I have a daughter who has a happy married life. She and her husband wanted a child but due to medical condition she could not conceive. They had gone through treatment in vain and one viable alternative is through surrogate motherhood. She is my daughter and I offered to help them carry their child through in-vitro fertilization program. I wanted her to have a child and experience a warm connection with her child like I had with her. I offered to be surrogate mother to daughter who had a radical hysterectomy due to cervical cancer. Before the surgery, doctor had harvested and stored her eggs. After a process that included psychological evaluation and hormonal manipulation to prepare me, doctor implanted my uterus with an embryo created with egg and sperm from them.
The thought of not being able to have children just broke my heart. Initially I had worries I couldn't carry to full term. The doctor assured me I was a fertile woman and perfectly able to conceive a baby naturally myself. I worried about the physical toll pregnancy might take on my body. I wondered how well I'd bounce back after giving birth.
But everything did not turn out well. After numerous IVF implants I was still unable to conceive. Daughter's eggs were not healthy. Though fertilized by her husband's sperm could not take on life in my womb. They were devastated. I wanted so much to bring a joy to them but unsuccessful. This is a continuation of everything that I had done my entire life for her, which is to make sure that she has the best life possible. But I never gave up and continue to undergo IVF hoping doing it often might be successful. They were beginning to lose hope as the cost was high.
My daughter was upset she could not fulfill being a mother. I could only console and comfort her with words. I tried to help but in vain. I got her interested in some outdoor activities and taking a positive outlook. As both had hectic work schedules and travel, it added stress to her and affected her health thus her fertility too. Her husband went on business trips frequently so I moved in to stay with them to keep her company.
We went out shopping, concerts, movies and other activities to divert her thinking of the issue. Meanwhile I continued with the IVF with the remaining embryos. I wanted to do my best for them though the chance appeared slim. As days gone by, life more or less got back to routine. She seemed less stressful, went about her work and business travel. I would spend time with her; occasionally together with her husband we would take driving trips to the country side. I knew she still thought about having a baby though seldom mentioned that. We left it at that.
They got back to their routine life. I still went for the IVF. I didn't quite like it as it was cold clinical process. So many failures led me to disappointment. However, it was her only hope. The medicine she was taking and work had a toll on her health. We were hopeful it would go into remission and she is healthy again.
Often three of us would go out and had a great time wining, dining and dancing. He would dance with me to the fast beat or slow music holding my hand and waist. It was all fun to pass time away. It made me felt young. My daughter felt tired easily. She would sit watching us dancing after a few dances. Things got onto a good start. It was a sensational feeling dancing with my son-in-law. He was most gentleman without doubt, barely touching me besides holding my arms, held my gaze for a couple of seconds respectfully without being too imposing as we whirled on the dance floor. We had never got that close before. I felt a thrilling sensation by his touch and holding my hands.
I didn't get close to a man since my divorce though I went on casual dates with no long lasting affair. The outing got me into a socializing mood again enjoying a man's attention. I felt apprehensive with restrain as he was my son-in-law. I didn't delve over it telling myself I mustn't get overboard emotionally. Maybe he was polite without too much implication. Anyway peoples hold each other while dancing I thought. No big deal though I felt edgy. I let the matter rest as we continue with our lives trying to make my daughter as comfortable as possible and ease her from thinking about her illness.
Somehow as we went out more often in threesome to take her mind off her illness there were opportunities to trend closer. He appeared more attentive to both of us. When we danced slow romantic songs, he would hold my waist tight as we glided slowly on the dance floor, often brushing his cheek on mine. I thought it was unintentional our cheeks contacted. It happened too many times to think he did it on purpose touching my cheek with his. In time to come he would kiss me most gentlemanly lightly on my lips at the end of the dance.
I couldn't help feeling swooned over by his action. Maybe I was too sensitive or I have not had a man's attention for quite some time. I reasoned I was his mother-in-law and his behavior was quite normal and not too invasive. I hope my daughter didn't see the intimate action as we danced. We were happy going and time spent together enjoyable. I was happy my daughter accepts her illness and understands my effort in encouraging her to be positive. The only concern I had was I couldn't conceive using her embryo. I continued with the IVF hopefully there was result but it was not to be.
We carried on with our jobs and spent whatever time together to liven up the atmosphere. Both of them travel quite often on business. At times either one or both were away. So quite often I was left with either of them in the house. It was alright staying with my daughter but different alone with my son-in-law. Somehow I felt he might be coming a bit close to me and I was uncomfortable. Being alone together in the house was a perfect environment for a simmering passion to burst up like a tinder-box if we did not restrain our emotion and behave wildly. I was afraid though I admitted I was flattered by his attention. Or I was sensitive and really nothing to worry about. I wanted to return to my home when daughter went overseas but she reasoned we could keep each other company. I didn't pay much attention to the matter and carried on normally.
Nothing untoward happened the few times we were alone in the house. He was quite a gentleman, driving me to and from work when possible. I would cook meals. On days I was tired, we went out for dinner. On weekend we had more time to chat and mostly on conceiving a baby. I was still game despite there was no positive result. I told him I would continue IVF and hopefully conceived. The doctor had told us I was healthy and could conceive. On occasion we dined out we would go to the lounge to relax and enjoyed the night dancing away. We would dance to fast music and slowed down to soft music into the night. The music and wine did get me into exciting mood. He would hold my hand and placed his other hand on my waist drawing me close as we glided on the dance floor. He would on occasions place his cheek on mine then tilted as if intentionally brushed my lips as we danced.
Somehow I enjoyed the way he held and smooch me. I felt an electrifying sensation running down my spine. It was a long time since I had such good time with a man. If only he was not my son-in-law, I would have thrown myself at him. I got awakened from my long celibacy. I knew I should control my emotion and suppressed any erotic feeling. I tried but the burning sensation surged through to my groin. I felt uncomfortable. I am a woman and there was a man holding me close to him. I merely behaved like any hot blooded woman. But for the sake of my daughter, I needed to keep an arm length before the surge became unbearable and uncontrollable and I did something regrettable.
We talked about the IVF and he expressed appreciation for my support as a surrogate mum. I told him love for daughter made me to volunteer for the role adding that love and support was a major part of our lives in our household. I gave unconditional love to both and he didn't need to thank me. Only disappointment bugged me. I didn't like the cold clinical IVF treatment but I didn't voice out to them. I endured for my daughter. Without success bothered me but I never gave up. I pressed on with the IVF since it was the only hope. He appeared touched leaning forward to hold my hands looking intensely in my eyes in a sober mood.
It was an emotional chat and as he left the table he came forward and pecked me on my cheeks lingering as if to smooch my lips but hesitated. If he did I didn't know how to react. I began to accept his attention as appreciation for my support to them. I was not apprehensive any more not forgetting I was his mother-in-law. He simply showed affection as son-in-law. I should be at ease in his presence. The atmosphere in the house with him alone was more relaxed after our openness.
My daughter got busier with work, traveling often leaving me and him alone. He did travel and most occasions I was with one of them fortunately. I went socializing less after I took on the surrogate mother role thinking fewer activities might help conceiving. I was less positive IVF could work as time ticked away without result. I had more open interaction with him and comfortable discussing matters affecting family. At times when we sat and talked he would touch my hands when he wanted to convey his opinion. I didn't feel uptight any more about his actions. Instead I tapped his hand at times to emphasize a matter. We carried on close terms as family did. I didn't feel he was paying unwanted attention on me. Just normal caring behavior by a son-in-law to his mother-in-law. There was less tension whenever he came before me. I won't feel awkward when he touched me.
I felt progressively we were drifting closer to a chummy relationship. I was beginning to have great feeling whenever with him. We spent time going to concerts, movies, enjoyed fine dining, dancing and healthy outdoor lifestyle walking, biking. It was never a dull moment. I always had things to occupy me and time to share with him when daughter was away on business trips. Likewise I enjoyed times with daughter together. She was more cheerful and I tried to bring back the positive attitude in life to her. I wanted the best for her. And a baby was her wish. I must do my best for her.
On one day a dramatic thing occurred. I thought I was alone in the house. I went to shower and came out covered with a towel carrying my soiled clothes to the washing machine. I dropped some walking along the hallway. I bent down to pick them when the towel slipped off and dropped as I stood up leaving me naked. I gasp seeing he appeared unexpectedly, picked up the towel to wrap me up, intentionally or otherwise brushed my breasts for a few seconds. It was far too long seconds to be unintentional. I was embarrassed he must have seen me nude then touched me. I felt ecstatically sensation, nipples hardened. Seeing me blushed he told me to relax, calm down, it was an accident, and he complimented me I had a nice figure I should be proud of. He apologized for taking a look at me naked unintentionally adding he was proud to have a beautiful mother-in-law. I stood there stumped as he hurried off to his room.
For the rest of the day we did not see each other to avoid further discomfort. At evening time he approached me offering to take me to dinner as an apology for causing the embarrass situation to me. To put him at ease I told him I accepted the offer and he already apologized. It was a small matter nothing to brood on. He was delighted I was not mad at him. We had a wonderful dinner. After we went to listen to music and danced as usual. As he held me dancing he said indeed I looked charmingly lovely. I felt more embarrassed at his flattering than being seen naked. Maybe he was merely being nice lest I was still mad at him. We had small talk leading to him wondering why I did not have a permanent relationship with a man. I replied simply I had yet to meet a nice man. I did go on dates and it led to nowhere. So I never bothered.
"Be natural and let things take its course. Come what may, everything happened for a reason," I added.
