Sucking Green Dick

"Why are you sucking on a cucumber, Aimee?"

"It's not a cucumber, Sarah."

Aimee was splashing around in the bathtub. I came closer for a better view. "It looks like a . . ."

"Right, a dick," Aimee replied, licking it from the base to the tip like a lollipop. Then she smirked wickedly.

"Where . . . uh . . . did you get that green dick?"

"Professor Lemieux. He suggested that I practice."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Aimee?" This girl could get under my skin faster than anyone I knew, and in more ways than one.

"I wish you wouldn't use profane language like that, Sarah. What would Reverend Nichols say? Why you've been going to his church with me for a couple months now."

Aimee, one of my sorority sisters and a devout Methodist, had indeed persuaded me to attend church with her. Well, her tongue did, and I'm not talking about the talking.

"Professor Lemieux is a pervert!" I snapped. "He's always trying to look down my blouse or up my skirt."

"So why don't you wear jeans like most everybody else?"

"That kind of defeats the purpose of going commando."

"You are the exhibitionist who likes to masturbate in public to see if anyone notices. Not me, I'd be too nervous to get off. Doesn't seem to bother you, though."

"Oh fuck you, Aimee."

"Okay."

"Huh."

"Yeah, do it. What you said." She tossed me the green dick. "Give me an earth-friendly orgasm. That dick is made from recycled plastic and metal. It's charged by turning the specially adapted key in its base. Four minutes of hand-turning gives you a half hour of intense vibrations. You really save money on new batteries!"

"I thought 'green dick' was a dude who is an environmental nut. Oh sure, I'll give this green dick a cheap thrill, but he might get all wet. Make that I know he will."

Aimee had removed her blouse and bra and leaned back in the bathtub and began to play with her nipples. "Jump in the tub and suck on my little boobies, Sarah, and then feed that big green dick to my hungry pussy."

She does have small breasts, but they are perfectly formed and her nipples are huge, relatively speaking, and puffy and pointy. I removed my clothing, got in the tub, and began to tweak and pinch Aimee's nipples, as I kissed her tenderly and nibbled her ears and neck. We began to rub our nipples against each other. I put one of her breasts in my mouth as I continued to pinch the other one. After a few minutes I switched to the other breast.

Aimee loves to run her fingers through my long red hair when I'm doing her, and pull it occasionally. I likewise love to play with her long blond hair, not to mention that little patch of peach fuzz between her legs. I began to finger her. She was really wet.

"Are you ready for something bigger than my finger, my sweet Aimee?"

"Oh yes, Sarah! Please! Give me some of that green dick!"

"Fuck you with it?"

"Uh . . . yeah. Do it!"

I spread her long lovely legs and slipped it inside her. She let out a loud groan.

"Do you like this, girlfriend? Do you like being fucked by a chick with a big green dick?"

"Oh yeah, I sure do! Turn on the vibrator!"

I did, and began to fuck her furiously, making sure her clit got plenty of teasing with the pulsating green dick.

"Oh God, I . . . I'm gonna . . . oh yeah . . ." she moaned over and over.

And then she exploded spasmodically as I rammed the green dick all the way inside her as I held her close, feeling her quiver all over against me.

After we cuddled for awhile she picked up the green dick and pushed me on my back and got on top. I came even faster than she did.

Totally exhausted, we both lay on our backs in the tub facing each other and began to talk.

"You know, Aimee, the good thing about a green dick is that it never cums before you do, unlike most frat rats."

"Very true, Sarah. Incidentally, speaking of giving the green dick a cheap thrill like you said, that's what Professor Lemieux would like us to do. With the emphasis on thrill and not cheap."

"What the fuck are you talking about? Dear Lord, the mindless drivel you spout pisses me off. We're not in church now, Aimee!"

"Let me give you a clue." She picked up the green dick and sucked on it, simulating a blow job. "Yum yum. For some strange reason this tastes just like your little honey box I ate Friday night after we watched that lesbian porn flick and got drunk."

"I need a bigger clue to figure this shit out."

"Professor Lemieux and a group of his fellow professors want our sorority to help them raise money for their pet Earth Day cause. They made a substantial bet with professors from other colleges in the area that our school will raise the most money."

"So what do we have to do?"

"Suck green dick."

I took the green dick from her and began to give it a blow job like she had done. "Yeah, but who is going to pay us to suck a green dick like this?"

Aimee told me the plan. And then she added, "All the sorority sisters get an 'A' in every class these professors teach. We also each get one of these green dicks. They cost $150 a piece!"

"We better borrow some wigs from Heather. I'm not convinced a little green mask will disguise our identities. I'll wear that blond wig of hers I like and you wear the black one. Those green dicks cost $150 a piece? Wow. Speaking of piece, I'm still horny," I grumbled.

"Thank God for green dick!" She grabbed it from me. "Get out of tub and get on the rug on all fours this time."

"Promise not to lick my other hole? The last time you did that, it tickled like crazy."

"Sarah, you begged me to stick my tongue in your little rose bud. And then you begged me to . . . do that bad word you say . . . to it. Unfortunately we did not have this at the time." She wielded it like a weapon. "I wonder if this green dick likes anal?"

"Sure he does, as long as you put plenty of lube on him."

* * *

The two distinguished-looking men in their late forties attired in expensive suits sat at the bar of their local club talking sports and stocks and sex.

"Let me get this straight," one said to the other, "we are going to wear green spandex costumes and put edible green body paint on our cocks."

"Exactly. Then these hot college coeds my daughter's age wearing little green short-shorts and really tight wifebeaters, with no bras underneath of course, that say 'I Love Green Dick' on the front are going to suck the green off our cocks. All for the love of their favorite Earth Day cause, and $500."

"Man, $500 for a blow job. That's pretty stiff."

"Yeah, and so am I pretty stiff just thinking about it. Oh, we can write off the $500 on our taxes as a charitable donation. After we donate a big load of spunk down their throats. It's all perfectly legal. Trust me, I am a lawyer, you know."

"Well, I just don't know about all this. I am a minister, you know. What if somebody finds out? I'll be ruined."

"That's why the full-body green spandex suits. Just a few holes for your eyes and mouth and a flap so you can get out your dick to pee or do whatever with it. Nobody will recognize you. I know you're a Methodist minister now, but didn't you used to be a Catholic priest before your conversion? I seem to remember you saying something about an altar boy who could suck a golf ball through a hose."

"I never touched an altar boy unless he was over eighteen! I'm no pedophile! I must admit that I like halter girls better than altar boys. I mean, when you are getting your hose drained, would you rather be looking down at a hairy chest or some great cleavage?"

"Like I said, the girls will be wearing wifebeaters, not halter tops."

"What's the difference as long as you can see nipple."

"Good point. Two of them. Hey, here's an advertisement with a picture of two of the girls who will be participating in this fantastic Earth Day celebration."

In the picture, the two girls were kissing and fondling one another. You could see the front of one and the behind of the other.

"Wow! What does it say on the back of those little green shorts?"

"I can't make it out. We need a closer look. Much closer. I sure would like to put my nose between those two words on those shorts, whatever the words are. Not to mention my dick." He guffawed.

"What makes you think those girls suck cock? They look like lesbians to me."

"All these college babes are bisexual. They fuck their girlfriends and suck their boyfriends. That way they don't get knocked up before they graduate."

"Let's go get our green spandex suits, green edible body paint, and blow jobs!"

* * *

Walking to the Earth Day festivities, Aimee and I witnessed a very strange incident.

"What in the world is that person doing?" Aimee asked, perplexed.

A naked person ran through a little stream and approached a large tree. We could only see the person's behind.

"Well, let's go find out," I suggested.

We got closer. "That girl has a sweet ass, and I could have mistaken her for you with all that red hair." The person heard us and turned around half way. "Wow, she has smaller tits than me!"

"Uh . . . that's no girl, Aimie. You can tell by his big hard cock."

Aimee giggled. "Yeah, so I see. He's cute!"

"We hate to intrude, sir," I said matter-of-factly, "but we are so curious. What are you doing?"

"I'm fucking this tree," he replied, not looking the least embarrassed. "I find a nook in the tree just wide enough for my penis to slide into, and slowly hammer away until I ejaculate, providing the tree with bountiful nutrients. Why, I have even fucked a tree my sister named Fred."

"Your dick is green!" Aimee squealed.

"Must be the chlorophyll," he answered. "I rub up my penis with leaves and grass. You know, foreplay."

"Wow, I've heard of dude's having some strange fetishes," Aimee marveled, "but this is really weird!"

"What's your name?" I asked him.

"David."

"Well, David, you are a good-looking guy. Can't you like find a girl to take care of your sexual needs so you don't have to go around fucking trees?"

"I'm shy. I have trouble meeting girls. Trees are no problem."

"Well, you could really get a bad splinter or something," I advised. "Wouldn't you rather have some hot babe suck your dick than stick it into a tree?"

"Like you two?"

"Exactly."

"Sure I would! Beats wood."

"You give 'got wood' an entirely new meaning, David. Do you have $500?"

"Oh yes, I'm quite wealthy. My father owns the largest lumber company in the area, and he made me Vice President, although I don't do anything."

"But fuck trees," Aimee added, giggling again. "God, you are so cute! I'd give you a freebie, but since you have the money . . ."

"What are you talking about?"

"What does it say on our shirts?"

"I'm blind. I'll have to use my hands. Braille, you know." He fondled one of Aimee's breasts with his left hand and one of mine with his right hand. "Well, your shirts say 'I Love, represented by the big red heart, Dick. Dick is in green lettering."

"Dude, you are hilarious," Aimee complimented. "I don't mind you copping a feel, as long as you make it funny."

"Yes indeed, we love green dick, at least on Earth Day," I explained, "and your dick is green, right?"

David nodded like a woodpecker, his cock still swollen with need.

Then I told David where to go for his spandex suit, and where to go for his blow job. He didn't really need the green edible body paint since his dick was already green.

* * *

Professor Lemieux rented a vacant office building for the Earth Day extravaganza. There was not complete privacy for the assignations, but the high cubicle walls at least provided something left to the imagination for those not actively engaged in the escapade in question.

The building had handicap access, and coincidentally, the first client arrived in a wheelchair.

He introduced himself as Spike to the group of us girls standing in the reception area. Spike had the sleeves of his spandex suit rolled up practically to his shoulders, revealing heavily muscled and tattooed arms.

"I'll take you and you!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"Two of us?" Aimee wondered aloud. "You must be really horny!"

Spike suddenly looked somewhat sad. "Actually, I . . . uh . . . I was severely injured in an accident when I dumped my Harley. I can't . . . uh . . . you know."

"Then what do you want?" I asked, confused.

From out of his bag he pulled two large cucumbers. "I want to watch you two fuck each other with these cucumbers. They were organically grown by yours truly. Quite Earth Day, don't you think?"

Professor Lemieux interjected, "That will cost you $1,000 not $500. You will be taking up the time of two girls instead of one."

"Wow, those cucumbers are huge!" Aimie observed, frowning. "I just don't know about this. You got any smaller ones?"

"Almost 12 inches," Spike beamed. "You two do each other with these, and I'll contribute the $1,000. Otherwise, forget it. The nuns over at the convent down the street will pay me big bucks for these. Although watching them fuck with vegetables and fruit isn't all that exciting. Well, except for the bananas. But that's getting boring too."

"Aimie, that black basketball player we double-teamed was bigger than those cucumbers," I reminded her.

Her face lit up. "Okay, let's do it!" she agreed.

Aimee and I got down to some serious cucumber fucking. Someone found us a bunch of cushions from couches, and we bounced around on them in the largest cubicle in the place. Spike sat in his wheelchair blocking the entrance so no one else could see. Well, nobody except those who found something to stand on, and leaned over the cubicle walls.

"Damn, that was hot!" Professor Lemieux roared, as finally we stopped.

We handed the glistening cucumbers back to Spike.

"Dude, I'm sure glad you didn't ask us to do anal," Aimie spoke softly, breathing a sigh of relief.

"I prefer pussy juice as opposed to that other stuff," Spike responded, as he backed out and happily wheeled away, licking one cucumber and then the other.

"Now there goes a satisfied Earth Day customer!" Professor Lemieux boasted.

Aimee and I regrouped and joined the other girls in the reception area waiting in line for their next assignment. Customers began to arrive in droves and in no time we found ourselves at the front. The next two men arrived together, telling each other jokes about lawyers and preachers.

"Hello," I greeted warmly.

"Why are you wearing those green masks?" one of them asked.

"For the same reason you are wearing those full-body green spandex suits," I answered. "Nobody needs to know who anybody is. This isn't the prom. It's a blow job.

"Hey girls, turn around please," the other one said to Aimee and I. "We are very curious as to what it says on the back of your little green shorts. We couldn't make it out in the advertisement."

We turned around and they bent over to get a real close look. "Dude, do you read with your nose?" I complained.

The one who had been making preacher jokes observed, "Hmmm, it says 'Ban' on one cheek and 'ED' on the other cheek. Who is ED? He must have really pissed you girls off."

"ED is not a who," I corrected. "It's an acronym."

"For what, Earth Day?"

"No, no, it's an acronym for Erectile Dysfunction. That is our mission—to ban Erectile Dysfunction on Earth Day."

"I don't think I'm going to have a problem with ED," the one who had been telling the preacher jokes responded. "Hey, and I like your 'I Love Dick' shirts. My daughter has a shirt something like that. But the word Dick is in black instead of green, and in much smaller gold letters is the word 'LeBeau' on her shirt. Dick Lebeau is the Pittsburgh Steelers Defensive Coordinator, soon to be inducted into the Hall of Fame."

"Oh, just about every girl on our campus has a football shirt like that," Aimee replied. "We're all Steeler fans."

"Yeah, fuck the Browns!" I added.

"Oh, you like anal?" he asked hopefully.

"No, no, I'm talking about Cleveland. But I do sometimes like . . . oh never mind."

"Let's get down to business," the one who had been making lawyer jokes suggested. "Here's my $500 contribution." Professor Lemieux snatched the money. "Now can we get our blow jobs?"

"Sure, honey," Aimee cooed as she took him by the hand. "I hate lawyers too. My parents got divorced and it's all some lawyer's fault. He claimed my mother committed adultery because she had sex with somebody besides my father."

"That does sound like adultery to me, my dear."

"The person she had sex with was me. When I graduated from high school, my mother thought it advisable to teach me the art of cunnilingus. She said it would be important to know when I got to college."

"Ain't that the truth!" I agreed.

"Dumb ass lawyers!" he practically yelled as he glanced sideways at his friend and laughed.

"Enough talk," his friend insisted as he took me by the hand as he gave Professor Lemieux his money.

He and I went to the cubicle where Aimee and I had been preparing vegetables for Spike. Aimee and her fellow occupied the cubicle next to us.

"Now, how would you like your blow job, honey?" I purred. "You standing with me on my knees in front of you. Or I could get on my back, lean my head back, and you can fuck my mouth. Or—"

"How about if I sit on that swivel chair and you get between my legs? My knees get weak when my cock is getting sucked, and I can barely stand."

"Whatever floats your boat, honey. Or pops your rocks. Now listen, premature ejaculation is not a problem with me. When I'm sucking cock, anyway. So you just shoot your wad whenever you want. I swallow so don't worry about that. Do you want me to take you deep at the moment of truth and you pump it all down my throat? Or would you rather I pull it out so you can cum all over my face and tits?"

"Can I see your tits before I decide? I mean, I got a good idea, what with that tight shirt and no bra, but I'd like a better look."

"Sure, honey." I pulled the shirt down from the top.

"Great hooters! I'd like to blow half my load down your throat and the other half all over your face and tits."

"Well, math isn't my strong suit, but I'll do the best I can to make it 50-50."

He sat in the chair and I got between his spread legs on my knees. I opened the flap of his green man suit and pulled out his boner.

"You got me hard at 'Hello' I do believe," he admitted.

Meanwhile, all we could hear coming from the next cubicle was slurping sounds and Aimee's companion yelling "Praise the Lord!" and "Hallelujah!" and "This is the Rapture!" and such.

"How bad do you want me to make your cock red like my lipstick instead of green?" I asked him sweetly.

"Real bad!"

I traced my pretty painted lips with the tip of his cock. "Would you like me to put it in my mouth?"

"

Res ipsa loquitor

. That's lawyer jargon. It means 'the thing speaks for itself.' In other words, yes! Put my cock between your lips!"

"But I won't be able to make meaningful conversation. You'll have to talk to yourself."

"That's okay. I talk to myself a lot."

"When this big cock of yours tickles my tonsils, I might get a sore throat and not be able to talk for a week."

"There is always e-mail."

"Are you sure you want me to do this, honey? My teeth might hurt you."

"Would you please just do it! I can't stand it! Quit teasing me!"

"You know, I think I could make you cum by just talking to you like this. Couldn't I?"

"Yes, you probably could, but you are using your hands, you know."

"You can talk nasty to me if you want. I know it's just playing."

"Suck my dick, you cock-sucking cum-guzzling bitch!"

I giggled. "Okay.

I took his hands and placed them on my breasts. Putting his cock in my mouth, I slid my moistened tongue back and forth over and under the head. Gradually I sucked more and more cock down my throat. My hands went behind him and played with his butt, fingering his hole as I pushed my nose against his pubic hair, making all of his cock disappear.