The Pain-Pleasure Balance

This is the final chapter and there's not a lot of sex in it until near the end so be warned it is not a stroke story if that is what you're after.

As always, I would love to have constructive criticism

and comments.

LB

Chapter 18

Brigid hadn't seen me yet because Caitlin had gone beyond the barrier to greet her but she soon would. Maybe she wouldn't recognise me but to me there was no doubt I was looking at my beloved sister.

The hair was much shorter, cut in a pixy style, but still a vibrant flame red and as she got closer I could see that the years had been very kind to her; the slanting green eyes still sparkled, the high cheek bones had not sagged, the full mouth was still luscious and her adorable retroussé nose still gave her that foxy look that I found so appealing.

Just like her daughter's face.

Then it hit me that I was surely going to hell for this. If falling in love with my sister wasn't bad enough, I'd compounded the sin by falling for my niece as well.

However, I had a more pressing problem than my future in the afterlife ... how do I play this? She still hadn't seen me as Caitlin was hugging her and blocking her view but I was waiting for our glances to meet and the shock of recognition to cross her face ...

It never came. No sign of recognition whatsoever.

Our eyes did meet as Caitlin released her and motioned for me to come forward but all I could see was a forced smile which I took to be of the '

so you're the unsuitable boyfriend my daughter has the stupidity to get involved with'

variety on her face.

Caitlin was gushing over the introductions.

"Sean, hun, come meet my Mom, Kate. Mom, this is Sean."

Brigid / Kate reached out her hand and I hurriedly extended mine to shake it.

"Hi, Sean, pleased to meet you. Caitlin has told me so much about you."

"Umm ... yes, hi Kate, good to meet you ... "

We were shaking hands like complete strangers.

What the fuck?

The puzzlement must have shown on my face as Caitlin picked up on it.

"Is everything ok, babe? You look confused."

I looked over at her and then back to Kate.

"Umm ... yeah ... have we met before? You look familiar. Maybe we met when we were younger."

Kate looked thoughtful and then shook her head.

"No, I don't think so. I think I'd remember you if we had."

I was dumbfounded at the apparent lack of recognition and I had to consider the possibility that she really wasn't Brigid. I tried to rearrange my face into a neutral mask as I didn't want yet more questions.

Caitlin ushered her away and left me to grab her bag and we headed out into the sunshine to the car-park.

Chapter 19

I was silent for most of the journey back to the villa apart from when Caitlin brought me into the conversation. I must have been acting moody because I got an ear-bashing from her when we got out of the car and Kate was out of earshot.

"What's the matter with you. Stop being so fucking miserable. You're spoiling it for my Mom."

I said the only thing I could think of.

"I'm sorry sweetheart but I don't think she likes me. I think I'll keep out of the way for a bit and let you and her catch up."

She screwed her face up in annoyance but eventually relented.

"Ok, maybe we can all go out for dinner tonight and you and she can get to know each other. I'll try and work on her this afternoon and put her straight about us ... how we feel about each other ... once she sees how much in love we are then she'll come around. Don't worry baby, it will be ok."

She kissed me lovingly and went to find her mother as I made my way up to my apartment. I poured myself a beer and lay on the couch staring at the ceiling as a myriad of thoughts flashed through my brain.

Was it Brigid?

If she was my sister, she was a fantastic actress, but why was she denying who she was.

If it was Brigid then what did it mean for the future ... all our futures ... was there a future for me and Caitlin ... was there a future for me and Brigid ... how could I have such strong feelings for two women ... what did I want ... who did I want ...?

Fuck!

Things were complicated but to make them less complicated I drank more beer ... lots more beer ... and fell asleep.

I was woken by someone knocking on the connecting door from the villa and I managed to get my befuddled brain together enough to sit up as the door opened and I saw Kate peering in.

"Umm ... Kate ... come in ... what can I do for you? Would you like a drink? Is Caitlin with you?"

I was babbling but she ignored it and stepped through the door closing it behind her and leaning against it. She had a knowing smile on her face as she looked over at me.

"Hi Fearg. Long time no-see."

Despite the fact I had been agonising as to whether this really was my twin sister my jaw still dropped open when she confirmed it. I could hardly breathe so my answer wasn't eloquent.

"Hi yourself, Bridge."

Then I was on my feet and moving quickly towards her with my arms outstretched ready to wrap her in the biggest hug the world has ever seen but she put up a hand to stop me.

"No, Fearg. Please don't touch me. If you do I won't be able to say what I need to."

I stopped and the surprise and trepidation I felt was evident on my face.

"That sounds serious, Bridge. I just want to hold you ... I've dreamed about this moment for 19 years and ... this isn't how I saw it playing out."

Brigid sighed.

"What? You saw us falling into each other's arms and carrying on like nothing happened?"

"Well, no ... yes! That is, assuming you still feel the same as I do. It might be strange at first but once we get reacquainted then ... well ... love like ours should ..."

I stopped speaking as I saw a familiar frown appear on her face that told me all I need to know. She was pissed off with me. Already!

"It doesn't matter how I feel or the fact that you are ready to pick up where we left off. We caused a lot of trouble 19 yeas ago ... and that's nothing to what we would cause now. How is it going to play with Caitlin ...

sorry darling but I'm giving you the elbow so I can be with your mother

... and that's without telling her we're brother and sister? Or do you want both of us in bed at the same time ... the ultimate incest fantasy, huh?"

She was getting angrier and I held my hands up and backed away a bit as the glint in her eye took on an ominous tone. I tried to placate her.

"Whoa ... just hold up for a moment. I'm not suggesting anything of the sort. I said I wanted to get reacquainted with a woman I still love ... maybe it will be a physical relationship but maybe not. What I really want is the 'you' as a companion, a friend, a partner, a soul-mate that I have known since we were born."

Brigid snorted in derision.

"What a platonic relationship with me while you fuck Caitlin? That's not going to happen, not if I've got anything to do with it."

I couldn't help a smirk.

"What are you jealous of your daughter? Do you really think I'm going for my sexy young niece instead of my old sister ..."

Brigid gasped and shook her head slowly in disbelief.

"You dumb shit ... haven't you worked it out ... she's not your niece, she's your daughter."

Chapter 20

My daughter!

Could this day get any crazier?

My head was spinning and I sat down heavily in the couch. Brigid stepped towards me still shaking her head but with an affectionate smile playing in her eyes.

"For a smart guy, you're awfully stupid at times. Hadn't you done the maths it's almost 19 years since ... well ... that day and she's just had her 18

th

birthday. Dummy!"

I smiled wanly at her and shook my head.

"Look, I've only just confirmed that you are Brigid and not Kate ... what's with the name change by the way ... and you expect me to be doing mental arithmetic about Caitlin's birthday when I'm coming to terms with finding you again ... Jesus ... a daughter ... this is crazy ... scary crazy. Christ! What do we tell her? She'll be ... shocked ... devastated ... blown away ... fuck knows. She'll think we're making it up ... Bridge ... help me out here, what do we do?"

She sat down beside me and reached for my hand with both of hers and looked searchingly into my eyes.

"Look, Fearg, she doesn't know anything about her father ... I just told her that the sperm donor buggered off when he found out I was pregnant. But we need to tell her ... because ... you and she, it can't happen ... not in the way she's talking about it ... marriage ... kids ... the whole nine yards. Trust me, I'm not being a hypocrite when I say that you can't have an incestuous relationship with our daughter ... I have no room to speak ... neither of us do ... but the genetic risk for your children would be much higher than for her."

I sighed heavily and shook my head wearily.

"Fuck! What a mess! I guess we need to come clean about me being her dad. That should make her run a mile in the opposite direction."

Brigid smiled knowingly.

"I'm not so sure. She's not really known a proper father ... I guess she's told you about what O'Meara did ... but the fact she's gone for an older man might mean she's looking for a Daddy-substitute. The fact the substitute just turns out to be her real biological father might swing it completely the other way. Ok, she didn't know at the time that you were her dad but GSA ... Genetic Sexual Attraction ... must have played a part in you falling for each other. I think she will want more. I certainly would if I were in her shoes."

She was smirking when she said this and I pondered her answer for a moment. Did I want to continue my relationship with Caitlin? Did knowing I was her father change things? It certainly felt different. I still needed to know what Brigid wanted and looked questioningly at her.

"You would be happy about that? Knowing that I'm her father ... us making love ... having sex?"

She shrugged.

"It's already happened. It's not like I have any claim on you ... "

She left that hanging there with '

Do I

?' as an unspoken question.

I grinned and did the hard work for her.

"Don't you?"

She gave a coquettish giggle, playing obtuse.

"Do I?"

"You know you do. From 26 minutes after I was born and you came along. Nothing has changed for me since I told you that 19 years ago ..."

I paused and looked at her intently.

"Has it for you?"

By way of an answer she smiled gently and lifted both hands to cup my face and bent forward and her sexy, kissable mouth gently caressed my own.

It was unlike any kiss I had ever had from anyone. It wasn't lust-filled and voracious but nor was it a chaste peck as might be expected between two siblings meeting for the first time in nearly 20 years. It was enquiring and exploratory, it asked questions and received answers and it spoke of boundless love between us. Slowly our arms started to entwine around each other and as our bodies started to mould together, it spoke of the deeper passions that lurked beneath the surface of both of us.

It told me that I wasn't the only twin still feeling inappropriately about the other.

After an all too brief moment we broke apart as if by telepathic mutual consent and breathlessly smiled at each other. The smiles were those of two people who finally meet for the first time after having conversed by email and telephone for years. We recognise each other from the photos we had exchanged but here was that person in the flesh and they are so much more than we had expected.

I reached a hand up to gently caress her cheek; my voice was croaky with emotion.

"Hi. I love you."

She grasped the back of my hand and kissed the palm. Her eyes were serious as she murmured to me.

"I know. I've always known that and even during the last 19 years I knew you still loved me even if we were not together. Just like my love for you has never dimished."

Tears appeared in her eyes and I kissed them away.

"Don't cry babe, it's over, we're together again and nothing will come between us this time"

She nodded but there was a hint of horror in her expression.

"I know but I was thinking back to the last time I saw you. I thought Da was going to kill you but fortunately Mum made him see sense once you were unconscious. They wouldn't listen to anything I said about how much we loved each other and basically told me that they would call the police and have you arrested for rape if I didn't do as I was told. Worse still, once we got to Ireland, a couple of Da's brothers said they would beat you to death if I tried to make contact with you or if you turned up looking for me."

I hugged her tight and we kissed some more as we exchanged our stories. Brigid had been taken to Ireland where she was never allowed out of sight. Mindful of the threats against me she kept her head down and accepted that she would have to wait until time had passed before she could try and find me. However, when she discovered she was pregnant ... in all the confusion she had never taken the morning-after pill ... the family wanted her to have an abortion or to give the baby up for adoption but she refused as the baby was a tangible link to me. To save the family's reputation she agreed to go and have the baby in the USA and stayed at a distant cousin's house in Baltimore. Once Caitlin was born, she remained in the area rather than return to the UK or Ireland and by then she had broken off all contact with our parents. To be more precise, they had broken contact with her and had never met their granddaughter. It was at this point she adopted one of her other birth names, Kaetlyn, as a sign of solidarity with our daughter and to wave a metaphorical two fingers at our parents.

Like me she started to use the internet to try and trace me but to no avail as by then I had dropped the name Fearghus and was in the Royal Marines so wasn't exactly a prolific social media user. Eventually she decided that it caused her too much hurt when promising leads turned out to be false and stopped using Facebook, deleting her own profile.

She had decided to keep the truth from Caitlin about her parentage and explained it as the result of a one-night stand and a religious aversion to abortion. Once Caitlin got older there had been a few recriminations about men especially once her step-father became too handsy and Brigid threw him out. In her words she had married the guy, a work colleague, to provide a male role model for Caitlin and some stability in both their lives. It had worked for a few years but wasn't exactly a match made in heaven and she had not gone looking for another life-partner since the divorce.

She had decided to move back to the UK so Caitlin could go to Uni there and had attempted to make contact with Mum and Da only to find that Da had died about two years ago and Mum was suffering from dementia and in a care home. She did not know who Brigid was when she visited her a few weeks ago.

"So, you see babe, we could go back to the UK and set up home together and no one will bother us."

By now we were lying side by side on the couch and holding onto each other for dear life, especially at emotionally charged moments in our stories. She looked hopefully at me as she said it and I rolled her onto her back and kissed her very gently.

"I would like that more than anything in the world. We've spent too much of our lives apart and I'm not letting you out of my sight."

I kissed her again and this time she responded more passionately as our mouths devoured each other and our tongues battled fiercely. My free hand started to roam and she moaned into my mouth as I cupped her bra-less breast through her dress and I felt the nipple harden in my palm. Her own hand snaked down over my belly to grasp my rigid shaft straining against my shorts and giggled as she squeezed it.

"Someone remembers me at least ... Fearg ... I want you ... now ... just fuck me ... I need you inside me ... just to prove this is not a dream. Please baby, fuck me, please."

She did it with the doe eyes and the pleading voice from our childhood that she knew made me putty in her hands and giggled her triumph when I rolled on top of her and started to pull my board shorts down. She was desperately pulling the skirt of her sundress up as my cock emerged and she grasped the head in one hand as she pulled the crotch of her thong to one side and pulled me into her warm, wet pussy. We both sighed at the blissful sensation and I started to move slowly as we relished the ...

"Sean, hun, have you seen my Mom? ...HOLY FUCKING SHIT ... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Why do we never lock the door?

Chapter 21

"WHAT THE FUCK ... Mom? Sean ... NO ... What ... STOP ... YOU PAIR OF FUCKING CHEATING BASTARDS ... what ... no ... you ... fucking cunts ... Noooo!"

She turned back to the door in tears and Brigid pushed me off and got off the couch like she was fired from a cannon.

"Caitlin, wait, sweetie, wait please ... I can ... we can explain ... just WAIT ... please!"

Her daughter turned her angry tear stained face towards her.

"Why ... Bitch? What explanation can there be for you fucking my boyfriend after meeting him for the first time less than 6 hours ago. You fucking WHORE ... FUCKING SLUT ... "

She moved towards her with an upraised hand and I got up very quickly and got between them. All that did was give her a larger target to slap and punch and kick so I grabbed her wrists and twisted her around so that she was held tight against my chest with her back to me. She was crying and snarling at us the whole time calling us cunts ... bitches ... bastards ...

"Caitlin, stop... please stop ... listen to your mother ... please ... but the first thing you need to know is that Kate ... umm I know her as Brigid ... and I are not meeting for the first time today ... "

"So fucking what ... so she's fucked you before ... SLUT! BITCH! ... you fucking bastards ... "

Her anger started to evaporate and then I felt her body start to heave with huge shuddering sobs as the pain of betrayal manifested itself.

"I love you ... I wanted you to be the one ... you fucked her ... I HATE YOU ... "

Brigid stood in front of her but Caitlin did not lift her head to look at her so her mother cupped her chin.

"Caitlin, darling, I'm sorry, we're sorry, this is not how I ... we wanted you to find out."

Caitlin spat at her mother but I could tell she was a quivering emotional mess but was keeping up the bravado.

"What bitch? Say what you have to say and let me get out of here."

Brigid calmly wiped the saliva of her face with her hand.

"I ... umm ... Sean and I ... we last saw each other almost exactly19 years ago ... and yes, we fucked. Several times."

"So, why are you telling me this? So, you fucked him before. That doesn't make it right that you steal my cheating bastard of a boyfriend away ... he's mine ... was mine ... fucking bastard."

Brigid smiled gently at her and then looked at me.

"Math never was her strong subject. Seems like she got it from her father"

She looked back at her daughter's angry, sneering face.

"Caitlin, I know this will come as a shock but Sean is your dad, although I knew him as Fearghus back then ..."

I could feel the tension in her body change in an instant.

"What? He's ... my father ... but you said ..."

Caitlin tried to look round at me and I sensed that she probably wasn't going to resort to violence anymore and let her go. She glared at me and then fixed her mother with a questioning stare. Brigid carried on.

"I know what I told you about your conception but it wasn't the truth. We ... me and Fearg ...err ... Sean ...were in love ..."