So, yeah, let's talk about my fucking prom, spring of my senior year, which turned out worse than you might expect, because this is my fucking life.
Jim. Great guy, maybe nerdy to other girls, but I had a thing for him. I'd had actually had my eye on him for ages. He was way better than the guys I sucked off for fun. He was smart, funny, and grounded in a way I could never even pretend to be. He had like the whole real, happy family shit going on and stuff. I could actually see myself with him, you know? I mean, do things a different way, with a different purpose. Be a different person with him.
Maybe I was attracted more to his family and his life than to him. I don't know.
So Jim, he hooked up with another girl at the prom, pretty soon after we got there, the girl he really liked, some nerdy, shy creature named Carly who had an even flatter chest than mine. No shit. Go figure.
So they just skedaddled, leaving me there to slowly, agonizingly figure out that I'd been ditched, then wallow in it, then realize that everyone else was going to know that I'd been ditched and make my life even more of a hell than it already was. It's my life, right? I should have known that it was inevitable. A romantic prom, a blossoming romance with a normal guy, a new direction for me. Yeah, right.
The skinny dork, I forget his name, that came with nerdy, flat-chested Carly, once reality hit him in the cerebrum, stumbled over to talk to me. He approached me so gingerly I felt like I had a force field around me, pushing him back. Maybe it's because I was the girl who sucked cock, or maybe it was the smoldering, intimidating look on my face. He, on the other hand, looked lost and hurt and confused, like a puppy that desperately needs to be let outside to pee. I talked to him in short snippets, hoping he'd go away, until I started feel sorry for him. For a moment I tried to console the idiot, and make jokes like my Dad does, until I watched it dawn on him that he might have traded up to the wild tomboy with tattoos and a well-known penchant for giving exquisite blowjobs.
I shut that shit right down.
But I still needed a ride home, and Mom was no doubt passed out on the sofa, and if not, she'd never keep the car on the road long enough to get here and let me take the wheel. There was no way I was getting into a car with Carly's castoff dork. So I called my dad, who was away on a business trip. He drove almost three hours to pick me up, while I spent a tortured eternity trying to blend in and act happy and normal, so no one would realize that I'd been fucking, embarrassingly dumped.
Dad got there around 2 AM, when it was getting really hard to hide the awful truth, but I think I maybe had succeeded. I think by then everyone else thought Jim had just gotten drunk or sick and was waiting for it to wear off. And then my stupid idiot of a dad wrecked the whole damned thing by actually coming all the way into the place to look for me. So now the entire fucking known universe knows my dorky dad had to come to pick me up from the prom.
I mean, people aren't stupid, and I was kidding myself. They probably had already figured things out by then. My best hope was probably that no one actually cared enough to notice, except that it was fucking high school, where everything gets noticed and discussed. There were certainly all sorts of whispered or not so whispered bathroom and side conversations about how the weird, sex-crazed girl got dumped, but what did she expect? He was out of her league. She was weird. And deviant. And perpetually alone.
But Dad, right there in the middle of everything, like the ringmaster in a fucking circus, with the spotlight right on him. I slipped along the edge of the room to the door, while he looked all around. When he looked my way, he caught my eye long enough to know I'd seen him, and I sidestepped out the emergency exit door, letting it slam closed behind me.
He followed me out, and I held it together, chewing on my tongue, avoiding a scene, until we got into the car and started to pull out. Then I let him have it, screaming, crying, twice I punched his shoulder, hollering at what a fucking useless dolt he was.
He sheepishly took it all. He looked honestly pained, once I pointed out his fucking obvious fucking how-could-anyone-do-that mistake, but I felt no pity for him. I tortured him the whole way home, as if everything that had transpired that night was his fault, not Jim's, not Carly's, not high school life's, and certainly not mine.
I put it all on him, and he took it all, silently, without complaint. Not without feeling. He felt bad. I made him feel bad, and I could see on his face that he felt it. I still feel bad about that now, myself.
He did make me laugh a few times, during the ride home. He told me Jim would probably get Carly pregnant, and they'd have nerd babies that learned to play the violin and joined the glee club and ruined their futures. I wasn't sure if that made me feel better or worse. He said that proms were invented to make the rest of your life feel like a success, and no one left them unscathed. I'm not sure that made me feel better, either, but it made me laugh without lessening my anger. I thought at the time he was just trying to deflect that anger, and to make himself feel better about what a stupid-ass prick he'd been, but I realize now that he'd done what he'd always done, he made me laugh to ease my own pain, not his, and as a back-handed way of making me feel better about myself.
The thing was, he had driven three fucking hours to get me. He was going to have to drive three hours back, to arrive back wherever he was at six AM and function on zero sleep. And he hates driving. He hated that job, beyond anything I could ever remember.
But he did all that for me. To abuse him for it. I sat there, being an insensitive, ungrateful, spoiled little shit, making him feel like shit the whole way and for weeks after, when he was really, really putting himself out there for me.
He came to get me, and more than that, he was the only fucking person on earth who could or would have come to get me. Good or bad, skirt-chasing prick or not, clueless, idiot loser-of-a-dad or not, he was the one guy in the universe that I could always, always, always count on to bail me out of a bad situation, even if he made it a little worse in the process.
My dad. My fucking, awesome dad.
* * *
Okay, sorry yet again. Dad and I had... a moment. He kissed me, I kissed him back, we sort of got going, but we both felt too rancid from a long, hot day to just jump in the sack, so we took a shower together. And yes, we did it in the shower, and yes, it was wonderful. I love when he lifts me up, holds me in the air by my ass, and kisses me and fucks me with the hot water streaming down our bodies. He has complete control of me when he does that, raising and lowering me on his cock as it pleases him. It's amazing to me how quickly he can make me come when he has complete control like that.
