I was late afternoon as Sam drove up to the "Den of Iniquity", he was so happy to be back, it looked exactly as he remembered, "Red and Black", he gave out a deep sigh. He grabbed his suitcase and entered the club, everywhere was deserted. He groaned inwardly, surely Helen and Dennis hadn't screwed up in the two months he'd been away? "You're just tired from two days of travel," he told himself. Before he could put more thought into doubts, he was suddenly lambasted by loud music, he didn't know what the title was but rather appropriately it included the words "welcome home", as though on cue a dozen people poured out of the new room and sang along with the song.
'Gee, for a minute there I thought we'd gone bust.'
'Oh ye of little faith,' Helen, his mother exclaimed, we're doing better than ever, you need to go away more often.'
'Hello everyone,' Sam addressed everyone, 'believe me when I say I'm delighted to see you, that, it is an understatement.'
'So, what's new?' Sam asked his mother.
'We've got the private room up and running, it's proving very profitable.'
'Oh, how so?'
'Okay, girls,' and as if on command three of the waitresses, undid the fronts of their French Maid outfits to reveal six bouncing breasts, 'welcome home Sam,' they yelled in unison. They had letters on each breast, E, L; then M, U; and finally, S, A. Everyone looking slightly baffled.
'Kathy, Trish, change ends,' Helen called above the bar-room noise, they did so, and their display now read SAMUEL, this brought cheers and looks of understanding.
'I thought Dennis had rehearsed this,' she asked?
'He did Helen, he decided we'd do it this way, he said that as Sam has been in the middle east for two months, we should call him "El Musa"
Sam joined in the laughter, 'I've been where the ladies dress in abayas? All I can say is, what a sight for sore eyes.'
'Come and have a drink,' his mother urged, although he'd had a drink on the journey home, he relished the thought of a good cold American beer, he downed the proffered glass in one, accompanied by loud cheers.
Sam was introduced to the new staff, shaking hands with a lady with bare breasts which jiggled in rhythm with the handshake.
'Now you go upstairs and get changed, we're going to make a night of it.'
'Well, I definitely need a shower,' Sam was hoping his mother would come up and help him shower, he'd been looking forward to having sex with her for most of the two months, but he realised as hosts they couldn't both leave the bar unattended, well not for too long anyway, which made him wonder where was Dennis, their business partner?
Sam went and showered, drying himself off, he heard footsteps, the sound muffled by the thick carpet, he stood there naked, his mother must have found a few minutes in which she could attend to him.
'Hi Sam, sorry I missed your homecoming, oops, good job it wasn't your mom, now that would have been embarrassing.' It was Dennis, turning up at the wrong time, typical.
Sam offered a sickly grin but didn't need to think of an answer, Dennis carried on, 'I know you must be tired, but we've got a great night arranged tonight, there's a bunch of guys who watch soccer, on an English sports channel, believe me it's always a rollicking good night, this'll be their fourth evening with us.'
'I've no intention of going to bed before everyone else, so count me in.'