I was late afternoon as Sam drove up to the "Den of Iniquity", he was so happy to be back, it looked exactly as he remembered, "Red and Black", he gave out a deep sigh. He grabbed his suitcase and entered the club, everywhere was deserted. He groaned inwardly, surely Helen and Dennis hadn't screwed up in the two months he'd been away? "You're just tired from two days of travel," he told himself. Before he could put more thought into doubts, he was suddenly lambasted by loud music, he didn't know what the title was but rather appropriately it included the words "welcome home", as though on cue a dozen people poured out of the new room and sang along with the song.
'Gee, for a minute there I thought we'd gone bust.'
'Oh ye of little faith,' Helen, his mother exclaimed, we're doing better than ever, you need to go away more often.'
'Hello everyone,' Sam addressed everyone, 'believe me when I say I'm delighted to see you, that, it is an understatement.'
'So, what's new?' Sam asked his mother.
'We've got the private room up and running, it's proving very profitable.'
'Oh, how so?'
'Okay, girls,' and as if on command three of the waitresses, undid the fronts of their French Maid outfits to reveal six bouncing breasts, 'welcome home Sam,' they yelled in unison. They had letters on each breast, E, L; then M, U; and finally, S, A. Everyone looking slightly baffled.
'Kathy, Trish, change ends,' Helen called above the bar-room noise, they did so, and their display now read SAMUEL, this brought cheers and looks of understanding.
'I thought Dennis had rehearsed this,' she asked?
'He did Helen, he decided we'd do it this way, he said that as Sam has been in the middle east for two months, we should call him "El Musa"
Sam joined in the laughter, 'I've been where the ladies dress in abayas? All I can say is, what a sight for sore eyes.'
'Come and have a drink,' his mother urged, although he'd had a drink on the journey home, he relished the thought of a good cold American beer, he downed the proffered glass in one, accompanied by loud cheers.
Sam was introduced to the new staff, shaking hands with a lady with bare breasts which jiggled in rhythm with the handshake.
'Now you go upstairs and get changed, we're going to make a night of it.'
'Well, I definitely need a shower,' Sam was hoping his mother would come up and help him shower, he'd been looking forward to having sex with her for most of the two months, but he realised as hosts they couldn't both leave the bar unattended, well not for too long anyway, which made him wonder where was Dennis, their business partner?
Sam went and showered, drying himself off, he heard footsteps, the sound muffled by the thick carpet, he stood there naked, his mother must have found a few minutes in which she could attend to him.
'Hi Sam, sorry I missed your homecoming, oops, good job it wasn't your mom, now that would have been embarrassing.' It was Dennis, turning up at the wrong time, typical.
Sam offered a sickly grin but didn't need to think of an answer, Dennis carried on, 'I know you must be tired, but we've got a great night arranged tonight, there's a bunch of guys who watch soccer, on an English sports channel, believe me it's always a rollicking good night, this'll be their fourth evening with us.'
'I've no intention of going to bed before everyone else, so count me in.'
When Sam was dressed, he walked down to the bar and entered a room bursting with atmosphere, there was time just before the kick-off to meet the soccer fans, 'this is Bob,' Dennis introduced the chairman, 'he'll tell you who everyone is,' and Bob immediately introduced him to his 20-odd members, whose names Sam immediately forgot except, 'and this is Bill, my younger brother and vice-chairman.'
'I see it's a "men" only club,' Sam asked.
'Not at all,' Bob answered, 'my wife's a member,' and nodded his head towards one of the three ladies who'd bared their breasts earlier on.
Sam's face was aching from the somewhat forced smiles he'd presented to each of the club members, his smile was replaced by a look of surprise, 'oh you don't say,' thinking does he know she flashes her tits, Sam thought.
Sam found himself behind the bar, pouring draft beers, the three ladies who'd bared their breasts earlier were covered up, taking the drinks to the tables, Sam noticed no-one was drinking "Bud" and wondered why?
When half-time arrived, the teams were drawing two goals each, and that's when the fun began.
Bob, the chairman stood up, 'honey, I need a beer,' everyone cheered, Sam was puzzled.
Kathy, Bob's wife took him a beer, handed it to him and removed the top of her maid's outfit, cheers all round, Bob handed the beer back and leant towards her bare breast, mouth wide open, then she poured the beer, over her breast and managed, to even more jubilation to guide it into her husband's mouth.
Sam stood behind the bar, while everyone else was focused on Bob and Kathy, he slid his hand under Helen's short skirt, running his fingers up and down her suspender strap, then on her bottom, 'missed me, have you?'
'Yeah, managed to shop, they've got fantastic gold souks, and for such a conservative country the underwear displays are more what you'd find in in a lingerie store for showgirls, tassels for attaching to nipples, who the hell wears that sort of stuff?'
'Not your "cup of tea" then.'