Loretta smiled as she looked out the kitchen window. From where she stood at the counter she could see Sam and Rosie splashing and play-fighting in the pool in the back yard. Soon after they had bought the house, when the children were still young, she and David had properly fenced their property and planted intensively. Now, many of the trees were maturing well and the yard was private, with a comfortable feeling of seclusion. None of their neighbours' houses were visible and they all liked the feeling of being able to relax without fear of intrusion.
She was so glad school was finished for the summer. Her two children had taken their exams seriously and had studied hard. Now, they were enjoying some well-earned relaxation time and she loved having them around the house. She worked part-time, but Loretta was determined to make the most of them while she had the chance. She felt that Rosie had become almost distant and she hoped that they would get to spend some time together, maybe re-establishing the bond she had always felt with her only daughter.
Sam was still her lovely boy, caring and loving; so caring and loving that she and David still had the supreme pleasure of him being part of their love-making. Their threesomes together and the private times she had with Sam were something they all viewed with a mix of awe and delight in the fact that the simple act of physical pleasure could unite them in a feeling of such contentment and joy with each other. Loretta wondered if part of Rosie's detachment was from detecting something she wasn't a part of. She had thought about her daughter often, wondering about the possibility of initiating her with Sam or David.
In the delirious aftermath of deflowering Sam, she felt sure it could be just as enjoyable but she also knew it could be disastrous if handled the wrong way and she was scared of making the wrong approach. She shook her head, scattering the thoughts; now was a time for enjoying her children. She arranged the drinks and nibbles on a tray, carried them out onto the deck and made her way, barefoot in her swimsuit, down the steps and across the grass to the loungers, sun umbrella and small pool-side table.
"Drinks kids," she called. Sam gave his sister one last dunking and splashed over to the steps and climbed, dripping, from the cool water. It was a cloudless day and the sun felt good on his bare skin. Rosie surfaced, blowing and splashing, and swam to the edge of the pool, not bothering with the steps. She placed her hands on the tiled pool edge and hauled herself out, dripping as well. Loretta sat back on one of the chairs and watched her two beautiful children happily.
"My two most favourite people," she said "after you father, of course." She smiled again and Sam grinned at her as he collapsed onto a lounger beside her. He took the glass she offered him and had a long drink of cold juice.
"I feel as if I've hardly seen either of you for months," she complained.
"Humph," snorted Rosie, taking another lounger closer to the pool. "You always seem to be able to make time for one of us." Her voice was slightly bitter, almost stung.
"Rosie dear, what on earth do you mean by that?" Loretta straightened up in her chair and looked at her daughter. Rosie turned away and stared out over the pool at its still-undulating surface. Sam went still.
"Nothing" The reply was short, bitten off. The silence lengthened and became uncomfortable. Loretta cleared her throat.
"Rosie," she felt unsure, hesitant. "Is something wrong? Have I upset you?" She began to fear that this was what it was, something she'd done inadvertently.
"You haven't upset her mom," said Sam quietly. Loretta turned to him and saw he was watching his sister closely. Her mind began working, turning over possibilities. Rosie was silent, sullen, a marked change from the mood she had been in a moment ago, laughing and giggling with Sam in the pool.
"It's nothing you've done mom." Sam looked at his sister and Rosie blinked, rubbing her eyes as if wiping away drops of water from the pool. As Loretta watched, Rosie's bottom lip trembled faintly.
"Rosie, what's wrong darling? Please, I want to help."
Her daughter laughed, a hard, gulping sound and her shoulders shook.
"There's nothing you can do. You've already done it...got what you wanted." It was almost an accusation.
"Got what I wanted...? Rosie...what are you talking about?" Something began to gel in Loretta's mind.
"Rosie," said Sam in a warning tone "we talked about this. I told you, it isn't safe."
He was taking a risk now but he needed to head this off before it got out of hand. The discussion with her earlier in the week while they had been home alone, ostensibly studying while David and Loretta were at work, had been loud with uncontrolled bursts of crying. Loretta watched her daughter closely, suddenly seeing how upset she was; the trembling lip, her hands squeezed into her lap, the knuckles white they were so tightly entwined. Rosie squeezed her eyes shut and tears, not water from the pool, began to run down her cheeks.
"Oh baby, what's wrong?" Real concern filled Loretta's voice.
"It's not fair." Rosie's voice cracked and she began to cry for real, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed on the chair. Loretta moved swiftly, up from her chair and across to her daughter. She sat down on the lounger as Rosie pulled her legs up and slipped an arm around her, trying to give her a hug but Rosie pushed her away.
"It's not fair."
Sam knelt on the grass before them both, placing his hands on Rosie's knees.
"Rosie, don't do this," he implored. "It's just going to make things worse."
"How? How can they be worse? You don't love me."
Loretta felt her jaw go slack as she watched Sam. A look of pain appeared on his face.
"I do Rosie, can't you see?"
"Liar!" she sobbed.
Sam lowered his head, shaking it slowly from side to side.
"Oh God, not this again," he muttered.
"Sam," Loretta felt she had a better chance of getting sense out of her son "what's she talking about?"
Sam heaved a sigh of resignation.
"She knows," as he waved a hand at his sister. The tears were easing but Rosie still shook on the lounger beside her mother. In an instant Loretta understood. This was exactly what she had feared and she knew she would have to be very careful.
"Rosie," she said gently after a moment. "Rosie...I can understand how this would be upsetting for you but you needn't be. Please, I still love dad and I still love you. Nothing is going to change that."
"But he loves you too," her daughter gestured vaguely at Sam "and he doesn't love me."
"Rosie!" Sam sounded exasperated. Loretta made a calming motion towards him with her hand.
"What makes you say that dear?"
"Be...because...because he makes love...to you but he...he won't do it with me."
The words came haltingly, punctuated by gulped breaths. Rosie's face was red and tear-stained. Loretta had never seen her look so vulnerable.
"Oh sweetie," she murmured sympathetically. This time, when she put an arm around her daughter, Rosie turned and buried her face in her mother's shoulder, the tears returning again. Loretta waited for a time and then, during a lull, she spoke again.
"Has Sam told you he doesn't love you?" She knew what the answer was, but the question was intended to get Rosie to think about what she was saying.
"No."
"Has he told you that he
does
love you?"
"Yes."
"And you want him to make love with you?"
"Yes."
"Don't you think that's wrong?" She was testing now, trying to find out what her daughter was really thinking. Rosie sniffed. The talking, the thinking was deflecting her emotion.
"How can it be wrong? You and Sam do it...and...and you do it with him and dad."
Loretta hadn't realised she knew quite so much about the way their relationship had developed.
"Sweetie, you realise that the love that Sam and I make is...different from what happens between your father and me? Dad is my life partner; I'm going to love him forever and I'm going to love Sam forever too but what happens between us and Sam is something else. We're making love, yes, but its love of a different kind. We're doing it because we enjoy it; it's fun"
"Well...why can't I have it too? I want to be part if it, part of the fun. This is my family too, isn't it?"
"Rosie, I told you. The only reason I'm comfortable making love with mom is because..."
"...because there's no risk of pregnancy. I know." Rosie interrupted her brother, finishing his sentence in an exasperated tone.
"Well, your brother's quite right to be cautious Rosie. You can't be mad at him for wanting to protect you." She paused, frowning "But sweetie, aren't you on the pill? We went to the doctor months ago...Have you been taking the tablets every day?"