The Clowns in My Pants

And then Mom broke my micro-second reverie with words that helped me find a new game plan.

"I feel like I'm being padded down by the Vice Squad."

I put on my best Hawaii Five-0 voice "Ok, book her Danno."

She shrieked with mirth "Book me? What did I do? You're crazy."

I stood up and Danno said, "This is no laughing matter Miss, I haven't finished the search yet" lifting her arms "now up against the wall," wedging my foot between her legs "and spread 'em." Then I toed her heel outward.

"You're crazy" she laughed, and complied, leaving her hands on the wall and her feet 8 inches apart.

I squatted back down and Danno said "C'mon Suspect, you know the procedure, spread 'em properly." I tapped both ankles further apart.

She was loving the game (hadn't the magazines told me she missed games?) and opened her legs to about two feet. "A Suspect now am I? What am I suspected of doing?"

I was padding up the inside of her legs, daring to go within four or five inches of the panties before stroking my fingers round the sides to the front, then standing up to start padding her hips and up the sides and back of her torso. "We have reason to believe you may be packing dangerous goods."

"Oh really" she said, and turned around as I'd gone from her shoulders up her arms and back down to her shoulders. "So, am I clean, did you find anything officer?"

"No, indeed everything seems to be in perfect order, you look absolutely faultless" I said with intended flattery as I gave her the once over in the outfit.

"Gosh, thank you," she said with genuine gratitude at the flattery "so I can go now copper?"

"Wait a minute Suspect. So, not carrying any dangerous weapons hey? Then what about this ammunition you've got on you?"

"Ammunition?" She was smiling at the game and not sure what I was talking about but hoping it was another compliment.

Then I had two surprises and made two almost irrecoverable errors.

I reached out with both fingers to pinch the front of the corset covering roughly where I guessed mom's nipples would be hidden underneath. "Yes ammunition, what about these two bullets?"

The first and most obvious error was that once again my actions were moving faster than my brain; I'd made a deliberate touching move for my mother's tit area.

She reacted instantly "Now THAT is enough, is THAT standard procedure officer?" The fact she'd called me officer, and that there was a faint smile of forgiveness rather than anger in her face, gave me the hope that maybe not all was lost and hopefully I had just moved too soon and too direct.

The first surprise I got was that my aim was remarkably accurate. Both hands very briefly held a covered nipple between the thumb and forefinger.

The second surprise I got was the knowledge that these were big nipples. I love big nipples. I love big nipples more than big tits.

The second error I made was thinking of those nipples and the reaction they would be having on my cock. The error was in wondering about the current state of my cock. The error was thinking about my cock NOT getting hard. I suddenly realised that now was too soon and mom would be gone like a scared rabbit if she knew my cock was hardening up right now.

Hardening? There wasn't much hardening left to do.

As soon as I got a close up mom's pantied ass, my brain sent a message down to the circus crew surging through the blood in my groin and told them to get ready for a show, the command was clear "Commence tent erection." I didn't need to look down to know the greatest show on earth was in rehearsal mode and the curtain was already up. If mom looked down, those circus clowns would soon be out of a job. So I made the error of thinking I could think my cock into going down. It doesn't work. It has the opposite effect. Try it, next time you've got a rock hard stiffy and you've got the woman of your dreams near naked beside you, try and think your erection into going down. It can't be done. Put it up there with not thinking about white polar bears in the snow; the more you try to not think of those darn bears, the more they put on a show in your head. It's the same with cocks. The brain transmits the "Go down" command and the real leaders of the male body, those cock clowns, take over. "Incoming message does not compute does not compute, override override, cock is hereby ordered to ignore future messages from the brain, continue construction, alert the balls, sperm to remain on high alert."

I'd read so much of my mothers desires in those god bless 'em women's magazines, that I knew, above all else, she missed and craved games and fun and laughter.

"You are right Miss. That is not standard procedure, this is." I started a tickle war.

Shrieks, giggles "Since when [giggle laugh], stop it [smiling laughter], you're crazy [giggling and retaliating], I'll get you."

I was too fast, too strong, and too calculating for her to have any chance of winning. So I let her win.

Laughter and concentration on controlling where her eyes were able to accidentally peek and where her hands were allowed to safely search for tickle spots, had the effect of fooling my cock clowns; they thought a rival comedy act had stolen their audience so they took the tent pole down.

I was controlling the war so easily and I knew the mind of my prey so well, that other games were played within the game.

I kept up the Danno routine - occasionally losing character and slipping into the role of the Daleks from Dr Who "Resistance is useless, resistance is useless" - because I knew that I had to take any thoughts of her son from her mind, she had to see me as the playful teasing lover that Rick was not and that she had written so often about.

I'd give Rick the pRick, with the pin-prick dick The goodbye flick, for any man that's quick To put a smile on the face Of this old chick

I made sure that all my talking, touching and tickling was tender (moms four Ts'). And I tested the buttons on the bodice mom was wearing. I undid the bottom of the five buttons with the deftness of a safe cracker. I was certain mom had no idea that her son had started undressing her.

I let Mom drop me on the bed, sitting across my chest; both of her hands were buried warningly into my armpits "Give?"

"I concede I concede, you have bested me fair lady."

"Fair lady? So, I'm not a suspect any more? I'm off the hook?"

"Well I didn't exactly say that. There is still this." I had my hands on her waist, fingers of each hand meeting in the centre and on the fourth button down. I held in my palms the edges of the already undone lace, tugging lightly. "We have reason to believe that this could be illegally over-sexy and holds the power to send men wild. We'll have to confiscate it for forensic testing" said Danno as I undid the fourth button.

"You're crazy" she laughed, and then "stop it, you are a real terror." She lightly slapped at the hands of a lover who was now teasingly undoing the third button.

"Aha, fell for the old button routine eh" said Danno sounding more like Maxwell Smart. Mom's hands were no longer in my armpits as a threat to keep her tickle war opponent captive. I rolled her over in a single move and reversed our positions.

"No fair no fair, you conceded" she said in between giggles and struggles.

"All's fair in love and war." I had undone that third button as she was tapping at my hands and the return to tickles was just a diversionary tactic to try and keep up the illusion that everything might be a harmless game.

My victory was swift and I gave her no retaliatory favours. She submitted quickly and was breathing deep and fast from the exertion. I was squatting above her and leaned in close to her face "You are so much fun;" inches from moms face, eyeball to eyeball, when she made eye contact I let her watch my eyes move slowly down to her lips only an inch away from my own, very briefly lingering the view there "so much fun to be with" and then rolling my eyes back to see hers still watching.

I rolled off to be lying beside her, never moving my face more than a few inches from hers. "Phew, this tickling is heavy work, good exercise" I said feigning the same exhaustion she was under, as though I needed to lie down and recover my breath. I did something as I moved into position. I briefly put one of my knees on the bed as though it was a necessary part of the move. Where I put that knee was between moms own knees as she lay on her back. Her knees moved apart to let mine find a spot on the bed for balance. As I rolled from there to be lying beside her, my knee slipped out slightly and pushed moms further apart. I glanced and saw mom kept her legs apart as I lay beside her.

She on her back, me lying on my side beside her, mom and I chatted as we recovered. Our faces so close you couldn't pick out all the features to know who you were looking at, eyes smiling at each other, my small talk directed to exploit knowledge from her magazines, small compliments, targeted observations her heart would relate to, my arm across her resting on her left hip, at one point her hand moving to stroke a loose hair from my cheek, my eyes watching her lips as mine (only an inch away) whispered "Thank you."

I saw her eyes watching mine. There was a question in hers. I could see that she wasn't quite sure what that question was. She followed my eyes down to her lips so near, followed them back up to meet hers, I saw her eyes ask that question they weren't sure of, saw her eyes then move down softly, questioningly, to my lips, back to ask my eyes if they could interpret the question. I took my hand off her hip and returned the favour to gently stroke the fingers that had touched my cheek "Your fingers are so warm."

I also didn't know what her questioning eyes were asking; were they asking if I was about to kiss, were they asking if she could kiss me, did they want a kiss, were they suddenly realising that her son may have other than harmless tickle fun in mind and were they wondering how to politely but forcefully reject a sons incorrect advances? Because I had no idea what the question was, and because I still couldn't convince myself that my mother would accept any sexually advances from her son, I reverted to the safe territory of the arresting officer game plan (a game plan that might not have me fucking my mother but might, with an awful lot of luck, have the arresting officer fucking her).

I moved my hand back to her hip, but this time to the one nearest me – the right. "So are you ready to come down the station for questioning or do we have to send an investigating officer down for a look?"

I was surprised by how quickly she got back into character after what seemed such a tender moment. Perhaps she was also feeling more comfortable in the pretend world of games or perhaps I was mistaken and there was no moment at all.

"You'll never take me alive copper." She caught me by surprise a second time in the same moment by going for a 2-1 victory in tickle wars.

My hand on her right hip had been toying with the button on the side of her panties, feeling the loop and its bond around the button, testing it for future reference. When she attacked my armpits for a tickle, it caused me to accidentally; honestly Sarge it was an accident I didn't really mean it; undo the button.

I decided to end the final war even more quickly and decisively than the second. It was a move I had thought of using to end the second but simply forgot in the laughter of the melee. I pulled quickly at the sash around the robe I was wearing, I pulled so fast and sharp that I could feel a warm rope burn through the cloth as it un-circled my body. With the sash rope in my hand I grabbed at moms left hand; as expected she gripped the rope and followed it as I pulled it above her head. Somehow afraid that losing her grip would mean losing the game; mom reached up with her other hand to take a supporting grip. With the sash rope firmly in both hands and fighting to hang on, it was a matter for me to hog tie the rest of the rope in fast loops around her hands. By the time she realised what I was doing, both of mom's hands were loosely tied at the wrists and held above her head. With my strength and position, it was easy for me to hold her there with my left hand.

So, there was me and my mom on the bed. Mom flat on her back, hands tied above her head and no real hope of struggling free without my allowing it, mom naked under a black lace bodice with all but 2 of the 5 buttons undone, and in black panties that at a glance still appeared fully in tact but were actually 50% off. And there was me, on my side beside my mother, my right arm and hand fully free to do whatever they wanted, me naked under a bath robe that would be fully open at the front if pushed aside, and an army of cock clowns very rapidly hauling up the centre pole of the main tent. I still wasn't sure what moms mind was thinking but mine, under the override control of my cock clowns, was coming to the conclusion that this was the point of no return. I would rape mom from here if I had to.