Author's note: This is a work of fiction, written solely for entertainment purposes. The author strongly condemns acts portrayed in the story in the real world. All characters are above 18.
***
Meredith rocked her leg as she watched the second hand of the big wall mounted clock move silently towards the top in small jerking motions, reaching twelve. Dr. Tabac was supposed to join them at twelve. It was now a few seconds past twelve, and there was no sign of him. Was that a good sign? Was he waiting for the final results from the lab? It could also be a bad omen. Perhaps he was procrastinating, figuring out how to tell them the bad news.
Meredith fidgeted on the padded armchair. She wanted to stand up and walk. She wanted to call her friends. She wanted Dr. Tabac to enter through the door. She wanted something to happen. The waiting was unbearable.
The feel of a hand on hers made her head turn abruptly to her left. It was Jerry. He was sitting right next to her. "Don't worry, honey," he said, smiling reassuringly while patting her hand. "Everything will be fine."
Meredith smiled and put the right hand on top of his. Jerry always made her smile. He was the kind of man who always had the answers. He always knew what to do. Meredith knew she wasn't the easiest person to live with. She could be impulsive and emotional, but Jerry knew how to contain her and what she needed. He was her rock in a storm, her beacon in a dark night. He was always there for her. Meredith wanted to reach his silver hair and stroke it. She wanted to hug her, but at that moment she heard the side door open.
"Hello Jerry, How's it going?" rumbled Dr. Tabac in his bass voice, as he strode over to Jerry and raised his hand. Meredith tried to find cues in the doctor's face, but his mouth lay hidden beneath a bushy moustache. His eyes were lit, but he and Jerry were longtime friends, and he was probably happy to see him again.
Jerry rose from his chair, smiling. The skin near his eyes formed little creases. "Fine, Jake. Thanks a lot for seeing us so soon."
"No big deal, Jerry, always a pleasure to see you."
Meredith straightened the folds of her silk skirt and rose from her chair. She felt her heart beating in her chest. She had no patience for social courtesies. She wanted to know.
Dr. Tabac finally left Jerry's hand and took Meredith's, saying, "How are you, Meredith?"
Meredith smiled, replying, "I'm fine. How are you?"
Dr. Tabac didn't answer her, but just smiled and looked her in the eyes. Looking at Jerry, he said, "Well, please sit down. I'd like to have a word with you two."
They both sat as Dr. Tabac rounded his oak wood desk and pulled his swivel chair forward, sitting opposite them. He opened a manila folder and rested his hands on the desk, wrists on the desk and fingertips forming a small pyramid.
Meredith leaned forward. The beating in her chest grew wild. Without noticing, her hand went sideways, searching Jerry's hand and holding it.
"As you know, we have conducted a series of tests following your complaints." Dr. Tabac looked at the couple, his eyes darting from Jerry to Meredith.
Meredith looked at Jerry. She felt beads of sweat running down her forehead, but didn't want to leave Jerry's hand.
Dr. Tabac looked at Jerry. "I'm afraid pregnancy is not an option. The mumps orchitis you had a few years back severely damaged your sperm count. There is also a qualitative problem." Dr. Tabac shifted his gaze to Meredith. "I'm sorry, but you may wish to consider other alternatives."
Meredith didn't hear the last sentence. She was frozen, staring forwards. Dr. Tabac's words hit her like a landslide. She kept hearing them again and again. Pregnancy is not an option...not an option...not an option. Her right hand clutched the armrest as though it were a lifeline. She felt Jerry hold her hand with both his hands. The room started to shrink, closing in on her.
She heard Jerry talk, but it seemed as his voice echoed from a distance. "How about all those new treatments like IVF and micromanipulation?"
Dr. Tabac shook his head from side to side. "You can try, Jerry, but I advise you not to. It's just a waste of time and money."
Meredith tried to talk. Her throat was dry. She swallowed and managed to emit a rasping voice, "You mean, there's no chance at all? Nothing?"
Dr. Tabac looked at her, tilting his head. "There's always a chance, but it's so slim, it's practically impossible."
Meredith started to shiver. She felt tears welling in her eyes. In her mind, she had considered a tough answer, but the harsh truth thrown at her like that, breaking her heart, was just too much. Somehow, she believed it would be alright. She thought there would be some hope, some option. She thought she would have to endure pain and hardship, difficult medical treatments and medications' side effects. She presumed it won't be easy, but she had never expected this. All of her daydreams, all her scenarios, all of her hopes lay before her, smashed to smithereens.
Meredith could stay put no longer. She stood up and ran out of the doctor's office, tears flowing down her face. Jerry stood up and turned around to follow her, calling, "Meredith!"
Dr. Tabac's voice boomed at him. "She'll need time, Jerry. She'll need time."
Jerry's shoulders slumped. He turned back. His mouth stretched to a thin line. He raised his hand.
"Thanks again, Jake. You've been a real help."
Dr. Tabac smiled as he shook Jerry's hand. "Don't mention it." The smile left his face. "Look, if there's anything I can do..."
Jerry cut him as he turned around. "You've done more than enough."
Jerry found Meredith standing near his car in the clinic's carpark. He took her in his arms as she rested her head on his chest, sobbing silently.
"Baby, we'll get a second opinion. This isn't the end..."
Meredith backed away, holding Jerry by his shoulders. "No, Jerry." She wiped her eyes with her right hand. "It will only make things worse. Let's go."
Jerry stood for a few seconds, looking at his wife. He walked around the car and entered the driver's side. Meredith opened the passenger door and sat beside him, buckling up. As they drove back to the house, Jerry looked at her and opened his mouth to talk, but closed it once he understood she was caught up in her own world.
Meredith looked out the window at the street. It was a nice day, and quite a few people walked the sun washed pavements. Sounds of music and shouting sifted through the closed window. They passed Danlo park, where couples and families flooded the lawns. Children were running in the playgrounds.
It had been three years since she had married Jerry. Some of her friends raised an eyebrow when they met him. He was divorced with a 17-year-old child and fifteen years older than her. She didn't care. She was in love. Jerry felt so right. Their wedding day was the happiest day of her life. She knew some of Jerry's relatives saw her as a gold digger. That's why she had insisted on a pre-nup. That was why she made it a habit to mention her on-line business every time she met with Jerry's family. Jerry wasn't a wallet. He was the real deal.
Meredith was as happy as she could be, but something was missing. She wanted a child. Jerry already had a son from his previous marriage, Luke. She had nothing. She craved a baby. She wanted to hold it in her arms and sing to it. She wanted to look after it. She wanted to watch her baby grow. She kept having those fantasies about whether it would be a boy or a girl, or how she would call her. Every time she saw a mother rolling a prim in the street, she felt a small stabbing pain in her chest.
Jerry understood her perfectly, of course, so they tried and tried, but to no avail. It was his idea to go to Dr. Tabac. She was reluctant. She had an ominous feeling regarding a medical workup. It was as though she had foreseen the dead end.
They arrived at their house. Jerry exited the car from his side and walked around it to Meredith. He started to hug her again, saying, "I'll take a day off. Let's go someplace. It's a beautiful day."
Meredith raised her head. "No, you've wasted enough time already. Go to the office. I'll be fine. Jerry unfolded his arms slowly. "Are you sure, honey?"
Meredith wiped her eyes again. "Yes, yes I am. Go. I'll be fine."
She watched Jerry enter the car and drive away. She even managed a gentle smile as she waved at him. Meredith watched the car speed away. That was it. She was alone.
Meredith walked the path to the front door of the house. She entered and locked the door behind her. She was tired. Her shoulders felt heavy. Every step seemed like climbing a mountain. She walked up the staircase, one stair at a time, holding on to the rail. Stopping at the top of the staircase, she looked down at the first stair, sighing. She then continued down the corridor. Sounds were coming out of Luke's room. Luke was studying in college, but liked to visit his father during vacations. She and Luke got along fine. He had already come to terms with his parents' divorce, and he knew it was important to his father that they'd get along. He was always nice to her.
Meredith was used to Luke's taste of loud music, but this time the sounds were different. She didn't make much of it until she passed Luke's room. The door was slightly ajar, and she looked inside as she walked by. It was an absent-minded movement of her head, a reflex reaction to the loud and strange noise. But it was what she saw, not what she heard, that made her almost drop her purse. She took a step back and covered her open mouth with her hand.
Luke was sitting naked in front of his computer screen. The noise she had heard was moans and grunts coming from the loudspeakers. His head hid most of the screen, but the movement of his right elbow and the occasional voices from the loudspeakers ("Oh, right there. Give it to me right there.") left no room for error. Luke was watching porn and masturbating.
Meredith breathed deeper and deeper until she calmed down. So what? All men watch porn. All men masturbate. It doesn't mean anything. Some people even claim it its part of growing up. All she had to do was walk as quietly as she could towards the end of the corridor and forget it had ever happened.
She was already moving when something made her stop. Luke started grunting and moving his elbow faster. He threw something to the floor as he stood up, pushing the chair behind him. Her eyes tracked the object in its trajectory towards the floor. The color pattern seemed familiar. Chills crawled all over her as she recognized one of her panties. What the hell? Was the little pervert using her underwear as a masturbation aid? How in the world did he get it? Was she supposed to start locking doors? How long was that going on? Could she be wearing now something he had...well...used?
Luke didn't give her time to think of answers. He turned around, throwing one of her bras on the bed. Meredith recoiled, but Luke was so immersed, he probably wouldn't have noticed an elephant at his door. Luke put one of his feet on the bed, giving Meredith a full view of him, holding his penis in his fist, rubbing it back and forth.
Meredith covered her mouth, stifling a scream, as her heard Luke grunt and say, "Suck my cock, Meredith." as he continued his pumping motions. Meredith couldn't believe her ears. How...How could this happen? What was going on?
