Some people believe that you can never get away from your past. Five years ago I found that to be true and the knowledge still haunts me.
At that time I was on top of the world. I was thirty-five, and the new General Manager of a major retail store in the city. I had worked hard and had succeeded without having to sell my body to the office power brokers. I was attractive, smart and I was tough.
Then I saw Steven.
GM's don't pay attention to twenty year old student interns, working a nothing job to pick up a few bucks and some merchandizing savvy. They're invisible. But not Steven. You couldn't help but notice him.
Steven was tall; had dark hair and eyes that always seem to be smiling. He was well built, but lithe rather than muscular. He moved with ease and grace. That's what caught my eye. He moved like a young Cary Grant; easy and self-assured. And he was always smiling.
I knew I was acting foolish, but I found myself looking for him when I was on the floor of the store; and when I would see him talking to one of the young sales girls, smiling that smile of his, I actually felt a stab of hot jealousy. I could have cheerfully strangled each and every one of the little bitches.
I began to have erotic dreams about him; dreams that were almost pornographic, and so real that I'd wake up to a shattering orgasm, embarrassed to realize that I had been playing with myself. The feeling of disappointment was even stronger than the embarrassment of masturbation.
Steven began to fill my thoughts both day and night. I felt like an old lecher robbing the cradle. What was it about this young man that stimulated me so? That caused these strange feelings to surge through my body? Could I actually be in love with him? Or was I just a horny old maid lusting after a set of tight, young buns?
I finally said, to hell with it! I was a wreck and I hadn't even spoken a word to him! I resolved to get him out of my mind. When I was a young girl, I had had one very bad experience with an older guy. I wasn't about to repeat that mistake with a younger one. So I threw myself back into my work. As far as I was concerned, Steven was history!
One evening, after the end of store hours, I was working on the Fall projections when I felt a presence in front of my desk. Startled, I looked up and there he was, holding a large computer printout. The color rose to cheeks and I stammered like a schoolgirl. I quickly stood up, took off my glasses and automatically straightened my hair.
"I'm sorry if I startled you," he said, "Mr. Deal said you needed this right away."
My mouth was open and I stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't believe my ears. His voice sounded exactly as it had in my dreams! I knew I had never heard him speak; how did I know what his voice was like?
"Are you alright?" he asked shyly.
"Er, yes," I said hastily, suddenly coming back to reality. "I'm sorry ... I must have day dreaming. Th ... thank you for bringing this to me.
He smiled that smile, nodded and started to turn away. I searched for something to say - anything to make him stay, but I couldn't. My mind was blank.
Steven hesitated at the door. He turned and looked at me. I had this overpowering desire to leap across the desk, drag him to the floor and rape him. My legs were actually trembling.
"I hope you won't take this wrong, but I ... I think you should think about contacts. You're really beautiful without glasses ... I mean ..." He was blushing. My heart flip-flopped. "I'm not being rude," he said hastily, "I just wanted you to know that." He turned to leave.
"Steven?" I called. He stopped and turned, resigned to the rebuke he thought was coming.
I walked up to him, reached behind and pushed the door closed. My arms continued around him. I pulled him close, reveling in the touch of his hard body; my lips sought his. They were soft, then hard, then demanding.
The dam broke!
I was on him like a feline predator, tearing at his clothes, hungry for his body, all sense of caution, of reality, gone. The only thing that mattered was my desire for this beautiful young man who tormented me so.
His voice was far away and my befuddled mind caught only parts of what he was saying.
"... want you ... dreaming about you ... can't think ... only you ..."
He wanted me! I was in Heaven!
 
                             
                         
                         
                         
                         
                         
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                