The second week of June, in my eighteenth year, found me happily staring out the restaurant's window where my father had taken up work at a resort in one of the northwest states. Outside the window deep, dark blue water of the lake the resort sat on rippled with countless explosions as the sun danced on the waves. Far beyond the opposite shore, the land swept up into endless vistas that were, to me, nothing less than huge mountains. I was here to spend the summer with my father. A whole summer, not just five or six weeks, of campfires, hikes, fishing and any number of fantastic pleasures I had found with him the year before.
My father is an interesting person in many ways. He writes poetry that makes women of all ages moan. He knows a lot about computers and could teach college level history. So, why was he there working for little money? That is simple: For once in his life he was working at something he loved to do. Yet, maybe the neatest thing about him is you tell him about a dream you had and he will tell you exactly what it meant, and that opened many eyes, especially the younger females who were having their "odd" dreams about sex.
Two weeks into my summer I was sitting, looking out the window wanting to jump up and down and scream. On the other side of the room sat my father and this young female intently listening to what her dreams meant. Ordinarily that wouldn't bother me, but this girl had put on one real nice show for him, wiggling her boobs around in front of him and, as she kept dropping things, giving him a nice view down her blouse when she bent forward to pick up whatever she had dropped. What really pissed me off was to know that I was jealous that it was her and not me. Picking up my can of Mellow Yellow, I walked out onto the deck and sat down facing the lake so I wouldn't have to watch this kid openly act like she was trying to seduce my own father. He didn't need her, he only needed me!
"What are you thinking?" the girl's voice interrupted my fantasy about having my fingers wrapped around her neck.
"Nothing," I half-growled, not opening my eyes.
I heard her sit down on the lounge beside me. "You don't like me much, do ya?"
Instantly, I felt guilt surge through my body. I really had no dislike for her, I just wanted my father to be able to be as open with me as he had been with her.
"It's not that," I said softly, feeling the wind tease at my hair. "God, I don't know what it is."
"You don't like me teasing him, do you?" Her voice sound happy.
"Not really. He is so old. Why do you do that?"
"He's a nice guy," she laughed softly. "I think you wish it was you flashing him, don't ya?"
"What? My God, he's my father."
"I use to feel the same way about mine, then something happened that changed it."
"What?"
"I grew up."
"How's that?"
"I seduced him."
"My God! You seduced your own father? How could you have?" I blushed, wondering what she was reading in me.
"Let's take a walk. Okay?"
As we walked along the shoreline, I was unable to say anything. I had felt guilty the once or twice I had thought that my father might be a man, but this girl- her name was Sherry- had stroked my imagination, even if I knew such things were horribly sinful.
"What was it like? I mean, what did it feel like?" I asked, stopping to watch the waves lap against the shore.
"You ever put money in a parking meter?" she asked with a soft laugh.
"Yes."
"Okay, the first few times it felt like trying to put a quarter in the nickel slot. I hurt."
I looked into her eyes. "Why?"
"Because I was a virgin," she laughed back at me, then looked out at the lake.
"No. Why did you do it?"
"Many reasons, really. He was more than a father. He listened to me, he didn't poke fun at me when I started having all those problems young girls seem to have. I think what really interested me he," she turned around to face me as she walked backwards, "like your father, didn't talk down to me. He just loved to sit and talk for hours."
"Must be nice to have had him notice you," I growled.
"And you think your father doesn't notice you? Well, he talks about you more than you know. He talks about how pretty you are and about how much you've grown. Come on, he is looking at you in places you haven't noticed."
"What are you talking about?"
She sat down on a huge rock, jutting out into the water, looked up at me and smiled. "You father likes boobs... Likes 'em a lot. He talks about how you have grown and he looks at you every chance, now, put two-and-two together."
"You mean? No. You really think that?"
"Well, fathers do happen to be men, and men are a like in a lot of ways."
"What happened with you and your father? He die or something?"
"Worse than that," she replied angrily. "He married a bitch and she makes damn sure I am not around. That is why I moved out of state to go to college."
"College? What? You don't look anywhere close to me, and I am eighteen," I replied in astonishment.
"I'll be nineteen in August."
"You really put 'the make' on your father?"
"Yes," she laughed, leaning back and resting on her elbows, "I had wild, passionate sex with my own father."
"Didn't it scare you?"
For a few moments she was deep in thought. "Well, the first few times I thought lightning would come crashing through the ceiling and kill both of us, but it didn't."
"How did you do it, I mean, seduce him?"
"Why?" She giggled over at me as my face blushed.
"Just wondering, is all."
"Well, Hon, I am going to tell you something. You can ignore your feelings until he finds a bitch like mine did, and then it is gone, or you can do what you have been thinking about doing."
"I don't know what I am thinking any more. I don't know, I just feel like there should be a lot more between us."
"Well, you'd better know because, when you open your eyes and it is your father inside you, it is not a good time to find out it's not what you really wanted."
I looked out at the waves. I knew what I had been thinking since the last summer. Never before had I dared say or even hint my feelings, and now Sherry seemed to be reading my mind.
"I want him," I whispered more to the lake than her.
"You willing to share him?"
"Why would I do that?"
"I'll give you one reason, and it is a damn good fucking reason. You go through with this and you'll find that there is no one you can tell. You will feel like you're on top of the world, and there is no one you can talk to about it. It is no fun to be so damn happy, and unable to tell anyone about it."
"Yeah, I can see that."
"Share him with someone and you do have an outlet."
"And you are that 'someone'?"
"Well, I have been there; I think I know how it can go wrong."
"Can I trust you?"
"I don't know. Can I trust you?"
We smiled at each other. I didn't like the idea of her being with him, but the idea of someone taking him and pushing me out was not a good one.
"Okay. How do I get him to notice me?"
"Like I said, he already does. What you have to do is get him to separate the man from the father and be able to relate to both. You ain't going to seduce him by calling him 'daddy'. So forget all the stories and bullshit. Daddies are not men, they are fathers."
"What should I do, rip my clothes off and jump in bed with him?" I laughed.
"No, he might have a heart attack if you did that. Take time and just talk to him as a person. Get to know that person and build on that."