Teaching Mum to Drive

The immediate effect of a sunny, early spring day in England is something akin to one of those Disney movies where everyone and everything has been held in suspended, frozen animation until, with a flick of the wrist, the spell is released. Of a sudden it's a world in full technicolor, everyone is laughing, the public parks are strewn with half-naked bodies lapping up the rays, women are strolling around in skimpy dresses and the cafés have taken full advantage and dragged their tables out onto the sidewalk. Life is fun again and there's everything to look forward to.

My mum seemed to have been infected by this new lust for life as well, and just this morning had dragged me out early to drive her up into town where she had shopping to do. With a glint in her eye she had emphasized

shopping.

Now

shopping

is not for provisions,

shopping

is for trawling the boutiques, trying on and rejecting shiploads of clothes, experimenting with newly-discovered scents, and discovering whether a diet through the cold winter months had succeeded or not, so that she too might burst out into the world like a newly-formed butterfly.

That is why we'd made a generous estimate of four or five hours before meeting up so I could drive her home. I didn't mind, I had my university work to do, and so a coffee with my books, seated at one of those tables on the sidewalk was no big deal.

I wasn't immune to spring-fever either though, and I was frustratingly well aware it had been quite a while since I'd had a girlfriend. So, with such a parade of feminine wares constantly to-ing and fro-ing, I was totally distracted and in the end simply closed my books, ordered another coffee and settled in to watch the free show. And what a show... asses wiggled, bosoms jiggled, hips swayed and whole expanses of flesh were displayed... I was in love with the entire female of the species.

Even this pair of cougars loaded down with fashion bags, curling towards my table. I thought I recognized one. She was a pal of my mum from work at the local Health Centre. I hadn't seen her in a while and at first glance I didn't recognize her so casually dressed. Her mate was the one who attracted my attention though, in a creamy light dress that was low-cut and figure-hugging at the top and splaying out around the bottom, emphasizing the succulent motion of her hips probably accentuated by those killer heels. Her hair had blond highlights set into it and it fell lusciously in waves down across the spaghetti straps to her bare shoulders. She was laughing in agreement at something her friend had said, her eyes twinkling, and they barely threw a glance in my direction as they undulated past this gawky guy, probably sitting there with his mouth wide open, the cup halfway to his lips. Phew...

Their subtle perfume lingered pleasantly in my nostrils, probably because I sensed they'd come to a stop behind me and were giggling at some joke or other. Scraps of their whispering came to me...

"He didn't..."

"I told you, didn't I...?"

Then Mum's friend had turned back and was standing in front of me again, grinning widely.

"Hi, we just passed by and I thought I recognized you. Jamie, isn't it? Jean's son? I'm Dianne, I work with Jean down at the Health Centre?"

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry," I scrambled to stand up. "I thought it was you, but, you know, without the uniform..."

"Oh, right - different clothes, different persona haha..." She glanced up and winked across to her friend.

"Er, would you like a coffee? My mum's in town and should be back any time now. Maybe..."

I was out of my league. This woman who was looking me up and down as though I was her next meal was experience in stiletto heels. I was just another notch on her musket. She was the Cleopatra to my little asp. I might get a nibble, but I'd die in the process.

"Well I'm in a bit of a rush, but I think my friend here might like to keep you company..."

Her friend came out from behind me and stretched out her hand.

"Hello. Jamie, is it?"

I clasped her smooth hand.

"Yes, I..."

I stopped. She was beaming. Her cheeks were like apples to either side of her broad laugh, her white, regular teeth all the whiter for their dark frame of lipstick; her neck all the longer for the scooped neckline and twinkling pendant lying in the valley between her breasts; her breasts all the more entrancing for the amount of flesh on show.

"I... I... wow."

"Well, I'll leave you two to it then, shall I? See you later then, Jean." She leant over and they exchanged kisses on the cheek. "You too, Jamie, 'bye..."

With that she grinned at the two of us and, to Jean, my mum, mimicked a call on the phone as she sauntered away.

"You can let go of my hand now, Jamie." She smiled. "If you want to, that is..."

"I don't... I don't..."

Only a few hours ago my bespectacled mum had waved me a cheery goodbye and strolled off, in jeans, blouse and useful shoes, her mousy-colored hair pulled tightly back into a severe bun, into the crowd and vanished immediately, her nondescript frame blending seamlessly into the jostle of people.

Now, out of that crowd, had appeared this, this vision, this goddess... and I still held her hand.

I must have seemed like one of those ventriloquist's dummies, wide-eyed and vaguely stupid, my mouth opening and closing but nothing actually coming out. So Mum put down her bags, reached out with her free hand and placed one finger over my lips.

"Get me a coffee and let's talk."

I did, and we sat opposite one another at the table. I hadn't taken my eyes off her even when ordering the coffee.

"You don't have to look so stunned, it's me..."

"How can I not look stunned? I mean, you're...stunning..."

She blushed. "Why, thank you for that."

"What's with the...?" I made circles around my eyes.

"Contacts. I thought I'd give 'em a shot and they're very comfortable. I'm just sorry I didn't try them earlier, but then, you know..."

I did know. As a family we'd been in limbo for the past eighteen months or so since Dad had passed away. We'd made the necessary adjustments over that time - I'd transferred my courses back to the local university instead of the other side of the country so that I could help Mum from home and be there for her. We'd downsized the car from the 4x4 to a secondhand Ford Focus and Mum had taken a job at the Health Centre.

So, that first winter we'd just been numb. Come the summer we'd constructed our new reality, and sometime during this last winter, apparently Mum had decided to face the future head-on instead of simply surviving.

"Mum, I've got to say it again, you're gorgeous."

"But I'm still your mum."

She'd dipped her head in an effort to make contact with my eyes which had been focused more on her significant bosom than on her face. She smiled as I found it my turn to blush.

"So I take it you approve? With bits of me at least..." She said that with a laugh, thank heavens.

"Of course I approve! Not that you need my permission of course... I'm happy that you're happy." My rampant tool certainly seemed overjoyed.

"Mmm, yeah, that's what Phil said..."

"Phil?"

"He's a consultant over at the Centre, deals with trauma and stuff - it's not all broken bones and flu jabs over there you know. Anyway, he said that my being happy would rub off on those around me. And I can see you're happy..."

"So you've got a Doctor Phil as an adviser?"

"Haha. Yeah. A bit younger and a lot more hair though...

and

dishy with it too."

"Oh, I see, so you two are an item then?"

"Mmm... purely professional at the moment, but if I play my cards right..."

And, I don't believe it, she puckered her lips at me and jiggled her front. I must have turned crimson at that, because she laughed out loud.

"Sorry love, I'm a bit out of practice at the seduction bit..."

"Umm, believe me, you've got nothing to learn..."

We both laughed at that, but then mum's face took on a more serious aspect and she leant over towards me, grasping her coffee cup in both hands. I was a bit distracted because I thought one of her tits was going to dip into the coffee and I'd get to see her already flimsy dress turn transparent...

"... more independent, I need to be able to come and go whenever I want..."

"Er, what? Sorry, independent? You mean you're throwing me out?"

"No, silly. I mean I don't want to have to rely on you all the time to go places - like today. I mean you've got better things to do than lug your old mum around everywhere."

"But I enjoy lugging my once ordinary but now scrumptious mum around everywhere ... it's good for my image, the girls'll think I'm really hot, managing to hook a looker like you..."

"Hooker? You think I'm dressed like a hooker?"

She looked down at the amount of bosom she was exposing.

"No mum - a 'looker' - 'hook a looker', not 'look like a hooker'..." I laughed. "I see the only ear treatment you had done was to get those fancy earrings..."

"You like 'em?" She swung her head from side to side and her hair lifted to show off the pear-drop rings glistening in the sun.

I leant back in the chair and took in the whole of her loveliness.

"Yeah, Mum, I like them. And I love the whole new you."

"Well good. Now, back to the independence bit..."

I sighed theatrically, "OK, OK, we'll drop the curfew thing and I'll let you stay out 'til midnight. One minute more though, and you'll turn back into... what you were before."

"Alright, fine. But in keeping with your Cinderella scenario, I want to be able to play with your pumpkin..."

"What?" All sorts of lewd pictures flitted through my mind.

"The Focus. I want you to teach me to drive it."

"Oh. Oh... er, am I allowed to do that?"

"Yeah, I checked it out. If you've had your license over three years, all we need is..." and she bent over into one of her bags, "these."

She planted a couple of 'L' plates onto the table.

"I can't really afford the expense of a driving school. It'd take me ages to pass, now I've got these blonde highlights..."

I looked at her blankly.

"Blondes? Dizzy blondes? It's a joke."

I suddenly got it, and the two of us laughed together. It was real laughter, not the stuff where you're just going through the motions so as not to embarrass the other.

We were still laughing and chatting happily when we finished and got up to leave, I took Mum's bags, and she sauntered off ahead of me back towards the car. This was my first opportunity to size her up from behind. Had she always had that gorgeous shape? Her buttocks swayed lusciously and the flimsiness of the material let me glimpse the small white triangle of her panties beneath, barely covering her cheeks. Her waist was slim and her hair flowed teasingly down her back, bouncing lightly with each step she took in those heels. Oh God, she was hot. I just thanked heaven I was carrying these large bags which served an extra purpose in covering my hard-on. To one side I caught the glance of a young fellow walking parallel to us. His gaze was also fixed on my mum's ass bobbing in front of him. He must have sensed me watching him and grinned, indicating my mum's ass and miming a 'wow, cor...!' I resisted the temptation to thump him one, probably because I silently agreed with his assessment. I glanced to the other side of me where some old geezer was wiping his spectacles and replacing them in order to get a better look.

Mum turned to glance over her shoulder.

"Oh, there you are, I thought I'd lost you." And she linked one of her arms through mine. The young fellow's eyes opened wide, and I grinned at him as though to say, 'you can look, mate, but she's all mine...'

Reaching the car, we stowed everything into the back seat and got in, me for the time-being still in the driver's seat. I turned to Mum, while trying to keep my eyes away from her legs, where her skirt had ridden up to mid-thigh showing a glimpse of, what was that, stocking tops?

"Well I guess you'll want to start learning as soon as possible then?" Concentrate, Jamie. Don't, whatever you do, don't look down at her breasts, don't gawp at her legs... I was all business. Yeah, right.

She bit her bottom lip anxiously. "I guess so. Time and tide, and all that... Maybe you should tell me what some of the dials and things are? Like, what's that?"

So much for concentration. She reached across to point at a feature, and I used the opportunity to glance quickly into her dress and file away the lovely picture of her breasts slung in their frilly white hammock, to be used in instant replay the first chance I got.

"That's the cigarette lighter, but neither of us smokes..."

"Not yet. Just wait till you've taken me out a few times, we'll both be chain-smoking by then..."

We both smiled.

"Look, maybe just watch me as I drive, and you can ask me anything you like?"

"Oh. OK, let's see, have you got a girlfriend at the moment?"

"Ask about driving!" I laughed.

She knew I hadn't had a girlfriend since Jenny, whom I'd got to know when studying down south. We'd tried to keep up the relationship when I'd returned home, but, what with it being so long-distance, and what with Friday night student bashes serving to undermine it, it had eventually fizzled out. Nowadays studying was the most important thing for me. Well, I'd thought it was until spring had arrived...

I sighed, "No, Mum."

"You should. You're a handsome lad. If I was twenty years younger I'd be all over you." She was looking me straight in the eye, reached over and stroked through my hair.

"You didn't see the bloke walking behind us when you took my arm. He thought we were a pair. He was dead jealous."

"Really?" she grinned.

"Yeah, and there was an old codger on the other side and we made his specs steam up..."

Mum thumped me lightly on the shoulder. "Dopey." But we were laughing, the two of us.

"Let's see then. Alright, gears. You always start off in neutral...this is neutral... you know what? Put your hand over mine as I drive and we can go through the gears together..."

And so it was that we drove all the way home with my hand on the gear-stick and the vision's hand covering mine, not releasing it even when I had to transfer it to the steering wheel to make a turn. I don't know, but it was like there was an electric current between us. Maybe it was the gentle hum of the motor being transferred through the stick, or maybe it was her fingers playing a tune on the back of mine, occasionally squeezing while she was looking at me, but, to tell the truth, it was the most erotic sensation I'd felt in a long, long time. So erotic, in fact, that, arriving home, I excused myself and leapt up the stairs three at a time and into the bathroom, where I just had to relieve the tension in my pants. I closed my eyes and relived those moments of seeing the rise of her breasts, her swaying ass with the triangle of panty, those legs, those stocking tops - ohhhh... I opened my eyes again to find myself opposite the mirror, my jeans round my ankles, my pants round my knees and my engorged cock in my hand... and streams of cum halfway up the glass. I wiped it off, all the while thinking how insane this was - but the picture of her was now so deeply embedded in my mind that there was no denying that I had become totally infatuated - with my mum.

The rest of our day was spent mainly with me sat at the dining table trying my best to look studious with a pile of course books. Naturally I placed the books in such a way that I had only to glance up and to one side to take in my mum's curvy body lying spread out on the couch with her feet up, having removed her heels and allowing her dress to rise up again to those stocking tops. No suspenders. Hold-ups. She, however, seemed to be engrossed in her own book, occasionally reaching down to scratch her leg above her stocking, and...

"You've been on that one page a long time. You got to a hard bit?"

But her gaze still seemed to be concentrated on her own book. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Were these magic contact lenses? Could it be that they could see straight through into my brain and know what I was thinking?

"Er, yeah, it's very hard..." I was actually referring to my dick, but...

She looked up and held my gaze.

"You want some help from a dumb blonde?"

"Only if you know anything about chemistry."

"What's to know? I mean, it's only like me cooking in the kitchen. You mix a few ingredients together, and if they all get along you come out with a satisfactory conclusion and a tasty meal." She shrugged her shoulders and looked back at her book, a saucy Romance. Then, "They say love's like that. In this one the author even talks about 'Love's Chemistry'..."

"You mean put the two together and see what happens?"

"Yup. All sparks and firecrackers..."

"And heat burning uncontrollably..."

"Until they become as one..."

"And fuse..."

"And it all boils over..."

"Then you've got to wipe it all up..."

"And start all over again..."

We both laughed then returned to our own books.

---------------------------------

The next morning, after a restless night punctuated by frequent erotic dreams, I came downstairs, disheveled, to breakfast.

"Mum, there's a problem. I went on the computer last night to find out about driving tests."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it turns out you've got to pass your theory test first, so I can't take you out till you've passed that."

"That's Ok, I've passed it already."

"When was that?"

"A couple of weeks ago. You think I just sit here watching the telly while you're up there on your computer studying and probably ogling porn?"

I raised an eyebrow. She smiled.

"The good news is that now I've got two years in which to pass the practical test, and," she passed a hand through her hair, "even a blonde should be able to do that..."

"I think you'll pass first time, Mum, I mean, look at you..." I was doing just that while at the same time popping bread into the toaster, "You're the deadliest combination - intelligent and beautiful..." pause for a reaction - a hesitant smile, "If you make a mistake, your irresistible charm'll kick in and you'll just seduce the examiner."

"Oh, really? And what if the examiner's a woman, you sexist pig?" a bigger smile on her face.

"Then just discuss sexist pigs with her in that same tone of voice, jump into the back seat to engage in a bit of lesbian sex and you stroll away with all your boxes ticked..." I leant into the fridge for the butter and marmalade, "Oh, and if you want tips on lesbian sex, there's a good website on my computer upstairs..." I jumped as the dishcloth whipped across my backside.

"Ow."

Over coffee and toast we discussed our plans for the day.

"I thought maybe we'd go out Cranford way, there's that disused airstrip over there. Lots of learners go there for the basics before daring to go out on the road."

"Oh yeah, I've heard of that. Isn't it a place to go and make out in the evenings, like a drive-in movie just without the movie...?"

"Yeah, that's the place...umm, so I've heard..."

Mum smiled at me broadly over her coffee cup.

"Well if you don't know, then maybe that's another reason for checking it out...for your future reference of course..."

She winked and took a sip from her cup and said,

"Alright then, let me just whip upstairs and get changed ..."

She was wearing an old, pretty, flowered dress that she usually wore around the house because it was so simple to wear, just slipped it over her head and that was it.

"Why? You can go like that, I mean no-one's going to see you. Even if they did, you'd wow their socks off just like yesterday..."