The Incast

"Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Incast, your guide to the world of incest! I'm Sebastian, your host, and we have quite a show lined up for you today--George and Sandra will be dropping by later with some advice on how to deal with nosy neighbors; Carlos has a report on the rise of incest cults, what to look out for and how to know you're in one; and Geneticist Gina will be here once again to answer all your questions. But first--and I know there's quite a bit of excitement about these two--you've seen the teasers, now it's time to really get to know them--it's the debut of the newest members of our community--it's Jill and Scott!"

"Hi!" Jill said, beaming, radiant in a floral dress, golden hair spilling onto bare shoulders. "It's so great to be here, I'm such a big fan."

"Um, hello," Scott said from the opposite side of the table.

Sebastian, a tweedy man with a salt and pepper beard, said, "If you could just get a little closer to the microphone..."

"Oh, sorry." Scott leaned forward. "Hello. Wait, did you say you're a big fan?" he said to Jill.

"Yes, I've been listening to this podcast for quite a while now," Jill said. "It's amazing. Haven't you listened to it?"

"I didn't even know it existed until a couple days ago," Scott said.

"Sure, but since then?" Jill said. "You haven't listened to any episodes? You haven't done any preparation?"

"Preparation?"

Jill let out an exasperated breath, then looked guiltily at Sebastian. "Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," Sebastian said, chuckling. "Sibling bickering is some of our highest rated content. Welcome, both of you."

"Thank you, Sebastian," Jill said. "I just don't want to give the wrong impression, we normally get along great."

Scott said, "Yes, normally."

"Well, let's talk about the tension in the room then," Sebastian said. "You two seem to be off to a rocky start."

"Yes," Scott said.

"No," Jill said simultaneously. "I mean, all right, yes, I thought this would go smoother. But it's okay. It's fine. We're both here, right? I was just hoping for a little more communication recently. He hasn't been returning my calls."

"I've been super busy," Scott said.

"And he's been ignoring my texts."

"Super, super busy," Scott said. "Look, do you really want to talk about communication? Because you dropped all this incest stuff on me out of nowhere, and you couldn't even tell me yourself, you had your agent do it."

Jill said, "If I had talked to you about it, you would have freaked out even more! Anyway, I was just following the guidelines of the Incest Initiative."

"What's the Incest Initiative?" Scott said.

"What we're doing!" Jill said. "What you signed up to take part in. Didn't you read the literature they gave you?"

"Um..."

"Oh my god..."

Sebastian said, "The Incest Initiative is a project that helps facilitate incestuous relationships."

"Okay, I should have guessed that," Scott said. "And who came up with this project?"

"Scientists," Sebastian said.

"Incest scientists?"

"Experts in incestology, yes," Sebastian said. "Working for the Incest Institute. In association with the Incest Broadcast Corporation and regulated by the Federal Bureau of Incestuous Affairs, of course."

"Of course," Scott said, rubbing his temples. "And why are they doing this?"

Jill said, "To help people."

"But why would they help people commit incest?" Scott said.

"Are you kidding?" Jill said. "Do you realize how hard it is to get some incest going? I never would have gotten this far without a ton of help."

"No, that's not what I meant..." Scott said, closing his eyes wearily. "I'm getting that feeling again like I'm losing my mind."

"That's perfectly normal," Sebastian said. "You're new to this scene and it's a lot to take in. But I think you're handling it very well."

"I am?"

"I've seen worse," Sebastian said. "Both of you are navigating a very delicate part of your journey and I think you're doing great. Let's see what chat has to say." He pulled up his laptop.

"Chat?" Scott said. "I thought we were recording a podcast."

"We're live-streaming too," Sebastian said, gesturing at the cameras positioned around the studio.

"Oh shit," Scott said, shrinking in his chair.

Jill smiled and waved at her camera.

Sebastian said, "Jill, you seem to have quite a few fans already."

"Thanks, guys!" Jill said, forming a heart with her hands.

"A lot of support here..." Sebastian said, scrolling. "Although some of our viewers are saying you need to be a little more patient with your brother."

"I know," Jill said. "I'm trying. I know it will take time. But I just want to get through his thick skull and open his eyes."

Sebastian said, "Scott?"

"Huh?"

"Let's see what they're saying about you." Sebastian scrolled some more. Scrolled, scrolled...

"Uh oh," Scott muttered.

"No, it's good," Sebastian said quickly. "You can definitely say these are generally positive comments. Um... lucky. That's what they're saying. Lucky... lucky... 'Does he not understand how lucky he is?'" Sebastian looked up. "Do you, Scott?"

"Uhhh..."

"Or do you feel..."

"...like this is going to be kind of a disaster?" Scott said.

Jill frowned.

Sebastian said, "Yet you agreed to help your sister in this venture as an incest influencer, while also exploring the possibilities of this new aspect of your relationship, correct?"

"Yes, that's what I agreed to do."

"Why?" Sebastian asked.

"Well..." Scott said. "This was a tentative, short-term agreement."

"Okay," Sebastian said.

"I can't keep avoiding her forever."

"Damn straight," Jill said.

"I should at least listen to what she has to say," Scott said.

"Thank you so much," Jill said sarcastically.

"And I guess I'm curious..."

Jill's eyebrows shot up.

"...about where she got this crazy idea in the first place."

"Oh, I can tell you that," Jill said. "It was at Mom's wedding last year."

"What?" Scott said. "But you were so busy, I barely saw you."

"I saw you."

"We didn't even really hang out."

"I'll tell you what happened," Jill said. "It was late in the reception, and I was with my friends and some cousins, and we were discussing who the hottest guy there was, and your name came up, and I was like, I could see why they'd say that. You know, objectively. Everyone wanted to hook up with somebody that night, and I was considering my options, which did not include you--but then I suddenly thought, why? Out of all the people there I could sleep with, why were you off-limits? It was such a strange idea. I felt... oh, I don't want to bore the listeners with the same old story we've all heard. 'Oh no, it feels so wrong, but also so right!' Blah blah. But yeah, that's when I first got the idea. I was even thinking of talking to you about it that night."

Scott said, "What, were you going to sneak into my room?"

"Maybe," Jill said. "If I hadn't drank too much and fallen asleep. But yeah, maybe."

"That would have been upsetting for my girlfriend at the time," Scott said.

"She could have watched, that would've been hot," Jill said. "Whatever happened with Lindsey?"

"Eh," Scott said sadly.

"She was never really your type," Jill said.

"I guess not."

"She didn't share a deep and powerful emotional bond with you," Jill said, eyes gleaming.

"Oh boy," Scott mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, that was the beginning," Jill said. "I kicked the idea around for a while, never knowing how serious I should take it, but I couldn't really let it go. One day I somehow stumbled onto this podcast, which led me to the Incest Initiative, and I decided to take a chance, got signed with the Incest Talent Agency, and here we are!"

Sebastian said, "Jill, how long would you say it took you to completely overcome any misgivings you had about incest?"

"I'm not sure," Jill said. "Months, I suppose. And okay, I get what you're saying, he's going to need a lot of time before he accepts the idea."

"If I accept the idea," Scott said.

Sebastian said, "A lot of work will have to be done before you two successfully achieve incest."

"If we successfully... wait, work?"

"There are various exercises you can do together as a couple to enhance communication and trust," Sebastian said.

"Incest counseling, great," Scott muttered. "Do I have to?"

"You could at least try," Jill said. "It's part of the deal."

Scott said, "Yeah, but what if we just kept things the way they are now for a while? All awkward and complicated and miserable?"

Sebastian said, "You're afraid of change."

Scott sighed. "Everything was fine before," he said.

"Every relationship always changes, whether you want it to or not," Sebastian said. "Your relationship with your sister has already changed and will continue to change. This fluidity of connectedness is only natural, flowing over time through our emotional lives, and if you can harness that, and direct it toward the unexpected, you can find something extraordinary."

"Huh?"

Jill said, "I told you this was an amazing podcast."

"Let's try one of these exercises now," Sebastian said. "Why don't you two hold hands."

Jill stretched her arm across the table, her palm up. Scott hesitated.

"Oh, come on," Jill said. "We've held hands before."

"Have we?"

"Maybe, I don't know," Jill said. "But how bad can it be?"

Scott shrugged and covered her hand with his.

Jill whispered, "Oh my god, this is so hot."

"Scott, tell us what you're feeling," Sebastian said.

Scott closed his eyes and breathed. "She's wiggling her finger."

"Sorry," Jill said.

"Concentrate, both of you," Sebastian said. "Focus on the warmth of your hands. You are connected. You always have been. That connection has always been emotional, now it is physical. A new connection with the same energy. An energy that is familiar, comforting, strong. An energy that can transform and grow. Can you feel that?"

Scott's eyes opened and locked with Jill's. They remained staring at each other for a few seconds until he blinked and pulled back his hand.

"Aha!" Jill said. "You felt something!"

"Clamminess," Scott said.

"No, I saw it!" Jill said. "You have feelings for me. Incestuous feelings! Yes, I win!"

Sebastian said, "Jill, you really shouldn't..."

"I know, I'm only teasing," Jill said. "But that was a real breakthrough, wasn't it?"

"I'd say so," Sebastian said. "How are you feeling, Scott?"

"I'm fine."

"Did you want to discuss what just happened?" Sebastian said.

"No, that's okay."

Jill said, "He's reexamining his love for me. I can tell."

Sebastian said, "There may be a long period of adjustment for both of you as you explore the physical side of..."

"Do you want to do it tonight?" Jill asked Scott.

"What?!"

"Hold hands again, I mean," Jill said. "I can come over, I'll bring dinner, and we can hold hands. Or something."

"Um, tonight's not really good for me."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Umm..." Wavering, wincing, Scott finally said, "Maybe Friday?"

"Sorry, I have a date Friday," Jill said. "Just kidding. Friday it is. And of course we'll be streaming it live, so be sure to follow!" She grinned at the camera.

Scott facepalmed.

Sebastian said, "Well, I'm sure a lot of us will be tuning in. Do you have any other appearances we should be looking out for?"

"Oh, right," Jill said, getting out her phone. "I was going to talk to Scott about this, I haven't booked anything but we've already had a few offers to appear on a some ICN shows."

"ICN?" Scott asked.

"The Incest Central Network," Jill said. "Would you like to go on the cooking show Family Recipe?"

"I'm not much of a cook."

"Yeah, me neither," Jill said. "How about a talk show? Ada's Late Night? Off Hours in the Attic?"

"Oof," Scott said. "I don't know if I'm up for that yet."

"Yeah, okay," Jill said. "No rush. They're open offers." She sat back, looking dejected.

"Well, I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of you two in the future," Sebastian said. "Thank you for joining us here today. Next up..."

"Can I say something?" Scott said.

"Of course."

Scott let out a long resigned breath. "Jill is awesome," he said.

"Huh?" Jill said, a look of wonder on her face.

"I've always felt lucky to have her as my sister," Scott said. "And we actually do get along great. But..."

"Yes?" Jill said.

"I don't know what to do," Scott said despondently. "My brain is stopping short at... whatever's going to happen next."

Jill said, "Look, I'll admit it, it's kind of scary."

"No kidding."

"But I think something great can come out of this," Jill said. "I think you have to trust me. And trust the process. It'll be okay. We'll figure it out."

"I hope so."

"I see a bright future for you two," Sebastian said. "Thanks for being on the show. After the break, George and Sandra tell us what to do about those pesky neighbors! We'll be right back."