I met her in the supermarket.
I was in the "ladies area" trying to decide what to get for myself- wings, no wings, regular, super so many choices and for my eighteen year old who had the pip with me and was having a quiet time sulking in the car with her i-pod while her horrible mother did the shopping. This lady was in her late twenties short and quite petite with brown eyes and auburn hair. She wore jeans and a lowish cut top. She was very pretty and I was captivated-I don't mind guys but I do prefer girls. I caught her as I was looking round- having thought we also needed talcum powder and trying to see where it was- and although my head moved round a little more my eyes zeroed in on her and stayed locked on-I tried to look away but I couldn't.
She became aware of me looking at her and briefly looked back. A confused look came over her face and she looked up at me again. Finally she said," Yes?"
"Oh God, sorry, I was, um, I was staring at you wasn't I?"
That broke the ice a little and she smiled and nodded.
"Oh sorry, that was so rude of me, its just, um, and I know you must hear this all the time, but you're just so incredibly pretty."
'Really? No I don't hear that all the time. I haven't heard it in a long time. Do you think so?"
" Oh God yes, ooh, where are my manners? Um Jocelyn," and I put my hand out to her. She took it and answered,
"Tara."
So there I was shaking hands with a lady I had just met. There was something about her. Oh pretty, no question but the expression on her face while I had been looking at her had captivated me. She had looked worried, anxious and I wondered what pretty girls ever got to make them unhappy - the same as everyone else I suppose but they should smile and brighten up our days while we go and sulk. Always seemed fair to me. There I go again off at a tangent. Where was I? Oh yes, her expression, as I said anxious and its effect on me was to make me feel very protective.
I went to let go but she held on. Just for a bit then, realizing what she was doing, she let go too - almost jerking her hand away. I reached for her hand again and having taken it in my right hand, moved into her space so we were barely a foot apart, brought our hands up so her hand was against my breast and put my other hand on her shoulder.
Looking into her eyes I asked, "Are you OK?"
I knew she wasn't but it was up to her to say. She waited before she answered and I could see her trying to think of something to say.
It wasn't my intention to torment her so I broke the silence.
"I get the feeling you're not. Am I right?"
That did it, tears formed in this pretty lady's eyes, she nodded and the pretty face disintegrated into a distraught one. I put her hand on my waist and then brought my hand round to her back and pulled her into me. She buried her face in my shoulder and I could feel her shuddering as she sobbed. We stood there as other shoppers steered their trolleys past us, had a discreet look and moved on. We just rocked back and forward as I hugged her and she gripped me and shook.
She was very nice to hug I must say but eventually she pulled her head back and gave the usually "sorry, don't know what came over me" apology that you offer in those situations.
"What are you sorry for?" I asked, "Something is wrong, perhaps lots of things. Perhaps I can help, and I will if I can I can promise you that and maybe I can't but it won't be for want of trying."
I'm good at these inspirational speeches- I practice on my daughter, with no success at all so far. Tara just had a shopping basket and I'd had enough shopping for the day- we'd get KFC tonight, that was a crucial part of my daughter's food pyramid- along with MacDonald's and Burger King.
"Much more to get?" I asked.
"No, I've just got ten dollars on me so this will have to do."
I I sneaked a look in her basket. She had bought the house brand tampons, budget spaghetti, budget bread, a small black teabags packet and a one liter budget milk.
We went to a checkout and she went through first. Eleven dollars twenty three. She looked panic stricken and was looking to put something back. I put the item she was returning back in the bag and handed the Checkout girl a twenty.
"Must have left your money in your other purse Tara," I said to her for the girl's benefit.
"Oh, oh um yes, must have." She came up with -completely undoing my face saving effort.
The girl smiled at me as she handed me my change and started on my purchases. Tara had moved a little way away and I motioned for her to stay there.
"That was a lovely thing you did there," the girl said quietly," she comes in a bit and she hardly has any money but she does her best and she's always so polite."
I nodded, smiled back at her and went over to Tara.
"Is your car here or are you on foot," I asked her.
"On foot. But it isn't far, honestly."
"It is to my place. Too far to walk that's for sure." I replied firmly.
She looked at me.
"You're coming to my place, OK? Wanna argue? Wanna fight?"
She smiled for me again and said, "no."
My daughter had finished sulking and was now impatient to get home so she could go on face book and tell the world what a hard life she was leading when her mother and a strange lady came walking towards the car hand in hand. She got out and went round to my side to pop the hatch and met us at the rear of the vehicle. I smiled at her and brought Tara forward.
"Tara this is my daughter, Bonnie. Bonnie, Tara"
They shook hands and moved on in for a hug- hey its the girlie way isn't it?
"Tara's coming home with us - would you mind hopping in the um, in the back sweetheart?"
"Sure Mom," she replied "Sorry Tara I'll just get my junk out of there."
She gathered her possessions, or "stuff" as she liked to call it and hopped in the back. She didn't put the ear phones back in her ears. I held the door for Tara and she got in looking very nervous.
We stopped off at KFC and I bought our dinners. Bonnie, being eighteen and perpetually hungry, hoed into her three piece quarter pack- with extra seasoning- while Tara held hers and mine on her lap. I could see she was ravenous and said, with an encouraging smile. "you can start on yours if you like."
She shook her head, "I can wait."
So she did. Bonnie had finished hers. She took her rubbish inside (another first) and put it in the trash can. She then waved bye and went off to her bedroom. She was giving us some space. I set to carrying the shopping bags to the kitchen. I took three bags and headed in through the door to the hallway. Tara had the drinks holder in one hand and the food in the other and followed me in.
I showed her where the plates and glasses were, appointed her KFC server upper and went out and got the last of the groceries, including hers.
She was already at the table and I joined her. We sat at one corner, both sitting sideways eating our KFC. After a time I reached over and took her hand in mine.
"You can tell me now, or later, or sometime or never," I said," its up to you."
She gave me a sad little smile and looked away.
"I can't fix what's broken but -and I was thinking about this on the way home - I can offer you a new start. If you like. Do you think you might?"