The Cunning Linguist

Copyright Nikki Dark 2019

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Edited by Tex Beethoven

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All sexually active characters in this work of fiction are 18 years or older.

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"Show me your dick," Lily demanded of her brother.

"What? Get fucked!" Greg responded. "Why would you even ask that?"

"Look, I heard something today, and I need to know if it's true."

Greg stared at his sister. He couldn't help but wonder what she'd heard and more importantly, who she'd heard it from. "You don't

need

to see my dick," he replied, stalking away.

"Is it really as small as an Ikea pencil?"

Greg turned on his sister, his stare projecting his anger. Lily took a step back under the heat of his gaze.

"Who the

fuck

told you that?" he demanded.

"Is it true?" Lily asked, recovering herself. It was far from the first time she'd faced down his anger. Hell, they were both redheads, and had the stereotypical tempers to match.

"I'm not dignifying that with an answer. Who the fuck told you?"

"No one told me, which is why I want to know. I overheard Lizzie and Chloe talking in the changerooms. I wanted to smash their fucking faces in; but if it's true, confronting them about it won't get me anywhere."

"What did you hear?" Greg demanded.

"Chloe was talking about who on the football team she would like to sleep with, and your name came up. Lizzie told her not to bother. She claimed the two of you hooked up after a game earlier this year, and when she went to blow you, she... and this is just me quoting her here... she said that all she found in your pants was a tiny prick the size of an Ikea pencil. Chloe asked what she did, and she claimed to have laughed at you and walked out with your pants still around your ankles."

"Fucking bitch," Greg seethed.

"So is it true?"

"What's it to you anyway?"

"I hate that bitch, Greg. She makes life hell on the cheer team. She's snarky and manipulative, and I'd love nothing more than to bring her down. But more than that, you're my brother, and I know what it's like to be on the wrong end of rumour and innuendo, and what it's like to be bullied. I didn't get these puppies overnight, remember?" She cupped her large tits to emphasize her point. "I used to be flat as a board, and I was like one of the last girls to develop. I was gangly and awkward and being called a surfboard or an ironing board is pretty shit. I'd like nothing more than to smash that bitch's face in, but like I said before, if there's any truth to it, that won't work so well."

"I'm not showing you my dick Lily," Greg insisted. He knew what she'd been through. The bullying had been bad enough that her grades had plummeted, and their parents had had to get her psychological help. They'd ended up changing schools, and Lily had been held back a year, so even though she was a year older than he was, they'd ended up in the same year level. He'd recently turned eighteen, while his older sister was already nineteen.

"Then just tell me. Surely if it was a decent size, you'd have told me by now."

"Fine, I've got a small dick! Happy?! Fuck you, Lily!" Greg stormed off, all but ran to his room and slammed it so hard Lily thought the whole house had shaken.

Lily knew better than to go after him. It would take time for him to work through the anger to a point he'd be approachable again, and given the sensitivity of the topic, it could be days. Music soon blasted from his room, another sign that his room wasn't a safe place for her right now. She retreated to her own room, thinking about how she could have approached the situation better. Maybe just demanding it like she had hadn't been the best idea, but she was genuinely angry with Lizzie and Chloe. They really were a couple of bitches. But if Greg was truly small, she couldn't confront them over the issue. She'd have to be under-handed and sneaky, if she could come up with such a plan.

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It was two days before Lily dared to approach Greg again. She went to him in his room like a supplicant.

"Can we please talk?" she asked when he looked up and moved his headphones away so he could hear.

"Sure."

"I'm sorry about, well, you know... my approach the other day," she offered as an opening. Unlike her previous, less than thoughtful approach, she'd given long thought about how to approach this conversation.

"It's okay, but it was pretty shocking."

"Yeah, I can see that. But I really do just want to help."

"Yeah, but you can't, can you? It's alright for you, you were late developing and all, but then you went and got like, epic sized tits and this amazing body and... and now you're a Goddess. I've busted my ass in the gym and I'm on the football team and all, but well, there's not much I can do about the size of my dick, is there? It doesn't matter how tight my abs are or how impressive my biceps are if a girl decides my dick is too small"

"Is it really that bad?" Lily asked, choosing not to respond to his description of her being a Goddess, but happily filing it away in her memory banks.

"It's bad enough," Greg said. "Bad enough that if Lizzie and Chloe go on about it, I'll probably never get another date until I get out of this town. I mean, you know exactly what they're like. Even if I found someone who didn't mind, they'd probably ostracise her just for dating me, and then

that

would end too."

"That's like the worst-case scenario though, Greg," Lily offered.

"But entirely realistic." Lily knew it was, but she didn't voice that opinion.

"So look, as well as being sorry about how I approached you, I've been thinking about how we might change things, too. Maybe build you a new reputation to offset your... um, challenges."

"Really," he said flatly as if he didn't believe her. It wasn't a question; it was just a statement.

"Yeah, we need to reinvent you. Imagine if girls began going on about how you gave them the most epic orgasms ever. I doubt they'd care about the size of your dick, if that experience was on offer."

"Yeah sure, only I have no idea how that would ever happen."

"Cunnilingus."

"Cunning what?"

"Oh my god, you can't be serious," Lily laughed. "Cunnilingus, aka eating pussy, licking the slit, lip service?"

"Alright already. I get it, I just wasn't expecting it, and didn't think that was what you said!"

"Well that's going to be my new go to," Lily laughed. "Cunning Linguistics. If we can turn you into the ultimate pussy eater, a

cunning linguist

shall we say, then maybe we can also transform your reputation. I know a couple of girls who value a good orgasm enough not to worry about how they get it. Hell, some of them even give them to each other!"

"As good as that sounds, how the hell am I supposed to become a pussy-eating expert?"

"Nope, not a

pussy eating expert

. Think branding. You're to become a cunning linguist," Lily corrected him. "Has a certain flair, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess it does."

"I'm not sure. Give me some time to think about it. I need to talk to some people."

"You can't tell them about... you know, my dick," Greg insisted.

"You'll need to show me, then."

"What?"

"If you don't want me to talk about it, you need to show me."

"That makes no fucking sense Lily," he objected.

"Yeah, but if I don't see it now, I'll die of curiosity."

"You're actually serious?"

"Uh huh."

"How about when you

do

come up with some tangible plan for this cunning linguistics thing, I

then

show you my cock?"

"Nope, now or never," Lily insisted. "You do know I love you, right? Even if it's half an inch, I'll never use it against you."

"You're a freak, Lily," Greg accused, but mildly, shaking his head. "I can't believe I'm even

considering

doing this."

Lily grinned at him as he stood up from his bed and released the fastenings of his jeans. He pushed both his jeans and boxers down to stand before his sister with his small cock sticking out. He couldn't help but blush as she moved close and sat on the side of his bed for a closer inspection.

"Can you get it hard for me?" she asked.

"What? That wasn't the deal!"

"Yeah, but like, I want to see what we're working with here."

"It doesn't just get hard like that, you know," Greg protested, even as he sensed himself starting to respond to having his cock out in front of his sexy sister.

"Hmm, does this help?" Lily asked and leaned in as if she were going to take him in her mouth. Greg watched her in shock, and his cock did indeed spring to life. She came close enough to him that he could feel her warm breath on the head of his dick, but with a giggle, she sat back.

"God, Lily!"

"Well it worked," was all she offered. "So... you

are

small, but it's not the end of the world, Greg. At least it's a nice-

looking

cock. Small but perfectly formed, I'd say."

Greg quickly bent and grabbed his pants, pulling them back on.

"You'd better be able to help," he grumbled, making it clear it was time for Lily to vacate his room.

Lily left, going to her own room to ponder the challenge of how to get one of her friends to teach Greg to be the best pussy eater there was.

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"So Annie, I've got something kind of odd to ask you," Lily said to her friend as they walked home from school together later that week.

"Why does that intro strike fear in my heart?" Annie asked with a laugh. "What's so odd?"

"Would you please teach my brother how to eat pussy?" Lily just blurted out.

"The fuck? You know I'm a lesbian Lily, why the fuck would you ask me that?"

"To get back at Lizzie and Chloe."

"Okay, there seriously has to be more to this. There's no way that makes any sense."

"Well, it's like a really long story, and I promised not to tell all of it, which makes it like really awkward."

"Well then... no, absolutely not," Annie laughed.

"Shit, look... okay, if you totally promise not to tell anyone, I'll tell you why I'm asking. I mean, there are two reasons why I'm asking you specifically. First, I know how much you hate Chloe after she outed you, and second, you're the best pussy-licker I know."

"Well then, I doubt you'll convince me, but I'll listen and promise to keep it all to myself, just in case it fucks up Chloe somehow."

Lily explained what she'd overheard and the conversation she'd had with Greg, leaving out the bit about demanding he show her his cock.

"And so how does this fuck with Chloe?" Annie asked when Lily finished.

"Think about it. If she never gave Greg a chance, and he turns out to be the best pussy-licker in school, giving orgasms so amazing that everyone is talking about them, you know she's going to want a turn. And then Greg can laugh in her face!"

"Oh my God, that is ridiculous Lily! I'm sorry, but no."

"Damn."

"But like you know if you ever want your pussy licked, or you want to practice your skills, I'm totally here for you!"

"Yeah, thanks Annie."

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"So how's the plan coming along?" Greg asked her a couple of days later.

"Not as well as I'd hoped. It turns out it's really hard to just like convince a friend to teach my brother to eat pussy. Especially when I can't tell them why."

"Great, so now all your friends think I can't eat pussy," Greg sighed. "I don't think this is the help I need, but thanks Lily. Let's just drop it."

"Unless

I

were the one who taught you," Lily suggested. It was out of her mouth before she'd even processed what she was saying.

"Say that again?" Greg asked in shock.

"Um, shit, did I actually say that out loud?" Lily laughed. "I didn't mean it."

"Freak!" Greg taunted.

"It, um... it

could

work, though. At least... well... I could help you improve."

"Stop it Lily," Greg laughed, "Don't be ridiculous." He walked out of her room, shaking his head.

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"Okay Lily, if I'd said yes the other day when you said you could teach me to be, you know, a whatchamacallit, a cunning linguist, what would you have done?" Greg said, having gone to find her in her room.

"I dunno really. I guess, um, I'd have done it?"

"Even though I'm your brother."

"

Because

you're my brother. I wouldn't do it for just anyone, you know."

"But like, wouldn't that mean that I'd like have to... um, lick your pussy?"

"Yeah, but it's not like we'd be having actual sex or anything, it would be purely academic. Tutor and student."

"Then if you're not going to blow up in my face for asking, I do want you to teach me. Please."

"Really? Why the change of heart?" Lily asked, her stomach doing flip-flops at the thought of actually having to go through with what she'd suggested.

"I was at a party the other night, and I was hitting on Zoe Candana, and I thought I had a good chance until Chloe decided to come past. She whispered something to Zoe, and it was all over. Zoe just said something like 'sorry Ikea,' and walked off. I was ready to beat the shit out of Chloe, but I can't of course, so I just left. It seems you're right though. I have no idea why Chloe feels the need to destroy me, but for some reason she seems determined to do it."

"She's just a fucking bitch-mole" Lily insisted.

"So, you'll help me?"

"I will," Lily replied.

"When?"

"Why not now? No one else is home," Lily offered.

"Wow, um, I guess there's no time like the present," Greg agreed.

There was a long pause while Greg worried if his sister would change her mind, and Lily gathered her thoughts.

"Okay then, so before we start anything like, um practical, I think we need to check that you understand what all the bits of a girl are."

"Um, I'm good there, it's not like I've never seen a girl naked, Lily."

"Hey, I'm teaching, so we do it my way," his sister insisted. She pulled out her phone and googled a diagram of the female anatomy, and went through the different parts of the vagina one at a time.

"So every girl is different, right, but they have the same basic bits." Greg rolled his eyes but didn't interrupt. "Some girls like different bits to be stimulated, like some really get off on having a tongue thrust inside them, others like to have the labia licked, some like the labia minora sucked, and almost everyone loves to have attention paid to their clitoris. Like that's the ultimate, and typically where the orgasm comes in. But even then, how the clitoris is treated and what gives the best orgasm works differently for different girls."

"So... like if you're all different, how the hell can you teach me to be an expert?" Greg asked.

"Well for a start, stamina is like super-important. If a guy just gives up when you're nearly there, it's about as shit as it gets. I mean can you imagine being about to cum, and then a girl just stopping? Only for a lot of girls it's worse, like if you stop it's like going backwards to fifty percent or even less. Or even if you go from doing just the right thing to something else, it's like the floor drops out from under her, and you have to build her way up again. So being prepared to learn what's getting her off and what works for her, is a massive step most guys miss. But I can at least give you pointers on what to look and listen for, so you'll know when you're on the right track. I think that's the most important thing I can teach you."

"So when you say stamina, how long are we talking?"

Lily just shrugged. "It varies greatly. Could be half an hour. Maybe even more."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, so practice and stamina are totally important. Ready for your first go?"

"Um, yes?" he replied unconvincingly.

Lily stood up and peeled her leggings down, revealing a pink cotton thong beneath. Without it seeming to bother her at all, she then rolled that down her legs as well, exposing herself to her brother. Greg gawked as her pussy was revealed to him. She had red pubic hair cropped to a landing strip, and then it seemed her lips had been shaved bare, but he couldn't quite tell, as she stood with her legs together.

"I think you should kneel by my bed and I'll lie on it," Lily suggested as she looked about for a comfortable spot. Greg just nodded, dumb-struck and compliant at the sight of her. Lily sat on her bed, then leant back, propped on her elbows, drawing her feet in to the edge of the bed with her knees spread wide. Her labia were indeed bare, and a pale pink in colour. With her legs spread as wide as they were, her labia minora separated as well. They weren't overly long, but appeared thin and delicate, only slightly darker than her outer lips. "Come on, get in close, then."

Greg swallowed and knelt between his sister's legs, watching closely as she reached to her pussy and gently parted herself. Before he could do anything, she reviewed each part of herself with him, going back over what the diagram had taught. Greg stared as his sister detailed every element of her pussy, marvelling in the detail.

"Now lick me, Greg. Start slow with the labia majora, and for now just tease me."

Greg reached out with a finger first, and he stroked delicately across the surface of the target his sister offered. He felt her shudder slightly before he leaned in and ran the tip of his tongue up the outside of her right lip, then repeated the move on the left. She sighed in response, and he took it as encouragement to continue. He laid his tongue flat against her and lapped along her pussy, then experimented with teasing the tip of his tongue along her slit, this time between the delicate folds of her labia minora.

"Oh yes," Lily sighed pleasurably. "You'll find that different girls like themselves spread differently too, Greg. Some like to hold themselves apart for you, others prefer you to do it for them. Others don't like being spread open at all, and just expect you to work your tongue within them without spreading their lips.

"Which do you like, Lily?" he asked.

"Good question, and well worth asking whichever girl you're with. Personally, I like it all to be honest, but it's nice not to have to think about what I'm doing, and to have the other person do it for me. But if I start moaning, or better yet trembling, you're doing just what I need."

Greg used his fingers to spread his sister's outer lips, loving the sight of her wet, bright pink insides.

"Tongue fuck me, Greg," Lily moaned. "Thrust your tongue into my vagina. I want to feel how deep you can get it."

Greg did as he was asked, pointing his tongue and thrusting it inside his sister's wet hole, pushing it in and out. He kept going until Lily told him to change it up, now to lick her clit.

He paused and took a moment to survey it, to take in the sight of the little pleasure nub nestled within its hood. Then he swept his tongue over it before circling it around and around. Lily gave him pointers and he listened and followed along, working his tongue fervently or gently in response to her instructions.

"Fuck yes Greg, there. Harder! Just like that! Keep going and don't change a thing," Lily demanded what seemed an eternity later. "Don't fucking stop!"

Greg's tongue felt raw, it was flattened against her clit, and he was rubbing it back and forth, feeling his sister buck her hips against his face as he did so. Her fingers grabbed hold of him and held him to her as she came hard, wailing with her orgasm. She pushed his head away and lay back on her bed, her belly fluttering, her whole pussy pulsing with the aftershocks of her ecstasy.

Greg sat back on his heels, his cock straining inside his pants, simply watching his sister as she came down from her orgasmic high.

"Think you can go again?" she asked him a minute later.