all there is to it!" my mother near shouted. Then, more softly, "Look, your father and I will be out of town for just one night. You'll have plenty of time to hang out with your friends the rest of the week."

A long sigh, then, "Alright, but you'd better tell her not to give me any crap. Seems like all she wants to do anymore is bitch and moan about every little thing."

"I'll talk to her," Mom promised as she gave me a light peck on the cheek. "You're such a good boy, Jeremy. Thanks for taking one for the team. Here." She handed me a fifty-dollar bill. "Take her out to eat. Maybe that'll help things some." With that she disappeared upstairs, and twenty minutes later she, Dad, and Granny made their way to the front door. Mom and Dad hugged Granny first, then me, as they said their good-byes.

"You two be safe," Granny called out sweetly as they loaded their luggage into the car, and continued to stand at the door and wave until they drove off. She closed the door, turned her eyes upon me, and a scowl came across her face as she said, "Get your punk ass in that kitchen and make me some dinner."

"What did you say to me, you cantankerous, old bitch?"

"You heard me, you little fuck," Granny said as she took a step closer to me. "Peddle your ass into that kitchen and cook me something to eat!"

"Ooooooo!" I said as I took three steps back. My lips were pursed, and my teeth were clinched. I was about to go off on her big-time, but I tried to diffuse the situation by saying, "Look, Granny; Mom gave us fifty bucks to go out and eat on. Why don't you go put something nice on and I'll take you wherever you want to go."

"Why don't you kiss my ass?" she said as she began to walk off. She stopped, turned, and said, "Order a pizza. I'll be fine with that," then continued the trek upstairs to her room.

I looked at her with hate in my eyes and contempt in my heart as I wondered what could have made her the monster she is today. I called the local pizza joint and ordered two extra pepperoni with extra cheese—there was no way she could balk at that as it was her favorite—and as I hung up the phone it dawned on me that she was never this way when Grampa was alive. "She's acting out because she misses him," I said to myself, and suddenly the past two years of her increasingly unruly behavior made sense. I decided I would try to talk to her about it over dinner, but first ...

I thought it would be a nice idea to use Mom's fine China and lead crystal goblets. Maybe seeing this finery would bring a little joy to Granny's heart. The pizza arrived, and I called upstairs to let her know dinner was ready.

She came down in a flannel nightgown and stopped as she entered the kitchen and noticed the setting. "What's the meaning of this?"

"I just thought you might enjoy—"

She pushed right past me, opened a box of pizza, took a bite, then immediately spit it onto the floor. "Tastes like shit." She spat on the floor again, wiped her sleeve across her mouth, then said with derision, "Make me some bacon and eggs and bring it to my room. Oh, and clean that mess up, ya sorry cuss."

I was dumbfounded; truly, truly dumbfounded. The longer I looked at the mess on the floor the angrier I got. I marched upstairs to Granny's room and literally kicked the door off its hinges. It startled her a bit, but to no great extent. I took three steps into the room and pointed at her as I said, "You wanna know what's wrong with you?"

"What?" she asked with a sarcastic chuckle.

I glowered at her as I said, "Nothing a good cornholing wouldn't fix!"

"Oh, really?" she asked with a laugh. "And who's supposed to administer this great cornholing to me? You? Don't make me laugh. Just look at you. You're twenty years old, still live at home ... Why, I bet you're still a virgin."

"Shut the hell up, Granny," I said in way of warning her.

"Or what? You'll stand there and do nothing? Here, I'll make it easy for you." She then slid off the bed, pulled her nightgown over her head, dropped her bloomers to the floor, and got back on the bed on her hands and knees, her ass blossomed high in the air. "Here it is. Well? Come on. What are you waiting for?" She then looked back at me and said, "Oh, I forgot, you're just a little bitch, a little pussy-ass bitch. I bet if this was a man's ass you'd have fucked the gravy out of it by now."

"You fucking cunt!" I shouted at her. "Find me some fucking lubricant. I'll—"

"A real man wouldn't need lubricant," she said over her shoulder, "but we've already established that you aren't a real man, didn't we? You're just a pussy-ass bitch."

I tore my shirt from my body and dropped my shorts and boxer-briefs to the floor. If this is how she wanted it, then this was how she was going to get it, God damn it! I grabbed my dick (I really don't know when it got hard, but it was, and I was going to use it for the weapon it had become) and leapt onto the bed behind her, intent on drilling her right in the ass and not caring how much it would hurt her. I misjudged the distance, however, and instead of hitting the mark I slid into her pussy, which was hotter and wetter than any other I had experienced in the past. A soft moan escaped my lips, quickly followed by Granny saying, "You stupid bastard. Can't you tell the difference between an asshole and a twat?"

"No, because when it comes to assholes and twats, you're both," I told her. I pulled out of her and thrust my cock into her ass, but only about a third of it entered her.

Granny gave a high yelp fueled by shock/surprise/pain, then said, "You're pathetic." She pushed back against my cock until her ass had swallowed it whole, then slowly began to rock back and forth as she said, "Well, I've done this much for you, you little prick, now give me the ass fucking I deserve."

I grabbed her hips, found my rhythm, and began fucking her ass. It was both hotter and tighter than her pussy, but not by much. I found myself really beginning to enjoy myself when she pulled me back to reality and reminded me of my mission here. "You sorry bastard. You pitiful son-of-a-bitch. You mean to tell me that I give you the opportunity to destroy this ass and this is the best you can do?"

Without a word I flipped her onto her back, pinned her knees against her ears, and began to fuck the holy hell out of her asshole. "That's it, you son of a cock-kissing sodomite!" she screamed through gritted teeth. "Fuck me, you son of a Gomorrahan whore!" The more she spoke, the harder, faster, and deeper I went until I was hitting it like a jackhammer; and then, "Uuh! Ooh! Oh Jeremy. Don't ... Don't stop. Please don't stop. Granny's about to cum." She screamed as she dug her nails into my back, and the next thing I knew she was squirting cum across my chest and all the way up to my chin. Her asshole tightened around my cock and I whitewashed her colon with a week's worth of built-up semen.

At some point I let go of her legs and she had locked them around my waist. At some point she began kissing me full on the mouth, and at some point, I had begun to kiss her back. My cock was still very hard and still buried in her ass. I lay my head upon her chest and she cradled me into her bosom. Our breathing fell into tandem, as did our still fast-beating hearts. Granny kissed my forehead and said, "I guess you were right after all, Jeremy. All I needed was a good cornholing." A small laugh escaped her lips then. "Your grampa used to say that was the only thing keeping me sane." She took a deep, calming breath, then said, "If you see me acting out, don't hesitate to tell me. We'll make time to do ... this again."

I looked up at her and said, "I'm more of a 'preventative maintenance' kind of guy, Granny. You know, like, if we do this on a regular basis—say, three or four times a week—then we won't have to worry about you going off the deep end again."

"I like the sound of that," she said with a smile. Then, "You know, your cock is still inside of me. You planning on doing something with it?"

"You starting up with me, old woman?"

"If I am?"

I turned over to where Granny was on top. I pulled her down and began to kiss her as I made slow, sweet love to her ass. She had another orgasm, and twenty minutes later I did as well.

It was exceedingly difficult finding time to be together with Mom and Dad around, but Granny and I managed just fine. Mom noticed the change in Granny's attitude and I told her that Granny missed Grampa, was all, that we had talked and she finally made closure with his death.

I eventually graduated college, got a job, and my girlfriend and I got an apartment together, but I always made time for Granny, even when Mom and Dad finally put her in an old folks' home. I'd still stop by two or three times a week for our special time, and did so until the day she finally passed away. I cherish those moments we were able to spend together, for they will never come again.