The Greatest Gift

"I know the situation isn't ideal, Mom, but it is what it is and I can't keep putting my life on hold waiting for the perfect guy to come along when it might not happen," Terri said. She held a coffee cup in both hands, but the dark brown liquid inside had gone cold. She just held onto the smooth ceramic because it was something solid.

"You're only thirty-four, dear. Don't you think you're being a little overdramatic? You have plenty of time to meet the right guy and settle down and start a family. Why, most women your age are waiting later and later to start families."

Terri hated it when her mother talked to her like she was still just sixteen and hadn't thought things through. Sitting in the kitchen of the house where she grew up didn't help as her parents hadn't changed a thing in twenty-five years. She could see herself sitting there, way back when, in her school uniform as her mother tried to explain the birds and bees to her. It didn't matter that Terri had lost her virginity the year before when she was fifteen to a boy up the street, she still turned glowing red when her mother pushed a condom to her across the kitchen table. Her mother always thought of herself as a "cool mom" and tried to act like she was just one of the girls when Terri's friends were around.

If that wasn't embarrassing enough, it was even worse when her brother's friends were around. Terri's mom was only in her late thirties when they were teens and still quite attractive. The word didn't exist back then, but Mrs. D'Agostino was definitely what the kids now called a "MILF". On a few occasions Terri overheard the lurid comments of her brother's friends talking about what they'd like to do to the older woman. The fact that in looks she was just a younger version of her mother made Terri wonder what they said about her when she wasn't around. It made her feel sexy to think they might want her too. A few years later she found out that at least one of those guys, Big Mike, had those thoughts about her. Sometimes she still thought back fondly on that night in the back of the old Buick. What Big Mike lacked in technique he more than made up for in enthusiasm.

"Mom, those women are still trying to launch their careers or waiting for Mr. Perfect. My career is where I want it and I know Mr. Perfect is not going to come along."

"What about that guy you went out with a few months ago? Doug?"

"He was fine. We just weren't compatible."

"It wasn't right in the bedroom?" she asked, lowering her voice and leaning across the table.

"Mom!"

"It's okay dear, we can talk about these things. I'm not as innocent as you probably think."

"Mother!"

"Terri, don't be such a prude. Was Doug too quick on the trigger? You know, if you work with a man you can solve a lot of the problems in the bedroom. Your stepfather and I ..."

"Mom! Stop! We are not talking about this!"

"Okay, okay. I just want you to know that if you're having a problem that I am here for you."

"Can we just stick to the topic then, please? I am ready to be a mother and I am tired of waiting."

"Okay, I understand that, but it doesn't change the fact that you are missing an essential part of the equation. Are you thinking in vitro fertilization then? Are you going to visit a sperm bank?"

"I guess I would have to, but in vitro is so expensive and my health insurance doesn't cover it. I don't have enough equity to take a loan against the townhouse. I don't know where I could find the money. If I ask a guy I know, I could save some money I think, but I don't know if I would have enough if it didn't work on the first try."

"Finding a guy willing to say yes to that might be difficult. Have you thought about asking your brother?"

"Mom!"

Her mother laughed. "Not to be a donor, but maybe to help with money. Teddy and I would help if we could, you know that, but since I haven't been working lately things have been tight."

Terri laughed herself. How could she think, even for a second, that her mother would be suggesting she ask her brother for his sperm? Somehow the image of her brother jerking off into a cup popped into her mind and she shook her head to clear it. "I wouldn't want to ask Pete for that. And I know you and Pop would help if you could." Terri's stepfather had been in her life since she was just six-years-old and had been more of a father to her than her biological one, whom she rarely saw. He'd been her "Pop" almost as long as she could remember.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet. It's a shame I can't go out there and just find a good guy to have a kid with. You found a great guy, one who didn't mind marrying a woman with two small kids. I'm not even looking for that, just a good guy who'd be willing to give me a baby. Where can I find a guy like Pop?"

"He's one in a million, that's for sure. And I know he'd do anything for you. Don't worry, dear, we'll think of something," her mother said.

A week later, Terri's mom called and asked to meet her for lunch. Terri was close with her parents, but she rarely saw her mother in the middle of the day and was concerned that something was wrong. When she finally sat down with her mother she was sure that the woman had lost her mind.

Mother and daughter were sitting across from each other on the outdoor patio of a café, each eating a salad and enjoying the warm day. When her mother started with inane small talk, Terri knew she was talking around something, but she also knew her mother well enough that she had to give her time to get around to what she really wanted to talk about.

"I've been thinking about your problem and after going over everything you said I believe I have an answer. If you're interested I think I have a way for you to get your baby."

"Okay, I'm all ears. What have you come up with?"

"I was thinking your stepfather could help you out."

"I couldn't ask you for money, Mom. I know how tight things are."

"That's not really what I meant, dear. I'm thinking he could provide some 'raw materiel'."

"Oh."

Terri didn't know what to say. She was sure her mother's offer came from a giving place, but Terri couldn't help but think having her stepfather provide the sperm for her to make a baby was weird. She'd always thought it a little odd when someone's mother would carry a baby for them. Finding a great guy like her Pop would be a blessing, but actually having a baby with him might be too weird. What would they tell people? Would they be getting calls from Jerry Springer? It would be best to put her mother off with logic.

"I really appreciate the offer, but that doesn't solve the problem of how to pay for in vitro. It could be thousands, tens of thousands of dollars, and I just don't have it."

"I understand that and there is more to my idea, so just hear me out, okay? I wasn't just thinking that your stepfather could donate his, uh, materiel, to a cup. I thought he could provide it the old fashioned way."

"What are you saying, Mom?" Terri asked with a wrinkled brow. The idea was just so out there that she couldn't process it.

"Don't freak out, Terri. I'm suggesting that Teddy give you a baby the old fashioned way."

"You want me and Pop to ... Mom!"

"Theresa, lower your voice!" she scolded.

"Don't you yell at me! You can't be serious! You can't really be saying you want me and Pop," Terri said, and then lowered her voice, "to have sex. What is wrong with you?"

"I'm not saying I want you to have sex. I just think it's the best solution to your problem. Teddy loves and you I know you love him and shouldn't your baby be born out of love? Is there any other man out there you can trust more?"

"That's not the point! It's Pop, he's like a father to me."

"But he's not your father so it's not wrong like that. I know it's an out there idea and you're going to have to think on it. Please just don't dismiss it out of hand."

"How do you expect me to even consider something like this? How can you? Did you even ask him about this? Oh God, what did he say? He doesn't think it's my idea, does he?" Terri stammered.

"No, I didn't mention it to him yet. I thought I should at least talk to you first. Breathe honey."

Terri did feel light headed and drank down half her iced tea, wishing it was of the Long Island variety. It was like she'd just stepped into the Twilight Zone. She couldn't believe what her mother was suggesting. Did she really want Terri to go to bed with her stepfather? How could she think Terri would do something like that? What made her think he would do something like that? Paranoid, Terri wondered if Pop had ever said anything. She couldn't imagine it. Pop would never cheat on her mother, especially not with her daughter!

"Why do you think he would even do it? Pop would never sleep with another woman," Terri said. Were they really having this conversation?

"We were married in the seventies, dear. Your stepfather and I have had some adventures."

"Ewww, Mom! I don't need to hear about your swinging days with Pop. Just because you might have been all crazy back in the day it doesn't mean that Pop wants to sleep with your daughter. Why would you even want him to?"

"You don't have to make it sound so sordid. It's not like that. I love and trust you both. It's not like I'm worried Teddy's going to run off with you like Woody Allen. This would be a pure act of love. You would be giving each other something beautiful. Try and look at it that way."

"What would I be giving Pop?"

"The act of making love."

"Ewww ..."

"Don't be so squeamish. Your stepfather is an attractive man and he's a fabulous lover."

"That's more than enough information. It's not about that, Mom. It's just so unnatural."

"I think it's perfectly natural, given what you want and the position you're in."

"You've got a screw loose."

"Promise me you'll think about it, Theresa. I mean it. Promise me, or I won't drop it and if you think you're squirming now, I'm telling you, I'm just getting warmed up."

"Okay, okay! I promise I'll think about it, but I'm sure I'll just keep thinking you're crazy. I have never heard such a crazy idea."

Terri only told her mother that to placate her. She had no intention of even considering sleeping with her stepfather. The very idea gave her chills and put her off for days. She did everything she could not to think about anything at all remotely sexual. Throwing herself into her work, she tried avoiding any thoughts of even having a baby, but that all changed when one her of oldest friends, who'd been married the summer before, called and said she was pregnant. Terri did everything she good to sound enthusiastic as she congratulated her friend, but inside her her heart was breaking. She was one of the last of her circle of friends to be childless.

Unable to deny herself any longer she spent days scouring the internet trying to find some way she could finance having a child on her own, but the options were not great. Selling her eggs seemed counterproductive. She briefly considered selling herself, knowing a high end call girl could make serious money. She knew she wasn't a supermodel, but Terri knew she was pretty. She thought she could earn a pretty penny, but it wasn't any more than a passing thought. With no other options, she was forced to rethink her mother's suggestion.

Terri sat alone in her apartment and was through half a bottle of wine before she could seriously think about it. Could she really do it? She supposed she could, really all she had to do was lie back and think of England, as they used to say. Luckily, the woman did not have to be engaged. But could her Pop do it? Could he get it up for her? She wanted to think no, but then a man was a man. If they were alone in a dark room, naked in bed and he was touching her he probably would. He could always fantasize about something else. If he did have trouble, there was always the little blue pill. By the time she reached the bottom of the wine bottle Terri decided that not only could she do it, but that she should. Conceiving a child in love was a beautiful thing. Love is love, she thought, and there is no stronger love than that between a child and a parent. And luckily, genetically, Pop was not really her father.

She picked up the phone a dozen times before she finally dialed her mother and even then she could barely get the words out. Her mother stayed silent and for a fearful moment she was afraid she'd failed some kind of test. The scant seconds seemed like hours as silence hung on the phone line.

"I have to say that I'm shocked after our last conversation," her mother replied.

"Oh, God. You've changed your mind."

"No, dear, it's not that, calm down. I'm just happy that you want to accept the offer. You have to be flexible in life."

Terri thought this went beyond flexible. This would bend anyone until they snapped.

"Teddy and I have always been concerned that you're too uptight. I think this will be a great experience for you."

While not quite hippies, her parents had always been pretty free. Terri knew they smoked pot when she was a teen, which was one of the reasons she wasn't exactly shocked when her mother mentioned they'd done some swinging, but Terri did not think it made her uptight that she couldn't just say yes to sleeping with her stepfather. Did he just say yes in a second? She didn't really want to know.

"Did you say anything to Pop?"

"Actually, I did. I had faith you would come around and I wanted to give him time to think about it in case you did change your mind."

"What did he say?"

"He wants to talk to you first, but he's open to the idea. He loves you and he wants to help you."

Terri was starting to think her parents were seriously warped. She could see where it had to be done, but how could they be so cool about it? "I think it's good that we talk about it. Is Pop around?"

"Why don't you come around for dinner?"

"I would rather just talk to Pop now." Terri didn't think she could do this face to face.

"Hold on, I'll get him."

"Hey, kiddo. How are you doing?" Pop asked when he came on the time. His voice was deep and gruff. It had always represented strength to her.

"I'm good." She was suddenly shy.

"Are you really okay with this? I thought it was pretty out there when your Mom brought it up, but if it's the only way to do this I'm willing to help. I know it's strange honey, but just keep your mind on the goal. I promise everything will be okay."

"I want to do it. Do you really want to? I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"I want to help you and that's all there is to it. I think you'll make a great mother and I can't wait to dote on my grandchild."

Except, she thought, my child will be your son or daughter.

They talked for a few minutes more and then her mother came back on the phone. She offered to take care of all the arrangements, which Terri was more than happy to agree to. It would be so much easier if she could just show up and do the deed. She wanted it done sooner than later too, before she lost her nerve. Her mother told Terri to figure out when she would be ovulating and then get back to her.

The rendezvous was set up for a weekend. Terri naïvely asked her mother why they were to take a weekend away and she gently pointed out that Terri and her stepfather should have sex as much as they could during that period to maximize the chance she would get pregnant. She knew her mother was right, but it gave her pause to think this wasn't going to be a one-time thing. A friend of her parents had a timeshare in the mountains and agreed to lend it to them for a weekend.

"Make sure you pack some sexy outfits, dear."

"Mom!"

"All I'm saying this that there's no reason you two shouldn't enjoy this. And besides, it might help Teddy."

Terri was thinking they would be in a pitch black room and she hoped he could be quick, but she agreed to her mother's request. When she packed for the weekend she actually let herself have some fun with it, pulling things out of her closet she hadn't worn in quite some time. As she readied herself for the weekend she pretended she was preparing for a secret encounter with a special lover, which was really the truth.

Pop picked her up after work on Friday and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. Terri was rigid as she returned his embrace. He carried her luggage to the car and Terri mostly kept her own counsel on the couple hour ride to the condo. The timeshare was located in a resort with a golf course, indoor and outdoor pools, a nice restaurant and hiking trails. It was a beautiful resort and she wished she was more relaxed. It was good to be far enough away that no one would recognize them and Terri as amused by the looks they drew as they walked through the lobby. People were looking at her Pop like he was a dirty old man. The looks only continued when they went down to dinner.

They both changed before going down to dinner, taking turns in the bathroom, which was off the bathroom. Pop looked handsome in a chambray shirt with a jacket over it and jeans. He wasn't an unattractive man, Terri knew. She just never thought of him that way. He wasn't tall, just about average height, and his brown hair was thinning now, but he'd kept himself in decent shape and exuded a confident masculinity. Any woman would be happy to be on his arm. Terri wanted to look good for him, but didn't want to go over the top. It was so surreal picking an outfit her stepfather would find sexy. She settled on a short black skirt, a dark blue wrap blouse and heels, which almost boosted her to Pop's height. She wore her wavy auburn hair down and while she rarely wore make-up, she put on some blush and lip gloss.

Pop seemed to enjoy the looks they were drawing as they were shown to their table. His arm was around her like they were on a date and he kissed her after holding out her chair. Even their waiter raised his eyebrows when Pop reached across the table and took her hand, noting that he wore a wedding ring and she did not. Great, Terri thought. They must all think I'm the little bit on the side.

"This is a great ego boost for me," he said, as if reading her mind. "It's fun to be the middle aged guy with the hot young girl on his arm."

"Pop," she replied, blushing. "People think I'm your mistress."

"Good, let 'em think it. Let's have fun with it. Come on, don't look like you're on your way to the electric chair."

Terri forced a smile as Pop ordered a bottle of wine. They had each had surf and turf after he insisted that this weekend was a celebration and they should spare no expense in making it memorable. Terri, however, had been hoping she would be able to forget it once it passed. She did loosen up as he made sure her wineglass was never empty for long and she really was having a good time when they shared a molten chocolate dessert. Pop spoon fed her and she playfully licked the messy chocolate from the corner of her mouth. After dinner they left the restaurant hand in hand.

Back in the room Pop slipped off his jacket and put on some music while Terri went to the bathroom to freshen up. Her stomach flip flopped as she checked herself in the mirror. God, she hadn't even been this nervous when she lost her virginity. Of course, that had just sort of happened. It wasn't all planned out like this. Relax, she told herself. You can do this. Just go with the experience. It'll be good. As she regarded herself in the mirror it occurred to her that she wanted Pop to enjoy this. She could just lay back and let it happen, but it shouldn't go that way. Pop was doing this for her and she owed him a good time. She pulled her blouse open a little further, to show off a touch of cleavage, and left the bathroom, determined to be a good lover.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Pop asked when she came into the small living room swaying her hips.