Julia laid on her bed, fingers trembling in a fury, chest rumbling without relent as she struggled to hold her pen to the paper. A tug-o-war raged inwardly with one side telling her she was out of her mind for what she contemplated. The other side believed she would be relieved to do what she considered and she had a chance to be with the woman that filled her dreams.
Asking a guy out was one thing. Asking out another woman was something different especially when it wasn't clear the object of your desire liked girls
and
you. That woman being an older sister was another level of insanity.
Julia thought writing her feelings about Cindy on paper would make it easier but it served to increase the madness between her ears.
Who has deep romantic feelings for a family member, a sibling no less? The audio in Julia's mind continued to play in what seemed to be an endless loop.
You're disgusting and sinful for entertaining this! What's wrong with you? Do you need mental health treatment? No, wait. Is it because you've been single for almost a year? Yeah, that has to be it.
It wasn't. True, she hadn't dated since she began her freshman year. Julia and her high school sweetheart wound up going to different colleges hundreds of miles apart. Their long distance relationship lasted all of a few weeks after their university lives began and Julia was too buried beneath the pressures of her new life to so much as think about being with anyone else.
No one except her own sister...
Her dating drought could not strengthen a desire for Cindy that already existed.
Since they knew of each other's existences, when someone saw one sister, the other was there or not far away. Cindy was there when Julia fell from her bicycle with an arm of comfort and Band-Aids. They shared their silly secrets about what guys they liked and discussed the latest dating gossip around school. The girls tested each other's love interests and dating them would not happen without the opposite sister's approval. They would take the blame when the other got into trouble as the image of their punishment brought crushing despair. Not least of all, Cindy turned heads and caused double and triple takes from both genders. Her time on the school volleyball team only helped to do wonders for her figure. What was not to love?
Julia watched a mental slideshow of her and Cindy engaged in a kiss that burned their lips while snuggled in each other's arms. Julia snapped back to reality, breaths pumping in excitement, but inside a concoction of fear and future regret if she revealed her secret to Cindy's disdain.
Julia hollered and banged her head on the comforter. She was back at her parents' home for the summer and Cindy was on her way from university to join them. Due to arrive any moment, the walls of time closed in and ticked down for Julia decide how to finish her letter to Cindy. She dug her nails into her temples and grunted. When all creativity scattered from her inner chaos and the tension to come up with something reached explosive levels, she folded the paper, stuffed it into the notebook, and shoved it under her mattress.
Julia leaned towards forgetting the whole thing. It was a better chance her admission would end in catastrophe and she'd lose her best friend and sister. Worse yet, what would happen if their mother and father found out? The thought had Julia shuddering with her head beneath a pillow.
A trio of knocks at her bedroom door had her slithering out of the sheets and carrying those rattled nerves to answer.
She drew a breath, grabbed the knob, and pulled until a crack appeared between the door and doorframe.
She stuck her face into the opening. Dear old dad brought with him the aroma of barbeque over burning mesquite coals. What hair that remained was silver. Despite the wrinkles tugging at the edges of his eyes and the hole in the middle of his grin, Jon may as well been his daughter's age given his level of energy. His joyous presence soothed Julia without knowing it like he always did and she sought to enjoy the welcome home cookout her dad was preparing.
"Hi, dad! What's up?" Julia said attempting to lift her elation to meet his.
Jon squinted and looked at Julia with a side eye. His age showed in his voice when he spoke. "Are you okay? You've been stuffed in there since you got home last night."
Julia waved off his concern. "Oh, it's nothing! I've just been catching some extra snoozes because of the flight. You know how jetlag is. Hoo!"
Jon glowed in apparent acceptance of her half-truth response. "I know all about it, honey. I guess I've missed you so much that I'm anxious to see your face."
Julia's cheeks ballooned and her heart began to melt. "Aww, thanks, dad." She pecked his cheek and he mimicked the size of her smile. "I'll be out soon. Smells like you've been doing good work on the deck. My mouth is watering."
"You're too sweet. It's all for my girls! Your mother is picking up your sister from the airport as we speak. Soon, we'll all be together!"
Julia's stomach flooded with butterflies and she began pushing on the door. "Okay, thanks dad! I'll be out in a minute!"
His lips moved and something inaudible came out but Julia shut him out.
She fished her notebook from beneath the mattress and sat on the bed with it in her lap to finish the letter. She sealed her eyes to conjure an image of the best case scenario of her and Cindy making sweet love together with them snuggled together in the covers afterwards. Julia sucked in air and penned the last of the note though an overwhelming urge to tear it to pieces started to weigh on her. All it took was for people to find out and she'd become the nasty town weirdo that would have to live the rest of her days in a hole in the ground.
Julia folded the paper and stuffed it under the socks in her drawer. She still wanted Cindy to know in order to alleviate her neurosis but she hoped the right time would naturally show itself.
The rumbling and coughing of her mom's white Camry had Julia rushing to the blinds to catch a peek between them. Her heart leapt into her throat upon spotting the light brown sugar hair of her sister emerge from the passenger's side door. It had been a while since she'd seen her hair curly. When the rest of her appeared, Julia ogled at how well her track and field exploits shaped her body. Cindy's open peach and white plaid button-up shirt flew in the wind revealing a black tank top hiding her oversized breasts. Her cream pants showcased her luscious rounded hips and heart-shaped ass. Julia couldn't help but fill with envy.
Julia giggled, dove into the covers, and feigned sleeping like they often did when they spotted the other coming. They would jump out and try to scare the other out of their shoes.
The front door squeaked open and chatter between Cindy and their parents started. A lot of "I missed you so much, how have you been?" kind of talk. The clamoring moved closer to Julia's room and she tensed while her grin stretched wider. Cindy spent another five minutes conversing before she asked about her sis's whereabouts. Julia couldn't hear the response but knocking on her door followed.
"Hey, sis! I'm here! Are you in there?" Cindy made her way inside without waiting for an answer. It was once her room, too, after all. Julia changed positions and grumbled something. Cindy parked her rolling bag in the corner and crept towards the bed. "Oh, she must be sleeping but why now? It's four in the afternoon! I'm certain she wouldn't be faking. No, she wouldn't do that. I should come back later but I think I'd better be sure she isn't playing a trick on me!"
Julia pressed both hands to her mouth to trap her giggles. She curled into the fetal and squinted while forcing herself to hold still. She withdrew her hands to exaggerate snoring but fought against laughing.
The covers began moving away and Julia gripped them to stop it. Cindy grunted but instead of trying harder, she tickled Julia's sides. Julia arched and laughed beyond her control.
"Stop! Please! Hehe..." Her stomach cramped. "I'm trying to sleep!"
Cindy accelerated her assault. "Liar! I saw you peeking through the blinds!"
"Please...haha...I can't take this anymore!" Tears poured from Julia's eyes as she pushed on Cindy's hands to shove them away.
Cindy tickled Julia a bit more but stopped to pull Julia up. She pecked her forehead and pulled her sister into an embrace. Julia slid her arms around Cindy and sighed into their warm connection. The scent of peaches and cream resonated from her brand of shampoo as it did when they grew up. It was the first time they hugged that Julia noticed her sister's pillows pressing against her smaller ones and shame covered her by how much she enjoyed that.
"I missed you so much!" Cindy spoke into her ear. Julia couldn't wait to hear her joy in seeing her. "How have you been?"
Julia tightened her hold on her sister and breathed a deep one. "I couldn't be better now that you're here."
"Glad to hear that!" Cindy said pulling away but still holding Julia at the waist. "I don't know about you but school's been a madhouse! Between taking six classes, doing track and field, and working. I'm surprised I have to time to breathe!"
"It's been wild for me, too. I have the same amount of classes, I'm an English and Algebra tutor, and I help write the school newsletter every week. I know what you mean about struggling to find time to breathe and throw eating in there, too. Me and ramen noodles have become best friends."
"That's the fun of college life!" Cindy stared at her sister and nervousness pushed a smile to her lips. Was she checking her out? Julia wanted that to be true but it was likely born from her own hidden desire.
"What?" Julia asked.
"Did you fall into the weeds and they stuck to your head?"
Julia scoffed and ruffled her bangs and jet-black locks. "Whatever. I hadn't got that far in my day!"
Julia wanted to leave on her blue university shirt and dull gray sweat shorts but it was probably best to dress for the day or what's left of it.
"It's almost nighttime!" Cindy said. "Ugh...never mind, sis. I'll take care of it like I used to. It was a long trip and I need to pee. After that, I've got you."
Julia snickered. "Yeah, like that's not too much information. Who said I needed to know when you need to pee?"
"I told you anyway so there! Humph!" Cindy walked towards the bathroom. Her ass had a wiggle to it Julia couldn't peel her gaze away from. More shame piled upon the heap that was already present.
A few minutes later, Julia was sitting on a chair near the foot of the bed. Cindy took a handful of her tresses at their ends and brushed their length in slow, repeated strokes. Afterwards, she migrated to the top of her head and the brush sweeps lulled Julia into a tranquil state. She loved her sister taking care of her and she would have stayed there forever if not for the grumbles in her tummy. The last thing she wanted was to ruin the chance to have more moments like these. Her letter would have to find the trash the next opportunity she found.
"Mmm...this feels wonderful..." Julia commented on her trip to the dreamland.
"I remember how much you adored this. I'm glad you didn't attend to your hair today but don't expect this to become a daily thing."
"Yeah, sure, even though you love doing it as much as I do."
"I can't spoil you. You'll be like a cat that keeps coming back for more."
Julia smirked and remained speechless. A minute of silence passed and that failed to escape Cindy's notice.
Cindy maneuvered into Julia's view with hands on hips. "What's going on with you? I know you're quiet but not
this
