On Wednesday, Stephanie spent most of her time in school attending her classes, but really thinking about her experiences with her sister and what was bound to happen today.
She couldn't bring herself to think of their plan as a date, even if she was as anxious about it as any date she had in the past. She remembered Emily's words, that they are not in love and not a couple. Emily was right, Stephanie knew what being in love felt like and this wasn't it. At least not exactly like it. She was just going out with her big sister. She knew she'd have a good time, like she always did with Emily. It wasn't a date.
Her past relationships were different in that she never really knew the guy she was with. She always idolized them, and sooner rather than later she ended up being disappointed. What she had with her sister was so different she couldn't even compare the experiences. Emily was just there for her, always and unconditionally.
And if their newest argument from two days ago told her something, it was that they were still normal siblings. They were similar in many ways and they still competed with each other, fought one another. And like always, in the end they apologized and made up, because inside there was something between them. She also had similar fights with her past boyfriends, but that deeper connection just wasn't there then.
Stephanie just couldn't wrap her head around the whole situation with Emily, to figure out what was happening or what she wanted to happen. She was never good at resolving issues just by thinking and she probably wouldn't be able to do it now. It would help to have someone to talk it over with, to reflect her thoughts off of. Emily had Sam, but Stephanie didn't dare to bring it up with her own friends.
There was also that uneasiness, that conflict her mind brought up the moment the teen tried to view her sister as someone to hook up with. On some level, she felt like things weren't supposed to be like this, that her big sister wasn't supposed to view her in a sexual way, or do sexual things to her. Their encounter at the club was breathtaking, but no one could really blame them for what they did. What happened this Saturday was different. It felt amazingly good and she wanted it at that time, but looking back, in a way it was very wrong. A big sister should be protective and supportive, she should not masturbate her to orgasm.
On some level, Stephanie couldn't help feeling like they made a mistake. In a dark corner of her mind, she even asked herself if the older girl took advantage of Stephanie. Everything she knew about Emily told her that wasn't the case. Was it possible that the lonely 20 year old would do such a thing subconsciously? But they both wanted it. Stephanie was sure she wanted it.
Two days ago, Emily confessed she was scared, but the whole thing scared the teen just as much. After Emily's calm offer to go out she was probably even more scared than the older girl. Before then, when Stephanie wanted to be with Emily, she had the control. Emily's previous resistance was a comforting barrier, keeping Stephanie safe in case she decided she wanted things to stop. But now it felt like that was slipping from her.
Sill, Saturday with Emily was wonderful. Their trip to the park, an intimate art session and especially what happened after lights out. Back then, she was simply happy.
These thoughts, both good and bad came throughout the day. The sisters had agreed to return home from school, get ready and go out then. But by the time she left school, Stephanie was about ready to cancel their plans.
--
Emily was sitting sprawled in the living room sofa, idly watching TV.
Really though, she was waiting for her sister. Just like Stephanie, she spent most of the day rehearsing what they'd do and say once school was over. Emily was surprisingly calm though, willing to let the chips fall where they may.
She heard the door and unconsciously sat up. She didn't even realize that she wanted to look her best as she straightened her back and stuck out her chest.
"Hi," Stephanie greeted her with a brief glance as she entered the room.
"Hi," Emily smiled at her.
Stephanie dropped her bag next to the couch and sat down to the 20 year old's left, still in school clothes - jeans and yellow T-shirt with stylized black emblem on the front.
A few seconds later, she slowly said, "Em, I was thinking about today-"
Emily noticed the murky tone.
She turned the volume down and looked at her sister, "You don't want to go?"
"I guess I'm just a bit scared of this," Stephanie confessed uneasily.
"That's not like you, Steph," Emily said, concerned, "Is there any way I can help?"
"Tell me it's going to be OK," Stephanie suggested.
"Steph, nothing's going on," Emily smiled, shook her head and shrugged, "I just wanted to check out the new amusement park and didn't want to go alone. We can go another time if you don't feel like it now. Or I can take Sam."
Stephanie smiled gently, "I'd like to go to that park."
She seemed really relieved now, but Emily still felt like she was persuading her sister to do something she didn't want.
"You know you can say no, and I'd understand, right?" Emily continued, "It wouldn't mean anything."
"Nothing?" Stephanie asked jokingly, "It's starting to sound like you want me to say no."
"Of course. Why would I want you to say yes?" Emily said, lifting her hands and shaking her head in a theatrical way.
"Because I'm awesome?" the teen smiled.
"OK, you got me, that's true," Emily replied, nodding her head.
Stephanie couldn't hold back a happy chuckle.
"Well, say what you want, I'm not letting you off the hook so easily," Stephanie stuck out her tongue and stood up quickly, "Let's get ready."
--
Stephanie couldn't stop giggling as she devoured the delicious cotton candy, her left arm linked with Emily's right.
They were walking down the main pathway of the park, her gaze wandering between the kiosks on both sides. It was already getting dark but the whole park was lit up brightly. Colors, sounds and smells were attacking their senses from all sides.
For once, she wasn't the only one of them to be like this. First they went to ride the bumper cars, smashing into everyone, each other especially, then devising collaborative tactics to smash into the cars of the two guys who tried to literally hit on the two cute girls. After the ride, it was unilaterally decided that the girls won the fight and the two guys were not worth hanging out with.
Afterwards, Emily suggested to relax on a small ferris wheel, only to be shot down by the teen with allegations of being a boring grandma. Stephanie of course wanted to ride the main attraction, a giant frisbee pendulum seating more than 30 people. After a lot of begging and more than a bit of suggestive pinching, the 20 year old agreed, and the girls spent almost all of their remaining cash on the monster ride.