The Mind of an Incest Fantasizer

I have some... interesting sexual thoughts to say the least. Why do I think these things? Was it trauma? No, as far as I know I've lead a trauma-free life. No creepy uncles, no unwanted touches, just your basic childhood I guess. Yet, for many years now, I've had fantasies of illegal things, things that would turn people away from me if they ever knew. I have a lot of fantasies about sex with my family.

I know, it's gross. It grosses me out. There's no logical reason why I would think these things. The wannabe psychologist in me understands that these thoughts often stem from some form of trauma - a broken brain desperate from healing. But what causes these thoughts when there is no trauma? Was Freud right, do we all secretly want to fuck our parents? Has society turned us against our most primal thoughts?

It's interesting how incest is so looked down upon in society, yet so many of us fantasize it. If you look at any porn site, the top videos nearly always involve some form of incest. Why is that? How can it be so shamed yet so desired? We live in a world where people justify the actions of rapists, but not the actions of consensual adults.

I want to refer to that word again, consensual. This is the most meaningful word when it comes to incest. When people hear the word incest, they think of rape and molestation. Those are terrible things I will never support. The question then becomes how can incest itself be consensual? Easy - if it's wanted, if it has no pressure, no power plays, and no fear of what 'no' could bring, then it can be consensual. The concept of incest is gross to many, and I understand why. Even as someone who fantasizes it I still find it disturbing. But how can we let our personal feelings come between consent? I find scat porn to be gross, but who am I to tell consenting adults they can't shit on each other? It's not my place to define, legalize, and punish the joy of others.

A lot of my fantasies revolve around my father and mother. Yes, I am bisexual. My first sexual thoughts were about my brother, but those faded over time. I often think about my parents and I having sex in various situations. Many of my fantasies involve me asking them to teach me about the birds and the bees. I do fantasize about 'forced' situations. I say 'forced' because I do consent to them in my mind and would absolutely love for them to happen to me. These fantasies include my mother being angry and me, spanking me, then fingering me, and my father walking in on me in the shower and forcing me to give him a blowjob.

I confessed these things online one time to a stranger. It was on a random chat room dedicated to sex. They told me I was gross, which made me feel dirty. The filth I felt inside of me turned me on. Is that the secret behind incest fantasies, that we love the filth and humiliation of it?

My parents think that I'm a bum, a depressed millennial with no work ethic. Truth be told, I fear a life without them. What would I do if I couldn't wake up day after day and see the aging of my family. How would I get off without hearing my parents having sex with each other and imaging myself between them? How could I become my father's lover the day my mom finally leaves him for the man she's cheated him on? How could I comfort him and his lonely cock after weeks of celibacy?

I've never wanted a man more in this world than I want my father. The only men I've fucked have been daddy doms because then at least saying 'daddy' during sex makes sense. I'm able to, in a very lowkey way, express my desires for him. I've only let men fuck me from behind. Seeing their face while screaming 'daddy' is a turn off for me. It takes away from the fantasy of it being my father. I hope one day I'm able to find a man that allows me to call him my father. I imagine finding a man that looks, speaks and acts like my father. I know being with my father is out of the question, but at least I could be with someone similar to him.

Mommy play is common with the lesbian and bisexuals I know. One woman recently had a baby and was allowing people to try her breast milk. She lightly rubbed my pussy while I drank her milk. It was the most erotic moment of my life. I want to balance it out by finding a man who can do something equally as sexy. I'm thinking of finding a partner to do a consent/non-consent scene with me where they're wearing a mask, fuck me, speak to me and I recognize their voice as being my father's. I would have to find a man with a similar build and voice, which shouldn't be too hard. He's a fairly typical looking man. He doesn't have extraordinary looks or anything. If you saw him you'd think "that's a dad" but damn it, I want him. I want him so badly.

I've looked into other parts of incest. Brother sister, uncle niece, aunt niece, step family, but none of them do it for me, especially not the step scenarios. Nothing dries my pussy up faster than hearing the word 'step' in porn. Why add that in there? It's so useless and is a killjoy.

I have times where I fantasize myself as the daughter of my friend's parents. I imagine what it would be like to be my friends being fucked by their parents. Every sexual thought I have is around incest. Is that normal? Is anything about this blog rant thing normal?

Anywho, I'm about to flip through pictures of my parents at the beach from this past summer. You can see the outline of my mother's nipples in one photo and it's very sexy. I stole one of my dad's shirts earlier and I'm going to place it over my head while I image him on top of me.

Fuck.