A day off! And finally at home, alone. It had been many months. I had slept in quite a while and decided upon a morning swim. I stood before the mirror to brush my hair and slipped from my nightie, enjoying the way I looked. (Yes, I love my body, I know I am blessed.) I changed into my white bikinis and went by the kitchen to grab an apple to eat. As I munched the apple, I made another detour to the linen cupboard to pick up a towel to dry myself with - then wandered out to the swimming pool.
It was a bright and beautiful sunny morning, one to dream of. I was so lucky.
The suction cleaner had finished its work, and I reached down to disconnect it from the filter and pull on the hose to take it from the pool.
There were birds dancing about in the shrubbery opposite, playing their attracting a mate games. So sweet. Distracted by their small sounds, I looked across to see them among the red flowers on the vines creeping along the fence. I watched for a minute and then was aware of other sounds behind me, of someone moving around.
I had thought I was alone.
I panicked, wanted to hide, but had nowhere to go.
I turned to see who it was.
It was Dad. My worst fears arose. Why did he have to be here? I needed time out to think. It had been driving me crazy being under the same roof in the past few days, I was a whirl of confusion.
It was no wonder I had run away from here.
He was light and easy though, not tense; asked how I was and said that he was having a day off from work today, hoping to spend time with me, since we'd not seen each other in so very long. What could I say...?
I was blushing, so embarrassed to be in such a flimsy bikini in front of him. That would not help. He was trying not to stare as he talked to me, but his eyes were roaming my body. When he looked at my face he stared, really stared, lovingly. I realised that I was getting redder in the face and tried to keep calm.
As a distraction, I bundled up the pool suction hose and cleaner and went to put them away.
"Here, let me help," he said and lifted the hose. Our bodies touched and I jumped, startled.
"Hey angel, you okay?" he asked.
"I'm okay with it," I said. "I'll do it. I've missed looking after our pool."
"But hey you are so tense, what's up?"
"I can't talk about it, Dad."
"You are always uneasy around me; I wish you'd tell me what's wrong."
I was glad for the privacy of the pool locker, so I could catch my breath and compose myself; decide what I would do from here. Should I change my mind about the swim and go inside?
As I turned to leave, he was at standing at the door, looking concerned. The tension came back. I felt vulnerable. I had not seen him for months and to be here with him at last was frightening. Yet I had to admit, potentially wonderful if I could just relax. I loved him so much, adored him, like no other man. I was doubly lucky - wonderful day, wonderful man for company.
Relaxing at that thought, my eyes drank in all of him, returning the hungry looks he gave me earlier. I think he was having his turn to be embarrassed then.
He nearly spluttered on the words, "Swimming, Kellie? Can I join you?" Awkward silence.
"Now you are uneasy with me Dad," I said, "Will you talk about it?" Touché, I thought.
I said, "Okay," to his joining me and followed his concerned face as he turned and walked toward the house.
I lay my towel out by the pool and sat upon it, draping my legs over the edge into the water. My tan needed a little work; I was pale from university life. I casually stirred the pool with my lower legs, knowing of a disturbance building within, a storm. The cool water and the smell of the salt was welcoming.
Dad arrived, just as I was readying to lower myself gently into the water. He was magnificent as always - I could tell he'd been working out and getting some sun. For a man of forty-two, he was looking thirty and was strikingly handsome. His swimmers were brief too and my imagination needed no spurring - he was understandably not shy to be parading that way.
I tried not to look, but... Well, I had seen his penis once, briefly, several years before, when I had caught him coming from the shower room and losing his towel on the way to the bedroom. His penis had been semi erect and was scary to me then. As a teenage girl it was the first I had seen and the thought of it stayed with me some days afterward.
"It's so great to see you Kellie, how's University work going?" He asked as he walked to the stairs at the shallow end.
"Terrific, but the hours are long sometimes," I replied quietly, as I slipped into the water. I drifted around toward him as he swam to me.
There was a look in his eyes like he really wanted to tell me something. I had seen that look a lot when we together alone. It always made the air awkward between us. I knew that, perhaps that was how I looked to him, for I really couldn't find words to say what was troubling me so. Today we had both challenged each other to talk. Would we?
We continued general talk, trying to deny the tension that was what we had been about for some time. Years? I was almost twenty so I guess since I was about eighteen.
Now, having been apart for some time had heightened it. I know that being alone with him so close to me in the water was driving me into confusing, dizzying whirls with a rush of words spiralling around in my head that would not escape my lips.
His dark hair was wet now. The water dribbled down across his handsome features. I could only stare as he wiped the water from his eyes. He caught me looking.
"Are you really okay, Kellie?' he asked, showing care and moving in closer. "Talk to me."
I could only nod. My tongue was locked and dry. His hand touched my face gently. I managed a smile for him.
Then, fighting the lump in my throat, I confessed, "No I'm not okay, but you go first."
"I've missed you so very much," he confessed, "I love you love you love you." He began running a hand through my hair.
"I wanted to be here today to spend some time with you before you go away again. I know you can't stay long. It's difficult though some times just to talk - there feels like a distance you are keeping. I kind of retreat too I guess and I really regret that, but...Kellie, you're everything. It was so hard to carry on here once you'd taken up the course at the University. I'm so glad to have you here and feel like I just want to keep you here now, for myself. I know that's selfish and weird, but as long as I can see you sometimes, I..."
I raised a hand toward his mouth, to silence him. He kissed it gently. I took his hand, and pressed it to my lips.
I managed in a tightened whisper only, "I love you so much too, want you so much but can't deal with how uneasy it feels, like how much I love you is wrong."
He looked relieved and said, "Oh, Kellie I love you so much to make me lose sleep when I know we'll be together soon. And to lose sleep thinking of you when you're not here. To be alone like this is a wonderful dream. Crazy if we feel the same. I wonder if I'm some kind of warped father who loves his daughter too much in ways he shouldn't."
A great weight lifted from me. He was feeling the same as I was!
His hand touched my upper arm, reaching toward my shoulder. I drew him to me and we embraced for a long time in silence. The only sound was the gentle movement of our hands and the water lapping around us. I felt his erection growing and he was moving away to hide it.
When we parted, slightly, we held our faces close together, noses touching, and smiled. It was warm, open, honest now. Connection! Love, intense. Why had we left it so long to confess...?
The smile we shared was broken again by our tension, and there were only our eyes, locked. He was trying to turn his head, as if worried that someone perhaps was watching. Our back yard was quite private. I turned him back to look at me and guided him in so gently for a kiss. I knew he would not make the first move; he was far too caring and responsible, always did the right thing.
It was a first kiss of shy lovers, hesitant and searching.
Encouraged and excited at my kiss, he moved in this time and kissed my lips long and slowly, a kiss filled with love, delivered to its mark.
When we parted lips, I whispered clumsily, "Thanks." My face blushed with embarrassment and I tried to turn away, just as he had. This time he took the lead, cradled my head in his hand and steered our lips together once more. And this time, we were more serious, like there was nothing that should make us stop. I know that I didn't want to, whatever else happened. I found more words at last.
"I've dreamed so long of kissing you like that, you know. Guess I left home because I was trying to deny it, to get away from it, but I didn't want to run from you, only from feelings I didn't think I should be having."
"Kellie, if you could only feel what I've done, loving you the way I have and needing to be with you this way. It's something I'm supposed to not feel either. But I do. I do so much."
The tension was gone, the air clear and we kissed and caressed each other like long-time lovers. We talked openly as we embraced, like we had never talked. All the while his penis was pressed hard against me and his hands explored gently my hair, back and legs. I played with his hair and held to his shoulder.
Then the tension crept in again, but this time it was restless tension, needing more. I gave him a cheeky smile and started a slide of his swimmers from his hips.
