"Please sit. Pick a chair. Any chair. It does not matter which one."
Always, the patient paused and pondered looking at the chairs, looking back at the psychiatrist, and looking at the chairs, again.
And as soon as the patient picked a chair and was about to sit, Steinberg would say, "Ahhh!" Then, the patient would jump out of the chair and choose a different chair and, again, Steinberg would say, "Ah, hah!" And this act of musical chairs would continue until the patient was a total nervous wreck and refused to sit.
I did not know which chair to pick? Which is how I felt not knowing which "incident of exposure" to tell her about, first. It is, after all, always the first one that you discuss that has the greater ramifications and psychological weight attached to it.
That is why I suspected that she was asking me a trick question because, if I told her about the times I exposed myself to my mother, grandmother, aunts, or sister, then I would have deep seated lust to want to have incestuous sex with them, much like a character in a Shakespearian play. If I told her about the times I exposed myself to my wife's friends, then I would have trust issues and she would insist that I invite my ex-wife in for a chat. If I told her about the times I exposed myself to strangers, then I would have anti-social issues thereby putting a totally different slant to the therapy she would offer. Hell, exposing yourself to anyone is anti-social, so what the Hell. All of this internal dialogue flashed through my mind in nano-seconds. I was in quite the quandary as how to proceed.
"Please continue. I assure you it does not matter which event you chose to tell me about, be it your mother, grandmother, sister, aunts, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, friends, neighbors, and/or strangers."
"It started with my sister, I guess." I took a deep breath. "She was the first one that I remember exposing my cock."
I looked over at her and she crossed her legs, yet, again, only this time more slowly, slow enough for me to get a clear view of her panty clad pussy. Her apparent need to continually cross her legs and in the way in which she crossed them made me wonder if she was purposely exposing herself to me. Nah!
Another man would have been caught looking, but I am an experienced, voyeuristic professional at catching forbidden glimpses of up skirts and down blouses. Do not try this at home, I laughed to myself. Again, all of this internal dialogue flowed thought my mind in nano-seconds.
"At the time, we lived in a four room apartment and none of the rooms had doors. Ergo, we had very little privacy affording me plenty of opportunities not only to expose myself but also to spy on my sister in all manner of undress. She had the habit of walking into my room whenever she felt like it and caught me naked dozens of times and, each time, she stared at my appen, er cock."
She crossed her legs, again, only, this time, too fast for me to see anything.
"Were you more apt to expose yourself after seeing your sister semi-nude or nude?"
"Yes," I did not even have to think about the question. Seeing my sister naked made it seem okay for me to expose myself to her later and for her to see me naked. I guess, I thought, it her reward for allowing me to see her naked. Back then, they did not trim their bushes and she had a forest of dark brown pubic hair."
"Did you ever think that your sister was exposing herself to you?"
"Nah! Actually, I never considered that. Perhaps, she was better at it then I was because I never suspected her of flashing me. I always thought that I was the one who was spying. Still, that would be interesting if she was just as perverted as I was." I laughed.
"I see." She wrote on her pad at a furious pace. She stopped and looked over at me. "Please continue."
"Nonetheless, whichever is the case, if I was spying on her or if she was flashing me, back then, I always found it exciting to show her my cock..." There she did it again. She crossed her legs.
"Please continue."
"Even though, at first, it was accidental, at the time, it still excited me. After that, I wanted her to see my cock..." and again, she crossed her legs, "again and again so being intimately familiar with her routine, I planned when I was going to change so that she would walk in on me at the most opportune times."
"And did you masturbate afterward?" She wiggled in her chair and crossed her legs, again. Finally, I saw the pattern. Every time she or I mentioned masturbation and/or cock, she crosses her legs. I think the doctor is getting turned on by this conversation. Hey, if you wanna see my cock, baby, just ask me. I laughed to myself.
"No, I was too young, then. I did not even know what masturbation was." There, she squirmed in her chair and crossed her legs, again. I decided to test my theory. "Yeah, it was not until later that I discovered masturbation and playing with my cock. Once I discovered masturbation, though, I was always playing with my cock. I could not wait, sometimes, to masturbate and make my cock cum." Oh, boy, she is squirming, now. She crossed her legs again and again giving me a wonderful triangular flash of white panty each time.
"Please continue."
"Back then, before pantyhose, they had garter belts and nylons and that is how my sister dressed for high school, wearing a garter belt. It was kind of hot to watch her putting on her nylons while sitting in her chair in her bedroom topless. Always, I waited until she was naked before accidentally on purposing walking in her room unannounced. She always screamed for my Mom but I got a good look before running out of her room. It certainly was worth the pinch or punch that she would surely give me later. Still, I soon tired of flashing my sister. I mean, how many times can I spy on her and stare at her tits and pussy and how many times can catch me naked and stare at my cock?"
"Please continue." She crossed her legs and fanned herself with her pad.
Soon, it became less exciting for me to see her naked and for her to see my cock." I watched her cross her legs, only, this time, I blatantly stared at her white panty. By her total focus on her paper pad, she seemed so unaware of her reaction to the words and her "incidents of exposing" herself to me. It is like she was hypnotized by the mere mention of the words masturbation and/or cock. I think squirming in her chair and crossing her legs at the mention of words is an involuntary reflexive action. Only, I wished she had taken fashion lessons from Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan and had not worn panties. Man, I would have seen her pussy dozens of times, already.
"That was when I started flashing my cousins. I had some hot cousins and they were always over the house and it was not difficult to find opportunities for them to see my cock."
This time, when she uncrossed and crossed her legs she opened them wider giving me a better view of her inner thighs and her camel toed pussy. In an attempt to fix her skirt, she lifted the hem up in front before smoothing it down but that oblivious motion gave me the best view of her panties, yet.
"Please continue."
"I enjoyed the reactions they had when they saw my cock, especially for the first time. Not that I have a huge cock, but it is larger than average. Around that time, I started getting erections. Still, I think they reacted because it may have been the first cock they had ever seen. One cousin ran from the room screaming every time I exposed my cock to her but she always returned another day for another look reacting in the same way each time. Another of my cousins looked, turned red, and quickly left. Still, she returned another day looking, turning red, and quickly leaving, again. My third cousin, Sue, just stood there and talked to me, as if I was dressed staring at my cock throughout the entirety of conversation. She was the first one who I got an erection with by her staring at me. Matter of fact, it was such a turn on for me to have her see my cock, especially the first time, that when I got an erection my cock dripped cum."
She crossed and uncrossed her legs and I enjoyed the show of seeing her white panties over and again.
"Was that as exciting for you to expose yourself to your cousins rather than to your sister?"
"Oh, God, yes, that was so much more exciting. Matter of fact, it was not much longer after that, that I started playing with my cock," I turned and paused to watch her cross her legs. I was developing a nice erection from continually seeing her white panty, "and masturbating." She did it again, giving me a nice view between her legs.
"Please continue."
"Once, my cousin Sue, came into my bedroom when I was dressing. I only had a t-shirt on and nothing else. She sat on my bed beside me and asked me if she could touch it."
"Did you let her touch your cock?"
"Hell, ya! She stroked it a little and stared at it. When she held it in her hand she giggled and laughed. She fondled it like it was Silly Putty rolling it and kneading it between her fingers. Later, over the months, she jerked me off three times and even put it in her mouth once and sucked on it a little but that was only for a few seconds. But, dozens of times, she allowed me to see her tits, feel them, and suck her nipples. That was really exciting. I jerked off over that for years afterward. Even though she allowed me to lift up her skirt and feel her ass and pussy through her panties, I never got to see her pussy."
"Please continue."
"Like a junkie needing another fix, I continually needed to expose myself. That was when I started exposing myself to the neighbors by dressing with the blinds up and the lights on when I knew they'd be home and watching. Then, afterwards, I would relive the scenario in my mind and masturbate to it." Again, she crossed her legs showing me more of her white panty.
"Please continue."
