The Dropped Pill

My husband Nathan never had trouble sleeping. He would typically be snoring deeply within 10 minutes of his head hitting the pillow. I used to be similar, but in the last few years I have frequently found myself waking up about an hour into sleep and then laying awake for hours. Whatever the worries I may have from day to day they always seem amplified at 3:00 in the morning after restlessly shifting all night from one sleeping position to another.

Last year my doctor prescribed sleeping pills. I had mixed success with them. Sometimes they seemed to help me sleep through the night but other times they didn't help much at all. Two months ago the doctor prescribed an alternative pill and that one worked quite amazingly. If I took one 30 minutes before going to bed I would be in dreamland within minutes and through the night. The one side effect was some drowsiness in the morning, so I elected to use them occasionally.

So that's the setup and fast forward to the events of 3 weeks ago. It was the second week of December and my sister-in-law Erica and her husband had invited us up to their cabin in Big Bear for the weekend. We don't get to see them as often these days now that their kids are all in college. My boy Kevin was in his last year of high school and would be going off to college next year as well, so it was a nice idea for the three of us to have some time with them before the holidays.

There's nothing pertinent to tell about the drive up to the cabin. The three of us were in a good mood, the weather was chilly and getting colder the higher we got into the mountain. For people living in Southern California during the era of climate change, it was nice to feel the cold sometimes. We arrived, had hugs and greetings and settled into the routine of hanging out with the extended family. My sister-in-law is a great cook and amazing aromas surrounded us. There was a fire in the fireplace, music playing, a lot of talking and just as much eating and drinking. It was good times all around and all completely per normal. That night is when it got substantially less normal.

It was pretty late when we were all getting sleepy and decided to start setting up for sleeping. Having been there many times, we had the arrangements all figured out. The cabin was compact, with one bedroom, one bathroom and a small common area. Erica and her husband slept in the bedroom. Their oldest boy slept in a sleeping bag on the floor in their room. Their youngest slept on the sofa in the common room and Nathan, Kevin and I slept on the floor in that room. We had brought a thick comforter to lay down as a pseudo-mattress, with a couple of blankets to layer on top for warmth.

Nathan asked me if I wanted a sleeping pill. I told him I had neglected to bring them, but he said he had brought along 3 of the pills in case I needed them. With a few relaxing days ahead I wasn't too concerned about morning grogginess, so I said "sure". Nathan handed me the travel pill box and I took out one of the pills out as I walked to the bathroom. Kevin was coming out of the bathroom, so I handed the pill box to him and asked him to give it to his dad. I'm telling more details about this part because it's pertinent.

Behind closed door in the bathroom, I set the pill on the edge of the sink and started taking some toiletries out of my travel bag. I did my whole nighttime regimen (which is not pertinent) and filled a cup with some water. My hands still a little damp from cleaning, I tried to pick up the pill with my fingertips, but it slipped out -- bounced once in the sink and rolled into the drain. Awesome! But not the end of the world. If I had a sleepless night, at least I could snooze the next day as much as I wanted.

Everyone was ready for bed. We said goodnight all around with hugs and kisses. The lights went out, the dying fire in the fireplace giving the only faint glow. Nathan, Kevin and I got settled into our makeshift bed with Nate on my left and Kevin on the right.

It was cold inside the cabin, but that felt nice -- especially under two layers of warm blankets. As I laid there, I started thinking about the things we might do the next day. At first the only sound was the occasional crackling from the fireplace. Ten minutes later like clockwork, Nathan's snoring started drowning it out. I was relaxed and drifted off to sleep.

I regained half-consciousness at some point later, feeling a hand resting on my hip. My first logical assumption was that it was Nathan, but I was laying on my side facing him. I couldn't see him in the darkness, but I could hear his snoring and breathing in front of me, so it had to be my son Kevin behind me. I thought nothing of it, kept my rhythmic breathing, savored the warmth under the covers and tried to stay in a mode to fall back to sleep. Kevin's hand moved again on my hip. I had assumed his hand had landed there in his sleep, but this movement felt purposeful. Hmmmm, I thought to myself as I became more awake.

I didn't move or react in any way. My first thought was to avoid embarrassing him if in fact he was awake. I maintained my breathing pattern and waited to see if he would move his hand off. After two or three minutes, his hand moved again -- this time more toward my backside. He rested it on me again, almost cupping one of my buns. Super strange.

So many thoughts started racing through my head. Was Kevin really intentionally feeling me up? He was a healthy 18 year old boy with no girlfriend that I knew of, but that's not the sort of thing that would generally provoke someone to grope his mom. Perhaps he was actually asleep and doing this while dreaming? I thought to turn toward him to check, but if he was awake it would be embarrassing for both of us. So I worked on maintaining the illusion of being deep asleep.

Was he doing this because he thought I was in a deep sleeping-pill-induced slumber? If I had taken the pill, undoubtedly, I would be oblivious to all of this. Once I taken a pill an hour before bedtime and fell so soundly asleep in the living room that Nathan and Kevin had to both carry me into bed. In the morning I had no recollection of it at all. Powerful stuff, those pills.

So, was that it? He thought I had taken the pill and was taking advantage? It seemed very out of character for him. My thoughts were interrupted by another movement of his hand. This time his hand took a bit of fabric from my nightie and very slowly pulled it up. An inch at a time, until my butt was exposed to him. Under the warmth of the blankets, he palmed one of my butt cheeks. Ok, this certainly eliminated any doubt that it was an intentional act. I could have turned to him and asked him what the heck he was doing, but I didn't. More subtly, I could have pretended to be waking up at that moment. I'm sure he would have backed off in terror, but I did not do that either. It wasn't that I wanted to encourage him, but I was filled with puzzlement and mostly did not want to make an awkward situation. If he thought my buns were worthy of perving on, there was some sense of flattery in that. He wasn't doing anything all that awful -- it certainly could be worse.

Then, of course, it got a little bit worse. His hand began caressing my ass. I had panties on, but they left most of my butt cheeks exposed. His hand gently petted me, over the bare skin where it was bare and onto the panties. Although a bizarre thing to be happening, for sure, it also felt nice. I was thinking to myself I might actually just fall asleep to it.

Then on one of the caresses instead of going onto the panty, his fingers slipped underneath it. Resting between my flesh and the fabric, his hand paused there. He had a good handful of me by that time. I thought to myself, 'keep breathing normally,' and wondered at what point I would be forced to do something about it. I breathed in and out slowly and tried to remain calm. His hand stayed motionless for what seemed like a very long time. Perhaps he was waiting to make sure I was still asleep. After a time, his hand moved again -- caressing while gradually sliding his hand to my butt crack. Here's a funny part of it all... At that moment I felt my own first sense of real worry -- not that my son was sensuously feeling up my ass, but about whether I had properly cleaned myself down there. Kind of hilarious, as I think back on it now. But, alas, I was clean.

As Kevin rubbed up and down the length of my crack, I kept my eyes closed. I could hear my husband snoring, but otherwise the cabin was silent. Truth be told, if felt nice. It was weird, for sure, to be coming from my boy. But it did feel nice. I'm guessing this continued for a good ten minutes, by which time I became aware that he was slowly edging closer and closer to my pussy. He had to be so certain I was out cold. I would have thought that he would be scared to death I might wake up. He sure had confidence in my sleeping pills. Was this not the first time he had done something like this with me? That was an eye-opening thought (although I did keep my eyes closed).

Caress by caress, his fingers edged closer and closer to my pussy lips. I was not shaved down there but I have naturally fine pubic hair so I'm not really very hairy at all. His fingers were touching it. Running up and down through it. He was pushing between my legs to do this, but apparently not trying to penetrate me. I almost parted my legs a little bit to give him better access but realized that would give up my sleeping act. Kevin got to the point where his hand was pushing down far enough to run the full length of my vagina. I did a remarkable job of laying still and breathing normally throughout this, but if he pushed his fingers inside me, I was not sure I could prevent myself from having a physical reaction. I laid there. Enjoying the feeling but at the same time racing my mind through scenarios.

It felt so nice to be touched down there. My husband and I still had sex, but after years of marriage it was an occasional rather than regular thing with us. Our intimacy was more likely these days to be spooning but without a lot of sexual elements. It was fine and I'm not complaining in any way, but it did feel nice to have my pussy touched in a way that I had not felt for literally a decade or more.

Up and down his fingers ran along me. With every push down I braced for the possibility that he would penetrate my lips. I prepared to try to maintain my faux sleeping. But for the longest time he just caressed me in that way. It felt so nice. Then with one deep push, his hand went down the farthest it had gone, cupping my sex with his fingertips resting on my clitoris. At that touch it's a miracle I did not react more strongly but as I exhaled, I did make a slight "mmmmmmmmm" sound. I maintained my breathing and wondered if it had given me away. It seemed not. His hand remained cupped on my pussy. It must have sounded like a sleeping reaction to the feeling of what he did. He didn't pull his hand away nor did he move it further. As much as I tantalizingly wished he would wiggle his fingers on my clit, I was also glad he did not because I don't think I could have controlled my reaction. I don't know how long he remained like that, but I just laid there enjoying the feeling. Eventually my acting performance of pretending to be asleep turned into real sleep. When I woke up the next morning, there was no hand on my pussy and I was alone under the covers feeling... remarkably rested and with a smile.

I could hear others outside the cabin talking. I felt around down there. My panties were still in place. My nightie was pulled back down. I even felt around for any indication that he might have ejaculated -- either on me or on the comforter, but there was no evidence.

I got up, cleaned up in the bathroom, greeting my Erica and others as I saw them. With warm pants, slippers and a jacket I went out to the front porch to join all the men who were drinking coffee and enjoying a crisply cold but sunny mountain morning. They greeted me with good morning and Nathan poured me a coffee. I neither avoided making eye contact with Kevin nor did I purposely give him any looks. I think I did a great job of being completely normal. And he acted quite normal himself. "Wow," I thought to myself. Knowing the hijinks he had been up to last night, Kevin sure was relaxed.

That day played out like any other day. It was a great day, actually. The weather was kind to us, everyone was relaxed. I was certainly extra relaxed, although nobody knew it but me. When I interacted with Kevin it was 100% normal. I was relieved there was no awkward weirdness, but at the same time amazed that it could be that way for him. The day was so normal that I almost let the events of the prior night completely leave my mind. They darted back at times such as dinner when everyone was talking and my husband teased Kevin about something, he looked to me with a smile looking for support. With a laugh I took his side and smiled back at him, but in that innocent mother-and-son moment recalling the feeling of his hand cupping my pussy. A dichotomy of the normal and the bizarre.

After dinner, the guys played a board game while Erica and I drank wine and talked. It was a nice end to a lovely day. At a point, the evening seemed to be coming to a conclusion. It was getting quiet and people were getting sleepy. Erica and her husband started getting ready for bed and for the first time I asked myself what I was going to do that night. Would I make sure Kevin saw that I was not taking a sleeping pill? Would I ensure that Nathan slept between us? Or would I set up a situation where something could potentially happen again?

In all honesty, I knew the right thing to do was to take action to prevent any shenanigans. But also in honesty, I was titillated to think that something might happen again. I rationalized it as being harmless. Yes, Kevin is my son but he is an adult -- and nothing really bad happened. If I did not mind being touched, then it was victimless.

I wrestled with the decision as everyone got ready for sleep. I was still entirely undecided when Kevin was coming out of the bathroom and at that moment Nathan asked me if I wanted a sleeping pill. He extended an offering of the pillbox ad Kevin passed me and I swear I did see him make eye contact with it in a unusually focused way. As Kevin passed, without even having a moment to think it through I said "Yeah, it's a good idea." I took the pillbox into the bathroom and closed the door. Standing at the sink, I opened it and took out one sleeping pill. I held the pill between my fingers and looked at it -- then looked into the mirror at myself. I look like any mom. Not too old, not that young any more. Just a normal mom, standing at a precipice. I assessed myself in the mirror for long seconds before letting the pill drop from my fingers into the sink. That done, I turned on the faucet to wash it down the drain. I took a deep breath, then cleaned up and brushed my teeth for bed. Before leaving the bathroom I peed and am sheepish to admit I took extra care to clean myself down there. With a probably guilty-looking smirk I tidied up nicely. I put on my nightie and appraised myself in the mirror one last time. Yes, I look like a mom, but for sure not too old. I like how I look and feel good about myself.

I put my hand on the doorknob to leave, but pause for a moment. On pure impulse I reach down and remove my panties from under the nightie. It's a wicked thing to do. If I had thought about it for another 10 seconds I would have put them back on. But instead, I scrunched them into my hand, tucked them away in my toiletries bag and left the bathroom.

Kevin was already under the covers texting or doing something on his phone. Nathan was getting himself situated and the others were off to their respective sleeping areas. As I eased onto the comforter between my two men, I turned to my husband, handing him back the pillbox and without much premeditation said softly to him "Honey I think I accidentally took two."

I said it softly enough that Kevin could hear me if he were paying attention but not as if I wanted him to hear. I knew what my husband's reaction would be, though. With a look of worry and in a louder voice than me, he asked "You took two of the sleeping pills?"

I nodded, "Yeah I think I did." Nathan gestured palms up as if to ask how that could happen. "I took one when I was done, but actually I think I also took one when I went into the bathroom."

"Well...", he said with a look of consternation. "That's not ideal." I shrugged. He said, "I'm sure it's nothing dangerous." Then, easing himself under the covers and with a slight chuckle, "If there's a fire, Kevin and I may need to carry you out unconscious."

I smiled weakly and nestled myself under the blankets between the two of them. I wasn't sure if what I had done was wickedly sneaky or just dumb, but it was done. Kevin would at least believe I would be out colder than ever.

I leaned back to kiss my son goodnight on the forehead, and he responded with "Night mom." I turned to Nathan and gave him a goodnight kiss, then laid down and pulled the covers up to my chin. Nathan flicked off the last light next to him and the room was dark and nearly silent, but for the crackling of the fireplace.

I was hyper conscious of my position laying there. I was on my side as I had been the night before, facing my husband with my back to my son. I wondered what Kevin was thinking at that moment and as I did so felt a spark of arousal. A crazy thing to make me feel aroused. I pulled my knees up a little toward me, then wondered if that would encourage or dissuade him. Ultimately I wasn't sure, but decided I should stop worrying about those details and just 'go to sleep' as I normally would -- if I were normally going to sleep next to my son intentionally with no panties. Heh.

And so, I laid there. I listened to the fire, and then to my husband's gradually increasing snoring. I settled into a rhythmic breathing as I normally would when going to sleep. It was then that I wondered how I would be if I were really asleep. Should I be snoring? Nathan never said that I snored, and he would not be one to hold back on that. I imagined I would sleep quietly, perhaps with somewhat heavier breathing.

As the minutes dragged on, my mind raced. I heard very little movement from Kevin behind me apart from an occasional shift in his position. I let my breathing slowly deepen and tried to keep the pace regular. It makes sense that Kevin would wait to give me plenty of time to fall asleep, but humorously I found myself feeling impatient and thinking 'Come on, mama's pussy needs petting.' I smiled at that thought but kept up my performance. It seemed as if a lot of time was passing. At one point I experimented with letting my mouth open a little bit, which resulted in my breathing sounding a little bit deeper and throatier. I have no idea if that's authentic to my sleeping, but it seemed natural at the time. I did that for more minutes and then more minutes after that.

Nearly an hour after going to bed I was beginning to doubt that anything would happen -- which, of course, is when things tend to happen.

I heard Kevin move and felt his body turning toward mine. I did everything I could to not visibly or audibly react. Breathe....

He was motionless for a while after that. Then I felt the hand on my hip as the night before. He just rested it there. I felt weirdly proud of him for being patient and cautious, squelching a smile at the ironic thought. He did not seem to be putting on any act of being asleep himself. I guess he imagined that if I woke up he could just instantly play asleep.

He moved his hand on my hip, caressing it a little bit, then paused. After a few seconds, he did it again with a bit more pressure. After another pause, he grasped my by the hip and shook me a little bit. I'm sure he was trying to make extra sure that I was out. I did a phenomenal job of keeping up the faux-sleep breathing with no other reaction. That seemed to satisfy him.